Gaydar?

[DuskTillDawn]

Hey,

Need some help here. Does anyone have any idea how you can tell if a person is not straight i.e. gay, lesbian or bi. Are there any tell tale signs atall that might indicate this?

Have any of you ever worked out a friend was not straight?? How did you do it? what were the give away signs?

Im partially asking this because Im curious about people around me and partially to look for signs in myself that other people might notice.

All help will be greatfully recieved

[DiamondDog]

Gaydar or bi-dar (some people have both like me) IMO is something that can't be taught, you either have it or you don't.

It has a lot to do with reading people and I don't mean just reading body language or mannerisms.

I have a heterosexual friend who is convinced that having gaydar or bidar is a type of telepathy and I'm rather inclined to agree with him.

I'm very good at just looking at someone and telling if they're gay/bi/queer I can even look at a picture sometimes and tell that way. I have no idea how I do it, I just know that I can.

[TashaSW]

For me its a on and off thing.

Sometimes I know cause of how someones acting.
But its a terrible thing to assume when you don't know for sure. its always best to ASK. Sure some people may be straight to the point on thier sexually, others might be shy and could give you either signals.

My best friend told me once she knew I was more into women cause of the way I would be looking at girls with interest while guys I didn't really care. She also reminded me it was how I acted in school. Which is funny how she knew cause I was pretty shy and "kept to myself" kind of girl.

I think the only way you can be 100% is to ask unless the persons openly out and tells everyone they are then you know.

The shy and quiet people like me, its always a safer idea to ask than assume :)

[Rogue]

Unless you just straight out ask then you can't realy tell.Also many people might have all the tell tale signs, but are in total denial.

[miamiuu]

A lot of times I notice, or pick up a different air or glow around the person. There is something different about them.

[innaminka]

Whatever it is - for some pople it exists.
I seem to have an intuition after meeting with someone only briefly that they are most likely gay/bi. I have about a 50% success rate.

However a lot of gay/bi people say I positively "glow" - I have no idea why as i do not wear "flags" I don't espouse my sexuality in any way and belive me I dress v conservatively.

Urban myth? I don't know, but there's something out there.......... It happens too often.

[happyjoe68]

gaydar/bi-dar sometimes works, sometimes it doesnt. The thing you need to look out for is whether what you think you see in someone else is really what you want to see in them. It can lead to some embarrassing situations ...

[biwords]

IMHO, gaydar/bidar works only in cases where there is something to observe. With respect to DiamondDog, I doubt very much that he could tell that I'm bi. Claims to telepathy, in this area at least, are likely to rest on very subtle observation of real clues, or lucky guesses.

[biwords]

Further thought re: people who claim gaydar based on telepathy; can they also divine someone's favorite song or financial net worth? :)

[macman885]

I think Gaydar is something either you have or you don't. It can't be learned. You can learn to pick up on certain signs (body language, speach characteristcs and such), but if those signs are not present then true gaydar kicks in. My gaydar is fairly accurate, I have only been wrong a few times, but I hve no bi-dar. Pretty sad considering I am Bi.

:flag2:

[TashaSW]

I think Gaydar is something either you have or you don't. It can't be learned. You can learn to pick up on certain signs (body language, speach characteristcs and such), but if those signs are not present then true gaydar kicks in. My gaydar is fairly accurate, I have only been wrong a few times, but I hve no bi-dar. Pretty sad considering I am Bi.

:flag2:

Ya I think thats what I do.... I learned to pick up on certain signs but I know my gaydar isn't as good as some people's Ive known.

[bm_jim]

Ya I think thats what I do.... I learned to pick up on certain signs but I know my gaydar isn't as good as some people's Ive known.

One of the funniest conversations I have had was with a close male friend, he was gay and was so sure he had the ultimate "gay-dar" and as we are talking about one of our co workers he used me as an example of straight, (I was not out to him), to explain that the co worker was definatly without question gay (I almost had to leave to go outside and laugh). The co-worker was married less than 6 months later. Then again, unless I really know you you could not tell I was bi, but I will admit, my very closest female friends have picked up on it (2 of them) but I don't think they are aware they are right. At least they haven't asked to confirm or deny. lol.

[DiamondDog]

IMHO, gaydar/bidar works only in cases where there is something to observe. With respect to DiamondDog, I doubt very much that he could tell that I'm bi. Claims to telepathy, in this area at least, are likely to rest on very subtle observation of real clues, or lucky guesses.

You don't have a pic of yourself.

Honestly, usually I know before the other person does or accepts that about themselves.

I can pick people out in crowded bars even if they say that they're heterosexual or homosexual but we'd call them bi.

[TaylorMade]

Don't have it. Oddly enough, my father, who is straight, has the best gaydar of anyone I know.

Most people don't have me pegged as bi... so I guess it evens out.

*Taylor*

[DiamondDog]

Don't have it. Oddly enough, my father, who is straight, has the best gaydar of anyone I know.

Most people don't have me pegged as bi... so I guess it evens out.

*Taylor*
LOL my mom has excellent gaydar too.
She'll pick up on people she doesn't even talk to or who I don't necessarily notice since they're not my type.

[Enoll]

I've had many people who claim to have gaydar tell me I'm 100% straight.

[AstroGlide]

Why don't you just walk up to them, tap them on the shoulder and ask, 'Are you gay?'. Or you could just ask, '
are you bisexual?'. Or you could just ask, 'Are you transgendered?'. What's wrong with that approach?

AstroGlide


(it's a joke son...)

[12voltman59]

With some people--it is pretty well obvious at first glance that they are gay --since they are pretty much a "queen"-and when I lived in Savannah--we had what I called "the pretty boys." They were almost always invariably blond, were good looking, dressed very well, had a certain manner of speech, walk, way of holding themselves, etc. and they held jobs like interior designers/decorators, hair designers and the like. It was kind of creepy that they all looked so much alike--as if they were clones or something...

My mom worked as a floral designer at an Ethan Allan Furniture store and all of the interior designers there were of this type and they knew all of the other "pretty boys" in town since Savannah is not that big of a place. They also tended to have a connection with similar types in Atlanta, Charleston, New Orleans and other places in the south.

In Key West there was a similar version of "pretty boys" too---but they had a slightly different look-and there were the leather wearing/Harley types too--I saw those in the San Fran area as well--they all seemed to be pretty hairy with the big handle bar moustaches and such---

But for those gays who did not fall into any kind of "style"--I have to say--I did not have any kind of "gaydar" at all!!!!

[wolfcamp]

I wonder if a person gives inadvertent clues, something they aren't conscious of. I am not out, and I'm rather straight looking, I think. I was at a bar one evening where bikers and boaters hang out. This isn't a place for gay or bi pickups. In fact, it might be a little risky to pursue that kind of action. I had only been there a few minutes when this guy sort of appears beside me and strikes up a conversation. Normally I am a little reserved about talking to strangers, but he had a very easy going manner and we talked for quite a while. To make a long story short, the guy hit on me.

I thought about it later, and I wondered why the guy zeroed in on me. I wasn't really looking to hook up with anyone that evening, especially a guy. Maybe it was because I didn't have on the standard weekend biker uniform, you know, the Harley t-shirt and black engineer boots. I was just in my blue jeans and weekend shirt, and I was minding my own business. Maybe I stood out because I didn't stand out. I don't know why the guy picked me, but it would be nice if I could duplicate that signal when I really wanted to.