A sign?

[halfofwhat]

I've been struggling with my sexuality heavily for the past 2 years (I'm 24). I'm in therapy for OCD and that is my particular obsession. Lately, more and more, I've had the overwhelming feeling that I'm gay...but realistically, how can I be gay if I still fantasize mostly about women, and would rather be with a woman? Either way, I've had a feeling for a long time that I'm most likely bi. I'm aroused by gay porn and look at other guys and think they are hot. Is it real or a fantasy? I don't know...I'm still trying to learn more about myself. I just have to be open and accepting.

Last night, I decided to go to a gay bar alone. I've been to this bar before with a former friend (she's friends with a lot of people there as well as the bartender), so it wasn't new territory. I just figured I'd give it a shot. I wasn't very nervous, I barely thought twice...I just went in. I talked briefly with a guy; it seems so much easier to talk to men than women. I grabbed a copy of a local magazine (Metro Times) and flipped to the horoscopes. This is what mine had to say:


"When you argue with reality, you lose 100 percent of the time," says teacher Byron Katie. So how do you cure yourself of the bad habit or arguing with reality? Love what is, she advises. Gladly and gracefully accept who you are and the life you've been given. But more than that: Ask yourself whether the beliefs you have about who you are and the life you've been given are actually true. Let's say, for example, you've been infected with the elief that you'll never get the love you want. Is that an objective, rock-solid fact about reality or is it a fearful fantasy? If it's the latter, then don't even argue, just drop it.

God, how fitting, right? I laughed at that. Must be a sign, eh?

[FalconAngel]

okay. 2 things here.

1. If you fantasize about and/or have an attraction to both genders, then you are NOT gay. You are Bisexual.

2. You are allowed to get turned on by whatever kind of porn you want to let turn you on......no matter what your sexuality.

I have been Bi my whole life and my first Bi experience was when I was about 10 with some friends of mine. So I know about this. I didn't suddenly wake up one day in my adult life and begin wondering about my sexuality. Now I don't say that to sound superior, just to clarify just exactly where I am from an understanding standpoint. I have had 36 of my almost 46 years to come to terms with my sexuality.

Enjoy you sexuality. Wallow in it. Be honest with yourself about what you are feeling and you will be just fine. And don't be afraid to examine what you are feeling, both towards yourself and toward your romantic/sexual partners.

Bisexuals can be anywhere in the spectrum from preferring opposite sex partners and only occasionally playing with same sex partners to preferring same sex partners and only playing with opposite sex partners on occasion. Every possible combination is possible.
Now I don't see myself being romantically involved with a same sex partner, but if the right man came along then a triadic situation with my wife would have to be the solution as long as my wife and he got along in that situation.

Just look at things from the point of view that what you are is what you are. You cannot change what you were born to be, just what you do with it and about it.

In this case, just enjoy it and above all, play safe.

[Solomon]

i love the way einstein put it, and it's not an exact quote but "the significant problems we face in our daily life cannot be solved at the same level of thinking in which we created the problem"

that's why i love hanging around on this site... the members here do elevate my thinking in regards to my sexuality and my marriage and family life as well... :cool:

also, it is amazing the little ways that signs present themselves lol

one day me an flex were driving along going to a meeting and i looked over at a sign in front of a church that simply said "are you listening?"

i mentioned it an something just clicked for flex... although i'm still not sure what lol but she said something clicked for her... :cool:

[happyjoe68]

"When you argue with reality, you lose 100 percent of the time," says teacher Byron Katie. So how do you cure yourself of the bad habit or arguing with reality? Love what is, she advises. Gladly and gracefully accept who you are and the life you've been given. But more than that: Ask yourself whether the beliefs you have about who you are and the life you've been given are actually true. Let's say, for example, you've been infected with the elief that you'll never get the love you want. Is that an objective, rock-solid fact about reality or is it a fearful fantasy? If it's the latter, then don't even argue, just drop it.

In many ways, the above statements are very true, but like most maxims, they can be taken too far or too seriously. Its right that people should test their beliefs and examine what they believe to be true or false.

"Doubt is the father of all insight" - and whilst this can liberate, it can also enslave. One cannot spend one's entire life examining one's beliefs and ripping to shreds everything one believes is "false". Sometimes one should just accept things for what they are

[Cerealk]

"Doubt is the father of all insight" - and whilst this can liberate, it can also enslave. One cannot spend one's entire life examining one's beliefs and ripping to shreds everything one believes is "false". Sometimes one should just accept things for what they are

You could say it takes a good balance between the two, but the lack of one or the other is something to avoid. If one would just accept everything, one couldnt move at all. If one would just doubt everything, one would be stuck in place. (Its the same thing, but its different.) There are times and things you have to doubt and some others you have to accept. To each is own balance to lead toward real freedom.