I Deserve This Crap?

[darkeyes]

I have just spent the large part of the last 2 days fretting and trying to patch up a relationship with someone of whom I am extremely fond because of the interference of several members of the site for whatever reason who think my biz, and that of the other person is something they can fuck with.

In the last 6 months I have had a shit time as it is and I am in no mood for and can do without people messing with friendships or any other relationship I have with any other member. I would not have the gall to interfere in ne 1 elses unless I wos absolutely sure of my grounds and that it was in the interests of my friends. And with the way the internet is certainly never on line.. I would not allow it in my personal life in the big bad world, and Im fukked if I will have it here.

I love so many members of this site so dearly, but this has certainly affected my view of just how close I am prepared to be with many of them. Trust in friends is a must in my book... suddenly I find that maybe that trust has been somewhat misplaced. There are quite a few I know would never be so shitty and I dismiss from my mind the slightest chance they were the arseholes...

Christ I am no angel, and certainly not as nice as my chat persona, and like anyone else am so flawed, often thoughtless and hurtful a medical encyclopaedia could be written just on my mind, far less my character and personaility. But I think I am no worse or no better than anyone else and do not believe I deserve this crap being thrown at me!

This isnt just for me..or my friend, but for any of us...its an awful way to run human relationships.. and any who for whatever reason feel they have the right to interfere...take your concerns up with me directly, not fuck with the minds of people I care about. I am stamping on it now...next time I will not be so fucking nice about it..and will burrow and burrow until I find the shitebags who feel they have the right to play with my life and the lives of those I love and care about!

My freind wishes that I do not raise this issue..but I cant leave it... my relationships with those I love and care about are just too important to me and I wont have them wrecked by any old bunch of arseholes with an axe to grind! I can damage my life for myself tyvm and dont need any help from anyone else...

So butt out and find a nice damp stone to crawl under and join the rest of the creepy crawlies who live in this world..and I dont mean slugs and snails and other beasties of the world!

[arana]

I'm still half asleep but what are you talking about? Did I do something? Did I miss something? You have a friend? (j/k!!!)
I'm sorry that someone(s?) has made you get to this point Fran, epecially with all the other stress you have been under. I hope you are able to clear this up and that its all a big misunderstanding.

[mouse46]

:( Hi Fran, read your post there seems to be alot of unnecessary crap going on in here.People come here to make friends and maybe find someone who might want to share a life with you. I 'm finding lately myself some not feeling it necessary to talk with me because I've chose not to be everyone's pardon my mouth Cyber fuck buddy. I think some people really need to get a grip on life .Everyone has different reasons for being here and should indeed respect others for why they are here as well and not try to make them out to be something they are clearly not.We're all suppose to be here for a good time and make new friendships. Life is way too short for petty grudges and plainly some people need to grow up and accept things for what they are. Get on with your lives for christ sake. Live your lives and leave people to the friendships they have. :bibounce: Great post Fran kisses and hugs

[sexybicplinwv]

:girl: , I dont know what happen to you. I well say this, Know one deserves to take anyone crap, You seem like a real good person, And you remind me of someone, all that would be myself :) If you love someone than you like them. I hope thing's get better :female:

[darkeyes]

I'm still half asleep but what are you talking about? Did I do something? Did I miss something? You have a friend? (j/k!!!)
I'm sorry that someone(s?) has made you get to this point Fran, epecially with all the other stress you have been under. I hope you are able to clear this up and that its all a big misunderstanding.
One thing me sure of Ran...none of the crap wud cum from u.... an ta for ya luff... an me hopes so 2...

lix the Ran ears..snogs the Ran lips...giggles..an runs like hell.. :bigrin:

ps..wotya mean dus me hav a freind???? Me getcha bak....no more lix an snogs for a wile for u!!!! :tong:

[Herbwoman39]

Fran,

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time sweets. People think that they're doing the "right thing" when they stick their noses where they don't belong. Many times they don't see the whole picture and just get focused on one aspect of the situation.

I hope that you and your friend are able to mend what those people tried to break.

~Maria~

[anne27]

Ya certainly don't deserve it. No one does. There are always people in the world who take it upon themselves to keep shit stirred. Ya gotta believe in karma and hope that they get theirs sometime soon!

My heart goes out to you. I've been through similar.

[texasman6172003]

Hi Fran,Iam so sorry to hear you are having trouble. It is no else's buisness what goes on here between members of this site. If someone want's to let you know they will tell you!!! I haven't known you very long Fran but let me tell you ,you are a joy to be around. I for one have defended my friend's that i have made since ive been here. Just ask Kate. Well don't really know what else to say Fran,but hope everything get's better..... :bipride:

[jedinudist]

Sorry to hear that some idiot has interfered in your life.

We hope things get better for you and your real friends soon! :)

[Tommy2020]

Holy cow, Fran. I hope that I did not inadvertently overstep your boundaries.

Someone has definitely pissed in your Post Toasties and if I said anything, even remotely, that was taken as prying into your life or the life of your friend (whoever that might be) then please let me know.

Thanks,

Tommy2020

[Solomon]

you'll get through this

[LoveLion]

Iv been there and I can say that sucks. If theres one thing I cant stand its people thinking they have a right to get involved in other people's relationships. Just the other day I flipped out at one of my best friends because he told me of him and another girls plan. Check this: They have a mutual friend who is a lesbian and is in a relationship with another women. Apparently when this friend gets drunk she has a tendency to flirt with men and become a little more straight (i dont know the degree or anything). So there plan was to get her very drunk then take advantage of her by get her to hook up with my male friend, thus making her cheat on her girl friend and sleep with a man. And why would they do this: "Its for her own good that shes not with a woman". God I was pissed off at that.

Anyways Iv gotten off point. Sorry to hear about your trouble. Most people on the site are here to help and support. I hope you dont judge this person too harshly on what may have been a mistake. Or if they truly deserve, I hope you dont lose any faith in the rest of us.

Lots of Love, LL

[DeafF2M]

Aw, Fran.. I'm sorry to hear some idiot is messing with your relationship...

Whoever it is... BACK OFF!

You've got a friend in me... even tho there's a rather large pond between us. LOL Hugs You got fire in you, .. keep it up.

:bibounce:

[darkeyes]

Ta me lufflies all for ya niceness..me calmed down a lot now..but me words still stand.. don like me life bein screwed by ne 1 who knows nowt, wetha malice or besta intentions me jus asks that peeps think fore they try an destroy friendships... if not for me then outa consideration for those me mos luffs!

[bigbadmax]

surely a personal life should be just that. dont let the bastards get you down but...... dont air your dirty laundry in public either.

oops theres me being blunt however this is not a personal forum...its for issues that affects others...unless i get told otherwise.

Im sorry that something has gone wrong but surely its betwen you and the other parties concerned...not the whole site

[darkeyes]

surely a personal life should be just that. dont let the bastards get you down but...... dont air your dirty laundry in public either.

oops theres me being blunt however this is not a personal forum...its for issues that affects others...unless i get told otherwise.

Im sorry that something has gone wrong but surely its betwen you and the other parties concerned...not the whole site
Havent ne dirty laundry..there none 2 air..jus warnin ne arseholes who wanna try an do the dirty on me an me m8s me jus aint gonna let em.. if me knew who they wr m wud take it up wiv them an no 1 else...but my friend duz not want me 2 take them on an me cant make er tell me who the bastards r... however hard me has tried!! But if she eva duz let it slip....

I have aired nothing, except the fact that there are a few peeps trying to stir poop between me an sum1 me cares bout..an don hav the balls 2 say it 2 me... that is a principle..and surely that is of concern to every1 on site?

[Rick30907]

Well, "darkeyes," you certainly do NOT deserve the crap you mention. Your business is just that--YOUR business. But I rather guess that everybody here has been through something quite similar with nosy parkers. BUT--I'm with your friend on this. If she says that you ought to drop it, then that's what *I'd* do if I were you. If your friend is not so concerned about the stupid intrusion into your business, then DO try--although I *KNOW* that this is easier said than done--to forget it and calm yourself and get on with YOUR business with your friend. From what you've written here, your friend seems to know that whatever has happened is NOT your doing, so, hard as it is to drop it, drop it anyway. If you don't, then you are just playing right into the hands off the intruder, and I, for one, would NEVER give such a person the satisfaction of knowing that he or she had gotten to me. If, however, you let the idiot know that he or she has upset you, then how do you think that person will react? My guess is that he or she will just keep it up--and do you really want that? Ignore whoever it is--as your friend suggests--and whoever it is will soon tire of needling you without any reaction from you--and will move on to something (or someone) else--probably ME! All this person wants is to stir something up, but if you don't rise to that bait, you can take the wind out of his or her sails until whoever it is just gets bored with trying without success to upset you. No need to throw gasolene (okay--"petrol") onto this fire, you know? Ignore the dolt. And this to EVERYBODY--Life is *NOT* "too short" for [whatever]. If you think that life is "too short," then go to ANY nursing home, look around a bit, and then come back & tell me that life is too short for [whatever]. The salient thing about life is *NOT* its brevity, but its UNCERTAINTY. Life is quite often far too long for a great many people, but life's UNCERTAINTY is the underlying problem. Best wishes to you, darkeyes, and to all here.

[bicurious bottom]

Sorry this has happened to you, darkeyes. Now you know why ladydelanie and myself chat on yahoo messenger, instead of here. The exact reasons you stated, are why.

best of luck,

bb

[Doggie_Wood]

Fran Hon - no! you don't deserve this crap and if I knew who done it ...... well just keep yer chin up love. Doggie gives Darkeyes a long wet doggie slobber.

[flexuality]

hear ya.....bin askin meself same thin....dif coin....same shit......

maybe we dive in plonk an cry...just cuz... :(

[ladydelanie]

Fran,

I am so sickened to hear you are having to go through this. Keep your chin up and stay true to you and yours!!

Life it too short to let people upset you. Then again you dont have to take anyones BS either!! Perhaps they mean well, but if it hurts you or your friendship/relationship with someone, well sorry others need to butt out.

For the love of God people please, just let others be happy! No matter what your feelings on the issue are.... Zip it. There are always many sides of the "story".
Hang in there Fran. Hugs hun!!

ladyd :)

[darkeyes]

Doggie!! Behave...1 thing me hates is long soggy slobber.. nice long an slow lingerin tender luffin smoochies..ok...but sod the slobberin!! tee hee..

Seriously, none of you can know just how much your words have meant to me, even Rick's who questioned the wisdom of my actions.. maybe I have over-reacted but my friendships, online or inlife, for I do not make a distinction, are everything to me.. and I will fight tooth and nail to preserve those friendships, and protect those I love so much.. its what friends do. God knows so I have many lovely friends in my life, but I cannot afford to lose a single one, and shall do everything I can to ensure that does not happen.

Sure it may be best to lie quiet and not let people know they have upset me..but equally, since I am not being told who they are, only that they are, I think it only fair to let them realise that Fran has a long memory..I am not instinctively vindictive, quite the contrary.. but I am an emotional person who will not allow people to trample over me or my friends..

And thanx ladyd...Fran will hang in there.. I would much rather be what I hope is a good friend than an enemy to anyone... its how I was brought up..and its what I believe... there is enough bitterness and strife in the world without me being the cause of any more.. justifiably or otherwise.

I did get a message from someone, doesnt matter who, who told me to hang in there also in essence, and not let things get to me too much.. she was just glad to see that of late I have been returning to the Fran I once was after a long period of turmoil.. and that is just what I am trying to do.. trouble is as someone else said to me yesterday on the fone...try and not do it so fucking hyper...

So thanks to you all. You know the score, and I would appreciate if we can all now just get on with our lives on (and off) site. luff yas!

[darkeyes]

I am sorry to resurrect this thread.. I really had hoped that I could put it to bed but sadly I cant. For the last few days I have heard little from my friend and that is ok except for a couple of messages which made me fear the worst...

My fears were realised this morning when I was told that really there was no point to us contining our relationship. Now I know all too well that in many ways my opinions and attitudes, my feelings can cause real problems for both myself and those for whom I care most, and I will be honest enough to admit that some of it I have to hold my hands up and bear some responsibility for our personal difficulties.

However, friends will always have problems and issues, and it is a sign of their closeness how they resolve them.. they talk..they argue, and if need be beg to remain friends... I am not beyond a bit of grovelling if it means retaining my friendships, but thankfully have been spared that because she cares for me also and would not allow me to humiliate myself.

The catalyst of our problem is not our differences, for we do and will always have them, but the selfish vindictive interference of which I have referred to earlier in the thread, who tried to put sufficient doubt in her mind as to my sincerity and affection. I am and can be bitchy...but I am true to my friends and those I love and will not have my motives questioned. She is deeply hurt by all this, and I dont feel too great about it myself. What Im intensely grateful for is the sheer volume of affection and shock which has come my way from you lot... and I know she will be also, for she deserves your affection also, though for now she prefers to keep her side of it in the dark.

After a morning of arguing, talking, crying and clearing the air, I am ever so happy to tell you we have saved our friendship. Whether we can remain as close as we were remains to be seen. Things have been said which has put strain on it, by us and other clowns, people who I will never be able to forgive. But for now I am just overjoyed that what we have is saved. My only hope is that we can keep it so..but that is substantially up to me.

What is sad though, is that I am unsure if we shall see her again in .com. I hope I am wrong, for I believe more people care for her than she appears to believe. I am proud to have her as my friend and shall ever be so.

Whats happened to us will no doubt happen to others by mealy mouthed selfish nasty people. My advice to them is find someone else's life to try and wreck... preferably your own..and not people I love and care for.

Sorry..rephrase...slightly..you probably have wrecked your life..leave the rest of us alone!!!

PS An 2 me m8s...don keep the thread goin...no matta wot me gnna say no more...think peeps knows zactly how me feels..an most of ya..me knows yas as appalled as we r.... an ta for ya luff.. it came wen it wos mos needed...