Mother n law problems

[imtiffanys]

I've been holding back on asking this question for awhile now. I guess i should ask some advice before i pop. My bf and I live with his parents we are currently are saving up for a home and it's taking along time for that.. Well to my problem. I know it's her house and all and i respect that. Lately we've been off the road looking for a new trucking job and while being off i was suppose to be enjoying myself and it's not happening at all. I'm the one doing most of the house work feeding the dogs (we have alot.. we breed chihuahuas and yorkies) and it's a job to feed all of them takes about an hour 2 times a day. I clean ,wash dishes, make sure things are done, go grocery shopping. She bosses me around sometimes i know she doesn't mean it and don't get me wrong she's been so nice to me, and is a great woman we get along great. but how can i tell her to let me rest a little and let me enjoy my time off before i go back to work. I feel like ripping my hair out.. Oh and one thing she told me that her sister was bisexual and i blurted out that her and I have alot in common well come to find out she ISN'T bisexual at all and now my mother n law looks at me weird she has told me that she doesn't care about mysexual preference but it's just the looks she gives to me when ever we watch a show that has 2 girl kissing.. Am i just being paranoid in this situation and am i putting my feelings on my sleeve when it comes to her being bossy? pls help.. tiff :rolleyes:

[sexybicplinwv]

Honey!!! You and your boyfriend have to get your own place :) I hope am not steping on your toes by saying this be its true the only way 2 women can live together is if there a couple,And than they still have ups and downs. Oh and by the way i to try to live with my Mother n Law :( (((Always be true to yourself))) :bibounce:

[imtiffanys]

I know we have to get our own place... we are now in the process of saving to get our own home. It's rough saving when your having to buy stuff all that savings goes out the door.. but we are working on it.. tiff :female:

[Mrs.F]

It's always a difficult situation when living with the parents. Flounder moved into my parents home with me when he was in college. He couldn't get funding for college living at home because his parents made too much money, but yet could not afford to live on his own. I always felt like I was in the middle....my parents would complain about him and he would complain about them and yet I could see both sides as being right... :banghead: If your not at the point you can move out then my suggestion is to sit down with her and just say you deserve your time off too. But it will remain somewhat difficult until you are ready to move out. And trust me...they will still give their opinions on everything you do living on your own also. :banghead:
Good luck to you!

[Solomon]

sounds like you're caught between a rock and a hard spot... have ya thought of just biting the bullet and paying rent?

or is it really that important to own your own house?

personally, i don't see the point of staying stuck in a situation like that for the next twenty years to be able to afford buying a house.... but you're paying your own bills and it doesn't sound to me like it's really all that much of a hardship for ya....

i do wonder if your stepmom looking at ya wierd might be her dealing with feelings or something...

[Domino]

Ther eis probably not allot you can do in this situation, you don't want to start any fights between family memembers. You probably should think about leaving you can still save for a house but just get a cheaper rental. Your happyness is much more important.

[AstroGlide]

You are gonna have to vote with your feet. It may take a little longer and it may not be as pricey but, you need to have your own rental, tent, cave, whatever. I lived in that situation in the beginning of my first marraige and personally, I would rather live out of the back of my car that to go through that again.
I'm not trying to be harsh, but keeping your sanity, your boyfriend, and the blessings of your parents (in that order) will take your getting out and the sooner the better.

Just my :2cents: worth.

Hope it works for you
AstroGlide

[Herbwoman39]

I agree with Mrs. F. Sit her down and have a talk with her about how you're feeling. It's going to be difficult living by someone else's rules, especially as a grown adult handling your own life. But in the end you'll have a home you can call your own.

As for the chores, think of it as your way of paying the rent. She's not asking for money, just time and effort. And while that can be tiresome, it's not much more than you would be doing in your own house.

I grew up on my parents ranch in Wyoming and my mother is disabled. So guess who got to get up every morning before school, feed and water the animals, milk the goats, go out in hip deep snow to chip away the ice on the stock tank so the cows and horses would have water to drink and fill it all before I ate breakfast :bigrin:

Good luck hon.

[jedinudist]

Hon....

If at all possible, do this - :banghead: until you can get enough $ saved to get out of there!

It might be better to grit your teeth now and be able to live the rest or your lives together without having to deal with the perpetual aftermath of you standing up for your point of view.

I wish you both the best and hope you are able to get your own place SOON!

[welickit]

You say you are off the road and looking for another trucking job. Who does all this work when you are on the road? Maybe she is giving you a taste of her daily routine when everything is left up to her. If that is the case....No offense but we would kick your butt out and tell you to grow up. :2cents:

[imtiffanys]

You say you are off the road and looking for another trucking job. Who does all this work when you are on the road? Maybe she is giving you a taste of her daily routine when everything is left up to her. If that is the case....No offense but we would kick your butt out and tell you to grow up. :2cents:

That is a little harsh of a comment, Not mad at it at all, but you have no idea how hard i work on the road much harder than what some people do and to have to deal with hostile drivers and people WHO DON'T realize how hard it is.. Theres days when we don't sleep cause of the demands of people. I agree that she does work hard with keeping up with the dogs and the house work and i do my fair share with them also. I don't complain to anyone about the chores, It's just when i get my chance to have an actual "vacation" I would like enjoy it.. I'm not lazy in any way I help a great deal, but when you come home from being out a month maybe 2 months straight wouldn't you like to sit and enjoy not having to be cramped up in a small ass truck and enjoy your freedom for awhile. You try doing what i do and see if you would like your freedom once in a while. love tiff :female:

[bicurious-2006]

Why not look for a seller that's offering closing cost assistance? That, or I think you can get 80%/20% mortgages so you dont have to put anything down

[deletetacount123]

That is a little harsh of a comment, Not mad at it at all, but you have no idea how hard i work on the road much harder than what some people do and to have to deal with hostile drivers and people WHO DON'T realize how hard it is.. Theres days when we don't sleep cause of the demands of people. I agree that she does work hard with keeping up with the dogs and the house work and i do my fair share with them also. I don't complain to anyone about the chores, It's just when i get my chance to have an actual "vacation" I would like enjoy it.. I'm not lazy in any way I help a great deal, but when you come home from being out a month maybe 2 months straight wouldn't you like to sit and enjoy not having to be cramped up in a small ass truck and enjoy your freedom for awhile. You try doing what i do and see if you would like your freedom once in a while. love tiff :female:

My brother does the same kind of work as you do... hes in a trucking business, is often away for 2 or 3 months a time and when he comes home, he just wants to relax with his wife and 2 sons.. not having to worry about this and that. He only gets a week or so home before heading back out again.
So I know excatly what you mean :)

[bigbadmax]

hate to be the real male stereotype answer, but sounds like she needs a damn good fisting....maybe she was sounding you out to see if you could do it for her!

dont want to appear rude but we brits try and say it how it is...f*** the stiff upper lip.....its the lower regions which need to be stiff LMAO

keep smiling, and if you cant then leave her goddamn house and shack up in a caravan...its cheaper and more fun...besides you wont get coitus interuptus in your own place!

:tongue:

[Spicy]

Honey, first thing MOVE OUT! As long as you stay in that house she is going to boss you. It's her house. Once you get your own house the bossing stops, or may continue but to a lesser extent and then you atleast have a voice.
Good luck!

Spicy

[imtiffanys]

One thing that's holding us back from getting a house is the money issue we just did our taxes and it took most of our savings. Since we owned our own truck we did not pay taxes the company that we was leased to took care of that. Now we have to start over again.. To all that has responded or will respond to my ? I love my mother n law and would not, could not hurt her for nothing in this world.. she has been like a mother to me when mine wasn't... I'm not complaining on her i was just stressing and venting... Thanks to all that listened and has nice things other than a negative comment to say... love tiff. :female:

[cchalmer]

OK.......time for a bit of a reality check. First of all I spent 12 years as an OTR driver.....the last 6 of which I owned my own truck. When you guys finally buy your house do you plan on coming off the road and staying home??? You better because you can't leave a house unattended for that length of time. Sure you might get away with it for a little while but things will happen when you are not there and without someone there to stay on top of things it won't be long before your "dream home" becomes a nightmare. If you are planning to stay on the road with him then forget about buying a house....either stay where you are or rent. I don't know how old your truck is but if you think it's eating up your money now wait until things start really going wrong with it.

Not really the advice you were after but something to think about if you haven't all ready.

[welickit]

The wife and I both have CDL A licenses so we know just exactly what it is you do on the road. We have hauled everything from fuel oil to frieght and I beam steel out of Canada. If you think taking care of dogs and cleaning house is work, you are along for the ride.

[imtiffanys]

The wife and I both have CDL A licenses so we know just exactly what it is you do on the road. We have hauled everything from fuel oil to frieght and I beam steel out of Canada. If you think taking care of dogs and cleaning house is work, you are along for the ride.


You just missed my whole point there welickit.. I don't need your ill tempered comments on here. I need advice get it "advice". Your not giving me anything but a hard time... I think you need to grow up. :bibounce:

[imtiffanys]

OK.......time for a bit of a reality check. First of all I spent 12 years as an OTR driver.....the last 6 of which I owned my own truck. When you guys finally buy your house do you plan on coming off the road and staying home??? You better because you can't leave a house unattended for that length of time. Sure you might get away with it for a little while but things will happen when you are not there and without someone there to stay on top of things it won't be long before your "dream home" becomes a nightmare. If you are planning to stay on the road with him then forget about buying a house....either stay where you are or rent. I don't know how old your truck is but if you think it's eating up your money now wait until things start really going wrong with it.

Not really the advice you were after but something to think about if you haven't all ready.


Yeah i've thought about that alot.. I don't plan to stay with him on the truck long term, just to get away for a bit... But on the other hand i would like my own place to just you know be me.. not having to worry if i'm doing this right or that right, you know what i mean? tiff :bibounce:

[lilbitsva]

I tell you what really i dont know what to say to you about that because i'm living with my hubby mom and let me tell you i ain't happy about it at all. I'm having to pick up shit that i ain't doing. i'm so ready to leave that it's not funny. so i know where you are coming from. I can jsut tell you about with the whole looking thang if you say anything they are just going to say well you are in my house i will look at you any way that i want to . I know how that shit goes. I hate living hear. Because i have two little girls and she is always having something to say and i fell like i live her so i can't say nothing. But i tell you what i know what i'm going to do the next time that she does say something i'm going to say something. But you do what you feel in your heart is wright. lil bit