sexuality acceptance for all

[Long Duck Dong]

a few nights ago I was in the chatroom, when a member started to make comments about how another member ( a female ) should leave and go to a site that caters for lesbian people, cos lesbians didn't belong in the site

now, that remark totally pissed me off...cos it illustrates just how narrow minded, bisexuals can be towards the understanding of bisexual and this sites * acceptance policy *

to my understanding, ALL are welcome in bisexual.com, as we are all part of the bisexual community, be it as a bisexual, a straight, a les /gay or a transgender...curious, closeted, out.....it makes NO difference... and thats a personal attitude I have as a bisexual....we have enuf judgmental bigotry in society without the members of the site, practicing it as well

when we start drawing the lines of what is accepted in the bisexual circle and what is not accepted, we are isolating ourselves from the rest of the world and saying * we are bisexual, conform or fuck off *
thats the same attitude we are facing from other groups in the world.. yet some of the groups with that attitude, are the same groups that are screaming about how they deserve to be accepted as part of the world

in this site, I have many friends, admirers and opponents, and we all share one thing in common....the site....OUR home....

so i am curious, why do members that in this site, think that being a member, automatically gives them the right to tell others, who are also members in this site, that they are not welcome in this site cos they don't fit the bisexual criteria ???

WTF is the bisexual criteria ???

seriously, is there a check list to qualify as a bisexual ???

if there is, I don't wanna see it, nobody has to qualify as a bisexual in my eyes, there is no hidden criteria for being a bisexual..... all i ask of people, is that they say * hi *...their sexuality is not important

therefore, you can be a trans gendered lesbian cock loving hermaphodite from venus and I will welcome you in the site... cos I am bloody sure that the sign above the door says * welcome to ALL and all are welcome *

for years now, I have been a outcast from most of society....much of society has judged me before they know me, and its not just cos of my sexuality... and in a past article, I noticed that a few of the groups i belong to, were refered to as * outcast * groups....gee thanks.....with a opinion like that, its not wonder that bisexuals are becoming the same as the thing they are fighting against....and that thing is socially judgmental and socially bigoted

[izzfan]

LDD, I can't say that I've ever been on the chatroom here [I tend to stick to the forums] but,as usual you have a very valid and interesting point. I mean, I have had enough problems with straight and gay people both trying to 'convince' me that I'm gay rather than bisexual at various times. Personally, I only use the label bisexual because it is the closest term I can think of to describe my sexuality. I suppose I should use the term 'complex' to describe it as that probably sums me up better [as my sexuality consists of a strange mix of bisexuality,Cross-dressing/ sometimes very mildly transgendered and various BDSM fantasies/fetishes]. Even so, I have found this site to be a very welcoming place.

I mean, it shocks me to think that some people still believe that there is a fixed criteria for what counts as bisexual. I mean, if we are to go on only sexual partners then I reckon at least a quarter of bisexual people on this site would be excluded. The only criteria for bisexuality is attractions [I may prefer sleeping with men but that's not to say I don't find women very attractive]. Even so, I think its great that this site is such an inclusive place with a diverse range of sexualities etc...

Just a shame a few people seem to take such a narrow view of this site.

Just my :2cents:

Izzfan :flag3:

[Herbwoman39]

LDD, there is, in my opinion, absolutely NO excuse for what she said. That just pisses me off to no end! And worse, it makes ME look like a liar and I am NOT pleased at that notion.

Less than a week ago someone new came into the chat room and they happened to mention that a gay friend of theirs would really like it here. So, being the good Bisexual.com Welcome Wagon hostess I am, I told him that his friend would be more than welcome here because *everyone* is welcome here regardless of sexuality.

So when that woman said that someone should go to a lesbian site because she didn't fit some nonsensical profile, that just makes me angry, and sad at the same time.

When I was searching for answers when I first discovered I might be Bi just over 2 years ago, I was told on another site that I wasn't Bi because I hadn't slept with a woman. Which, I now know is total bullshit.

It's the same thing in this situation. NO ONE has a right to decry another's sexuality. And to do it in our HOME no less, is inexcusable!

[Long Duck Dong]

it was a guy that told the female she should go to a lesbian site, lol

it happens to be a lady that I highly respect and is well liked in the site and as she commented, it was not unusual for her to put this male on ignore, cos of his attitude, and within a few minutes, she put him on ignore, lol, from what i can gather, its not the first time

[darkeyes]

I dont know if this was the same instance but I too was in chat when some silly cow made a statement about lesbians not being welcome. My flatmate is gay and she has no wish to be a member of the site but that is her choice. Unlike many lesbians and gay people she accepts that bisexuality exists and does not believe in wasting her breath in convincing us we are in fact gay. I am just glad she did not see the stupid remark, for while she thinks we are an odd lot, respects our choice, and will defend our right to be what we are to the enth degree. I was ashamed that such a crazy and selfish and bigotted comment was made on a site I care about, has given me so much and know is anything but.

Gay men, lesbians an bisexual people have more in common than seperates us. We are all outcasts from mainstream society, less so than once maybe in many parts of the world, but we are hardly welcomed with open arms by most parts of that society. It is not coincidence that so many Lesbian Gay and Bisexual societies have grown up encompassing us all. I refuse to accept that our interests are not best served as a united group, and shall always argue that we do so. Gay men and lesbian women are welcomed into my home, I selected a lesbian woman as my flatmate and I have many other friends and aquaintances who are gay and lesbian. I could not hold my head up and face those friends I love so very much if I allowed such insanity and intolerance to go uncriticised and unchecked!

Many of us are str8, and are members who are here as support for their loved ones. Other str8 people are here for advice and help to come to terms with the fact that their husband wife son daughter is bisexual and wish to learn. We do not and should not ever deny them that support and our love. We can do no less for our gay brothers and sisters some of whom have exactly the same kind of problems with partner or children. We must never fall into the trap of making ouselves exclusively a bisexual site, for that insular and selfish approach would draw justified criticism from all quarters, and to be quite frank I would not feel able to continue as a member in such circumstances.

We live with, sleep with, and make love to gay and lesbian partners. To many of us they are our love and our life. We get off with, get laid by and have gay as well as bisexual boyfriends and girlfriends. We love for who a person is not what their sexuality happens to be. Just so with those who wish to be members of this site.

I am just so grateful Drew is no fool and would not allow such a stupid change to be made in membership policy. Such a change would make us as sexually fascist as we know many of our opponents to be.

[darkeyes]

it was a guy that told the female she should go to a lesbian site, lol



So we have at least 2 instances huh? Sad... :(

[bi-robin-calif]

WTF is the bisexual criteria ???
It's quite simple:

If you're a woman: no flannel shirts, because that makes you a lesbian. If you're a guy, eliminate the word "fabulous" from your vocabulary, because only gay men say it.

But the ultimate bisexual criteria: have a lot of purple and lavendar in your wardrobe.

Hope this helps you on your way to sartorial and linguistic splendor...

[noostoo]

It's quite simple:

If you're a woman: no flannel shirts, because that makes you a lesbian. If you're a guy, eliminate the word "fabulous" from your vocabulary, because only gay men say it.

But the ultimate bisexual criteria: have a lot of purple and lavendar in your wardrobe.

Hope this helps you on your way to sartorial and linguistic splendor...

Do I need to go out and buy some left-handed golf clubs now so I can swing both ways? :bigrin:

[Herbwoman39]

It's quite simple:

If you're a woman: no flannel shirts.


But, but, but...I LIKE flannel! It's warm and soft and they make pretty patterns on it. :bigrin:

I used to have this great yellow, black and red flannel shirt hat I loved until my ex ruined it in an accidental(?) laundry fiasco. Maybe he knew somethin I didn't ;)

[deletetacount123]

But, but, but...I LIKE flannel! It's warm and soft and they make pretty patterns on it. :bigrin:

I used to have this great yellow, black and red flannel shirt hat I loved until my ex ruined it in an accidental(?) laundry fiasco. Maybe he knew somethin I didn't ;)

Are you sure it was an accident?? lol

I used to have flannel jammies bottoms!!! Both long and boxers shorts.
So soft!! lol I wore EVERY night to bed (or just hanging around the house) lol

Don't worry Maria, Im another gal that likes Flannel! :)

[Fire Lotus]

I
But the ultimate bisexual criteria: have a lot of purple and lavendar in your wardrobe.


Ahaa! So that is why Prince wears so much purple! *Adds him to the list* :tongue:

[flexuality]

Do I hafta hide my flannel jamies??

but...but...they're so...so......CUDDLY!!!!

Herbie...Tashy....We're gonna be known as the "Flannel Gang!" :tong:

ok...so there not the *ONLY* jamies I have...... :bigrin:

[flexuality]

It's quite simple:

If you're a woman: no flannel shirts, because that makes you a lesbian. If you're a guy, eliminate the word "fabulous" from your vocabulary, because only gay men say it.

But the ultimate bisexual criteria: have a lot of purple and lavendar in your wardrobe.

Hope this helps you on your way to sartorial and linguistic splendor...

Purple? Oh phew! I'm covered! lol!!

Ummm...I do have a question tho......what if you have flannel AND you say fabulous AND you have lots of purple in your wardrobe?? :tong:

[flexuality]

Do I need to go out and buy some left-handed golf clubs now so I can swing both ways? :bigrin:

Only if they're purple. :bigrin:

[Herbwoman39]

Do I hafta hide my flannel jamies??

but...but...they're so...so......CUDDLY!!!!

Herbie...Tashy....We're gonna be known as the "Flannel Gang!" :tong:

ok...so there not the *ONLY* jamies I have...... :bigrin:


Cool! We'll have to make a pink, blue and purple flannel flag and fly it from the flagpole of where the notorious "Flannel Gang" meets! We'll talk about decorating and wear lots of purple and maybe red hats....uhm, wait... Doesn't some other group do that already ;)

[flexuality]

Cool! We'll have to make a pink, blue and purple flannel flag and fly it from the flagpole of where the notorious "Flannel Gang" meets! We'll talk about decorating and wear lots of purple and maybe red hats....uhm, wait... Doesn't some other group do that already ;)

Heheehe!

You just gave me an idea!! (uh oh...this could be dangerous! lol!!! :bigrin: )

I LOVE playing with make-up! Sometimes I draw a small design on one cheekbone just below and back from my eye...kinda just beneath the temple.

I've done all kinds of different designs and was even looking for a stamp or something to make it easier.....

I should do a BI-flag and see what kind of reactions I get! LOL!!! :tong:

[funkycat36]

Hi
I am a woman in a monogomous longterm relationship with a woman. I am still sexually attracted to men and consider myself to be bi-sexual. I was relieved when I found this site as I thought I could finally chat to other people that perhaps felt the same or at least similar.

Looks like I was wrong - how sad :-(

I feel stuck in the middle. My lesbians friends don't understand how I feel and think it is just a phase.

I came on here to share experiences and I have so far found it disappointing. I was telling my girlfriend the other night that few people ever respond to my postings - maybe I have just found out why?!

I spent many years struggling with my feelings for women and finally accepted myself as a lesbian. To then realise that I also have feelings for men and to know that I have to go through the whole process again is terrifying.

Changing how you view yourself is a hard task whatever your sexual attractions and feelings.

Its a shame that we can't just all be supportive to each other, we all know how painful and lonely it can be at times.

[Long Duck Dong]

hugs ya funky..... I love everybody, I just don't understand most of them lol

we do get the odd person in bisexual.com that feels that the site is exclusively for certain groups....just ignore them.....if bisexual.com was purely exclusive, 90% of the members wouldn't be here

[noostoo]

Funky, I had some insight into your situation a few years back when I was in the Marlborough in Brighton for New Year with a lesbian crowd. On of our group snogged the straight male friend she had brought with her and she had a lot of trouble with her friends understanding the situation.

I'm now struggling to deal with my feelings towards men which have been repressed for years and can foresee similar prejudice at times. I have found solace here recently and I think you should stick with it. There's a lot of people and threads here who've helped me but I think with this type of forum you have to learn to ignore a lot of the cliquey meanderings which sometimes take threads off topic. I took a while to think that it was worth hanging around but last weekend was a massive turning point when the forum really helped me work through some things.

[onewhocares]

Well, imagine my surprise when my boss walked in this morning and found me doubled up in laughter at this post. He thought that I was having a fit. A fit to be sure. I think that this thread is a perfect little ditty after alot of negative comments around our home.

I say " our" home, because that is they way that I look upon it. Now I, yes I have admitted it before am not bi, my hubby is. I am one of "those" that came here for understanding, answers, and trying to find the right path for us. What "I" found were FRIENDS. Friends from all parts of the world, all races, all cultures..all so much more. What they did have in common is belonging here and have an open mind and an open heart. Granted, I am a really lucky that I have met so many, twenty or so at this point, in person, and I know that the people that I met in person are just the people I chat with on the site. In my humble opinion, all are welcome, and Herbwoman, I too am a welcome wagon of sorts from Massachusetts. Love to do that. I thought the Welcome Wagon people wore gold, but I think that I shall change to lavender...we could also have a song....Purple Rain. Wonder if we could design comfy purle plaid boxer shorts....easy to get into and out of............just a thought. Flex..you are hysterical.

Ok, I have composed myself, and shall get back to work!

Belle

[darkeyes]

Well, imagine my surprise when my boss walked in this morning and found me doubled up in laughter at this post. He thought that I was having a fit. A fit to be sure. I think that this thread is a perfect little ditty after alot of negative comments around our home.

I say " our" home, because that is they way that I look upon it. Now I, yes I have admitted it before am not bi, my hubby is. I am one of "those" that came here for understanding, answers, and trying to find the right path for us. What "I" found were FRIENDS. Friends from all parts of the world, all races, all cultures..all so much more. What they did have in common is belonging here and have an open mind and an open heart. Granted, I am a really lucky that I have met so many, twenty or so at this point, in person, and I know that the people that I met in person are just the people I chat with on the site. In my humble opinion, all are welcome, and Herbwoman, I too am a welcome wagon of sorts from Massachusetts. Love to do that. I thought the Welcome Wagon people wore gold, but I think that I shall change to lavender...we could also have a song....Purple Rain. Wonder if we could design comfy purle plaid boxer shorts....easy to get into and out of............just a thought. Flex..you are hysterical.

Ok, I have composed myself, and shall get back to work!

Belle God no belle..me looks awful in purple. An in lavender wud remind me of me grannie.... wotya tryin 2 do 2 me???

[12voltman59]

It is a bummer we do seem to have a dissing convention going on here at the site both on the forum and in the chat room--

I guess it just goes to show that "folks are folks" irrespective of however they define themselves----

I hope that the incivility that some have experienced here does not drive them away---in spite of the shortcomings on the site of late---this is still a good place to come spend time at...

And even though its almost becoming a joke and a cliche---like Rodney King said: "Can't we all just get along???"

[bi-robin-calif]

Do I need to go out and buy some left-handed golf clubs now so I can swing both ways? :bigrin:

No, but I'd be happy to help you with your backhand :rolleyes:

[bi-robin-calif]

Ummm...I do have a question tho......what if you have flannel AND you say fabulous AND you have lots of purple in your wardrobe??

Um, polyestersexual?

[AstroGlide]

Wow.... a really cool thread. And filled with persons of great inteligence. I love reading these threads that feature things like some of my favorite people all on one place and also..... also.... flannel. I have some flannel bed sheets and a cover sheet that are soooooooo great during the winter months. And when you sleep in your birthday suit as I do, it just feels soooooooo good. Everyone have a 'fabulous' day.

:grouphug:
AstroGlide

P.S. I just had a thought.... finding this thread is kinda like Christmas. You know opening the gifts that you all have to offer. Luvya all

[dangerous_unicorn]

trans gendered lesbian cock loving hermaphodite from venus

I'm sorry that is the funnest thing i have ever seen good one LDD

[flexuality]

Um, polyestersexual?

LOL!!!

except that flannel is COTTON, and I hate polyester....eew....icky...makes ya sweaty and.....blech!

hmm...flanfabpursexual? :tong:

[flexuality]

God no belle..me looks awful in purple. An in lavender wud remind me of me grannie.... wotya tryin 2 do 2 me???

For u we got Burgundy....or Periwinkle....orchid? :tong:

[Herbwoman39]

LOL!!!

except that flannel is COTTON, and I hate polyester....eew....icky...makes ya sweaty and.....blech!

hmm...flanfabpursexual? :tong:

THAT would be flantabuous! :tong: :tong: :tong:

[nothings5d]

I was told on another site that I wasn't Bi because I hadn't slept with a woman.
If that were true I wouldn't be gay, straight, or bi...