Should I Have Sex With My Close Friend

[mcliff128]

Recently my very close friend has come out to me, and at the same time he implied he wants to have sex with me. He knows i'm bi and that's why I think he felt comfortably telling me. We have both had a number of bad relationships and I think he's just looking to get laid once and awhile. I would love to have sex with him, but I've haven't said anything yet. I'm worried it could ruin our friendship, and his friendship is more important to me than just sex. Should I sleep with him or just tell him no?

[lickitall]

WOW! That is a tough one. I have no experience at all. However, in my late teen years my best friend suggested we try some playing and see, just for the experience. I turned him down and it did not harm our firendship at all that he asked and we talked about it.
Now, I wish I had acted on it then. We were such good friends that i really don't think it would have hurt the friendship and I could have this curiosity already checked out.

I guess, if he is a really close friend, I would talk about it and share your concerns.

[yoyo4u]

Definitely Yes!

I did and I'd do it again, was it not for his acceptance of being - and behaving as - a grandparent. :rolleyes:

yoyo :)

[lilbitsva]

I did the same thing. I came out to one of my best friends. We had been friends for all my life. And she told me that she wasn't sure about her feelings that she knew that she really wanted to do something with a girl just to see if she liked it. Okay well i was like well i would love to do something with her. so we talked about it a few times. We never did anything because she got cold feet. I told her that it didn't make me look bad at her and that i understood. With you i would just look at it as if you feel that you will still be comfrontable with each other afterwards then go ahead but if you feel even in a little bit that you might not be you might want to want on it. I would just talk to your best friend about the whole situation and see what they have to say. I wish you the best of luck with everything lil bit

[DeafF2M]

I have a very close friend that I've known for over 20 years. We started playing around with each other sexually a couple of years ago and it has not affected our friendship at all.. if anything it's added to it.

Keep in mind... he's in an open relationship and so am I.. we both know it's just sex and not anything more. No jealousies, no romantic feelings, none of that. Just friends with benefits.

Doesn't always work, but it can... You won't know unless you try.

[biwords]

I guess, if he is a really close friend, I would talk about it and share your concerns.

Perfect!

[tony455]

ihave a similar situation.Ihave a friend who is openly gay and i havent come out to him but i want to,he knows my wife well as they went to college toghther.I knew him before that in high school( i didnt know he was gay then)i really like him but i want it only to be sex.The only thing that worries me about a decision like this is that he knows my wife(we havent seen him in a few years) any ideas?guys?gals?

[Herbwoman39]

My advice would be to talk to your friend. Tell him what your concerns are. Make sure he really *does* want sex with you. Implications can always be misread.

If everything gets the green light then I would definitely sleep with him. After all, friends know you well and it can be much more of an intimate experience for the both of you.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

[DiamondDog]

You should talk to him. It could be good but it also could ruin a friendship.

I have one friend that's bi and deeply closeted and he'll ask me for sex but then hesitates since I think he's worried that it could ruin our friendship.

At one point I did entertain the idea of having sex with him but I think if I ever did he'd flip out and that it would ruin our friendship.

[12voltman59]

It looks as though everyone has pretty well covered that one, especially Lickitall's post very squarely hit the nail on the head--

Do have a heart to heart talk with him about and discuss both of your feelings about your general situations, the fact you are both "bicurious" and your friendship--take things slowly if you both decide you do want to try something---just start slowly-don't force anything and make it clear from the outset that you guys are exploring and there is no pressure to do anything more and if one or both of you feel you have reached a boundary line in your explorations that you just can't cross--agree beforehand that those boundaries are sacrosanct and that if you find you can only go so far--then so be it and it won't harm your relationship---

Just my suggestion to you---

[seafer]

ihave a similar situation.Ihave a friend who is openly gay and i havent come out to him but i want to,he knows my wife well as they went to college toghther.I knew him before that in high school( i didnt know he was gay then)i really like him but i want it only to be sex.The only thing that worries me about a decision like this is that he knows my wife(we havent seen him in a few years) any ideas?guys?gals?

does your wife know you have these feelings for other men?? If not I really would see how she feels about you playing with whomever first.. if she is ok, then go for it.. if not your better to think of what you want more.. the play or the wife.. if its the friend and he knows the wife, it could perhaps ruin both relationships at the same time. specially if for some reason she finds out you are sexing up a friend you both know.. think.. think.....think..

[newman]

I only wish I could be so lucky... I wish my friend would tell me that he was attracted to me and wanted to have sex.. I would jump in the closest bed I could find

[sexybicplinwv]

Definitely Dont!!! This well end your friendship, and sound's like you have a good thing going with this friend, Sex partner come and go. A true friend is hard to find. :female:

[FerociousFeline]

Hey man,

I have the answer for you.....

NO.

Don't do it.

Look at it this way. You have what is incredibly difficult to get in the first place already: solid friendship.

Nothing hurts so extreme is to lose a friendship that was solid over sex.

(this applies to situations of either sex)

It's better that you should be there to guide, to be there to compare notes with etc, but I'd stay away from having that experience if I were you.

Besides.....it's better if you have the tension between you (if you aren't misinterpreting) after your friend has navigated the rough waters of self identity, then, MAYBE.......down the road..........maybe. But now?

absolutely not.

You should talk about it with them, you might tell them what I just said.

I lost a friendship over this, and it hurt.

Good luck

FF

[lilbitsva]

hey sexy you have a good point lil bit

[anne27]

My first woman/woman contact was with a friend. We played around for about a year and a half on and off. It got kinda weird for a while. She wanted me to be her g/f and I was newly bi and scared to death of getting into the emotional side of things. It was fun though while it lasted.

She and I aren't very good friends anymore, mainly because our hubbies wound up in bed together and she didn't much care for that *L*.

Oh well.

Talk to the man, see where it goes, but do keep in mind that you may wind up losing a friendship, even if you gain a lover.

Good luck!!

[Lovetolove]

My best friend and I did have sex together, she knew I was 'bi' and she approached me with the idea. The firsttime with her my love for her went crazy (we are both married, my hubby knows), and put a strain on things for about 2 months. We did a lot of talking to understand what each one wanted from this. I can truly say we are still best friends, haven't had sex a several months and may never do it again, but I had a wonderful time, I would jump at the chance to do it again. I feel our friendship has grown and we love each other more than ever. I think the best thing to do is talk about what you each want/expect from the experience and be true to one another. My girl and I are proof you can still be friends after sex.

[*pan*]

personaly yes because he is your best friend it will be awesome, but remember the basics and be totaly truthful and up front with both your feelings and fears, and concerns, keep it as just play for awhile unless the feelings grow and don't be afraid to speak what you think not waiting till later. communication is important and the most caused reason for failures in relationships. both must be open and truthful. but then again this is only my suggestion for what it's worth.
peace and blessings to all >

[Rocsteady]

There isn't much left to say. It is a tough call and it depends on you and how strong is the feeling for sex vs. friendship. I have been on both sides of this fence and I have had sex ruin a friendship and I have had it make it stronger. Good luck either way.

[cabooseme2]

Well I spose depending on how close you are, I did once with a close freind ever since then are relation has not been the same we barely talk any more.

[Solomon]

if you're into it and he's into it, then what's the problem?

if sex destroys your friendship, then ya didn't have a friend like ya thought ya did in the first place, and you're just finding out is all