I want to do anal

[strawberry8302]

I'm a bi-curious female, and I want to be able to do anal sex with my boyfriend, but it hurts. We use lube, and I relax, but it still hurts. I can take small things in my ass, (like a pen, or a toothbrush handle) but I can't take the pain a penis brings when it's in there. What can I do to make anal sex more enjoyable?

[m.in.heels&hose]

Hello strawberry
you may want to keep using toys for anal and slowly use bigger toys until you can comfortably take a penis anally, and use plenty of lube!
it does take practice, and once you have reached your "comfort" level you will find it much more enjoyable!!!
GOOD LUCK
m.in.heels&hose :)

[zebby2]

Hi,

The best advice I ever got about anal was from the Maralyn Chamber Kama Sutra. Push out while you are being penetrated as if you were trying to empty you bowel, take planty of time and use plenty of lube. Be warm and relaxed. I often use large sex toys as part of masturbation and have had objects over 3 inches in diameter in my ass.

Stick with it. The plaesure is almost overwhelming

Let us know how you get on.

[strawberry8302]

Thanks, guys. I really appreciate the advice.

[Sparks]

I'm a bi-curious female, and I want to be able to do anal sex with my boyfriend, but it hurts. We use lube, and I relax, but it still hurts. I can take small things in my ass, (like a pen, or a toothbrush handle) but I can't take the pain a penis brings when it's in there. What can I do to make anal sex more enjoyable?

:2cents: The first question to yourself should be "Is this something I want to do, or is it because he want's to do it?" If anal sex is within your comfort zone, then the communication (and foreplay) between you and him will solve your problem.

If, however, this is something that he wants to do and you're uncofortable with, either physically or emotionally; then I'm here to tell you, angel, that there isn't enough lube on the planet to ease the discomfort you feel.

Start with the basics. . . you first. Then talk with him and work the solution out together. I hope this helps. Take good care.

[RebekaLee]

okay first off, you need to start off with drinking a lot of water.....a LOT OF WATER!!!! Then start off by fingering yourself with one finger for a couple of days.. then add two, then three....usually around three is when you get yourself loosened up! Um....then before anal sex, make sure you take a hot bath to relax your muscles.......and finger yourself in there........then make sure he gets you reallly relaxed down there if you know what i mean! Um....yea that should make it real good, and try it slow... the best lube to use is called eros.....it's not waterbased, but still healthy for you! You can find it at any gay store!!!!! Usually christys toybox does not carry it, but they can order it for you! Good luck with your anal experiences!!!!

[RebekaLee]

okay first off, you need to start off with drinking a lot of water.....a LOT OF WATER!!!! Then start off by fingering yourself with one finger for a couple of days.. then add two, then three....usually around three is when you get yourself loosened up! Um....then before anal sex, make sure you take a hot bath to relax your muscles.......and finger yourself in there........then make sure he gets you reallly relaxed down there if you know what i mean! Um....yea that should make it real good, and try it slow... the best lube to use is called eros.....it's not waterbased, but still healthy for you! You can find it at any gay store!!!!! Usually christys toybox does not carry it, but they can order it for you! Good luck with your anal experiences!!!!

btw, this was posted by my friend not me! i don't know ANYTHING about anal..lol

[strawberry8302]

Hi, Sparks! To answer your question, I do want to do anal sex for myself. I just envy the girls I see in pornos that can take dicks bigger than my boyfriend's up their ass, and I want to be able to do the same. I just want to be versatile in my sexual experience.

[mike9753]

Hi strawberry8302:

Follow the advice already given. Remember that there are many nerve endings in this area. That accounts for your snesitivity, but it also explains why people who get past the initial discomfort and pain (yes, at first thre is always some pain), really love it. Pushing, going very slowly, being sexually excited before, during and after are all the best advice, along with a high quality lube that you use often during anal play (some peopel use it at first and then don't add addition lube - that can be a mistake).

Keep trying, if it's truely your interest and have fun.

Mike

[Proteus1979]

I'm a bi-curious female, and I want to be able to do anal sex with my boyfriend, but it hurts. We use lube, and I relax, but it still hurts. I can take small things in my ass, (like a pen, or a toothbrush handle) but I can't take the pain a penis brings when it's in there. What can I do to make anal sex more enjoyable?


Ugh, maybe you should forget trying it if it hurts so much.

[nikid19]

I'm a bi-curious female, and I want to be able to do anal sex with my boyfriend, but it hurts. We use lube, and I relax, but it still hurts. I can take small things in my ass, (like a pen, or a toothbrush handle) but I can't take the pain a penis brings when it's in there. What can I do to make anal sex more enjoyable?
what I did was take a little bit in at a time when it hurts just tell him to stop but dont have him pull out then when it stop hurting tell him to go again. and just keep on doing that it. worked for me

[jabgic]

My first anal experience was absolutely wonderful. It was with a gay man who happened to be a doctor. He spent a very long time massaging my ass and stretching me. He said to be sure and stretch the anus toward the posterior (back), not the front (that is toward the tail bone not the penis or vagina which ever the case may be). use lots of lube and add more lube as you go. This doctor friend of mine was able to loosen me up and fuck me with out me feeling any pain useing this technique. the key is relax, go slow and use lots of lube in preparation and during intercourse. I hope this helps :bibounce:

[upones]

ok so u want to do anal the way i always start is to have my patner sit and i lower myself down on his cock as slow or as fast as comfortable yes some pain will occur until u are fully engaged then relaxation will take over and enjoyment begins also i see now they have inflatable dildos that may make ur experience easierundefined

[Peaches6927]

Hey Strawberry, the first thing u need to do is go out and buy this lube that is called anal ease. It is a lube that numbs your ass hole. Then u need to use a clit vibe. Once you start this process it will help you in being able to take a dick in ur ass. I have been doing anal for 10yrs and that is how i started out. Now i dont need anything to take it up the ass. But myself personal love to masterbate while I am being anal fucked. I hope my advice will help you out babygirl. So take care and good luck. :tongue: Peaches

[mike9753]

After taking all our advice, then next thing you need to do is tell us all about it!
Mike

[kcunderwhere]

I bought a "butt plug" (after all, that is what it is for!)...you can start slow and narrow, and as you relax and get used to it, you can go thicker. I actually would sit on it for an hour on end, gradually (and slowly) pushing it deeper while reading the paper, etc. It sounds silly to be doing this outside of actually doing it for sexual pleasure, but think of it like working out to prepare for sex. Once you have it in, keep it for awhile, get used to the sensations. Practice, use lots of lube, and go easy!

Once you think you are ready, go slow again, and have your BF lie down while you sit on him - that way you control the entry. It is a very, very wonderful thing once you can do it comfortably. Remember - it should never, never be painful!

[tom_uk]

I can take small things in my ass, (like a pen, or a toothbrush handle)

omg what are you thinking strawberry - a toothbrush handle - thats not nice girl!, you need clean teeth - no wonder people get hep c from toothbrushing x x x can I borrow a pen please

[DÆMØN]

Anal Pleasure and Health by Jack Morin, Ph.D.
Down There Press, paperback, 192 pages, 1998

Recommended by countless sex experts, including Susie Bright, Isadora Alman, Dan Savage and Betty Dodson.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0940208202/102-5178599-8958503?v=glance

An excellent adittion to your *sex files* book collection.

[DÆMØN]

It is a lube that numbs your ass hole.

huh? numb ??? You don't want it numb ! You want lubed & relaxed... if you took the proper technique and learned to relax your spincters there won't be any real pressure/pain involved whatsoever. Numbing isn't recommended since the whole point is to enjoy the sensations that range from rimming around the opening to eventual penetration... and for SAFETY's sake you need to be able to feel if theres any thing wrong so you know to stop to prevent possible damage... I strongly recommend you purchase a copy of Anal Pleasure & Health: A Guide for Men and Women by by Jack Morin PH.D http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0940208202/102-5178599-8958503?v=glance

[Lorcan]

I have a question. Is there anything that changes the experience from "The pleasure is almost overwhelming" to just like a massage. This a confession that my partner will probably read, but here goes anyway:

My first experience with anal I was completely drunk, but the pleasure was overwhelming. My other experiences were with my true love that i met 11 years ago... and they just felt like a massage...mildly stimulating at most and i have to stimulate my clit to get off. So naturally i've tried getting drunk before, but i don't think that's it. Could it be the novelety of it the first time? Just my mental state?

[kenny]

While I have not had an actual penis in my ass, (fantasy still), I have had several objects. My ex gf had me try a chilled Corona bottle then a chilled Korbel bottle. The key was to be totally comfortable and relaxed. If you tense up at all it wont work. I ended up sitting on the Korbel bottle opening my up about 3 inches, no problem. When I tried it and got tense, it hurt too bad. You HAVE to be totally relaxed. Also, when I did get it all the way in, I had no lubricant of any kind. It just wentin real easy.

[mike9753]

While I have not had an actual penis in my ass, (fantasy still), I have had several objects. My ex gf had me try a chilled Corona bottle then a chilled Korbel bottle. The key was to be totally comfortable and relaxed. If you tense up at all it wont work. I ended up sitting on the Korbel bottle opening my up about 3 inches, no problem. When I tried it and got tense, it hurt too bad. You HAVE to be totally relaxed. Also, when I did get it all the way in, I had no lubricant of any kind. It just wentin real easy.

BE careful with any glass product in your ass. The heavier glass of a champagne bottle is probably less dangerous than a Corona bottle but it is still dangerous. My sister-in-law is an ER nurse and has seen a number of horrible accident where men were admitted with glass fragments in their anus as a result of just this type of experimentation.

As an aside, people seem to put all sorts of things up their butts. My sister-in-law tells a Christmas story of a fellow came in with Christmas tree lights in his butt. It was a very painful extraction.

Mike

[strawberry8302]

To answer you, Tom from UK: I don't use the same toothbrush in my mouth that I stick up my ass, that would be stupid; not to mention disgusting. I'm not a shit eater, so I have my limits.

To everyone else: I really appreciate your feedback. There's still a problem. I can't relax during anal penetration. That's why I think numbing my asswhole would be the best thing to do until I can take the pain. I've tried being aroused while my boyfriend tries to insert his dick, but as soon as he puts it in the anus area, i get turned off, like there's a switch that turns off my clit, or my clit just shuts down. That is why it's so hard for me to solve this problem.
I haven't been able to try you guys' advice yet, because we both work, and we don't live together. But we will soon, when we get some time alone.

Thanks again, guys.

[arana]

:2cents: I haven't said anything before this because it's not something I'm very knowledgable about but maybe this is just not your thing Strawberry. It sounds a little like you're trying too hard. Maybe smaller is all you'll be able to handle....at least till your more comfortable with it. If you're having that much pain with it you're just going to end up hurting yourself. Don't force yourself to enjoy something if it doesn't please you. :2cents:

:tong:

[Mrs. Taz]

I agree with some of what everyone has said, but I mainly agree with arana, if you cant handle the pain you dont need to hurt yourself cause its never going to be any fun for you, just painful. my advice, dont do it.sorry


kitten

[friendlyfun18]

Hi Strawberry Sweetie!

If you cannot relax with you boyfriend, make it a priority to at least relax alone while playing with your delicious ass (using toys, one two three fingers, whatever). Once you have become an expert, bring the boyfriend back in.

P.s. Tell him you are in training. Tell him what you did. Call him on the phone at work to tell him you are going for train for a while. He will go beserk!


:)

[strawberry8302]

I have given this a lot of thought, and I have decided that for right now, I don't want to participate in any anal activities. Thanks to everyone for all your advice.

[okto05]

I am bi. I do it with guys up the ass and also let my girl do me because I do her up the ass it is a lot of fun so get over it

[strawberry8302]

I am bi. I do it with guys up the ass and also let my girl do me because I do her up the ass it is a lot of fun so get over it

To okto05: Please do not judge me because anal does not feel the same way to me as it does to you. Everyone is different, that's why we are who we are. By posting this forum, I asked for advice, not criticism. If you don't have any advice, please do not post anything. Thank You.

[nubiwoman]

To okto05: Please do not judge me because anal does not feel the same way to me as it does to you. Everyone is different, that's why we are who we are. By posting this forum, I asked for advice, not criticism. If you don't have any advice, please do not post anything. Thank You.

WOW.. good on you girl, you tell 'em!.. with self respect like that you should have the world eating out of your hands...

:female: .. respect :bigrin: :cool:

julie xx

[bigregory]

Most of the coments here are in the right direction.
Relax,lube,warm up with fingers and toys,drink some wine or?,maybe smoke a joint if your into that,light some candles,relax,relax.
Spend an hour getting a bum massage,matbe after a bit get him to ease in a finger,then your so relaxed he can try two.
Did i say relax.
There should be no pain.
Good luck

[strawberry8302]

WOW.. good on you girl, you tell 'em!.. with self respect like that you should have the world eating out of your hands...

:female: .. respect :bigrin: :cool:

julie xx

Thanks, nubi! The one thing I love about this site is that everybody is so supportive. When I ask them for advice, they give me their honest opinion. It may not be what I want to hear, but they still take the time to give me their comments. That doesn't mean that they have to be nasty about it. I've posted several questions, and people may have had a negative response, but they still served it to me in a classy way. THOSE ARE THE PEOPLE I RESPECT. To everybody: Thanks so much for your support and understanding in my posts. That is the reason why I got upset with oobi. We're not here to judge anyone, only to help.

[okto05]

To okto05: Please do not judge me because anal does not feel the same way to me as it does to you. Everyone is different, that's why we are who we are. By posting this forum, I asked for advice, not criticism. If you don't have any advice, please do not post anything. Thank You.


Sorry, I did not mean any harm, at first it was strange to me,but then but now is fun you are correct. If you don't like it that is ok . So have a good time with what makes you feel free and happy


." Chris okto05"

[CuteGeorgiaBoy]

I love receiving anal.
I do prefer to control the initial entry. No man will ever complain about you holding onto his cock, especially if you're in the process of slipping it into yourself. I go slow and take as long as I need. It drives them wild.
Strap-on girls enjoy the wait as well. It builds anticipation and they really get into it (so to speak).

:flag2:

[couple4fun2723]

hey strawberry, my bf is always asking for anal and until recently i always said no. i had tried it b4 and it hurt like hell. but as many people have said already prep your self. i usually use my smooth dildo and lube it up first. i leave it in for about 5 minutes stretching my hole out. and it works like a charm and of course i have to relax, cause if i tense up it hurts as if i didnt do any preping at all. if you want to have anal like you said, do this everyday for as long as it takes for you to be comfortable with it going in. (if you can get a rough textured toy it makes it more life like it) now all i do is prep for a minute b4 my bf and i have sex and its getting better each time we do it. so take the advice everyone is giving and prep your body for it. cause in the long run you'll love it. :bibounce:

[biketech]

my wife has used a strapon on me several times and we have had to do so starting small and going bigger. she really loves to take me from behind. it gets better each time and we can go a little larger each time. i'm glad she is open minded enough to try. remember lube!!!!!!!

[altbinary]

The best preperation foe ana is a lot if rimming. The best lube is semen.

[topman4444]

hi there just want to say you need to relax and be turned on more than ever. and think really dirty thoughts,use loads of lube and enjoy the pain with pleasure.have your partner play with you or use a toy for your pleasure,you need vaginal stimulation aswell.then it will come to be so easy for you and then you will do it more.good luck

[strawberry8302]

Thanks for your advice guys! But Im trying to figure out how to relax. If I'm already horny, and as soon as a penis enters my anal area, i tense up and I lose my horniness (if that's a word). I just cant for the life of me figure out how to relax.

[billy_campbell]

Some links to anal sex:

Advanced Anal Sex Techniques - http://www.sexuality.org/l/incoming/aanal.html

Ten Rules of Anal Sex - http://www.sexuality.org/authors/morin/analrule.html

Anal Sex - http://www.sexhealth.org/bettersex/anal.shtml

RELAX, RELAX, RELAX... http://tperkins.com/anal/painless.html#relax