Thinking of "friend one night stand' sort of thing....

[deletetacount123]

Ive been talking to a friend of mine today, I was feeling rather sexually fusterated again, again, Im just being a fuss about my lack of experiences lol

Anyway, I really would love to have my first time be with someone I fall in love with. But I often worry about not knowing what to do or be so bad and she'll not want to date me anymore lol (yes I know things come naturally and the first time is "Weird" for everyone)

A friend of mine suggested giving one night stands a chance and I don't mind the idea if it was someone I already knew who was open and is willing but I don't have any close friends like that!! (Online yes but the online ones live to far away! lol)

I try hard not to think about it, not to think of my wants but its hard when you have to see couples every day in real life, couples online, TV, movies...etc

I know I said IM AGAINST one night stands and they are nothing but pointless and meanless but it probably is different if its with a friend since you know them, love them and all. (and who knows what can happen after, could a romanace delevlop??)

Do you think I should consider one nighter type with open friends (when I get some lol) so I at least have some experiences?

What are your thoughts about this subject?? :)

Tasha

[biwords]

I think you should consider it if you think you'd enjoy it, but not as insurance that someone won't reject you later. If she did, she wouldn't deserve you anyway.

[TorontoGuy2007]

it could be comforting to do it with a friend, but things won't ever be the same.. it could potentially change your friendship, may even make things really awkward.. personally, i'd wait for love and not get sexual with friends.. but if you are really anxious to get sexual, then go for it. just make sure it isn't something you'll regret..

[Solomon]

maybe i'm just being a typical guy.... but i really never could understand how sex changes a relationship

i really think this is a lie that we tell ourselves to try and make meaning of sex or something the vatican started or something like that...

sorry if that seems cold, or analytical but i've really never had any desire to change a relationship simply based on sex, and it really confuses me that anyone would

[Solomon]

hhmm just reflecting my answer...

i think it has to do with expectations... like what are the real expectations?

like if we go to a prostitute (hypothetically! lol) the expectation is very clear... just sex, so the relationship doesn't change... but with most people the expectations aren't very clear and there seems to be a real tendency to blame the sex vs. the real culprit which would be us and our expectations and not being able to clearly understand them much less communicate them

so, what sort of things would you expect to change with the relationship after having sex?

would you be ok with communicating that to your partner before deciding to have sex?

are you being totally honest with yourself, or are you maybe setting yourself up to be hurt?

maybe these would be the best questions to answer for yourself Tashie :cool:

[darkeyes]

Dont do ne thin ya not comfy wiv Tash. But don dismiss ne thin outa hand. Wether ya like it or not sex wiv a m8 duz change the relationship, sumtimes for the betta sumtimes not...jus think it through fore ya do ne thin.. think wotya prepared to lose..wotya mite gain, wot changes may occur.

I luv an adore my best friend an she 2 is bisexual, but in all the time we been m8s we hav slept togetha often but neva eva hav we had sex an nor wud we...our friendship is jus 2 important 2 us both (an the fact that her gf wud kill me plays no part in that decision honestly!!) I have had sex wiv several friends, male an female, once ending up a very bad experience wiv the guy endin up thinkin he owned me, but mostly the changes have been positive an we have become closer.. it depends on the who, his or her personality an nature.

Re one nite stands wiv strangers I hav much more experience of those an its sumthin that seems 2 b in my make up... once me is attracted then its time 2 decide on me plan of action. But such one niters hav ther dangers 2, arguably even more than wiv m8s, an neither encourage or discourage ne1 from havin one or more..its a matta of how ya feel an wotya want an who ya fancy.. an the risks yas prepared 2 take.. Me has had good an bad experiences, an one bloody awful..

Its true for most of us, though not necessarily so, that sex wiv one we luv is the most satisfyin an enjoyable, but do agree that havin sum experience of it is normally a gr8 help to most of us wen that moment finally arrives.. though gain, not necessarily so..

Woteva ya duz Tasha..weigh everythin up, an think bout the possible consequences..one niter wiv a m8 or sum1 ya only jus met, or even havin a "fuck buddy" can all be wonderful and excitin experiences, but equally all can bring disaster..

Woteva ya duz, me hopes that its positive.. but jus take ya time an b sure wotya doin is the rite thing for u!

[darkeyes]

I know I said IM AGAINST one night stands and they are nothing but pointless and meanless but it probably is different if its with a friend since you know them, love them and all. (and who knows what can happen after, could a romanace delevlop??)


Tasha

Me flattie wos readin this thread Tash an she made a valid point which me overlooked.. sure one nite stands can b meaningless an pointless.. but her experience an mine has more often than not been the opposite, in my case mainly wiv women hers exclusively so. Meaningless an pointless mayb in the long term emotional sense, but not, least not wen the sex is gud, in the satisfaction an enjoyment sense, an the things we learn bout each other an bout the art of making love ( I know, not the rite expression wen talkin bout a one of nite of pash, but ya knows wot I mean!!) can b immeasurable.. an just occasionally, that 1 nite remains just that, but we do find ourselves with someone who can become our friend. That don happen 2 often in my experience but it has at least once to me, an my flattie who is a lesbian has several gr8 m8s who began as a one nite of lust!!

Seein 2 an ache or a need, an satisfyin a fancy is neva pointless or meaningless.. is shoppin for a new pair of shoes or undies or that yummie new dress meaningless or pointless?? Wot else r they but whims an fancies an buyin em gets shot of a an ache or a need as well as makin ya more scrummie.. an fore ne 1 gets at me for comparin the two, they r comparable, spesh since 1 is so often tied up with the otha..least in my case!! Leave it up ta u which ya thinks is more important 2 me!! tee hee

On that last point..Georgie (flattie) has jus called me a bloody frivolous, flippant, vain tart!! Cheeky cow!!! My point is that ne thin that makes ya feel gud can neva b meaningless an pointless... don think thats frivolous or flippant but yea..its prob a bit vain!!!

[deletetacount123]

Well, first I don't have any friends around here or at least close enough to do something like that with. So this post was just random talk of nothing lol

Meaning this post was most likely just talk. :tongue:

As much as a one nighter with friends sounds nice, I don't ever see that happening. :(

Why is it so hard for someone talkive like me to make friends in this stinking town?? :( Aaaaaaah I hate this.
All my friends are online and thats good. I just wish I had more in real life too. Work is a great way to make friends but sometimes the friendship will just be in the workplace.

Oh well. sometimes random talks of nothing makes me feel better hehe since they are never gonna happen and can't be true considering the main point of the post doesn't exist.

The internet is my own fantasy world cause RL just doesn't want to be nice to me and all my good efforts are doomed. (Does nothing). Ugh.

Okies Im gonna go. Work day.
Tasha

[wolfcamp]

Have you tried some of the other 'personals' websites? I have noticed this site is great for talking and validating your thoughts and feelings, but the participation is a little limited compared to some of the other sites where meeting someone is the main goal.

[deletetacount123]

Have you tried some of the other 'personals' websites? I have noticed this site is great for talking and validating your thoughts and feelings, but the participation is a little limited compared to some of the other sites where meeting someone is the main goal.

Those other sites you speak of are people just wanting strictly sex without feelings. :( I don't think nothing good will happen from those.
Plus I did look... hardly anyone local thats my type lol

Tasha

[woolleycouple]

Sex with out meaning is meaningless. Your first should be romantic and relaxed not hurried and convienent(sp). Yes we all have time that we want to jump someone out of pure need hell who doesn't. But for you Tasha you need more you need heart and soul so please consider that too.

[deletetacount123]

Sex with out meaning is meaningless. Your first should be romantic and relaxed not hurried and convienent(sp). Yes we all have time that we want to jump someone out of pure need hell who doesn't. But for you Tasha you need more you need heart and soul so please consider that too.

I will :) :)