Why We Don't Like Coming Out

[DuskTillDawn]

Found This Poem On Some Random Website

You don't exist. He used to say it
to my face: You don't exist.


You're what? What's that?
Oh.
Can I watch sometime?
Yeah, I've heard that's trendy right
now. You're just trying to be cool. You're just trying to be
politically correct.

You're a fence
sitter. We're all waiting
for you to come out
come down. We're all waiting
for you.

Which one are you more, really? Who makes you come
the most?

You just take it
wherever you can get it, don't you?

We're here to talk today about everybodyexceptyou. We're
working for the rights of everybodyexceptyou. The oppression of
everybodyexceptyou has got to end.

Don't worry, you'll grow out of it.

But you're one of us. You can't be one of us and
one of those, too.

I could never sleep with you.
I could never sleep with one of you.
I might get dumped might get thrown over for one of them might
get AIDS might die might lose all
of my friends.

Oh, so is that why you always
have such a hard time coming?

Yeah, I know that some people feel that way, but
why do you always have to
talk about it so much?

You can't ever be monogamous/get married/have kids/
have a stable relationship, can you?

You're just oversexed
horny desperate confused. Why, you'd sleep wtih anyone,
wouldn't you?

Is this your way of telling me
that you want to go to bed with me?

I went through that phase too. It lasted 2
minutes 2 months 6 months 2 years 10 years, but I
saw the light
eventually.

I feel that way too, but that doesn't make
me
one of you.

[DiamondDog]

I've seen that poem and can relate to some stuff.

But I see coming out as being honest to yourself and the people who you care about, and it's more about not feeling bad or ashamed about your sexuality. Or lying about your sexuality when your family/friends assume that you're heterosexual since they are.

I came out since I'm an honest person and I grew up around A LOT of closeted bi men, and they compartmentalize their sexuality and wind up doing some fucked up shit.

Yeah I'm jaded against married closeted bi men but I've seriously had horrible experiences with them and I've never even had sex with one. I thankfully also grew up around lots of out gay men who see being out as a good thing, since it is.

I got tired of lying about my sexuality or hearing heterosexual friends/family that kept asked me if I was dating women, had a girlfriend, or lying about being sexually active with women when I was sexually active with men and just telling friends that I was having sex with women.

I'm also out as being queer to set an example for people who aren't yet ready to come out or who are afraid to. When I was growing up I did have some queer/bi role models but for the most part they were dead writers or musicians, and not people who I really knew.

The way I see it, if someone wants to be a bigot and get on my case about my sexuality it's their loss and I don't lose sleep over it since you can't please everyone.

If it's a fellow GLBT person doing this I think that it's a shame that they're so prejudiced, close minded, fearful, bigoted, set in their stubborn stereotypical thinking, and mean spirited that they don't see the hypocrisy of being against a fellow queer person, while they themselves are queer.

[izzfan]

I have to admit that I am only partially 'out' about aspects of my sexuality. I mean, I've had people trying to convince me that I'm "actually" gay just because I've only had sex with men - but then again, bisexuality has more to do with attraction than physical sexual activity and I can assure you that my attractions are not entirely homosexual.

As for coming out in general - my sexuality is quite complicated and I am more confident about various aspects of it such as same-sex attractions but other aspects of it such as TV/CD and S&M aspects of it tend to generate a bit of self-hatred and I really wouldn't want to come out too much about them [I mean, I've drunkenly rambled on about TV/CD stuff to a few friends at university and I'm sure my parents have probably worked it out, so I'm sort of semi-out on that] but even then I keep firmly in the closet about the S&M aspects of my sexuality [mostly involving reading erotic S&M fiction and a slight interest in both being dominant and submissive in a straight bondage situation - preferably CDing if I'm submissive though] etc...

Plus, there is the whole aspect of how people will react if you come out. I mean, to some people it would be a bit of a shock and they would proabably never look the same way again, but others have probably guessed long ago that I'm a bit 'queer'. Also, In many ways I'm reluctant to come out to a lot of my old mates as I really like straight male culture [in a mostly non-sexual way I hasten to add. The only vaguely sexual aspect being that if I sleep with a gay/bi bloke then I prefer him to be 'straight acting' ] and I wouldn't want to ruin
my enjoyment of this wonderful culture by distancing myself from it by coming out. I guess its because I've grown up in this culture and it is the most familiar culture to me and although most aspects of 'gay culture' [a sweeping generalisation] are quite cool, I just feel like I'm able to fit into straight male culture [another sweeping generalisation] a lot more - hence why I'm reluctant to come out to some of my old friends.

Izzfan :flag3:

[LoveLion]

Found This Poem On Some Random Website
We're here to talk today about everybodyexceptyou. We're
working for the rights of everybodyexceptyou. The oppression of
everybodyexceptyou has got to end.



A lot of truth in that poem. Especially that stanza I quoted above. That was the hardest part when I was coming out and coming to terms. Every where I looked, all I found was gay support, gay rights, gay organizations, never anything for bisexuals.

[the sacred night]

I like that poem.

I actually tend not to 'come out' to people in a direct way as in saying the words 'i am bisexual' but rather i just talk about boys, talk about girls, and let them figure it out :tong: usually they ask me pretty soon 'are you bi?'

[Dr.StrangeLove]

I like that poem.

I actually tend not to 'come out' to people in a direct way as in saying the words 'i am bisexual' but rather i just talk about boys, talk about girls, and let them figure it out :tong: usually they ask me pretty soon 'are you bi?'

You should tell them no...you just think chicks are hot...but you're straight. Personally, I'm straight, I just have a man fetish. :tong:

DD, I agree with what you said. I think its important to be out for all of those reasons too.