Sad :(

[spoiledangel860505]

:( I met this guy on a dating site, we have been talking online through IM and e-mail, we have met in person to hang out about 6 times, and in the beg. he told me he was just on the site for friends, which was fine in the beg. but after I started meeting him in person I began to really like him, because he likes friends with benefits, we haven't done anything but he talks about doing things with me and its hard because he plans on doing stuff with me. The reason why he said he was just looking for friends but wasn't sure if he wanted more, and he had the "Well see where it goes" kind of attitude is because he really likes his best friend, and now they are dating/in a relationship.
Now I am so sad and I don't really want to be around him anymore because it hurts but at the sametime I don't want to lose a friend.
And doesn't friends with benefits stop after you've found a gf/bf?
Everytime I think about him I start crying. I feel like I'm not good enough for him or something.

[spoiledangel860505]

:( I met this guy on a dating site, we have been talking online through IM and e-mail, we have met in person to hang out about 6 times, and in the beg. he told me he was just on the site for friends, which was fine in the beg. but after I started meeting him in person I began to really like him, because he likes friends with benefits, we haven't done anything but he talks about doing things with me and its hard because he plans on doing stuff with me. The reason why he said he was just looking for friends but wasn't sure if he wanted more, and he had the "Well see where it goes" kind of attitude is because he really likes his best friend, and now they are dating/in a relationship.
Now I am so sad and I don't really want to be around him anymore because it hurts but at the sametime I don't want to lose a friend.
And doesn't friends with benefits stop after you've found a gf/bf?
Everytime I think about him I start crying. I feel like I'm not good enough for him or something.

Any advice?

[lickitall]

Sorry about your situation dear.
All I can say is time will heal.
You can't change another person.
But you can change how YOU react to this.
You can choose to dwell and hurt, or you can choose anything else.
God Bless and Hugs

[Solomon]

you could ask him about it.... but other than that, i'd lick the wounds an move on :cool:

[Herbwoman39]

It's rough when you get attached to someone who likes someone else. Best thing you can do is to take care of yourself now and move on with your life.

After all, there are plenty of fish in the sea and there's more where he came from.

[Chris_]

im really sorry dude its gotta hurt but look on the brighter side, if u ask him about it u may find urself in a 3 way relationship (hopefully an open one and not an affair), or he might help u through it and still be friends, u dont need to lose him as a friend because he is dating his mate. ;)

[biwords]

I don't get the impression that a threesome is going to heal this particular wound!

My only comment is about the 'feeling I'm not good enough for him' part. AN important truth -- though almost impossible to buy into when you're in the middle of unrequited love is: It's Not Personal. That is, people are attracted to the people they're attracted to, and there's little we can do about it. Let's say I met you, spoiledangel, and went gaga over you, and you just thought, "ewwww! biwords? gag me!" That wouldn't say anything about how 'good' I am. After all, other people haven't said 'ewwww!' to me. But if you weren't interested (enough, I mean, to give me what I was looking for) that would just be tough luck for me -- but it wouldn't say anything about what I'm 'worth'.

I know this is obvious, but I find it's one of those things it never hurts to remember.....

For the rest, I agree with the others; grieve, move on, begin again...

[flexuality]

It's okay to feel sad and it's okay to cry.....and it's a heck of a lot better than trying to not feel those things when you do feel'em. hugs

[arana]

(((((((( Spoiledangel )))))))))))))) unfortunately our hearts want what they want regardless of what our brains tell it. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this pain. I think most do at some point and all you can really do is try to move on. Lickitall said it best. Good luck sweetie.

[GreenEyedLady(GEL)]

Sorry about your situation dear.
All I can say is time will heal.
You can't change another person.
But you can change how YOU react to this.
You can choose to dwell and hurt, or you can choose anything else.
God Bless and Hugs

That is easier said than done , but its wonderful advice.

[shadowsaffinity]

My only comment is about the 'feeling I'm not good enough for him' part. AN important truth -- though almost impossible to buy into when you're in the middle of unrequited love is: It's Not Personal. That is, people are attracted to the people they're attracted to, and there's little we can do about it. Let's say I met you, spoiledangel, and went gaga over you, and you just thought, "ewwww! biwords? gag me!" That wouldn't say anything about how 'good' I am. After all, other people haven't said 'ewwww!' to me. But if you weren't interested (enough, I mean, to give me what I was looking for) that would just be tough luck for me -- but it wouldn't say anything about what I'm 'worth'.

wow! that was well stated and i don't think obvious at all. very good! i never thought of that before.

[PolyLoveTriad]

His loss not yours and though it hurts, hang in there cuz theres someone for everyone in this world!

[Lisa (va)]

Folks can't help how they feel towards other people, whether it is someone you're interestd in and they are not, or someone interested in you but you are not. It may hurt some, but it is something that will pass.

You say he wasnts friends with benefits. Ever consider being friends without benefits? If that's not an option with him, maybe he sin't such a good friend.

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[m.in.heels&hose]

Hello spoiled angel!
I kinda know what you're feeling right now

i myself am just getting over a similar situation a few weeks ago, i was about ready to give up on my (wonderful) 13 year marriage for one of my best friends (female) and she is also my next door neighbor

When i told her of my feelings for her, she was flattered, but she said she has to stand behind her beliefs (she is not, will not and could never be, a home wrecker) and i had told my wife about my feelings as well, things are getting back to normal here, but it was me who had to straighten out my thinking to get things back to the way the should have always been
and thankfully gina has stood behind me, and didnt leave me flat!!!

like arana said "unfortunately our hearts want what they want regardless of what our brains tell it. "
is very true

dont loose your focus, and let time do its thing

i wish you the best of luck
and hopefully things will work out for you as well


m.in.heels&hose :)