More about my situation

[DREAMER69]

For as long as I can remember, I have used various objects, dildos, vibrators and other toys for anal pleasure. I discovered long ago how good anal stimulation can be either during masturbation or during sex with a woman. I have been what I would call analy (did I spell that correctly?) fixated for many years. I have enjoyed GIVING analingus to and having anal sex with numerous girlfriends over the years. I constantly crave anal sex with my wife, although she has NEVER allowed it. I am totally turned on by every part of my wife's body and she just does not understand my needs. For all of my adult life, I have had the following viewpoints on sex with a woman: 1. EVERY PART of a woman's body is beautiful and sexy, 2. If two people truly care about each other's sexual needs, there should be NO as in ZERO "no tresspassing" signs regarding what body parts are off limits from exploration & pleasure, 3. I will do anything with a woman (now, of course I should say with my wife) sexually as long as it does not involve the 3 P's (pee, poop, & pain). I have been using various large dildos and vibrators on myself for years and I love to watch myself in the mirror. I have even made many videos of myself wildly jerking off and fucking these lifelike cocks. My wife and I have used sex toys for years but only on her, and she never allows anal play. In the last year or so I have finally begged her to use some toys on me that I have kept hidden. At first she was amazed that I would even want anything put up my ass. She now on occassion will use one on me while I masterbate. When I come it is so intense I almost can't stand it. Why am I telling you all this? It is because I have so many frustrations and fantasies about sex and I feel I can't end life without experiencing at least some of them. It is so wierd for me because I have NO attraction to men for any kind of emotional or romantic needs but I do wish there was a safe and practical way to feel what it's like to be fucked in the ass by a guy. For some reason I am so curious what it's like when they come. My toys are my only thing I can compare it to. Is it possible to want to try these things but not actually be bi-sexual? Or are your bi-sexual by definition, if you act on a fantasy that involves one of the sam sex? Sorry for the verbosity. You guys and gals seem very nice and I still can't believe I am on this site doing this. It feels right though. Thoughts comments?

[Herbwoman39]

Has your wife ever said "why" this 1" square space is off limits? I'm not advocation for a violation of her boundaries. After all, no *does* mean no. But if she is afraid of pain or filth, etc, there are things you can do to help alleviate those fears. Anal sex can be done painlessly and cleanly. It's just a matter of preparation.

[DREAMER69]

We have discussed it a trillion times. She fully believes me when I have explained to her that I am very skilled at anal sex and that it was a very mutually rewarding part of my sex life with more than one of my past relationships. She knows I would never cause physical discomfort nor would I force anything that she doesn't like. She is a nurse by trade and I think she is just too hung up on the "exit only" mentality. She has cleaned too many sick patients at her job. All she ever says about anal sex is that "it's gross". We have watched anal porn, I have had her read on the internet about it and she has even talked to other woman who tell her that if the timing is right then it can be very pleasurable. She does not listen. I even got a silicon anal swizzle toy so we can explore. it is only 1/4" to 1/2" and she won't let me. I beg to lick her and she will rarley let me do that. It's sad because she now uses an 8x2 inch dildo on me and I have proved to her over and over that anal play can be extremely clean. It just doesn't float her boat. She sees how hard I cum when she shoves it in and out. I'm ranting, sorry.

[biwords]

I couldn't have summed up my thoughts as well as Herbwoman already has. A couple of questions, though. If you've discussed this a trillion times your wife must know how much you want to explore this. That being so, is there any prospect of her agreeing that you explore it with someone else? -- maybe on a try-it-once-and-report-back basis? Second, would there be any value in reviewing this thread with her? (I realize the answer may be "are you NUTS?", but felt it worth asking....)

[lickitall]

Hi dreamer~~I'm new here and have a very similar situation at home. However my wife loves anal play, rimming, and penetration. She has only used fingers on me twice in 7 years. I have inquired about a strap-on and she just said no. Maybe I "went for broke" too soon. I am also wanting to see what it would be like with the real thing.
No real advice, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and in fact, you are getting more anally than I. LOL

[Long Duck Dong]

the first thing that is going thru my head, dreamer, is that your wife is going thru the motions of learning about it, to get some peace

you mention that you want your wife to respect your sexual desires..... I am curious, why can't you accept her desire not to explore some areas ???

I remember a client once that during a session of counselling, turned to his wife and said, * thats it, we are gonna try anal, cos I wanna do it with you and I have tried everything in my power, and you are just being selfish and inconsiderate.....she looked at him and said * think of anal sex with, like divorce....its a once in a life time thing and the day you shove anything in my ass, is the day I shove divorce papers in your ass *

[Tommy2020]

out of context:... turned to his wife and said, * thats it, we are gonna try anal, cos I wanna do it with you and I have tried everything in my power, and you are just being selfish and inconsiderate.....she looked at him and said * think of anal sex with, like divorce....its a once in a life time thing and the day you shove anything in my ass, is the day I shove divorce papers in your ass out of context *

Hey LDD,

Is that like, 'what part of NO don't you understand... ?' :) :) :)

Tommy2020