How do you...

[selfcataclysm]

deal with discrimination? I've recently come out to my close friends, but, I'm in high school and we all know how stuff spreads. Its a big change for me but I'm comfortable with it. I've always known how to just tell people to eff off but I don't really know what to do, this is so different. So what do you do when someone starts making cracks about your sexuality?

[flexuality]

I was once told something that makes sense to me....I dunno if it helps or not....

It's like a boxing ring... if someone is making jokes or whatever, then they are trying to get you to step into the boxing ring with them. If you step in, you're agreeing with them, as far as fighting about it goes (not agreeing with the jokes) and they "win"....if you stay out of the ring, then you "win."

Sometimes it helps....gives it a different perspective....and sometimes it is worth getting into the boxing ring.....other times it is not.....

[DiamondDog]

highschool? how old are you?

Just call them a bigot.

[selfcataclysm]

Just turned 18, I'm a senior.

[BreeIsMe]

Doesn't matter if you are 18 or 68 or whatever, the world responds in much the same manner to things it doesn't understand..

Like burning witches at the stake
inprisoning Japanese American citizens because of an irrational fear the might attack their own nation...
pulling over African Americans in cars just because they are African American..

Don't be surprised, don't get defensive

just try to enlighten as difficult as that may be..

Bree




Just turned 18, I'm a senior.

[LoveLion]

Im not sure how I would deal with it. So far I havent run into any. Iv only been out for less then a year, and most of the people I know assume I am still straight. The ones that have found out or i have made an effort to tell are all close friends who are really understanding people. I guess I am luck. so far...

[TxGuy]

Im not sure how I would deal with it. So far I havent run into any. Iv only been out for less then a year, and most of the people I know assume I am still straight. The ones that have found out or i have made an effort to tell are all close friends who are really understanding people. I guess I am luck. so far...


so far I feel I've been lucky too. I've been out less than a month and haven't gotten anything negative off of anyone I've told, which have either been really close friends or people I thought were cool. However, I've been really aprehensive about coming out to some of my closer "work friends". Yes, I think they'd be cool with it, but I also think they'd tell someone and spread it around.

Inevitably I belive someone asshat would come up to me and say something like "so you suck cock huh" in a negative way. Then I'd be afraid I would slam my keyboard across his face.

[izzfan]

how to deal with discrimination? Well,I have to say that I haven't really experienced any heavy discrimination probably due to the fact that I've only partially come out a few months ago - about the worst thing that has happened is when 2 of my friends called me a 'poof' on separate occasions [however, one on of these occasions they meant it as a crtiticism of being effeminate ( I had discovered the wonders of nail varnish shortly before this) rather than anything to do with sexuality] but this wasn't meant with any serious malice [mild disdain at the worst].

As for bisexuality, I have had people make foolish/biphobic comments or trying to 'convince' met that I'm gay. Most of the time, this annoys me a bit and I usually try to make some witty reply or just ignore them.

I'm probably not the best person to talk to about methods of dealing with discrimination as my usual response is to either hide in the closet [still sort of the case with the TV/CD aspects of myself - although I have been 'out' a couple of times under the guise of 'fancy dress'] or start arguing with the person who has made the comments. Both methods are probably not recommended for various reasons.

Izzfan :flag3:

[the sacred night]

I got a few mildly offensive jokes about bisexuality from my gay friends a few months back, but when I put the word out in a gentle way that I had heard some hurtful comments, people immediately came to me to apologize privately without me even having to say publicly who had said stuff. Str8 people haven't made any comments except for the occasional person who tries to convince me Jesus will cure me of it, and usually they're shocked to note I know the Bible better than they do :tong:

[Dr.StrangeLove]

I think the best thing you can do is act like you're unphased by it even if it drives you crazy...laugh it off if you can...the more confident you seem in yourself, the less others will try to hassle you about who you are. Don't engage in a back and fourth dialogue, biggotry is how stupid people respond to fear of others, nothing logical you say will matter. If you try and tell them off, it may just fuel the problem...just practice knowing that you don't need others approval to be happy, and soon you won't need to act at all, you just won't care that there are people who make fun of you.

A friend of mine who's also a biggotted asshole (don't we all have at least one?) once called me a pussy for ordering a hefeweisen at a bar (you know wheat beer with a lemon)...apparently putting lemon in your beer makes you a pussy. Anyway, I was just like "yeah dude, I love lemon in my beer...lemon, limes..." then I slowly rubbed the lemon all over the rim of my glass and squeezed it into my beer looking at him the whole time and grinning. Then I orderd another and did the same thing...after I outdrank him he shut his mouth (its easy to imasculate macho assholes). The best way to react to someone who's trying to get your goat is to laugh back at them and show them that their bullshit doesn't effect you or your confidence in who you are.

Congratulations on coming out...for me coming out has been really empowering...good luck with everything

[FalconAngel]

And if Dr. Strangelove's idea doesn't work, then you can fall back on one of my favorite ones;

Tell them, quite calmly and matter of factly, that folks who do that do it because they are just insecure about their own sexuality. And without skipping a beat, tell them not to deny it because it just makes them look like they're trying too hard to cover their own closeted butts.

And make sure that their friends are around to hear you say it. It saved me from a bit of hassle in high school more than a couple of times.

[sexybicplinwv]

highschool? how old are you?

Just call them a bigot.
I got that to (((DiamondDog))) He did say High School? :female:

[yoyo4u]

.. He did say High School? :female:

sexy.....
:)
Believe me, we already envy you enough for the age difference you enjoy!!! :)

love,
yoyo :tongue:

[selfcataclysm]

Hahaha, well, its one of those times where I wish I was older and had a little bit more control over my life. I'd rather have more responsibilities but some control over what I do than be forced through these institutions. Blah. But enough whining...
Thanks for all the support, I'll keep all this in mind.