Delusional

[McHale78]

So I came out to two of my friends, well knowing that they are Christian and very Church going. They told me they will not think of me any other way, then as the good friend that I am.

But they told me they would pray for me and that I was delusional, and I was fed this information that I was Bi (I am female by the way) and it is not real.

I knew they would not agree, but I was offended when they thought I was delusional. I guess I have never personally come across someone who looked down on what I am.

I am new here by they way. I am a 28 year old Bi female. Just looking for friends. (Married to Ed (male) and we have a 10 1/2 month old daughter)

They said they will pray for me to get better? I said I will pray for them, in hopes that they will someday accept the fact that we are not all the same.

I was looking to print out info for them so they could understand or at least read about being Bi. Does anyone know where I can get info?

I didn't think it would affect me as much as it has. But this is me. Thanks for listening.

Jacki

[TxGuy]

you should probaly just drop it.

anything that you give them to read probaly wont get read, unless your there to watch them. then probaly, the next day they'll get you a book to read..."it's called the bible" they'll say, like youve never heard of it. lol

just take it as a victory that they say that your friendship will not change and don't try to change them or make them understand being bi on your level, cause they wont. and it will only make matters worse in the end. sure, you'll be in their prayers from now until eternity to make you feel like something is fucked up with you. but they'll keep it to themselves for the most part and not involvle you with it personally. or so it has been in my case.

not trying to sound mean and cynical despite the way it came out. but that's just my two cents of personal experience.

[boner_lishus]

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Hi thought I'd lend a little input. I really wouldn't think badly of your two friends and definitely wouldn't worry about their "Delusional" concept. If they are from most of the traditional churches...any other term besides "homosexual" isn't mentioned as a norm. Same in most of the "fundmentalist" churches. Some of the side shoot churches distinguish between masc(gay) and fem(lesbian) but it is Xtremely rare....like really really rare for the term "bisexual" to be used. I have heard it mentioned that bisexuals are perverted "homosexuals" if that ain't a hoot. The term "bisexual" is definitely not a word understood by most churchgoers or even clergy for that matter.....as well as its not a term understood by most who live the lifestyle. So just be happy you weren't tarred and feathered and hopefully they'll still remain friends...altho, probably from a safe distance. Took courage to tell them. JIM :male: :bibounce: :bibounce:

[dans94]

Hi McHale78, welcome to our club.

Another point to ponder, that's been said here many times, is 'my sexuality is really not everybody's business.' I understand wanting to 'free' yourself by coming out but with that comes the responsibility?, ethic?, politeness? of not being offended by other people's oppinions. It really isn't something you want to push in anyone's face. I assume you don't like it when people force their religion on you? I just think you should give them the same space you would want.

Congratulations!, by the way, and good luck.
Dan

P.S.: You might be giving them too much credit for their inteligence. You can only inform, teach, those capable of learning. Just kidding! You wouldn't choose to keep stupid friends. :) :rolleyes: :bigrin:

[DiamondDog]

Congrats on coming out!
honsetly I'd just drop people who think like that or have that opinion of me based on a small aspect of myself; but that's me.

[TashaSW]

So I came out to two of my friends, well knowing that they are Christian and very Church going. They told me they will not think of me any other way, then as the good friend that I am.

But they told me they would pray for me and that I was delusional, and I was fed this information that I was Bi (I am female by the way) and it is not real.

I knew they would not agree, but I was offended when they thought I was delusional. I guess I have never personally come across someone who looked down on what I am.

I am new here by they way. I am a 28 year old Bi female. Just looking for friends. (Married to Ed (male) and we have a 10 1/2 month old daughter)

They said they will pray for me to get better? I said I will pray for them, in hopes that they will someday accept the fact that we are not all the same.

I was looking to print out info for them so they could understand or at least read about being Bi. Does anyone know where I can get info?

I didn't think it would affect me as much as it has. But this is me. Thanks for listening.

Jacki


You know, only do what makes YOU happy.
If your friends can't accept it then thats a clear sign they aren't your real friends.... only your real friends will be fine with it. Cause you're still you... the same person you were before you came out.

Don't ever change just to please people.... I did that and it made me miserable. Now Im doing what *I* want. Cause really.... you're the only person that knows whats best for you and what makes you happy.

Some things in life is a great way of testing who your real friends are.

Don't bother giving them anything to read..... just forget it. Let them go.

Beside, its really no one's business which gender you fall in love with.... the point is... you love that person and she/he loves you. Thats all you need to know.

Tasha

[Herbwoman39]

McHale;

I just wanted to say wlecome to your new home :) I hope you find what you need from this site and these wonderful people here.

I'd listen to Tasha and the rest. They're pretty wise. I couldn't have said it better than Tash did. You are you no matter what label you wear. Don't let others ideas or opinions change that. You are valued just the way you are right now.

[biwords]

Yes, I don't think Tasha's advice here can be improved on.

[TaylorMade]

They're doing it because they love you. Church people are like that. Your post said you knew that, what did you expect?

Deep disagreements sometimes happen between people we love. You firmly let them know that this is the path you're on and that their approval was not needed, and you don't feel the same way they do. Tell them to drop it because that's not how you feel.

If their friendship is valuable enough, they'll understand that. My friends at church that know get that.

*Taylor*

[fortyniner1]

I have to agree with Tasha and Taylor but I would like to add that perhaps in some small way, you are educating them and down the road, years from now perhaps, they will see what they lost in the good and honest friend in you. :flag3:

[travelrat69]

I agree with TX and Tasha. Good for you for having the courage to come out, and their reaction is their responsibility. Followers of religious dogma are usually convinced that their beliefs are 100% "truth" because this or that book declares it so. That won't change. However, some well-meaning Christians will take the hate-the-sin but love-the-sinner approach. That's still an unfortunate perspective, in my opinion, but it's better than hate-the-person-too, I suppose...