Are you In or Out? [Archive]

DiamondDog

Apr 20, 2007, 2:44 AM

I'm out to my parents, aunt, and other relatives and my close friends.
I don't have a partner but I tell people I date that I'm queer.
I've known for most of my life that I'm bi.

Let's just say I was really young when I first started doing stuff with guys.
No, it wasn't molestation or force or anything like that I was just naturally exploratory.

biwords

Apr 20, 2007, 5:00 AM

Out to:

my wife,
her gay brother,
the brother's boyfriend,
my gay male cousin,
my family doctor,
a co-worker (who to my surprise responded by telling me that she had had a number of relationships with women)
(naturally) other bi people I've met at events here in Toronto.
one close male friend of over 30 years' standing

Known I was bi since age 12.

Solomon

Apr 20, 2007, 5:28 AM

i'm both... in and out :bigrin:

Chief8_2

Apr 20, 2007, 5:47 AM

I'm not out to anyone and I've known I was bi since I was 15. Somday I'd love to come out of that closet.

matterinhand

Apr 20, 2007, 6:20 AM

Out to partner. Not only is she happy with it she finds it arousing.
Have told her kids but not in a 'sit down this is serious' way so don't know if they believe me.
Out to both my ex's now but I wasn't when I was with them. (First one ended up having a gay relationship for about 4 yrs, second has tried it but as part of a 3som and can't get the woman on her own to try 121.)
Would NEVER have been out to my parents, but think they suspected anyway.
Wouldn't tell my sibling because it would cause more problems than it would solve.
Not out at work, too macho an environment.

Known, but not practising, I'm bi since about the age of 12.

Azrael

Apr 20, 2007, 6:27 AM

I'm out to most of my friends, and a few family members. For the most part, I'm still in. Especially at school and work. There's one girl in my class that knows, and one or two people at work. The only time I've been truly out is when I was going manic, and it wasn't like I was running around screaming it, I just wasn't afraid.

Seigun

Apr 20, 2007, 6:46 AM

I've known I was bi since I was about 13.
I'm out to very close friends of mine (all of about 3). I tried to come out to my mom, but she shoved me back in, to put it plainly. :tong:

I'm not out at school, or work, or any other place where it would possibly affect my daily life negatively. This doesn't really bother me, as I don't really want random people in these places knowing much about my personal life, anyway.

Solomon

Apr 20, 2007, 10:18 AM

okokok.. so i'm out to flex, and one other guy we met through this site...
that's it... nobody else really wants or needs to know currently

meteast chick

Apr 20, 2007, 10:28 AM

I'm out to:

my mom
my stepdad
my sister
all my female friends
my myspace page
my soon to be ex husband
my lawyer
people at work that I feel comfortable telling

I'm not out to:
my dad(he'd disown me but will know if he needs to)
my brother(we don't get along much, don't see the point)
various other relatives
all my coworkers

I'm sure more people know than I've told, and that's okay with me!

luv and kisses,
xoxoxoxoxoxo
meteast

s_shunpike

Apr 20, 2007, 10:54 AM

I feel I have a unique opportunity in my life.

I am out to my wife, don't hide the conversation from my youngest daughter (my oldest two live in Iowa), a couple of friends, etc.

My opportunity has come, I am moving from the small one horse simple minded town that I currently live in back to St. Louis.

My boyfriend lives there (see my thread) and I have an opportunity that I could only dream of - being out from the get go.

There still remains some exceptions to the rule:

My two older kids - they will get it one day, but raised by their mother who is very narrow minded. Given time they will know and understand.

My mother - she would never get it, would take it as a personal afront. Already thinks I am the black sheep - so maybe......

My wife's mother and step-father - So far right wing it would make your nose bleed - would NEVER understand

That's pretty much about it. Our (my wife and I) have a personal philosophy of don't flaunt it, but don't hide it. You don't run up to someone and yell, I am bi! On the other hand, if they ask - I simply won't deny it.

ohbimale

Apr 20, 2007, 10:55 AM

I have known I am bisexual since I was 12. I have always been turned on by both sexes.

I am not out to parents and sister. I got sent to psychological counseling and put on drugs at 12 for having sex with a member of the same sex and age. That caused a deep wound at that young age. I am not sure I could ever come out to them.

I came out to a few close friends. They were ok with it. When I came out to wife she did not take it well and four plus years ago stopped having sex with me.

It took a long time, but I finally am comfortable with myself to say without hestitation I am bisexual if someone asks.

So as stated by others I am out to select few people. :male:

jedinudist

Apr 20, 2007, 12:20 PM

I guess my philosophy on this is simply that I am "out". I have to agree with s_shunpike though:

don't flaunt it, but don't hide it. You don't run up to someone and yell, I am bi! On the other hand, if they ask - I simply won't deny it.

My wife knew about my sexual history (I am Bisexual, but I didn't identify with being bisexual. Couldn't see the forest for the trees) from day one. It was her that helped me finally accept my orientation and helped me come out last year.

I "came out" online as well as in the real world. Any one who knows me and googles my name will run across my own coming out statements sprinkled around the internet, as well as two articles in the washington blade that mention me by name and identify me as being bisexual.

I came out directly to a few people including our son, my mother (that didn't go well), my best friends, etc. I don't run around announcing my orientation, but I don't hide it anymore either. The only time I wouldn't reveal it is if I thought it really is none of the business of the person asking or if the environment is too dangerous for me to reveal myself as a bisexual man.

I don't think my father, step mother, half brother, or half sister knows. Since I gave my father up for dead (deadbeat dad) and we only started talking again at the funeral of my grandmother, I did not see discussing my orientation as being important at the time.

My full sister knows, and my step brothers know (they all stopped talking to me because of it).

As for how long I've been this way? All my life. I started feeling attracted to both genders at the same time when I was really young. I never really felt attracted to one or the other first. I have felt this way ever since I first started feeling any attraction at all.

erotix

Apr 20, 2007, 1:05 PM

So, in your case, were you having sex with others when you told your wife? And so she stopped have sex with you to avoid STDs?

Or is the NO SEX a reaction to her dislike of your sexuality? If you are not having sex with her, what is keeping you together? Are you close in other ways? Are you sexually active with others and is she okay with that?

Where do you go from here?

I have known I am bisexual since I was 12. I have always been turned on by both sexes.

I am not out to parents and sister. I got sent to psychological counseling and put on drugs at 12 for having sex with a member of the same sex and age. That caused a deep wound at that young age. I am not sure I could ever come out to them.

I came out to a few close friends. They were ok with it. When I came out to wife she did not take it well and four plus years ago stopped having sex with me.

It took a long time, but I finally am comfortable with myself to say without hestitation I am bisexual if someone asks.

So as stated by others I am out to select few people. :male:

Herbwoman39

Apr 20, 2007, 1:12 PM

I have only been consciously aware that I am bisexual for a little over two years. However, once I accepted this part of my life and looked back, I realized I have been bi since about the age of 8 or 9.

I am out to all my friends, husband, children and the younger son's girlfriend (now ex gf) . I am not out to in-laws because it's none of their business. I am not out to my half sisters because they are fundamentalist Christian and I am not out to my parents because over the last two years the timing has never been right. Every time I plan on telling them something happens like my grandmother dying or my parents divorcing.

Fire Lotus

Apr 20, 2007, 1:21 PM

Like others have said, I'm out but I don't flaunt it.

My close family, husband and friends know.....and anyone else, depending on the circumstances.

sexybicplinwv

Apr 20, 2007, 2:35 PM

Like others have said, I'm out but I don't flaunt it.

My close family, husband and friends know.....and anyone else, depending on the circumstances.
I have been in and out,lol :) There has been time's that i could not show this side of myself. And how i wish that i had been myself :female: :tong:

deletetacount123

Apr 20, 2007, 3:23 PM

How many are out to your friends, partner or spouse?

How many still keeping it close to the vest?

Male or female.. and how long have you known you were bi or curious?

Im out to most people. Just friends and family I choose..... but knowing my mother, Im sure more people know about me than I think.

I usually hint it and let people figure it out themselfs hehe if they are uncertian then they can ASK.

Im a female and I have always known Ive liked women since I was 12. :)

DeafF2M

Apr 20, 2007, 4:34 PM

Heh... I'm out and out and out....

I first came out at 19, first as bi and then lesbian.

At age 32, I came out as transgendered and also kinky.

At age 34, i came out again as bisexual.

Most folks know. Those that don't will eventually find out.. I guess I "flaunt" it. LOL

:bibounce:

Abbey Road

Apr 20, 2007, 5:00 PM

I`m out to my close friends & the regulars at my local. I`m out to the girls I work with (I work at a hospital so only 3 men work there).
I`m not out to my family as they very old fashioned & would go nuts.
I`ve known I`m bi since I was 10.
As I live in a very small town where everyone knows each other it won`t be long before everyone knows. :bibounce: :paw:

SusurrrusIgnoramus

Apr 20, 2007, 5:21 PM

I'm male, I've just recently realized that I'm Bi. I've questioned on some level for a good part of my life, but only seriously in the last few months. My girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me a few weeks ago, and I had my first experience with a guy last week, which sort of cemented my bi-sexuality. I'm out to most of my friends, but my ex doesn't know, nor do my parents.

TaylorMade

Apr 20, 2007, 7:15 PM

The closet door is cracked open enough that anyone can find out if they care to look.

Most don't.

And that's coo'.

*Taylor*

tink1978

Apr 20, 2007, 8:03 PM

I am out to all and dont flaunt it but dont deny it

I became interested in women before guys.

yewtahjim

Apr 20, 2007, 8:39 PM

I thought the first 7 years of my being sexually active, I was gay...in other words nothing but male after male after male....then at 16 a very sweet and sensitive 46 year old lady took me to bed and taught me that there is a lot more to living and loving and good sex than just a hard cock....so from that eventful day so many years ago..I be bi...and those who need to know, do....

BarefootGuy

Apr 20, 2007, 9:28 PM

My wife and I are both out to each other, and we're both out to a very select group of friends - other than that we don't share unless people really want to know...

bohemian69

Apr 21, 2007, 12:26 AM

I am only out to my wife, although I have a feeling my 2 oldest children ( 18 & 19) probaly have a good idea.
Looking back, I was always bi, I was just to naive to realize what I was.

jamisonjohn

Apr 21, 2007, 1:15 AM

I'm 'IN" and sorry to say do not see myself coming out. Of course, I am new to this so that may be a factor. I do know my wife would freak if she ever expected that I am interested in a relationship with another man. So, to keep the home front quiet, I'm not going to say anything to her.

shadowsaffinity

Apr 21, 2007, 1:27 AM

i've been out to my partner for about 4 years, out to my mom about half a year, out to my queer friends about 4 years, out to my straight friends about half a year, out to my brother about a week.

my partner & i realized i was bi together so that made coming out to him very easy.

i'm also out to some coworkers, just a few i can trust not to say anything.

BreeIsMe

Apr 21, 2007, 11:06 AM

I am only out to select friends.

My family is next but I don't know exactly when I will be able to tell them but breaking the news that you are bisexual is one thing.....
that you are "transgendered" is a whole different issue...

Bree

midwestseeker

Apr 21, 2007, 11:13 AM

Great idea for a thread! Very simple and very informative idea.

I'm out to no one unfortunatly.

My best friend (who's female) "kind of" knows, although we just admitted we fantasize about the same gender sometimes; I wanted to tell her "how much" i do, but i coudnt do it. I dont think she'd care though. Still, its just a big step.

I tried to tell my last girlfriend, but the information i gave her didnt go over very well, and she really pulled away from me. It broke my heart.

As for how long Ive known? I started having the thoughts in my early teens, but I didnt really fully realize it until i turned 21 or so.

Plank70

Apr 22, 2007, 10:36 AM

A few people know about me, but they're bi/gay also, so I guess that kinda doesnt count.

but I heard a phrase once and I think that that describes me best. When asked when he came out of the closet, his response was he "never came out of the closet, the closet just shrank with time" .

I can relate to that. As I learn, understand, and accept my bisexuality, I am becoming more comfortable with myself and therefore my closet is shrinking. I feel that one day I will be out and comfortable with myself, but it will not be in one big step.

scot1

Apr 22, 2007, 12:45 PM

i guess i am out

Dr.StrangeLove

Apr 22, 2007, 12:49 PM

I don't know who in my life knows, but I am honest to anybody about it, so I guess that makes me out.

Dr.StrangeLove

Apr 22, 2007, 3:14 PM

I don't know who in my life knows, but I am honest to anybody about it, so I guess that makes me out.

...er...let me clarify...I am out to my wife, my brother, and several of my friends...its pretty clear to anybody who cares to look, but I don't really know who in my life actually knows beyond those few people. I first came out when I was nineteen to a couple of bi friends (one of whom is now my wife), so I guess its been five years. I really only began being totally open about it, though, in the last couple of years. :color:

SilverWulf

Apr 22, 2007, 3:37 PM

I've known I was bi since I can remember.

My wife knows, a select few friends know. As for anyone else, it's none of their business, and that includes family.

mtb0509

Apr 23, 2007, 1:37 AM

I'm male and I'm curious (my whole sexuality is a dilemma to me. I want to make out with a couple guys just to see what it's like, but anything more is off-limits. Oh and then you guys don't even wanna know how I get off or what it's to).

Anyways, I'm only out to one of my friends. But it's sad because he's one of my best friends but I don't even know him in real life. We've just been friends over the internet instant messaging each other for the past 5 to 7 years. I think he's one of the best friends I have, and since I don't know him in real life and he doesn't know anyone I know, I found it kind of easy to tell him (well at least easy compared to telling anyone I know IRL, but it was still hard). Luckily he's supporting me, hah though he does make fun of me occasionally for it, but it's all in good fun.

I was going to come out and tell one of my friends about my curiosity this weekend, but never got a chance. Sometimes I feel he might be a little curious himself, too, so I figured I'd give it a shot.

I would never ever ever consider coming out to my family. My mom seems open to it, but my dad is just completely right-wing republican anti-gay-marriage. I think he'd be accepting of it, but if I'm only curious and don't plan on going very far with another man, why tell anyone but just a few close friends?

Oh and I guess I should add I've only known since I was about 17 or 18. I'm a late bloomer with this whole puberty thing :/ (I'm a little over 20 right now).

Daniel1395

Apr 23, 2007, 4:54 AM

I’m 19 years old and known I am bisexual for about three years now, I’m out to pretty much all my friends, my mum, my dad, my sister and from my dads side of the family I am out to my grandparents and also I’m out on my myspace profile.

I’m not out to my grandparents or aunties, uncles and cousins etc on my mums side of the family because mum says they would not take it too well and they might not ever want to see me again but I will have to tell them eventually.

And as another member said if people I don’t know ask I will tell them but most people don’t ask so they don’t know.

Kuragxo

Apr 23, 2007, 9:25 AM

Out to my partner,
one of my step daughters,
To a number of friends, and
my ex.

Enoll

Apr 23, 2007, 9:30 AM

Acouple of my friends know.
My girlfriend knows and afew of her freinds.
And ofcourse, the internet knows.
Plus I'm sure some of the adult shop workers around the area know. :tong:

DiamondDog

Apr 23, 2007, 1:34 PM

my family doctor

Yeah I'm out to my doctor too, she told me how I should do more BDSM since it's very safe. :)

the sacred night

Apr 23, 2007, 1:52 PM

I'm out to pretty much everyone here at college, but my family back home doesn't know except for a few people- my sister, my bi cousin, one str8 cousin, and one cousin who doesn't know what her orientation is.

genera101.2

Apr 23, 2007, 8:14 PM

Wow, I just came out to my best friend last night. We were talking about sex and some of the groups I belong too. Hours later she was telling me some of her sexcapades, which included girl-girl action. I relayed some of mine and then she just blurted the question if I had ever had sex with a guy. Momentarily I thought do I say something and then I thought, f**k it and said yes, then went on with what I was talking about. I think in her silence things may have started making sense. I had to cut the conversation due to work, and now I wonder if we’re still friends. Some people don’t take it well.

twodelta

Apr 24, 2007, 12:30 AM

The only place where I make a consciece effort to be IN, is at work. My workplace is a very conservative, right-wing enviroment. There is nobody there that I want to have a relationship or sex with, so it's simply none of there business. To the rest of the world, I'm out to anyone who wants or needs to know. For as early in my life as I can remember, I've always been "attracted" to both guys and gals equally. :three: - Dave

ohbimale

Apr 24, 2007, 2:00 AM

So, in your case, were you having sex with others when you told your wife? And so she stopped have sex with you to avoid STDs?

Or is the NO SEX a reaction to her dislike of your sexuality? If you are not having sex with her, what is keeping you together? Are you close in other ways? Are you sexually active with others and is she okay with that?

Where do you go from here?

When the stuff hit the fan with the wife I was not having sex with others. I don't have any STD's, but she does. Her reponse to the revelation and her questions about her own sexuality was to have sex with others. Now she has genital herpes. I think the fact that we still lover each other is what has kept us together this long.

There is an unspoken agreement on her part. She still has at least one sex partner I know of. I have one now too.

It sounds really messed up, but somehow it just works for us. :male:

BicuriousWA

Apr 26, 2007, 11:56 PM

I'm in. Way, way in. I have no idea who I could ever confide this to or how I will ever experience it. I have one close male friend that lives in another state and I would probably never hear from him again if he found out. My wife and extended family are homophobic. I feel like I've been bisexual since puberty, but suppressed the feelings because of the environment I grew up in. I love women but I definitely do feel a strong attraction to men. I have examined it from every angle and don't see any way to ever let this out. So..........I'll play the hand I've been dealt and keep doing what I'm doing.

Lisa (va)

Apr 27, 2007, 12:57 PM

[QUOTE=Cogent]How many are out to your friends, partner or spouse?

Now this is just my personal opinion, and some may say it to be a matter of symantics, but I prefer to say I'm not "out", just "open".
My family knows, husband, most if not all my friends (same with coworkers).
It's just something we don't spend a lot of time dwelling on. I just think it would be hard not to open if you are out on a date and run into someone you know. Because I have dated women as well as men before, it doesn't make me any better or any worse than someone who only dates one or the other. On a side note for the guys, yes I do realize that society makes it harder on men.

As to how long I have been bi, I suppose I was bi way long before I even was aware of the word.

Lisa

hugs n kisses

LoveLion

Apr 27, 2007, 1:31 PM

I am out

Cogent

Apr 27, 2007, 3:47 PM

Lovelion, If you really believed that nothing is black and white, you wouldn't say you were out... you'd have to say you were in and out... or grey. Lol

I am out

biwords

Apr 27, 2007, 4:15 PM

No, he wouldn't "have" to say it if nothing is black and white - ?

DuskTillDawn

Apr 27, 2007, 4:23 PM

I am out to one person( my best friend- straight female), hopefully more soon though!

I have aways been very confused about my sexuality. About 8 months ago I began to consider that I may be bi, since than alot of things in my past have found a place and confusion is drifting away.

afterdark75

May 21, 2007, 12:27 AM

Out to asll, much easier that way for me really. Plus it makes things much easier to get what I want.

BLUEGRASS BEAR

Aug 14, 2009, 5:31 PM

NOT OUT TO ANYONE AND DON'T SEE CHANGING THAT... IN THIS LIFE!

XOX:bipride:

mikey3000

Aug 14, 2009, 7:40 PM

I am out to those who matter; my wife (who is supportive and awsome), a few friends, and a few family members. I've recently learned that not everyone needs to know what goes on in my bedroom.:bigrin:

naughty'BI'chick

Aug 14, 2009, 9:46 PM

I'm out to most most people.
I've known I'm bi since I was 9 or 10

Jackal

Aug 14, 2009, 10:05 PM

Out to everyone if it comes up in context. Everyone who knows me knows. Anyone who wants to only need ask. I've known I liked girls since 12 (maybe before it's hard to tell) known I was bi since 14 or 15 and been out since I was 16.

Randypan

Aug 14, 2009, 11:48 PM

:male: Slowly coming out to family, children now know, parents, probably never. Have no friends so no problem there.

jeancarleo

Aug 15, 2009, 2:46 AM

i'm out to family and close friends since age 18. i knew i was bi since i can remember

bi bi baby

Aug 15, 2009, 6:47 AM

It's really nobody's business and I don't feel the need to share this, but here I am sharing. I did tell my wife of my past and she got turned on by it. That's the extent of my outness. Lucky to find you guys, since it feels good to express.

mooon

Aug 15, 2009, 12:41 PM

I'm only out to my wife and a few close friends.
Fortunately, she has been loving and understanding about it.

Unfortunately, being married and out seems to put off a lot of guys, especially the gay guys and the DL guys. But, I don't need the drama of the DL guys anyway.

I'm 58, and only came out to myself about three years ago.

Tom41bimwm

Aug 15, 2009, 2:20 PM

wife no idea that i still enjoy being with men. i've told a few friends that i trust and all have been cool about it. but most don't have a clue that i'm bi so i'm in to them!

imona42

Aug 15, 2009, 5:33 PM

Out to spouse and two female straight friends. I told my sister before she died and she was ok with it, so I might tell my four other brothers and one sister. My father is no longer living but I don't think telling my mom would make a difference in either of our lives; we are close, I know she wouldn't care

I've been bi ever since I can remember, however I made the mistake of never really persuing my sexuality until now. I hope that by me becoming more involved in this community, I will feel more comfortable with who I am and in my own skin.

XXOO

Bi_Druid

Aug 15, 2009, 5:40 PM

I'm out to who ever as the balls/guts/courage/etc to just ask (and obviously not be a dick about it, but even then, that's their problem).

I'll admit it took me some time originally to come out to those who'd known me before I'd eventually come out to myself, but now my general mode is as above, I'm out to whoever bothers to ask. If they don't ask, they obviously don't give a tinkers one way or the other.

JP1986UM

Aug 15, 2009, 6:47 PM

Out to the wife and some selected friends.

Soon the family physician will know.

I have dated a few men who weren't out, and it sucked having to change the topic of conversation on an instant.

It sucks to be out and know that others aren't or can't due to circumstance.

Part of life I guess.

BiphobiaFighter

Aug 15, 2009, 7:02 PM

I'm out to all members of my immediate family (as of about two months ago), all the friends that I see (beginning from over a year ago) and have been out to both of the partners I've had so far.

Everything went well. :)

bicowboy

Aug 15, 2009, 10:24 PM

Out to my wife who is just fine with it and had showed some interest in my bisexuality. As for the small town I live / work in NO! I seek bisexual friends outside of the town I live in which makes them hard to fine. I have been having same sex experiences off & on all my life with a twenty year gap until recently, I guess I'm in & out!...:cool:

eddy10

Aug 15, 2009, 11:10 PM

I am always out to anyone that asks. But, I do not volunteer the information unless asked.

Papelucho

Aug 16, 2009, 3:15 AM

I'm out to my family and friends, about 30 people in all, but I'm not out at work. I'm working on that. It would be good if I was out to everyone, especially in my day to day life.

Oh yeah, and I've been bi since 2004

Indaco76

Aug 16, 2009, 1:05 PM

I'm out to my partner (a lesbian woman), who is OK with me being bisexual.
I'm also out to most of my friends, some people at work and my sister.
I'm definitely NOT out to my parents and other relatives. It's not something I'm particularly comfortable with (being in the closet with them, that is), but they're just too conservative to understand this, much less accept it.
I lead a straight life up until two years ago and was even married for a year to my boyfriend of ten years, who, coincidentally, is now out as a gay man :-)
I've admitted to myself I was bisexual at around 25, when my attraction to a co-worker made it obvious to me that the strong feelings I'd always had for some women were not strictly confined to the realm of friendship. But I guess I've always been bi, just wasn't prepared to admit it to myself until the physical aspect became so prominent.

glansandlabia

Aug 25, 2009, 7:12 AM

I'm a bi MWM and my wife probably suspects it but its not accepted in my family plus I have three kids more important. I have told my cousin and she doesn't care plus she experimented in the past too

Lenore

Aug 25, 2009, 10:14 AM

Let's see, my boyfriend, my ex, and my very closest friends know. That is all of about 4 people. Lol

Lenore

Aug 25, 2009, 10:17 AM

Oh, and I've know since I was 14 years old. Never pursued anything with women because I was in a committed relationship for the last 15 years with my ex. (Dont do the math on that one, it's scarey! Lol)

fredtyg

Aug 25, 2009, 11:23 AM

My wife knows, although I think she's in denial as she comes from a very anti- homo family (despite having at least one lesbian for a sister, maybe two). In some ways she's kind of cool with it, though. She doesn't mind me stuffing dongs up my but and, the other day, I was thinking of buying some rainbow (pride) style undies and she didn't seem to have a problem with it.

Also, an ex brother in law, a lezzie sister in law, a nephew, a couple old female friends, a couple customers.

Probably an untold number of people I know or am familiar with. Years ago I solicited an old friend of mine for sex and, as I would of expected, he told everyone I propositioned him. I have no idea how many people he told, but no doubt everybody he and I used to work with.

I fagged off a bit as a kid but didn't even think of it as being homo or bi. It was just kids being kids. I probably realized I was homo in my late teens, early twenties, but I mostly denied it to myself. I think it was in my mid thirties I came to grips and finally felt comfortable with the fact that I'm at the very least bisexual, if not homosexual.

oral6

Aug 25, 2009, 11:32 AM

I'm not out as most freinds and spouse would not understand. I've known since I was 15 and had some encounters with a friend in high school.

csreef

Aug 25, 2009, 2:22 PM

I'm out to a very few friends & lovers

poserpo

Aug 25, 2009, 4:38 PM

ive only really admitted it to myself recently, a close female friend knows and she's cool, not admitting it to anyone else just yet....and to be honest, i don't think i'll ever admit it to my fiance, as she wouldnt understand

fredtyg

Aug 25, 2009, 5:24 PM

i don't think i'll ever admit it to my fiance, as she wouldnt understand

I suppose it's none of my business, but I don't know it's a good idea not to tell her since you might up spending your whole life with her. I figured once I got married I'd forget about guys and it wouldn't be a problem, but I didn't. It sucked having to hide that I'd be watching homo porn and any homo activities I'd get involved in.

I outed myself to the wife decades ago and, while she's pretty accepting of me doing homo stuff by myself, she's not accepting of me being with other guys. I even asked her a few years ago if she'd mind me having a boyfriend and she said, if I was to do that, we might as well get a divorce.

I'm philosophical about choices I've made in my life and figure things could have always turned out worse, but I do tend to think I might have been happier if I was up front about being homo from the beginning and tried to find someone more accepting of it, perhaps a gal who was bi.

But, it's for you to decide how big a place men have in your life. Maybe you're not like me where sexual desire for men is something you think about every day. In that case, maybe not telling her will work for you.:male::male:

handlebar

Aug 25, 2009, 9:57 PM

I came out to my wife last November and my brother in January. Then a few penpals and close snail mail friends. Been very liberating since. HUGE weights lifted off my shoulders.

My mother is next IF it ever comes up. SO far she has not asked but I have a suspicion she knows.

Jim

pixbasjay

Aug 27, 2009, 1:59 AM

Definitely not out. I live in a conservative area with conservative family surrounded by hundreds of conservative churches. I would at least someday like to tell my closest friends, but they are close to my family which in turn could cause a accident to occur and people to find out. That why I hope to find other bi-sexual/bi-curious friends somewhere so I have some sense of normality in my life.

lv69cpl69

Aug 28, 2009, 12:02 PM

only those who need to know, know. why tell the world anything I (we) do behind doors??????????

evilpanda

Aug 28, 2009, 11:09 PM

out out out. out to pretty much everybody i meet, work with, date, etc. it's pretty obvious, i'm androgynous, so i'm clearly either gay or bi. the only people i haven't told is extended family and my relatives older than 80. i wouldn't deny it, it just seems pointless to come out to some people at this point. but, overall, out and proud. its normal for me and i think anybody who has a problem with it - in 2009 no less - has a problem with themselves, not with me.