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View Full Version : Is it ok to just stop being friends with someone??



deletetacount123
Mar 21, 2007, 10:36 PM
Is it ok not to be friends with someone anymore cause your VERY uncomfortable with thier behaviour and even when they ask you for advice and you give them good ones, they never listen then email you about something bad that happened and you soooo want to say something mean like "Well, thats your own fault!!" cause they knew it was dangerous to do in the first place ??
Then as they keep complaing to you the more uncomfortable you feel and tend to avoid them??

There is a girl I met last year online and we only met once... I got a good vibe at the time but these days in all her emails Ive gotten nothing but bad vibes.
I was suppose to meet her 2 weeks ago but I never went cause something told me not to. And it seems I was right, she has drinking problems and was drinking that weekend and became very violent! Yikes! Got kicked out of her rented apt. and is getting help now but I didn't like her recent emails either and Im really bothered.

Her recent email said she was nearly raped on St Patricks Day's night and she was running around naked for hours till she found help.
While no one deserves to be raped, I couldn;t help but think "Well that was pretty stupid to go out on St Patricks Day" Cause I know people get carried away with drinking especially on that hoilday.

I don't want to be mean, even tho I know sometimes you have to be. Its just really bothering me the behaviour shes been telling me lately.

Should I just keep trying to be a friend to her or just stop talking to her??

Tasha

TorontoGuy2007
Mar 21, 2007, 10:46 PM
HI Tasha,

yikes, sounds like this person has some serious mental problems. i know how much of a kind soul you are, and i know you want to help people realize success and happiness, but perhaps this poor lady friends is beyond help.

if she is drinking and becoming violent, then i'd certainly advise you to avoid her. life's too short to be wasting time on negative people, especially those who have drinking problems and refuse to get help.

might want to slowly back out of things with her. take longer to reply to her e-mails, and write shorter e-mails each time. hopefully she will eventually disappear. if not, then you can be the one to stop writing.. hopefully she won't bug you or stalk you in person..

tell_no_one99
Mar 21, 2007, 10:47 PM
Sounds Like Drama that you don't need to be hooked up in

flexuality
Mar 21, 2007, 10:47 PM
The way I see it, is that you have no obligation to be friends with anyone you are not comfortable with.

Just my thoughts.... :rolleyes:

deletetacount123
Mar 21, 2007, 11:09 PM
Thanks you 3 :)

Ya, I used to be depressed as a teen... I just don't want to be around anyone that seems to have drama, issues, depression and isn't trying to get help.
Senting me emails that bothers me makes me want to just STOP talking to them but Im to nice *pouts*
My sisters always threating me to have a mean bone put into my body :( (and I think she was serious lol She had that look she gives if she means it.)

Im gonna just stop talking to her unless she sents me a nicer email then I might answer, maybe not. I just don't know what to say to her anymore. I never replied to her last email which was on March 18th.

Tasha

DiamondDog
Mar 21, 2007, 11:21 PM
I've cut friendships with people before out of nowhere before.

While I didn't want to do this, I did because these ex friends had major problems. They weren't going to get help anytime soon, and I didn't feel comfortable around them anymore, even if we were just hanging out and talking.

You can always kinda keep the door open though and if they contact you and have changed for the better then you can become friends with them again since people can always change or get better.

arana
Mar 21, 2007, 11:50 PM
The way I see it, is that you have no obligation to be friends with anyone you are not comfortable with.

Just my thoughts.... :rolleyes:
Exactly! Friendships are not a binding contract, you do it because you enjoy the person.

deletetacount123
Mar 22, 2007, 12:12 AM
Exactly! Friendships are not a binding contract, you do it because you enjoy the person.

Ya, she was fun at first but now its a "I don't want anything to do with her" feeling.. I TRIED to help..... but she doesn't want it.

Oh well, I have better friends :)

biwords
Mar 22, 2007, 1:57 AM
Tasha, you strike me as a friend to live up to.

Solomon
Mar 22, 2007, 4:54 AM
it sounds like a very wise decision to stay away from this person. :cool:

julie
Mar 22, 2007, 6:04 AM
....Sometimes, if only for your own self preservation, the wisest thing for all concerned is to trust your gut instinct and just walk away dear Tasha

....you have personal boundaries, she has, unrepentantly violated those boundaries, you owe her nothing.

...with love to you, Julie x :female:

deletetacount123
Mar 22, 2007, 1:12 PM
Hi :-)

Thanks everyone. I am gonna stay away from her / avoid her.
Just don't feel comfortable around her anymore.

Tasha

AstroGlide
Mar 22, 2007, 1:20 PM
Hay Tasha....
After reading a lot of your posting, I seem to feel that you are a very lovely person with a sensitive personality. Remember that depression begets depression. Dump this person and get on with your beautiful life. Remember, you are the sunshine in a lot of reader's lives here.

deletetacount123
Mar 22, 2007, 1:34 PM
Hay Tasha....
After reading a lot of your posting, I seem to feel that you are a very lovely person with a sensitive personality. Remember that depression begets depression. Dump this person and get on with your beautiful life. Remember, you are the sunshine in a lot of reader's lives here.

Aww thanks Astro :)
True, Im just starting to get happy again and things are going the way I want it to go (getting a job....etc)
I don't really need anyone to pull me back down :(
I can walk away knowing I tried to help her, but she doesn't want to listen.

Its never a good idea to be around people that suddenly makes you feel very uncomfortable... especially when you haven't known them for long so its kinda like showing who they really are.

:bibounce: :bibounce: :bibounce: :bibounce:
Tasha