Why am I curious???

[lickitall]

Can anyone who has been in my shoes (figure of speech) tell me why it is that now in my mid forties, I have this strong curiosity to want to try sex with a man? MM porn really turns me on as well as MF. Almost more so right now. Not affectionate (kissing and cuddling) but the oral and anal, jerking each other.
I just don't know why???
Any and all thoughts and ideas please?
A little history, I was approached by a gay man in a park when I was 16 who asked to suck my cock (his words) and I felt invaded by it, frightened, even went home and got some friends to go scare him away. No we did not hurt him in any way. That is just explaining my mentality then.
Now, at 44 I find myself cruising the same park, (know for gay activity) in hopes of witnessing some MM activity or even another encounter of my own.
Why?? I totally accept each and every persons personal preference sexually. Whatever it may be. That is my mentality now.
So, I understand a broadening horizons and exploration mentality.
But I don't understand where it is coming from or what I should do about it.

[country60]

I can only tell you about myself, but I understand what you are talking about I think. I was one of those people that always talked bad about MM sex and such while at the same time hiding my excitment over it. At this point I am working on accepting the idea that it is ok with me that I have a sexual attraction to both men and women, and that is ok. I have always liked getting head and I am learning to give it to men the way I have always given it to women, with enthsiasum. I am also learning to not question why just enjoy the experiences that I have had. I don't know if this helps but I hope it gives you someone elses view to look at.

Country60

[lickitall]

Thanks country60. Yes, it helps.
I have had no experience at all with a guy. So I can't even say whether I would like it or not.
But I have a very strong desire to.

[DiamondDog]

Sometimes it takes people awhile, even decades to understand/accept their sexuality.

I don't blame you for not having sex with that guy at 16. Chickenhawks are bad and you did the right thing for not doing anything with him.

Personally I LOVE male affection like the cuddling, kissing, holding hands, body contact, massage, and hugging but everyone's different.

[innaminka]

Sometimes it takes people awhile, even decades to understand/accept their sexuality.

.

Well put!

Often many people are just too plain busy raising kids, paying mortgages, raising kids, caring, raising kids etc etc to give themselves time to actually explore their inner self other than what society expects!

Personally, I was not aware of my full sexuality until mid-30's. 2 marriages, 2 children, starting businesses just got in the way.

Now you're there - just let it flow!

[undrgrnd]

I understand what you mean lickitall. I am 39, married, two kids, great sex life with my wife, very turned on by women. But for about the last two years I have had a strong desire to have sex with another man. I think the curiousity has always been there, but hidden away. I am comfortable with my sexuality and don't feel threatened whichever way it leans. Perhaps because I am at a place where I am comfortable with myself and accepting of different orientations I have allowed my curiousity to surface - why shouldn't it?

But you know, I might find out that the idea of sex with men was a turn on because it was so different, wild, and kinky, but if I actually tried it I might find out that it really isn't me after all ... or not. Nothing wrong either way.

The fact that I'm very happily married, however, makes exploration emotionally distressing for me, but not what it might mean about my sexuality.

[dtindh]

Another theory is maybe it's that it is taboo, so it makes it that much more exciting. It is also the unknown for you, so it is fantasy and like you said, you don't know if you will like it or not. Sometimes fantasy is much better than reality. It may also be a want to stray, but you feel like you are cheating if it is another woman, but a guy, that's not cheating. Eatin' ain't cheatin'; ask Bill Clinton. :rolleyes:

[lickitall]

DiamandDog~~ Thank you for responding. Um..what is a "chickenhawk" besides the obvious bird...lol
I'm not against the holding and touching, just know that I am physically excited when I see MM oral/anal sex pics.

innaminka~~ LOL I understand. Did you say "raising kids" ??? deffinitely get THAT one!!*whew*

undrgrnd~~ Thank you so much for your response. Very well put and seemed to relate very closely with myself and my situation.
Quote ""The fact that I'm very happily married, however, makes exploration emotionally distressing for me"" Exactly same here.

dtindh~~ I do have desires to stray for "strange" as it were, I think everyone does from time to time , but have "been there and done that" in my last marriage and will not go down that road again. Never got caught, but never could deal with the guilt either.
I understand what you mean and it would seem much less of a threat for a guy to be hangign out with some buddies, but I agree, it would still be cheating.

What to do, what to do??

Realize everyone, that I do not have an "urgency" and so am not going to jump in head first. But his is very new, strange, interesting, and confusing...
I am happy I found this place to at least talk about it and learn from others.
Please continue with your responses and thanks to all who do.

[undrgrnd]

but you feel like you are cheating if it is another woman, but a guy, that's not cheating.


Wow. You really nailed it. That's exactly what I've said to myself, not really knowing if I believed it.

[Maccount]

Mine is a similar situation. I'm a 30 year old married male and have always felt very heterosexual. From before I hit puberty, I was very interested in girls/women and never had a hint of interest in men. I wouldn't say I was suppressing any feelings, I just genuinely was not aroused by the idea of being with a man. I first became aroused by the idea in my late 20's and have since fantisized alot about anal and oral sex with another man. I'm still excited by my women and of course women in general. Though more frequently with women, I see a guy every so often and wonder what it would be like to have a piece of that too! Maybe it's just better as a fantasy or maybe I should give it a try at some point. Who knows?

[lickitall]

Maccount~~""Maybe it's just better as a fantasy or maybe I should give it a try at some point. Who knows?""

I feel the same confusion.
And also I am one to think, "you only live once" why not at least try to experience everything that interests you at least once?

[bodiddleme]

I too was curious, (very) and decided to go for it. I met this guy and we hit it off. We wound up in his place and I sucked him,then he sucked me. When he came in my mouth, I felt each spurt hit my tongue and and I came harder than I had in many years. It was a complete blast of pleasure and I would love to do it again, but meeting someone discretely seems to be a problem!

[stillconfused]

To me you're just normal. Both men and women experience hormonal changes through the life cycle that can confuse ones sexual identity. Of course in women it's caused Menopause, in men it's called buying a Corvette and sucking cock. PS Ladies, many of us fantasize about getting fucked too!

[stillconfused]

If you aren't sure yet DO NOT DO IT! Having sex with another guy can be a traumatic, life changing experience. I didn't do it with a guy until I was twenty five. Just know what you want and don't do anything you'll regret later. Hormonal changes as one gets older can confuse the issue. Your main head is almost twice as smart as your auxillary head, try to use both safely.

[roundman]

Oh God, I am the freak in the bunch. But I'll try to tell a bit about me and maybe it'll help you or somebody else.

First I'm a married male too, 34yrs old. We have two kids also. My wife has no idea (I don't guess) that I'm bi-curious or maybe I'm just bi. Anyway since I was a kid I've always felt like I was suppose to have born a girl. As long as I can remember I've enjoyed dressing up (alone of course) and masturbating. There are a lot of female things I like to do and things I do to make me feel more female. All of course when I'm home alone and I know I'm going to be for awhile.

Anyway I think that is where I started thinking about being with a guy but I knew it had to be with a couple, at the time. While working for a frozen food home delivery company, I met a really nice gay couple. I ask one of them to come meet me at my motel room one night and he agreed. He gave me the first guy/guy experience I ever had. I didn't go all the way but there was a lot of oral and I tried to let him ride me, but it didn't work out. I was very nervous and now I wish I'd went farther. Recently I had a bi experience with a couple (male/female) and it was very nice. More so maybe than just being with a guy. I've seen a few guys though that I would love to blow and I even think I would let them do me if they were interested of course.

I still wish I was a girl most of the time. Maybe that is why I have the desires to be with guys? I wish I could share the thoughts and stuff with my wife but she is way too conservative and our sex life almost doesn't exsist already. Seems I've masturbated more since marriage than I ever did before in my life. I haven't met the right guy yet to really be comfortable holding hands and kissing and stuff like that. I think too that some of it could be the fact that maybe regular sex with your wife has gotten boring to you. I know mine has cause it's always the same old thing. I also want my wife to try the swinging thing and that is a huge turn on. Maybe that is part of my problem as well as yours? It would be nice to share my wife with another man and the two of us (my wife and I) be able to share and enjoy another guy.

[stillconfused]

You need the weenie test to see if you are straight or gay. If a man puts his dick within 3" of your mouth, would you: A. Punch him in the jaw B. Slowly caress it with your tongue C. Beg for anal sex.

[my-00-stang]

b and c lol

[DiamondDog]

DiamandDog~~ Thank you for responding. Um..what is a "chickenhawk" besides the obvious bird...lol
I'm not against the holding and touching, just know that I am physically excited when I see MM oral/anal sex pics.

a chickenhawk is a person who is way over the legal age of being an adult, that knowingly has sex and seeks out sex with teenagers who aren't 18/the legal age.

[Dr.StrangeLove]

You need the weenie test to see if you are straight or gay. If a man puts his dick within 3" of your mouth, would you: A. Punch him in the jaw B. Slowly caress it with your tongue C. Beg for anal sex.

Lol...b and c...then a to prove I'm not gay!

[shyfellow]

b then c

[Maccount]

Funny that you should mention hormonal changes. I would say that my interest in gay sex increased dramatically when I began working out more. I added more muscle and my sex drive really shot up. Maybe there's a coincidence?

(No I'm not using or have ever used steroids.)

[Studley2000]

For me there has always been an attraction to both sexes. As I've aged, the attraction hasn't changed much, I just do more about it now. As many of you have mentioned, family and career got in the way of exploring so I suppressed the desire to have sex with men for many many years.

I think that opportunity has much more to do with the release of the suppressed feelings than hormonal changes. When I was younger, the internet didn't exist. Contacting people like us was difficult to say the least. Until recently I don't think I knew a single bi person. Now, with the advent of such places on the internet as bisexual.com, the ability to meet and interact with people like ourselves is possible, and damn, do I ever enjoy it.

[NorthBiEast]

Funny that you should mention hormonal changes. I would say that my interest in gay sex increased dramatically when I began working out more. I added more muscle and my sex drive really shot up. Maybe there's a coincidence?

(No I'm not using or have ever used steroids.)

For me, pregnancy hormones did the trick. And after I had the baby, my libido skyrocketed. Things are starting to level out a bit now (8 months later), and I'm finding myself more drawn to men again, I still like to fantasize about the ladies though. :rolleyes:

[Doggie_Wood]

You need the weenie test to see if you are straight or gay. If a man puts his dick within 3" of your mouth, would you: A. Punch him in the jaw B. Slowly caress it with your tongue C. Beg for anal sex.

ROFLMFAO!!!!! :bigrin:
Lets see, what would I do :rolleyes:

'B' for about 10-15 minutes ......

then 'C' and beeeennnnnnnddddddddd over. :bigrin:
:doggie:

[teamnoir]

You need the weenie test to see if you are straight or gay. If a man puts his dick within 3" of your mouth, would you: A. Punch him in the jaw B. Slowly caress it with your tongue C. Beg for anal sex.

I don't have sex with random strangers.

I don't fight random strangers or have issues with my sexuality or have sex with men who are on the "down low" and just cruising for sex.

I find anal sex to be the most highly overrated and boring sex act ever.

Bottoms are a dime a dozen and lots of men who claim to be "versatile" are just really bottoms but are ashamed to call themselves a bottom or just admit to themselves that they just love to be fucked.

[Jaber]

Thanks to those who said it takes a while to figure sexuality out. I think I needed to hear it.

[Curmudgeon]

[QUOTE=lickitall]
A little history, I was approached by a gay man in a park when I was 16 who asked to suck my cock (his words) and I felt invaded by it, frightened, even went home and got some friends to go scare him away. No we did not hurt him in any way. That is just explaining my mentality then.
Now, at 44 I find myself cruising the same park, (know for gay activity) in hopes of witnessing some MM activity or even another encounter of my own.
Why?? I totally accept each and every persons personal preference sexually. Whatever it may be. That is my mentality now.QUOTE]

I was 13 when I had my first sex with a man and didn't have sex with a woman for four more years. At the time I thought it was great and actively sought out men to suck me. Still, I was so ignorant at the time that I didn't know what "homosexual" meant when I entlisted in the Army. I also thought that creating a baby required repeated injections of CUM into a woman. There was no such thing as Sex Ed in the '40s.
By contemporary standards that first encounter would have been sexual molestation and staturary rape, but I was an active participant who enjoyed it.

[afterdark75]

It seems guys are so much in the closet then women. I am glad I was able to express myself much earlier then ,most about being bi and not hide it.

[the mage]

A few issues are at play here.
You're aging and looking for renewed excitement.
There is a hormonal shift, but its not that big that it would cause change in orientation in your 40's.

There is a TON of exposure of sexual imagery on all airwaves. We're all being told to fuck everyone we see in the media. (That is fuck em or Kill em)
Gay issues and ideas are forefront in the media too.
Gay bashing is being revealed for what it is. A HATE crime.
You're learning at your age to love and accept YOURSELF!

Be PROUD of yourself, but do remember the world is a cruel place.
Pick your reveals carefully.

Be politically active enough to support gay and Bi friendly laws and lawmakers.

[nwmscurious]

I'm a lot like you in that my interest in men seemed to occur in my mid-40s (other than some early experimentation). However, after I thought about it for awhile I realized that I'd been interested for a lot longer than I had previously been willing to admit to myself.