The guilt of Jonesing for Johnson

[ambi53mm]

First there was all those guilt ridden years of desires and fantasies that remained buried within…deep within…followed by the years of guilt ridden recollections of exploring the guilty pleasures that haunted my dreams and eventually spilled over into my waking life. Then there was the guilt of acceptance and the acceptance of guilt as though one needed the other to continue to function as a guilty pleasure. Then there was the guilt of not being true to oneself followed by the guilt of being true to oneself, because being true to oneself meant being true to oneself on the sly
Finally..open, honest, acceptance and understanding… and the guilt that I should be feeling guilty about not feeling guilt. Bisexual guilt while Jonesing for Johnson…sometimes it feels as though there is no escape....and if there was...would I really want to???

Ambi :)

[Solomon]

sounds like a scripture that i once read that didn't make it into the canon... "at first you'll be disturbed, and then you'll spend the rest of your life marveling".... just a respectful nugget i thought i'd share :cool:

[subrosa]

I am impressed by and can relate to both quotes. All my life I knew I was bi, but took it for granted and didn't feel guilty about my occasional indulgences. Life was bound to change, though, and now the guilt thing is front and center. I'm trying to "celebrate" my outing, and sometimes I can feel the relief of, so far, at least partially accepting it. But I feel guilty about lots more now than I ever did. I'm jonesing for johnson and I probably feel guilt about that, too...or I will as soon as I satisfy the jones. Will I?

[bi-robin-calif]

"at first you'll be disturbed, and then you'll spend the rest of your life marveling"

And those who came at first to scoff
Remained behind to pray.