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quietbi
Apr 9, 2007, 11:19 AM
Hi, I've been struggling with my sexuality for 10 years, and found it very tricky declaring to my girlfriend of 4 weeks i was bi. She was taken aback and started worrying I would go off with a guy. I told her I was with her and that I wouldn't (as I see that as cheating). She went off and got some books from the library to understand my bombshell. We didn't talk much about it and she was okay and we stayed together for about 3 months but I fundamentally believed I had compromised myself. I believe in being honest and can't hide that I am bi from a potential partner. I haven't been with a guy for 3 years but have an opportunity soon - so I guess the question is if me and this guy become regular friends it would be difficult to get a girlfriend again - unless we both pursue bi females who may be more open to the bi male lifestyle. Any thoughts advice please?

candigirl
Apr 9, 2007, 12:01 PM
That's actually better than being with a straight man.... i dont want to have to hear a hetero male tell me come on lets have a 3some...not happening with me...where as a bisexual male half the time could care less cause he has his man by his side...

TaylorMade
Apr 9, 2007, 12:13 PM
Just because a man is bi doesn't mean I'll automatically like him, but if I am in a position where I am between an equally as funny/intellegent/goodlooking/hung straight guy, the bi guy gets the date.

*Taylor*

anne27
Apr 9, 2007, 12:28 PM
I'm a bi female married to a bi guy. In my experience, I find bisexuals more open, less conservative, and just basically more fun than your basic hetero folks. If I were ever to be free to look for another man, I would most likely seek out a bi guy.

:2cents:

lickitall
Apr 9, 2007, 1:23 PM
I'm a bi female married to a bi guy. In my experience, I find bisexuals more open, less conservative, and just basically more fun than your basic hetero folks. If I were ever to be free to look for another man, I would most likely seek out a bi guy.

:2cents:
Very well put!! I am male, but if in the situation to look for another, I would seek out bi also, for the same open minded reasons.

unum60
Apr 9, 2007, 3:30 PM
I believe that both the men and the women are just beggining to understand what a bi-male is and is not. Just look around this site and see how many men claim bi-curious, also see how much of a big deal that folks make about annoucing that one is a bi-male.

I believe us bi-male's need to get to place where we are no longer struggling with our sexuality.

My expereince is this - if a woman finds me attractive and wants me she accepts my alternative desires, if she does not find me attractive then chances are she will make fag jokes behind my back, and yes the bi-females luv to trash the bi-men whom they do not find attractive. Just read the posts in this site or visit the chat room!

Jason

welickit
Apr 9, 2007, 3:56 PM
We are both bi so don't have to deal with your type problem. However we have friends who were faced with the same issues. We have a bi female friend with a son who lives with a lesbian, our neighbor is gay but he lives with a lesbian, another friend is bi and he lives with a woman who is straight, she goes to church three times a week, but she still loves and accepts him. The answer to your question lies with the one you meet and are attracted to. Bi all means be open and honest right up front. When you go looking we suggest getting involved in Pride events, even if just attending or being a volunteer. Pride events are for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered individuals. Great place to be accepted and to meet new friends of both sexes. Good Luck.

TaylorMade
Apr 9, 2007, 4:20 PM
I believe that both the men and the women are just beggining to understand what a bi-male is and is not. Just look around this site and see how many men claim bi-curious, also see how much of a big deal that folks make about annoucing that one is a bi-male.

I believe us bi-male's need to get to place where we are no longer struggling with our sexuality.

My expereince is this - if a woman finds me attractive and wants me she accepts my alternative desires, if she does not find me attractive then chances are she will make fag jokes behind my back, and yes the bi-females luv to trash the bi-men whom they do not find attractive. Just read the posts in this site or visit the chat room!

Jason

I agree with you but I'll add some insight on the last paragraph - - if a woman didn't find you attractive, she would riff on your percieved shortcomings no matter your orientation. Unfortunately, many women will include sexuality under "short comings" if they don't like your looks. I know I've thought such things (don't think I've said them, though). I admit that is why I worded my post the way I did.

*Taylor*

QuixoteCream
Apr 9, 2007, 5:20 PM
Hi,

I know this is going to be cliche, but if a woman cannot accept you because your bi, better to let her go. Think of the energy involved in trying to be something you are not.

As a bi women, I do find the idea of men being together a turn on. I don't know if that helps, but ....

As for dating a bi man, I don't see the big deal. But I can see how a straight girl may have more trouble with it, especially seeing as many straights view bi's as wanting sex all the time. Not true, but that perception is out there.

julie
Apr 9, 2007, 6:11 PM
...i've been with tom_uk for nearly two years now. one of the main things that have kept us bound together despite struggling with bi-sexual boundaries has been the empathy we share in being bi.

...so the short answer to your question quiet bi is a resounding yes... because i have no shared empathy with straight men, or lesbian women for that matter....

despite this relationship railroading every boundary and value i ever possessed, it has given me a new boundary.... i only want to explore relationships with others who identify as bi.

so there you have it :rolleyes:

love julie :female: x

12voltman59
Apr 9, 2007, 6:55 PM
I am glad to see that there are women who identify as bi who do like bi men----before starting to explore all of this--I had this notion that with most if not all women---once I did anything as an adult with another guy--I was going to be relegated to only being with guys---

Thankfully I find that is not so and while it may not be easy to find a bi lady--it is not easy finding any lady for that matter at this point in my life---I think the only way I can be with a woman is if she is either bi herself or at least is understanding and accepting of bisexuality in her man---

Thanks to the ladies who posted they want bisexual men----

Fire Lotus
Apr 9, 2007, 8:28 PM
My husband is bi. So am I.That is one of the reasons why our relationship does so well. We have a shared understanding that is on levels I don't think we could have with a straight partner. If I were in a situation to where I found myself looking for other men, I would choose bisexual men.

spartca
Apr 9, 2007, 10:15 PM
Just to reference a few recent related threads:

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2618

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2631

http://main.bisexual.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2854

mistymockingbird
Apr 10, 2007, 1:56 AM
This will just repeat what others have said, but I too prefer men that are bi. I've found bi folks to be more open minded and accepting. I don't like the pressure to have a 3some, perceived or otherwise, that comes dating a straight guy.

Like many things in life, we seek out others who have experienced similar situations because they are better able to understand. Sexuality is the same thing for me. Obviously if someone, a straight guy or a lesbian, comes along that is wonderful, I won't turn him or her away based purely on sexuality, but my distinct preference is for partners that are bi.

quietbi
Apr 10, 2007, 7:03 AM
Thank you all for your constructive comments, it is also good to know there are bi women who are also accepting (and excited by the potential) of being with a bi guy. I recognise that embracing the bi community is the way forward as mutual understanding and honesty are the keys. The suggestion about helping or attending Pride events makes a lot of sense and I will follow up. Another important thing for me, was when I started dating the lady in question, I had already had bi experience and just felt I had to be fair to her that the feelings exist and not as I guess she presumed that I was about to look for a guy as well.

BI MALE ACTOR UK
Apr 10, 2007, 1:22 PM
I would love to find a bi women, even if it is just for friendship. I only ever knew one and that was years ago, I have not seen her for years but she was a wonderful friend and the only person i could ever really talk about sexual experiances with.. i would love another woman just to be like that with again

happyjoe68
Apr 10, 2007, 2:23 PM
In some ways its easier since you both know and understand each other desires. Yet, this also means that there is often "no place to hide", and can lead to uncomfortable conversations, as others will attest to. A "shared interest", even like this one, is no guarantee of success in any relationship

TorontoGuy2007
Apr 10, 2007, 7:51 PM
it's never easy to generalize, but i think the probabilities are higher that a bi partner would be more open and willing to share you with another person than someone who was not bi. but overall, it's all about communication. if you want to date a man and a woman concurrently, be upfront about it with your potential dating prospects. this will prevent a disasterous abrupt ending to future relationships when you drop the bi bombshell. good luck, and all the best.

flexuality
Apr 10, 2007, 10:03 PM
To answer the question..."Do bi women fancy bi men?"

Yep! :tong:

Ok.....so I can't speak for everyone...but I can speak for me. :rolleyes:

teamnoir
Apr 10, 2007, 10:42 PM
Some do and some don't.

Others could care less about your sexuality or that it's the same as theirs since they simply want a closed relationship with a man.