Is it flirting when...

[Fuzzled_one]

In talking about relationships you mention that you are over 20 year olds and like them at around 26, then the person says, well thats me out of the picture then dosent it?

Or if when you say that i do all my mates hair and make up and that i always give massages but havent received one so putting the hair straightner down goes well you have these pressure points here and she starts to massage my shoulders!

Or before you had sat down to get your hair straightended you take one of two tops off and she goes this is turning out to be a great night im loosing my pants and you are loosing your top?

And then finding out this person isnt that way inclined...im not to sure about that?

[biwords]

Seems to me there are two questions here: (1) is it flirting? and (2) if it is, are we talking about flirting 'with intent' or just a general playfulness? Unfortunately, it's hard to know the answer(s) without being present to witness tone, expression, body language and so on.

[BreeIsMe]

Fuzzled,
there are many reasons for what people say. Where I work, people "play around" with sexual inudendo's all the time (even though "sexual harrassment" is prohibited) and generally we all just laugh about it and go on. None of us feels that anyone is serious. "Flirting" can mean a lot of different things apart from the widely recognized "flirting" that means one is interested in another sexually. For example, the massage you mentioned probably is NOT sexual as there are many people who enjoy getting and giving massages for reasons having to do nothing with sex. It takes a lot of experience and the exact context of the situation to know what is meant (in other words, you are supposed to read between the lines).
One way to deal with this is to "flirt" back to find out what the other means.

For instance, when a comment is made about your top coming off and someone elses bottoms coming off, you could jokingly ask: "So you like my top off, do you want me to stop there?"

granted, this has to be in the right circumstance and this thing is always open to hassles if it is as work so I would caution you about doing this type of thing at work unless you are really sure who you are dealing with but where I work, I could do that easily with many of my co-workers and they would laugh and probably say "no, keep going until you reach your toes!!"

These are my thoughts only and are not necessarily the thoughts of anyone else....

Bree