Too Nice, Too Willing to Help.... just can't say NO :-)

[deletetacount123]

lol
I think it finally caught on at work that Im not a person that says no easily.
If Im asked to work a shift on my day off, Im like "Ok." even tho a large part of me was like "nooooooooo!! Sheesh" lol

Im such to nice :) to nice to say no!!!
Anyone else here like that??

I actually had people tell me I seriously need a surgery to have a mean bone put in my body lol

Ah well... now I have work on Saturday... facing a bunch of rude grumpy people .... what did I get myself into??? *shakes head and wanders off*

Its not a lie when I say Honestly gets me in trouble..... I get myself in trouble with me at times.... at least this time I didn't call myself stupid like I usually do....

Tasha

[Enoll]

I've been like that for as long as I can remember, only just recently starting to fight it. Part of it for me comes from being naturally shy and quiet, therefore just going along with things that other people want.
Finding the courage to say no to things really gives you a confidence boost.
You don't have to be mean, you just have to know what you want.

The more controll you have over your life, the better you'll feel later looking back on things, you'll be able to say "well, that was stupid, but it was a choice I made, not someone else.", or something to that idea.

I've also just noticed I don't pre-think my posts, I just improvise as I go along, ending up at some dead end... heh. I'll stop now or I'll be going on for pages.

[LoveLion]

I used to be like that alot, Until I started to force myself to say "no" sometimes, but I always feel bad despite. Beign able to thing up excuses on your toes is a good talent to possess in those situations. But, hey, there are much worse traits then not being able to say no.

[Solomon]

lol
I think it finally caught on at work that Im not a person that says no easily.
If Im asked to work a shift on my day off, Im like "Ok." even tho a large part of me was like "nooooooooo!! Sheesh" lol

Im such to nice :) to nice to say no!!!
Anyone else here like that??

I actually had people tell me I seriously need a surgery to have a mean bone put in my body lol

Ah well... now I have work on Saturday... facing a bunch of rude grumpy people .... what did I get myself into??? *shakes head and wanders off*

Its not a lie when I say Honestly gets me in trouble..... I get myself in trouble with me at times.... at least this time I didn't call myself stupid like I usually do....

Tasha

uumm Tasha?? don't look, but ya just said NO! hehehee!! :bigrin:

[biwords]

Manuel Smith's book When I Say No, I Feel Guilty is the classic book on this subject and on its remedy, assertiveness training. Here's the Amazon link:

http://www.amazon.com/When-Say-No-Feel-Guilty/dp/0553263900/ref=pd_bbs_2/104-1333615-0999155?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1177599157&sr=8-2

[fortyniner1]

Hey Tasha! I know how you feel, girl, because I have done the same thing over and over, whether it be for work or for family and after a while, I became not so much depended on but someone they could USE to further what THEY wanted. It is altruistic to want to always be nice and helpful but one day and I think you may be there, the niceness of helping turns into a self-loathing and you can't have that. So my advice is to put a big NO in your head, and then when someone asks you to work another shift and you would rather do something else, pull out the NO and say very nicely, "Sorry I have plans". . ..You can still be the sweet, kind woman you are without the heavy guilt you may feel later for not doing what THEY want. I guess it may be a maturity thing, it was for me, and I know that when you are happier, everyone around you will be too. Just the crazy ramblings of a guy stuck alone in the woods with a Milky Way bar and a warm bottle of Diet Pepsi. ..lol. .. good luck!! :)

[deletetacount123]

lol thanks all :)

Ya, the lady yesterday asked sooooo nicely..... she tracked me down tho lol
I had finished my shift, walked quickly to the back room to get my purse and I hadn't even looked at the customer service desk...... Then Im heading out and shes walking towards me lol

I knew what was on the paper in her hand before she asked (she had written me a note to ask in cause I didn't understand her) I was like "maybe I can walk pass...." hehe

I didn't have plans on Saturday so thats why I said yes lol I was gonna just lazy around the house and rearrange some things in my collection in the living room.

Tasha

[Solomon]

lol sounds to me like they're the ones that have a fear of you saying no

[rockstarvomit]

I'm soooo like that! But I'm learning to say no! I've been taken advantage of too much recently - at work, by "friends", etc. and I'm finished with it! If you're going to be happy, I'm learning that you have to put yourself first!

[Herbwoman39]

I used to practice saying "NO!" Even if it was something I wanted I would say no just to have the practice under my belt. You've just got to decide that when you say no you mean just that.

Really you *did* have plans. Doing nothing is a plan whether it seems that way or not.

So...next time someone asks you to work on your day off, what are you going to say?

[deletetacount123]

I used to practice saying "NO!" Even if it was something I wanted I would say no just to have the practice under my belt. You've just got to decide that when you say no you mean just that.

Really you *did* have plans. Doing nothing is a plan whether it seems that way or not.

So...next time someone asks you to work on your day off, what are you going to say?

No cause Im busy :)

Ya, I have been saying No... there have been things I wanted lol and Im like "nope" If its BIG I think "ok, wherre can I put that..... honestly... theres no more room for BIG things unless I get rid of a couple things first.
Small things it depends why I want it lol
If its "just cause" then I say no to that :) Cause usually THOSE become a "what was I thinking?!?!" months later when you look at it and wonder why you bought it lol You didn't really need or want it... it just looked good to buy at the time.

To people.... I guess you should listen to the voice in your head... its funny how your mind can go "No way" but your voice says "ok" Then your mind goes "why did I say that?? ugh!!" lol
I think its bad to do that all the time tho.... then people start to auto assume "oh she'll be fine with that" even tho you may not be ok with that. lol