Meeting new friends with benefits

[BicuriousWA]

I'm sure this has been asked before and I hope I don't sound very naive. This is not about cruising for sex. I'm wondering how a person can send subtle signals in public that they are approachable to other bi men while not broadcasting it to the entire world? Or am I being ridiculously optimistic? For some reason, I'm not very perceptive at picking up on whether or not someone is flirting with men even with women. Its almost as if I have to be hit over the head with a mallet. I'm just curious to get anyone's opinion.

[happyjoe68]

I'm sure this has been asked before and I hope I don't sound very naive. This is not about cruising for sex. I'm wondering how a person can send subtle signals in public that they are approachable to other bi men while not broadcasting it to the entire world? Or am I being ridiculously optimistic? For some reason, I'm not very perceptive at picking up on whether or not someone is flirting with men even with women. Its almost as if I have to be hit over the head with a mallet. I'm just curious to get anyone's opinion.

Join the club ...

[bi-robin-calif]

BiCurious, I have the same problem. Maybe the next time I visit my daughters in Seattle, you and I should get together and practice our signals... :rolleyes:

[my-00-stang]

i am in the same boat i can't pick up on it or figure out how to send out subtle hints. i try the staring or looking them up and down but they probably think i am just a weirdo

[BicuriousWA]

BiCurious, I have the same problem. Maybe the next time I visit my daughters in Seattle, you and I should get together and practice our signals... :rolleyes:

:bigrin: That would be fun. lol. Now that I think of it maybe I should have asked for opinions on how to interpret signals as well. Foiled by a lack of foresight again. Damn!!!! :tongue:

[BicuriousWA]

i am in the same boat i can't pick up on it or figure out how to send out subtle hints. i try the staring or looking them up and down but they probably think i am just a weirdo

I've been given the same advice in the past. Such gems as stare at their crotch or smile suggestively (however in the hell that is done) and maintain eye contact. I don't really want to get into a fight because I smiled or stared at the crotch of the wrong man. Once again, maybe I should have focused on reading the signs instead of sending them. Hopefully, a voice of reason will step in and salvage the thread. ;)

[TrimBeardHairyBod]

When someone of the same sex shows more interest in you as a person than you'd otherwise expect, that could well be a sign they wish to go further. That's my experience anyway....


John / TrimBeardHairyBod

[Tom41bimwm]

if only they had something like "bidar", you know like "gaydar". i have one gay friend, and he swears that he can pick the gay men out of a crowd. i'm clueless about what signs he's catching. i did notice once that when a guy keeps looking at you, what you'll want to do is smile back. if he does, then you may have a shot or could get a swift kick in the balls, who knows. i'm still like in same boat as all. damn 'bidar" isn't acting up!

[Cerealk]

lol, maybe we should launch some kind of secret codes that bisexuals would eventually all share! At the university im at its almost only guys, like 90%. I mean, its a lot of potential "victims", but its quite hard to figure out which are straight since theres almost no girl to flirt around. =/

[jedinudist]

If you figure this out, please let me know- I don't have a clue :(

[FerociousFeline]

Me too.

I think we should do something like turning from the object of your attention and clasping hands together over small of your back with left hand over right holding only four fingers of right hand.

Something like that. SOMETHING though.


FF

[sexybicplinwv]

I would just love to meet these friends :) (((The can show up any time now))) :female: (((Always be true to yourself))) :flag3:

[DiamondDog]

Most bi men don't hang out in gay bars/clubs or don't go to queer bars/clubs, and don't respond to flirting in public, especially if they are with their wife/girlfriend and are closeted.

The majority of bisexual men are married and cheat, married and don't want to cheat/fuck up their marriage, or they're married to women but don't think of themselves as being bisexual. If they're closeted they usually don't want anything to do with out queer men and I think that they're jealous of men who are out.

This isn't a flame or bad stereotype since it is the truth and it's what I've encountered here on this site, other sites, from talking to people, and in public.

As far as putting signs out that you're bi or having "bi dar" I do both of these things. I do it so well that people can easily tell that I'm bi.

I get flirted by men and women a lot and I just take it as a compliment and unless I'm interested in the person or they're my type I'll just move on, or compliment them back.

I have good gaydar/intution and I have good bi dar too since I can pick out bisexual men and women in crowded bars even in het bars/clubs, a lot of times even before talking to them, or even without talking to them.

I can even do it online like I'll click on someone's profile on a dating site, and they'll turn out to be bi.

I do happen to get flirted a lot in public by gay men but I don't mind that at all. ;)

I think that a lot of it has to do with learning how to read people's face/body language, apperance, picking up on clues that they don't say, and other things.

People can apparently read my queer sexuality really well just by my facial/body language, apperance, and mannerisms. Even some heterosexuals can do this.

I can usually tell if a guy is closeted or not as it's rather kinda obvious.

I'm not really sure how I do any of this it just comes naturally to me and it's not something I do on purpose and I think a lot of it just has to do with being able to tell my own type.

I don't care if I get pegged as being homosexual since I'm pretty equal in my attractions and I have equal flexibility with men and women but I relate a lot better to men, particularly queer men in general.

I was telling a hetero friend about being flirted/cruised on and reading people, and he had no idea what I was talking about and said how couldn't tell if someone was queer or not and how he'd only met a few people like that.

[BicuriousWA]

Most bi men don't hang out in gay bars/clubs or don't go to queer bars/clubs, and don't respond to flirting in public, especially if they are with their wife/girlfriend and are closeted.

The majority of bisexual men are married and cheat, married and don't want to cheat/fuck up their marriage, or they're married to women but don't think of themselves as being bisexual. If they're closeted they usually don't want anything to do with out queer men and I think that they're jealous of men who are out.

This isn't a flame or bad stereotype since it is the truth and it's what I've encountered here on this site, other sites, from talking to people, and in public.

As far as putting signs out that you're bi or having "bi dar" I do both of these things. I do it so well that people can easily tell that I'm bi.

I get flirted by men and women a lot and I just take it as a compliment and unless I'm interested in the person or they're my type I'll just move on, or compliment them back.

I have good gaydar/intution and I have good bi dar too since I can pick out bisexual men and women in crowded bars even in het bars/clubs, a lot of times even before talking to them, or even without talking to them.

I can even do it online like I'll click on someone's profile on a dating site, and they'll turn out to be bi.

I do happen to get flirted a lot in public by gay men but I don't mind that at all. ;)

I think that a lot of it has to do with learning how to read people's face/body language, apperance, picking up on clues that they don't say, and other things.

People can apparently read my queer sexuality really well just by my facial/body language, apperance, and mannerisms. Even some heterosexuals can do this.

I can usually tell if a guy is closeted or not as it's rather kinda obvious.

I'm not really sure how I do any of this it just comes naturally to me and it's not something I do on purpose and I think a lot of it just has to do with being able to tell my own type.

I don't care if I get pegged as being homosexual since I'm pretty equal in my attractions and I have equal flexibility with men and women but I relate a lot better to men, particularly queer men in general.

I was telling a hetero friend about being flirted/cruised on and reading people, and he had no idea what I was talking about and said how couldn't tell if someone was queer or not and how he'd only met a few people like that.

You are a lucky man DiamondDog. Your post was very insightful and I agree with all of it. Thank you. At the very least, it would be interesting to be able to have some idea of who else might be bi around me. This also makes me wonder what I'm projecting without even realizing it. Maybe I better pay more attention.

[BicuriousWA]

Me too.

I think we should do something like turning from the object of your attention and clasping hands together over small of your back with left hand over right holding only four fingers of right hand.

Something like that. SOMETHING though.


FF

How about touching your index finger to your nose or chin? It might be a bit more subtle. Well..... maybe not that subtle. I do agree with you FerociousFeline. It would be great to have some kind of sign.

[Domino]

If you see a guy you like, then here is what you should do.

use your hand in a wanking motion high enough in the air for him to see, once he has noticed what you are doing. then you start to wink and raise your eyebrows at him, at this stage you can start wiggling your tongue in his direction.

He will soon get the picture without you having to say a word.

[Solomon]

hmm i would follow signals.... not too sure i'm brave enough to give'em though

[Bi-Curious1]

Well, I agree with DiamondDog about being able to read the body language. When I am with my wife she picks it up instantly when a guy flirts with me. I usually do too, but, I have to really be reading his language. I do caution though....this could potentially be a recipe for trouble! Perhaps the man that you think is flirting with you is just a really nice guy? :rolleyes: I say this out of experience with a lady once......anywho, a good rule of thumb for me is, when the guy gives you way more than the average attention, for a guy, figits and smiles in that suggestive way...(You will know the suggestive way when you see it) and just gives you that "universal" sign. (Whatever that is for men or women!) These are just a few of the things I look for in both men and women and find it to be the universal language....but that is just my :2cents: ! PEACE~N~LOVE

[bi-robin-calif]

Domino, I like your idea. It leaves neither of you in doubt, and yet it's very subtle. :bigrin:

[rutgerberit]

Me too.

I think we should do something like turning from the object of your attention and clasping hands together over small of your back with left hand over right holding only four fingers of right hand.

Something like that. SOMETHING though.


FF
This is reminding me of how to recognize a freemason (http://freemasonry.bcy.ca/fiction/monty_python/handshake02.jpg)... And I'm pretty clueless with flirting as well, no matter their gender. :(