newbie

[anonyj13]

hello all,
I'm new to all of this i hope i don't sound too stupid. Well, here's the situation. I am a married woman(not so happily at this time) who has recently come to terms with her sexuality. I find more and more that i would love to be with another woman. My husband does not know this and i really don't plan to tell him at this time. Don't think he would be understanding. i have to sneak around on the computer to get to these forums. Anyway, i have been with a woman before and it's really exciting to me. My problem is that i don't know if i'm truly bi or if my marriage is so stagnant that the thought of another man right just doesn't do it for me. has anybody had this problem. plz help.

[Solomon]

for stagnate marriages try this link:

www.marsvenus.com

and i think it is possible that frustrations with your marriage might certainly influence your thinking in terms of sexuality... but it's not a black and white rule either

so you're the ultimate judge on that for you :cool:

[littlerayofsunshine]

Hello and Welcome Anony,

I don't have any answers for you, but I wish you much luck and sucess on your quest of understanding. And don't even think for one second you sound stupid.

[csrakate]

Afraid I don't have any advice but I wanted to welcome you to this site. I am certain there are folks here who can help you..this is a site full of friendly and helpful people!

Welcome!!!

Hugs,
Kate

[onewhocares]

First and foremost....WELCOME. I hope you will find that this site is worth searching around for. It is a place to come for advice (from people who may have been in your situation), to find comfort an solice, and to make friends.
As I write this note, I have just taken a break from reading Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. It is very ensightful to say the least. Sol gives great advice. Take care and I am here if you wish to talk.

Belle

[biwords]

Haven't been in this situation, and only you can judge it, but: if you don't experiment, how will you know?

[lickitall]

Welcome,
I have had this same situation, I feel I am in it right now. Only the gender is switched.
I was married for 11 years and the sex and relationship sucked. Now I've been with SO for 7 years and the relationship is just boring and the sex almost non-existent. Probably due to my being bored with it. I have to initiate and do most of the work..lol
I am sure it is one reason I am think about sex with a male.
no answers but I understand your questioning.

[swans]

Hello from a married man. Try talking to your hubby, he may be more understanding than you think. Lots of guys are really turned on by the idea of our wives/ girlfriends having desires to have sex with another women. Discussing your fantasies with him may spice things up between you both. If you do he may only be comfortable with just the fantasy of it or he may, if you really want to experience sex with another woman again, be quite ok about it all.
It may not be a great shock to him. It may be the start of a whole new happy chapter in your relationship.

Hope it all works out for you.

[12voltman59]

hello all,
I'm new to all of this i hope i don't sound too stupid. Well, here's the situation. I am a married woman(not so happily at this time) who has recently come to terms with her sexuality. I find more and more that i would love to be with another woman. My husband does not know this and i really don't plan to tell him at this time. Don't think he would be understanding. i have to sneak around on the computer to get to these forums. Anyway, i have been with a woman before and it's really exciting to me. My problem is that i don't know if i'm truly bi or if my marriage is so stagnant that the thought of another man right just doesn't do it for me. has anybody had this problem. plz help.


All I want to do is to welcome you to this site--I cannot offer any advice in terms of how to do things regarding your or any marriage for as yet--I have never been in the state of matrimony---

Hopefully you will find some answers here and no my dear--your questions and concerns are not at all stupid--they are very real and valid---

You wight get some responses that "you need to tell your hubby" or something like that--to that I say--at least at this point of where you are at--rubbish---you don't know in your own mind where you are at on this--

I have to say--yes--honesty is usually the best policy in most things--but that does not go without qualifications and exceptions--and having some secrets--even from your marriage partner in my book is just fine...but then again-I guess that is why I have never married!!!! LOL

Good luck in searching for the answers to those questions that bother you so--I sincerly hope and trust that you will find them---

Welcome to the site my dear....

[flexuality]

Hi and Welcome! :)

www.marsvenus.com is an excellent site and the book Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus is absolutely great for communication and even more so for situations like yours.

[anonyj13]

Thank u all for your post. it's nice to have a place to go where i can talk. Thank you

[BreeIsMe]

Welcome Anony,
I don't think anyone here has an "answer" for you but we will certainly support you in finding YOUR answer.

I would suspect that your bisexuality and marriage are linked but things are seldom black and white. Certianly if your marriage was more "interesting" your bisexuality might take a back seat and vice versa. Having a bad marriage I don't think "makes" anyone bisexual but simply changes ones expression to something that is there already. Good luck finding your answer. The site that has been suggested (www.marsvenus.com) is certainly a great place to start and should be mandatory for all.!!

Bree

[moonlitwish]

Sweetie I was in your situation just over a year ago. Turns out my lack of desire for my husband-and men in general- was because I was a lesbian with only the slightest bisexual urges that had been spurred on by my parents (and society in general) my whole life. I ignored my attraction to women because I had been taught it was wrong. I left my husband and was never happier than in my lesbian relationship. After she dumped me, I dated men but they are not what I truly desire. So women for me please :bigrin:

Now this is just my situation, and quite frankly you may just be bored but be aware this has happened to all extremes. Talk to your husband AFTER you have made up your mind on the issue. You need to know what you want before you bring in another party.

[arana]

Welcome anonyj13 and best of luck to you. The one nice thing about this site is there will always be someone in a similar situation as you or has been there that you can talk to. It really makes you feel you're not so unusual after all. Best wishes!

[NorthBiEast]

Certainly you know your husband best, but I know that for me, talking out those first urges and questions not only helped me know myself better, but it also brought my husband and me closer (and it definitely spiced up our love life!) It sounds like even just having an open conversation about sex in general, without the bi part, is in order. You never know, he might surprise you.

Oh, and welcome! :flag4: