As a Bi Male or Female Are There Things in the Lifestyle That make you Uncomfortable?

[miamiuu]

I was at a club dropped by and visited my friend and there was this other guy that just stared at me for a little bit and then walked up and asked me to dance. I told him I was there just to drink and listen to the music. Anyway I told him no, but it did feel a little uncomfortable. As far as dancing goes it aint gonna happen. Some things I dont think were meant to happen and dancing with guys aint one of them. Anything with the Bi lifestyle make anyone else here uncomfortable?

[patrick4U]

IF you are truly Bisexual then there should be no discomfort. Dancing is a great way to slowly break the ice between two possible lovers.

[innaminka]

An uncomfortable expectation.
Expressing myself as being bi more often than not results in the expectation (in str8 people) that I involve myself in 3'somes; that its de rigeur for bi's.

Never been there - have no real need to go there.

Just a small niggle, but it happens regularly.

[seafer]

I was at a club dropped by and visited my friend and there was this other guy that just stared at me for a little bit and then walked up and asked me to dance. I told him I was there just to drink and listen to the music. Anyway I told him no, but it did feel a little uncomfortable. As far as dancing goes it aint gonna happen. Some things I dont think were meant to happen and dancing with guys aint one of them. Anything with the Bi lifestyle make anyone else here uncomfortable?

the only uncomfortableness would be at work.. Ive had a patients family memenber (I work in a hospice facility) come to me to talk about their parent and just out of the blue ask me if I was bi..(I talk alot about my husband and most know the cheif is my grandma) I told them yes, but prefered not to discuss this at work while working.. several times they tried to talk to me when they thought we were alone, but i still told them not to..too many ears around..
I was interested, but thats where I draw the line.. I mean common sense would tell you not to try this with the person taking care of your loved one at the end of their lives, don't you think?? also when they are trying to do as you wish, like keeping them alive as long as we can.. right?? am I right here??

[DiamondDog]

I don't have any discomforts, and how is my orientation a "lifestyle"?

Personally I love dancing with men. I remember the first time I ever danced with a guy and it was really fun!

[SilverWulf]

... if you were truly bisexual...

Comments like this are total and utter bullshit.

Just because you may enjoy something does not mean someone else is required to enjoy the same thing. Putdowns like this are like a cancer in our lifestyle. Attempting to pidgeonhole 'true' and 'other' is an exercise in futility that will only chase away potential friends and alienate those who are questioning themselves.

To me, this sounds like someone who is homosexual saying that bisexuals are sitting on the fence, confused, afraid to come out, etc...

If you enjoy dancing with someone, great, have a blast.

As for me, there is no question whatsoever about my own bisexuality.

Dancing, nope, not gonna happen. Kissing, same thing, no thanks.

[TaylorMade]

... if you were truly bisexual...

Comments like this are total and utter bullshit.

Just because you may enjoy something does not mean someone else is required to enjoy the same thing. Putdowns like this are like a cancer in our lifestyle. Attempting to pidgeonhole 'true' and 'other' is an exercise in futility that will only chase away potential friends and alienate those who are questioning themselves.

To me, this sounds like someone who is homosexual saying that bisexuals are sitting on the fence, confused, afraid to come out, etc...

If you enjoy dancing with someone, great, have a blast.

As for me, there is no question whatsoever about my own bisexuality.

Dancing, nope, not gonna happen. Kissing, same thing, no thanks.

Werd!

I hate that phrase. "If you were truly bisexual" . . .it's on the level of "If you were black" to me. Even if you were black, would you ever say to another black person, "If you were truly black, you'd like rap music." ?

I think not. And that is what irritates me about being bisexual sometimes.

*Taylor*

[jedinudist]

IF you are truly Bisexual then there should be no discomfort. Dancing is a great way to slowly break the ice between two possible lovers.


Say What?!?!?

Since when is my sexuality, or the "trueness" of it defined by whether I like to dance or not?

[teamnoir]

... if you were truly bisexual...

Comments like this are total and utter bullshit.

Just because you may enjoy something does not mean someone else is required to enjoy the same thing. Putdowns like this are like a cancer in our lifestyle. Attempting to pidgeonhole 'true' and 'other' is an exercise in futility that will only chase away potential friends and alienate those who are questioning themselves.

To me, this sounds like someone who is homosexual saying that bisexuals are sitting on the fence, confused, afraid to come out, etc...

If you enjoy dancing with someone, great, have a blast.

As for me, there is no question whatsoever about my own bisexuality.

Dancing, nope, not gonna happen. Kissing, same thing, no thanks.

If you don't like to kiss men maybe you're not really bisexual.

I too find it weird that men will find kissing a woman to be more intimate than giving another guy a blowjob or having anal sex with a man, and they won't kiss men.

[SilverWulf]

If you don't like to kiss men maybe you're not really bisexual.

I too find it weird that men will find kissing a woman to be more intimate than giving another guy a blowjob or having anal sex with a man, and they won't kiss men.

No, I don't like kissing men.

Yes, I am bisexual.

How about some basic word smithing. bi, meaning two. Sexual, dealing with sexuality. put the two together, I enjoy the sexual companionship of both genders. Yes, very basic. Perhaps not everyones definition.

Just because I enjoy (perhaps even crave at times) the physicality of sex with both genders does not equate to having to be 'loving' with both.

I do not become intimate or 'fall in love' with my male partners. I am not 'bi-amorous'.

Sex and intimacy are two entirely different animals. One physical, the other mental. Occasionally they will combine, for me they only combine when with my wife.

If you take your bisexuality to encompass intimacy, more power to ya. Enjoy and have a great life. Just because I don't, does not make me any less of a bisexual person than any other.

In addition, I do not do one night stands or hook ups. Never have and never will. My male partners are few and chosen carefully, only after knowing they will be lifelong friends. My wife and I have an open marraige and we are swingers in a closed group.

[Rocsteady]

I find it uncomfortable to always have to explain being bisexual. :(

[Moto1]

I find it uncomfortable to always have to explain being bisexual. :(

Amen!

The problem I find is that being bi-sexual isn't saying everything. As SilverWulf said there's the question of being hetro/homo/bi-amorous. For myself although I wouldn't mind kissing a guy; (I think) I am hetro-amorous. At least that's what it seems at this point. But just because I can't fall in love with a guy, doesn't mean I can't enjoy sex with him. I think this assumption is one of the things which irritates me most about this 'lifestyle'.

Oh, and I've got two left feet so I don't dance with either gender! :tong:

[flexuality]

Just a thought....

but if we were to take the sexual part OUT, would we be trying to explain why we are attracted to people?

kinda makes ya go hhmmmmmm.......just a thought.... :rolleyes:

[anne27]

I've had a couple of female friends that I've come out to automatically assume that I wanted them.
Why do straight people assume all bisexuals wanna jump their bones the first time their backs are turned? *sighs*

[spartca]

There are lots of bisexuals out there with lots of different "lifestyles."

Often when a person says "the lifestyle" I make an assumption they are talking about swinging, i.e. "Lifestyles" national swingers convention here in the USA.

But then sometimes BDSM people talk about "the lifestyle" as if their particular BDSM lifestyle or "scene" was the only one too... and so on. sigh...

[DiamondDog]

There are lots of bisexuals out there with lots of different "lifestyles."

Often when a person says "the lifestyle" I make an assumption they are talking about swinging, i.e. "Lifestyles" national swingers convention here in the USA.

But then sometimes BDSM people talk about "the lifestyle" as if their particular BDSM lifestyle or "scene" was the only one too... and so on. sigh...

The bisexual "lifestyle" for bi women is getting an Ani DiFranco CD, becoming Vegan, and becoming poly, and becoming pagan.

For bi men the bisexual "lifestyle" is listening to an REM or David Bowie album while having a MMF 3 way. It can also be going on the "down low" and tricking with random men you meet online who you give a fake name to so you can cheat on your wife/girlfriend.

The gay "lifestyle" is spending crazy amounts of cash on designer clothing, buying a fotune in Madonna albums, and taking stimulant/designer drugs with friends while you dance to bad remixed early 90s dance music and remixed hip hop.

The lesbian "lifestyle" is finding a wife, having a nice simple wedding/civil union, buying a truck, getting some cats, and either having a kid or adopting one.

The swinger lifestyle is having sex with random people you meet online, at orgies, or in swinger clubs, going to wife/husband swapping parties, key parties, and then parting ways with your sexual partners never to see them again!

The BDSM "lifestyle" is paying an insane ammount of cash to a professional Mistress/Sir/Domme to do things that you won't even tell your shrink about!
Or it's also finding that PERFECT slave who you can have cook dinner for you, mow the lawn, serve you breakfast in bed with your favorite coffee the EXACT temperature that YOU want, and you can use him/her to give you foot massages and be your footstool while you watch American Idol.

[Enoll]

For bi men the bisexual "lifestyle" is listening to an REM or David Bowie album while having a MMF 3 way.

I enjoy both REM and david Bowie and I've always wanted an MMF.
:tong:

I hate dancing, when I'm sober anyway, even 90% of the time when I'm drunk I won't dance, even for my girlfriend. Most clubs pay top 40 charts
and dance/techno, wich I don't like (well, sometimes one or two of the top 40).
I just don't get the whole dancing thing....maybe I'm wierd.