Is it bad to want to tell the world I LIKE WOMEN!?!?

[tanyaa88]

*sigh* i hate not knowing what i should do, i want to tell the world that i'm bi ( well like women a tad more than guys ) but bi non the less....but then part of me is like..hhhmmm...what if it gets back to my little sister some how..she shouldnt know how to deal with it ( shes 11 ) but then it my life..ARGH ...i dont know what to do, its like im living to completly different lives, my family life ( straight ) and my life ( ME )which well to me isnt all that good or well healthy :tong: gggrr.... and well my other "dilema" is that my "gay dar" is shit...and well im not the greatest flirter and blah blah blah i dont always hang out at the bars in the village because well my friends like going non village bar/clubs, and i hate always saying that i want to go to the village...why does life have to be so BLAHHHH!!!!...all i really want to do is meet someone nice that makes me happy and that i can make happy..i think thats what this whole thing comes down to...meh maybe just writing this initial "post" is geared to make you solve your own "dilemas" wow..anyways if anyone has a comment i greatly appreciate you taking your time to read my BLAH BLAH BLAH NESS!!
HUGS!!!

[flexuality]

I have no idea what to suggest you do.

But I agree with ya...sometimes it's great just to post it and get it out! :tong:

I think that's a woman's "processing" thing.....it's all good tho! :rolleyes:

[darkeyes]

*sigh* i hate not knowing what i should do, i want to tell the world that i'm bi ( well like women a tad more than guys ) but bi non the less....but then part of me is like..hhhmmm...what if it gets back to my little sister some how..she shouldnt know how to deal with it ( shes 11 ) but then it my life..ARGH ...i dont know what to do, its like im living to completly different lives, my family life ( straight ) and my life ( ME )which well to me isnt all that good or well healthy :tong: gggrr.... and well my other "dilema" is that my "gay dar" is shit...and well im not the greatest flirter and blah blah blah i dont always hang out at the bars in the village because well my friends like going non village bar/clubs, and i hate always saying that i want to go to the village...why does life have to be so BLAHHHH!!!!...all i really want to do is meet someone nice that makes me happy and that i can make happy..i think thats what this whole thing comes down to...meh maybe just writing this initial "post" is geared to make you solve your own "dilemas" wow..anyways if anyone has a comment i greatly appreciate you taking your time to read my BLAH BLAH BLAH NESS!!
HUGS!!!

Tanyaa hun...its no more bad than telling people ya like butter on ya toast, and probably a bloody sight better for ya! May however raise a few more eyebrows!

May ya get ya hearts desire hun. Be happy. x

[yoyo4u]

.... taking your time to read my BLAH BLAH BLAH......
Tanyaa hun...!!!!!

All is OK :) , take it from me....I like them too!

love
yoyo :)

[Rhuth]

Hey, Tanyaa,

I never understood why telling children about sexual orientation was bad. I understand telling them graphic detail before they are ready can be damaging. When we explain marriage and relationships to them, why can't we also say, "and some boys like boys, girls like girls, and some people like both"? They certainly figure this out on their own by the age of 11.

My son is 11 like your sister. Last year, he confronted me about my going out with girls. He could tell it was not just hanging out with friends like I was trying to pretend for the kids. He knew what the word "bisexual" meant. I never defined it for him. I am pretty sure the schools do not cover bisexuality. So the kids are talking about it in grade school. His main concerns were whether his family was staying together, and consent. After that, he did not want any more detail. He seems to be dealing with it really well.

You are right. It is your life. You can be bisexual with or without your family knowing. And their knowledge or lack thereof will probably have nothing to do with you finding that certain someone who makes you happy.

*hugs*
Rhuth

[DuskTillDawn]

I have a similar problem. I really want the world to know im bi but at the same time im terrified of the consequences ( having to explain my self to various family member and friends in my case). If only there was an easy solution!

I also agree with what Rhuth said, 11 year olds these days know way more about things like sexuality tan the used to, im shocked at how early kids are becomin teens these days! I've seen 8 yr olds with gelled or straightened hair, whats with that???!!

Basically I think if telling the world is what u need to do, you shud. Your sister shud cope fine so long as she's spared the gory details, 11 isnt as young as it seems ( sex ed starts at about 9 at schools in scotland anyway if that puts it in context).

Remember, its ur life and if its something u need to get off ur chest every1 else will get used to it. (shame i dont have the guts to take my own advice!)

:tongue: :bibounce:

[noostoo]

( sex ed starts at about 9 at schools in scotland anyway if that puts it in context).

Things have changed since I was in primary school in Scotland. :eek: ;)

I was in therapy this afternoon and we were discussing the reasons why I suppressed my attraction to men when I was younger. Sex was never discussed in our house so there was no obvious negative or positive view of homosexuality. One of the possibilities was that my parents tried to play down and discourage my "unhealthy" obsession with my best friend's older brother. Whatever it was, a decent and non-judgemental sex education in school may have helped me work out who I was when I should have instead of at 37.

In an effort to address the main subject of the thread, I want my close friends to know but I don't feel it necessary to go out of my way to tell people about my sexuality. Saying that, I'm just feeling my way at the moment but to me, "out" is not hiding your sexuality rather than announcing it to the world.

As far as familly goes - my initial feeling was not to tell them but right now I feel I probably need to but I'm in no rush

[Frodo]

...tricky situation, for sure...

I think you really shouldn't worry about telling a child about your liking...actually I think that if we want the world to gradually become a world more and more open and eventually indifferent to whatever your orientation is we have to be open to children...right? I mean...if a kid learns right from the start that being gay or bi or whatever doesn't make you less of a good person then that's good I think... :)

[DanyGirl]

Tanyaa88, when I read your post I almost fell off my chair! I thought I was reading about myself! That is until I got to the part about your sister being 11 and the village...I don't think where I live is big enough for a village but anyway...not the point.

Just within the last couple weeks, with the help of this site, I have come to accept my sexual orientation as part of myself but am so excited by this that I also want to tell everyone that will listen. Of course I have not and instead opted for the more subtle approach of simply no longer spending ridiculous amounts of energy on being guarded when I talk about relationships or potential love interests.

I am not out to my family as I am pretty sure my Dad couldn't handle it but I am very close to my little sister (except she's 21, not 11) and she has access to my blog and facebook, etc and I am fearful I might slip or some of my friends who I am out to may slip one day, my sister would read this and would out me to my parents (love the kids but she can't keep a secret).

As for the village I would suggest striking a balance with your friends. Say Friday to the village, Saturday to the other club scene or this week village, next week other club scene or whatever. Like I said, I have no village but my friends are really supportive of my preferences (I am suspicious that at least one of them also has tendencies towards women but keeps quiet) so what we sometimes do is go to our cowboy club and then to the strippers (yes, I have an issue with objectifying women but, also do not have many other outlets). Keep everyone happy. Also, maybe making more friends within the LGBT community in your city (although I know that is easier said than done).

Hope that something in this really long post is helpful to you. I was certainly comforted to read your post and hear of someone experiencing similar struggles. Best wishes to you.

[DanyGirl]

Ah and one more thing...my "gaydar" also sucks!

[deletetacount123]

My gaydar isn't that bad..... but sometimes it sucks too lol

I would love to know if someone can use thier gaydar on me and tell me what they pick up lol

[tanyaa88]

hey all thank you very much for posting..greatly appreciate it:D
oh and well im out-ish to my parents and older sister(20) My mom actually caught me in bed with thei girl i was seeing.:P was interesting convo after that..and i get what everyone says about kdis these days knowing alot and all that..after all my little sis goes to public school so...but i was just htinking that little kids can be crewl litle bastards to one another and i dont want my little sister to be teased because of me and well i dont know how she would react ..meh i think i shall wait till i tell m little sis...:)

[RebekaLee]

hey all thank you very much for posting..greatly appreciate it:D
oh and well im out-ish to my parents and older sister(20) My mom actually caught me in bed with thei girl i was seeing.:P was interesting convo after that..and i get what everyone says about kdis these days knowing alot and all that..after all my little sis goes to public school so...but i was just htinking that little kids can be crewl litle bastards to one another and i dont want my little sister to be teased because of me and well i dont know how she would react ..meh i think i shall wait till i tell m little sis...:)

my big sister came out as lesbian when my little sister was probably 12ish. i know what i felt finding about my big sis (joey)...but for my lil sis (rachel)...i don't know exactly what she felt. but i don't remember her having problems with it. it probably just answered her questions of why joey never had a boyfriend but i did. haha it will probably be differnt for your lil sis at first...especially if you were raised in a conservtive family. but i bet that once it soaks in she will be fine with it. and possibly look up to you more for being able to be yourself.

as far as the gaydar thing...if you figure it out let me know. i've been out (to family and friends) for a little over a year now. i am still nervous when it comes to other women. don't know how to flirt...and don't wanna accidentally flirt w/the straight ones and make them feel weird.

anyway...all this outting of big sis was about 6 or 7 years ago (omg, i'm getting old!). things are fine...family still thinks that it is just a phase for me...and they think big sis is just doing it b/c she has men issues. but the little sister has never had problems with either me or big sis. (big sis is lesbian, i'm bi, little sis is straight)

whether you choose to come out or not to your sister and others i wish you the best luck. just do what you makes you feel best...this is your life. oh, and keep us posted! :female: