Men and Women On Parenting

[spoiledangel860505]

I am doing a compare and contrast paper on how men and women parent their children differently and I don't know where to begin, and thought maybe I could get some ideas from others on what they think of this topic.

I found a really good website.... http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5294466/

which is a good start, but what do you think some of the similiarities and differences are? I think that dads, tend to be more physcial, tickling wrestling, and not as safety conscious as mothers are, and mothers are tend to cuddle their children and are worried about them getting hurt.

I think this is really a very interesting topic....opinions welcomed.

[ambi53mm]

LOL Very broad subject but for starters:

Interesting article but it seems very oriented towards younger children with little mention of the teenage years that often IMO tend to be the hardest years. There is a thin line between holding on and letting go during those years because no matter how you parent, you’re being competitively challenged it seems on all fronts. The skills I’ve honed to survive in life, are the skills I’ve honed as a parent and have tried to pass on to my children the most useful I’ve found “adaptability”

Ambi :)
.

[Solomon]

i agree with ambi this is a very broad subject, and on a forum like this would require a book lol.

however, i've heard it said that women tend to be natural nurturer's and the men are the problem solvers.... but i think that that statement doesn't quite cover much in detail lol

[Omnivore]

i agree with ambi this is a very broad subject, and on a forum like this would require a book lol.

however, I've heard it said that women tend to be natural nurturer's and the men are the problem solvers.... but i think that that statement doesn't quite cover much in detail lol

I think there is some truth to that, certainly reflects my family. Also the wife is the one who shouts at the kids, lays down the law, I'm the one who defuses situations, resolves arguments and explains what they did wrong.

I thinks going to vary though, with strength of character in both parents, how hot headed they are, whether they are calm and rational or reactionary. Most families I have seen are the reverse of mine - it's the father who lays down the law and the mother who reconciles and explains.

Maybe there are broad sexual stereotypes, but I'm not sure if that would be accurate or even a viable proposition in describing the dynamics of a family - all families are unique in my limited experience.

[spoiledangel860505]

LOL Very broad subject but for starters


Its not as broad of a subject like some that I have had to write on and it seems to have a lot of information. I'm doing a compare and contrast paper and so I have to break it down, which is fairly easy when you have a subject that has a lot of information.


http://www.parents.com/parents/story.jhtml?storyid=/templatedata/parents/story/data/5993.xml

http://www.parenting.com/parenting/article/0,19840,1547185_1,00.html?

http://news.sawf.org/Lifestyle/1231.aspx

http://www.drlaura.com/sah/sahd.html?mode=view&tile=1&id=1480

[jaglvr]

This is actually a topic I think alot about. I have three children. 7, 4, and 2. The 7 year old is actually my stepson but I've been there since he was 3 months old so I consider him my first born. In my house we attempt to have a uniform style of parenting the children and work as a team to keep consistency in their lives especially since I am in the Navy and consistency is not one of their strong points. Even so I tend to be the more level headed, and disciplinary of the two of us. She will tend more toward trying to reason with the children and grow frustrated sooner and resort to screaming sooner. I don't know that the differences can be attributed to gender as much as personality difference. The way I parent is the way I approach most things in life. I am a "cut through the crap" kind of person usually and won't normally get caught up in details about who said what or who did what to whom. She will be more inclined toward arguing with the children and sorting out who did or said what to whom. We balance each other though, because with her around I am less likely to be too corporal or too dismissive and with me around she is less likely to get walked all over by the kids and will be more consistent in her enforcement of the house rules.
I am of the opinion that increasingly there is less of a difference in parenting style between men and women per se as time goes on because there is less of a difference between the roles that we play in life. The playing field is more level with each passing generation.
My experience, take it for what it's worth.

[bigirl_inwv]

Like said before, I think it has alot to do with who in the relationship has the more dominant personality. I don't have children, but with my parents, my mom is definately more dominant.

My Mom was always the one who, if I did something wrong, just told me it was wrong and punished me. She was the enforcer. She did the grounding, the spanking, ect. She parented with tough love.

My Dad, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. If I did something wrong, instead of yelling at me, he talked with me and told me why what I did was wrong. He's the one who played with me, whether it was baseball or barbies. When sitting on the couch he cuddled with me and he tucked me into bed at night.

But with friends of mine, their families are the exact opposite. So...it really depends on personality types. And if you are getting into other details, such as do they spank, ect.....I think that all depends on how a person was raised. So it's a complicated topic. Goodluck with your paper and hopefully I helped a smidgen. :bigrin:

[mouse46]

:bibounce: In reference to spoiledangel860505; I guess I'd have to say that hubby is the problem solver and I'm the nurturing mom. As for wrestling, tickling and showing affection we both lay that role. We both were married before and have a yours, mine and ours with taking on a foster child home. Nine children in all so there were lots of problems and lotsof love and understanding to grow around. Another commented on teenagers not being mentioned"" Ambi53mm" I have to say personally , they were trying years some part required an intervention to bring that one back to reality. In the end they thank you because they are forever changed and a better person for it. Sometimes taking drastic measures is just what the doctor ordered so to speak.After moving out they will be ready to start their lives with no regrets and stronger.You on the other hand have to let them go and realize they aren't going too far and that they always come to see you, eventually. LOL :bibounce:

[spoiledangel860505]

Well, I find it hard to compare and contrast the male and female parenting roles because I am a child of a single mother.

My brother was born in 1980, my mom and dad were together, and then were separated, back and forth for 5 years, they got divorced in September 1985.

I was born in January of 1986. Yup that's right, they obviously were trying to start over, while they were still together.

My dad was in my life for awhile, although he wasn't there when I was born, and even before I was born he tried to get rid of me, he tried to push my mom out of a moving vehicle on the freeway when she was 7 months pregnant with me. It caused an accident and make the car flip over and over.

My brother who was 6 when I was born knew our dad well, and didn't understand why I was afraid of him when he would come and get us for visitiation (not ordered through the court either)
I wouldn't go, I was afraid of him, can you blame me I didn't know him. So for the longest time he came to pick up just my brother. I grew up thinking my dad didn't want another child, and he definiately, according to my mom, didn't want a little girl.

I didn't have him around to parent me, play with me, discipline me, I don't like my father, he lives here in Bakersfield, I haven't seen or talked to him since I was 10 or 11.

My grandpa til I was 10 was my father figure, and in reading my child development books that its normal for a child in a single parent home to form a bond with another relative. I was grandpa's little girl, I loved him to death, and would argue with my mom "He's my daddy" "No he's my daddy" lol He passed away.

My mom she has more of a sympathetic parenting style for me at least, cause I'm the baby so my brother always gets into trouble.

[Lorcan]

I think that dads, tend to be more physcial, tickling wrestling, and not as safety conscious as mothers are, and mothers are tend to cuddle their children and are worried about them getting hurt.


We may take on roles to complement our partner... or we may choose partners that complement us... rather than take roles according to our sex.

For example: i cuddle and am not as safety conscious, and my partner is the reverse. We are both physical...play fighting and such.

Though that may be more true of same sex couples parenting a child.

[Solomon]

truthfully i think that lorcan hit the nail on the head with differences in parenting styles....

we choose partners that tend to compliment us, and i really question any formal studies that attempt to stereotype these roles or areas of responsibility...

i think it goes all the way back to the question of what if everyone was gay or bisexual? would the studies generate the same results? i would think it highly unlikely