jedinudist
Apr 28, 2007, 12:27 PM
This is a condensed version of an article I am writing. I'd like to hear your feedback :)
Assumptions. We all know the old line about what happens when you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.
There are an awful lot of people that seem to be assumption prone. I keep getting hit with their mistaken beliefs.
The ones that seem to cause the most issues for them are:
I am a Nudist.
I am Bisexual.
I am a Photographer.
I am an Artist.
I am Nudist. A non-sexual, clean minded, and well intended Nudist. Not a swinger, not a partner swapper. I could write thousands of words on family friendly social nudism (and I have), but will refrain from doing that right now. Nudism is the human body in it's natural state. It is not inherently dirty, perverted, or sexual. It is however amazingly relaxing and healthy both physically and psychologically. I realize that there are nudists out there for whom nudism is a sexual thing. They're NOT "nudists", they're hybrids! They are mixing nudism with sexuality. I am NOT one of them.
To me the human body is the greatest work of art we have, and we each have one. Honestly, clothing is more sexual than the human body is. The mere fact that a person does not have any clothing on is not a sexual thing at all. It's not the absence of clothing that is sexual. It is what a person does when nude, or how a person reacts when encountering nudity that can turn it into something sexual. It's the behavior factor the determines it all.
I just feel much more relaxed and less distracted and constrained when I am nude. My body feels more at ease, which in turn makes me feel more comfortable. Whether I am alone, with my wife, a few friends, or a large group, my views on nudism don't change. Too many people assume that because I am a nudist, I'm looking for sex. I'm not. In fact, I'm offended by people who use Nudism to do that. Does sex involve nudity? Usually. But that's nudity, not NUDISM. Does nudism involve sex? Not for me and my Nudist friends it doesn't.
I am Bisexual. I am happily married though, and deeply in love with my wife. I am not promiscuous. In fact, even though I have my wife's blessing to have a male friend with benefits, I have not done so. And that's not for lack of offers. It's because I'm not ready for that, and don't know if I ever will be. I've thought about it, and I've even looked around and posted the fact in online ads; but it stopped there. I definitely want to have regular friends who don't care that I am Bisexual, but just don't know if having sex outside my marriage is something I can do. Too many people assume that because I am Bisexual, I am promiscuous. I'm not. They assume that being Bisexual means I am ready to have sex with anyone, anytime. It doesn't. A person's sexual orientation can not be used to judge their behavior. There are allot of promiscuous people of all orientations, just as there are allot of people of all orientations who are not promiscuous.
I am a Photographer. I'm not a "professional" yet, but I am learning. Slowly learning that is. The more I learn, the more I see I have yet to learn. Apparently some people assume that because I am a photographer, especially one that is just starting out, I should be more than happy to lug all my gear to wherever they wish, and shoot professional level portraits for free. That includes shooting, post production, and even printing them out! When that doesn't happen, they get pissed. I hear things like "Well, aren't you a photographer?". When I explain that what they are expecting of me is the same as me asking them to come to my location and do what ever it is they do for a living, but to do it for free; I usually hear "yeah, but this is different. You're a photographer."
Such as with a networking administrator that wanted free family portraits. I was not friends with this guy, and only knew of him through someone else. He wanted me to come to his home and shoot, then he wanted a 16x20 print along with a "few sheets" of wallet size. And he was clear about the fact that this should all be free of charge. I asked when he would be coming to my home to set up a wireless network with all my computers and printers, he replied that he charges for that. He never caught on. These people are just selfish and expect freebies. They assume that because I am just getting started, they can take advantage of me and get free portraits just because they ask. Will I do free work for others? I already do quite a bit of free work actually. But I'm not the photography welfare office. If you're not a friend of mine, live in a $400,000 home, and are driving a car that cost more than my house, don't expect to get too much of a discount from me.
I am an Artist. At the moment, most of my gallery on Deviant Art is of nudes, and most of those are me. Why? the primary reason is because I am interested in the human form and I can't afford to pay other people to model. The more non-pornographic examples of the human form we can put out into the world, the more it will be accepted. We can tear down the bullshit that is being shoved down people's throats telling us we must all look like super models and body builders. We come in all different colors, shapes, and sizes, and we are all beautiful. It's time for us to tell the corporations that, instead of them telling all of us that we're ugly.
Just because I do nudes, some folks assume that I'll get sexual with a model. In fact, most of the people who "volunteer" to model are actually looking for sex. I've had people approach me and ask if I would do a few headshots for them in return for their modeling for me, only to later add that I should bring the condoms. WTF? (BE AWARE THAT JEFF, THE ONLY OTHER PERSON IN MY GALLERY AT THE MOMENT DID NOT ACT LIKE THIS. HE WAS PURELY PROFESSIONAL) When I ask what the hell I will need condoms for, I hear stuff like "Well, I know you Artists that do nudes have sex with your models, but I'm not going to have sex with you without a condom.". Uh-huh, this is where I thank them for their interest, explain that I do not work that way, and end the conversation. Being an artist does not mean that someone is eccentric (although I am to a degree), has no morals, or anything else other than the person is question is an artist.
Judge me by what I do, not by what you assume I will do.
Ok bisexual.com friends, what's your :2cents: on this so far?
Assumptions. We all know the old line about what happens when you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.
There are an awful lot of people that seem to be assumption prone. I keep getting hit with their mistaken beliefs.
The ones that seem to cause the most issues for them are:
I am a Nudist.
I am Bisexual.
I am a Photographer.
I am an Artist.
I am Nudist. A non-sexual, clean minded, and well intended Nudist. Not a swinger, not a partner swapper. I could write thousands of words on family friendly social nudism (and I have), but will refrain from doing that right now. Nudism is the human body in it's natural state. It is not inherently dirty, perverted, or sexual. It is however amazingly relaxing and healthy both physically and psychologically. I realize that there are nudists out there for whom nudism is a sexual thing. They're NOT "nudists", they're hybrids! They are mixing nudism with sexuality. I am NOT one of them.
To me the human body is the greatest work of art we have, and we each have one. Honestly, clothing is more sexual than the human body is. The mere fact that a person does not have any clothing on is not a sexual thing at all. It's not the absence of clothing that is sexual. It is what a person does when nude, or how a person reacts when encountering nudity that can turn it into something sexual. It's the behavior factor the determines it all.
I just feel much more relaxed and less distracted and constrained when I am nude. My body feels more at ease, which in turn makes me feel more comfortable. Whether I am alone, with my wife, a few friends, or a large group, my views on nudism don't change. Too many people assume that because I am a nudist, I'm looking for sex. I'm not. In fact, I'm offended by people who use Nudism to do that. Does sex involve nudity? Usually. But that's nudity, not NUDISM. Does nudism involve sex? Not for me and my Nudist friends it doesn't.
I am Bisexual. I am happily married though, and deeply in love with my wife. I am not promiscuous. In fact, even though I have my wife's blessing to have a male friend with benefits, I have not done so. And that's not for lack of offers. It's because I'm not ready for that, and don't know if I ever will be. I've thought about it, and I've even looked around and posted the fact in online ads; but it stopped there. I definitely want to have regular friends who don't care that I am Bisexual, but just don't know if having sex outside my marriage is something I can do. Too many people assume that because I am Bisexual, I am promiscuous. I'm not. They assume that being Bisexual means I am ready to have sex with anyone, anytime. It doesn't. A person's sexual orientation can not be used to judge their behavior. There are allot of promiscuous people of all orientations, just as there are allot of people of all orientations who are not promiscuous.
I am a Photographer. I'm not a "professional" yet, but I am learning. Slowly learning that is. The more I learn, the more I see I have yet to learn. Apparently some people assume that because I am a photographer, especially one that is just starting out, I should be more than happy to lug all my gear to wherever they wish, and shoot professional level portraits for free. That includes shooting, post production, and even printing them out! When that doesn't happen, they get pissed. I hear things like "Well, aren't you a photographer?". When I explain that what they are expecting of me is the same as me asking them to come to my location and do what ever it is they do for a living, but to do it for free; I usually hear "yeah, but this is different. You're a photographer."
Such as with a networking administrator that wanted free family portraits. I was not friends with this guy, and only knew of him through someone else. He wanted me to come to his home and shoot, then he wanted a 16x20 print along with a "few sheets" of wallet size. And he was clear about the fact that this should all be free of charge. I asked when he would be coming to my home to set up a wireless network with all my computers and printers, he replied that he charges for that. He never caught on. These people are just selfish and expect freebies. They assume that because I am just getting started, they can take advantage of me and get free portraits just because they ask. Will I do free work for others? I already do quite a bit of free work actually. But I'm not the photography welfare office. If you're not a friend of mine, live in a $400,000 home, and are driving a car that cost more than my house, don't expect to get too much of a discount from me.
I am an Artist. At the moment, most of my gallery on Deviant Art is of nudes, and most of those are me. Why? the primary reason is because I am interested in the human form and I can't afford to pay other people to model. The more non-pornographic examples of the human form we can put out into the world, the more it will be accepted. We can tear down the bullshit that is being shoved down people's throats telling us we must all look like super models and body builders. We come in all different colors, shapes, and sizes, and we are all beautiful. It's time for us to tell the corporations that, instead of them telling all of us that we're ugly.
Just because I do nudes, some folks assume that I'll get sexual with a model. In fact, most of the people who "volunteer" to model are actually looking for sex. I've had people approach me and ask if I would do a few headshots for them in return for their modeling for me, only to later add that I should bring the condoms. WTF? (BE AWARE THAT JEFF, THE ONLY OTHER PERSON IN MY GALLERY AT THE MOMENT DID NOT ACT LIKE THIS. HE WAS PURELY PROFESSIONAL) When I ask what the hell I will need condoms for, I hear stuff like "Well, I know you Artists that do nudes have sex with your models, but I'm not going to have sex with you without a condom.". Uh-huh, this is where I thank them for their interest, explain that I do not work that way, and end the conversation. Being an artist does not mean that someone is eccentric (although I am to a degree), has no morals, or anything else other than the person is question is an artist.
Judge me by what I do, not by what you assume I will do.
Ok bisexual.com friends, what's your :2cents: on this so far?