Overeaters

[noostoo]

Hi all - this is my first "new thread" so be gentle ;)

I've only been accepting my feelings towards men in the last 4 weeks but in that time something incredible has been happening.

I'm 37 and have been overweight all my life. Part of my weight problem is the fact that I binge on chocolate and crisps (aka potato chips) when I'm depressed. In November 2005 I had a small heart attack and although I didn't have cholesterol problems because of my diet and smoking was central to it, my weight was a contributory factor. In the aftermath of the heart attack I treated myself better, ate better, exercised and started therapy.

Even though I have made fantastic progress through therapy I still found myself overeating when things weren't going great even though I knew how potentially detrimental this was to my long term health. I had addressed a lot of my self-hatred issues but there was still something "big" driving me to the negative overeating behaviour.

Since I've started accepting and exploring my sexuality, my tendencies to overeat have been in decline and I can see a bright future ahead. Even though my emotions have been all over the place and this morning especially I've been in tears quite a lot I'm not seeing food as the answer.

Have any others out there had similar experiences? Emotional repression is an incredibly powerful thing and this release has been the most significant effect of my acceptance of my sexuality.

[Krystal]

Self acceptance is the most wonderful thing whether it be for sexuality oor anythng else in your life.... simply accepting you are you brings about a powerful change in your life ....(cause this is how i have felt the past few weeks but not about my sexuality) JMO :bigrin:

[Frodo]

Hey noostoo :)

I have very similar experiences, allthough they may not look much alike on the first glance. I'm not actually overweight,rather tend towards the other extreme. But I binge, too...sometimes at least, and that always happens when I feel particulary bad or stressed about stuff. Dreadful habbit...I try distract myself either by exercising or taking a bath whenever I feel that I might loose control, but I don't always succeed and every other month end up stuffing my face with literally everything I can lay hands on.

I always try to be myself and just do whatever I want...and I think most of the time I suceed. Still, I can't seem to get rid of this issue, sadly :(

[sexybicplinwv]

Hello!! Food dont judge who you are. (((Always be true to yourself))) :female:

[sexybicplinwv]

I would like to say food dont judge who you are thats why it so easy to use as a lover. :female: (((Always be true to yourself))) :bibounce:

[mistymockingbird]

Hello noostoo, welcome to the boards.

I've had a similar experience. I've struggled with eating disorders for years. Some flirtation with anorexia when I was in hs, but mostly binge eating disorder. (For those of you that don't know, binge eating disorder is like bulimia with out the purging.) There have definitely been some very dark days for me. My issues with food have always been rooted in stress and feelings of inadequacy. I'm competitive and type-a.

I started really treating the disorder a little over a year ago. About the same time my divorce finalized. I had a lot of baggage to deal with and a lot of motivation for change. I started working out. I overhauled my diet. Started finding healthier ways to channel the feelings that used to inspire binges. I started a blog, I started writing music again. I've also found that cleaning will soothe the urge. I used to bottle up my feelings and hide them from the world. I don't do that anymore.

So I'm in a better place now. I've still got a long way to go. I still feel fat, even though I get told all the time that I'm beautiful, even though I keep having to buy smaller clothes because of weight I'm losing. I still feel the urge to binge sometimes, I'm just better now at recognizing that feeling. I've started listening and paying attention to my body. My body has very definite reactions to stress and when I see those signals I know there are things I have to change if I want to continue to be healthy.

Posting a link to a blog entry I wrote about this very topic. http://themockingbirdsings.wordpress.com/2006/04/21/my-body-is-my-temple/

The road to acceptance and self-love is a long one, and its not always easy. Congratulations on the progress you've made. I wish you much luck in the future.

[noostoo]

Thanks for the replies guys - some touching stories - the waterworks got going there for a minute.

Mistymockingbird - so much resonates with me about your story in the blog. The planning, the chips first - sweets after and always alone.

I was reminded of a few weeks ago when I was walking home from work and saw an ambulance in the distance with the victim of a road accident obviously lying in the road being treated by the paramedics. Something in that got to me, either to do with the heart attack or when I was knocked off my bike about 8 years ago - the two times I've been a guest in an ambulance. I was crying in the street and after a while of being in a daze, I went into binge autopilot. While being fully aware of what I was doing and feeling like an alcoholic in a movie I went and bought lots of food and went home and ate it.

The strange thing about what I related in my original post is that it's been like a switch in my head in the last week. I bought a bar of dark chocolate last Wednesday and I'm eating the last of it (very slowly) right now. It has been eaten in a total of three evenings and one afternoon and the rest of the time I just didn't think about it. Not normal for me and it feels great.

Rhuth - please post that pm if you want - I think it's more than appropriate to the thread.

[mistymockingbird]

I went into binge autopilot. While being fully aware of what I was doing and feeling like an alcoholic in a movie I went and bought lots of food and went home and ate it.

I know exactly how that feels. It's the worst feeling in the world to be completely aware of what you're doing, to know you don't want to do it, but be unable to stop yourself. There have also been times when I've made it all the way to the store and standing in the cookie aisle have forced myself to call my best friend (who happens to be a therapist) so I could distract myself long enough to get through the urge.

If binge foods aren't around, I'm ok. The struggle for me now is getting through the moments when the urge to get in my car and go get them is so strong. Those days are fewer and farther between now and I'm grateful for that.

[TorontoGuy2007]

overeating can certainly become a "coping mechanism" for people who are dealing with stress, anxiety, depression, or some other sort of personal dilema.

the fact that you have accepted your bisexuality is obviously a weight off your shoulders. i'm sure you are feeling relieved and excited about the future. that is great to hear that you have cut down on the overeating.

i've always been a big eater, but i think it was more as a bad habit.

since i've identified myself as a transsexual, i have an entire new reason to be motivated to lose weight and develop an atheletic body. sure, i deal with all sorts of challenging emotional issues, stress, etc, but i've managed to force myself to watch what i eat, no matter what..

i'm not one to put a label on any particular group, but i must say that almost every overweight person i know is dealing with various problems and issues..