Kissing troubles

[wildcattk]

Hello to everybody, hope you all doing well.

It's my first time posting, and don't really know how to do it but here goes.

I was wondering if some of you out there could give me a little bit of advice. I'm definately bi, however my boyfriend doesn't know, but my friend (whom I share an office with) does. She is insidently bi as well, but doesn't have a partner. We have spoken openly about many issues before, hence both of us know we like the same sex.

About a week ago, we went out with the office for a good night out, had a few to drink, and we walked home. We were flirting with each other pretty much all night, and needless to say we had a few (very nice I have to add) kisses. She initiated the kissing, and then withdrew, realising what had happened, as it was the first time. I think she regretted acting on her instinct due to me having a boyfriend and us being work colleagues as well as good friends, however she then further continued to initiate more kissing. She invited me in, but because she had a flatmate which didn't know her sexual orientation, apart from another sneaky kiss, nothing further happened. I slept in the same bed as her, and you could cut the sexual tension with a knife, but we behaved!

My problem is that I really really really like her, and can't stop thinking about what happened and would love to do it again :tong: , but I just don't know how to approach the situation. I love my boyfriend very much, but I have these very strong feelings. Me and my friend have not spoken about what happened, and we are still very professional in the office, with the occassional flirt when time comes, but I don't know whether she will act on instinct again and if I do whether I will ruin my friendship with her as well.

I hope somebody out there can make sense of what I'm trying to say.

PLEASE HELP :( ;)

[biwords]

I've no answers, but I guess some of the admittedly obvious questions I'd ask would be:

- Does your co-worker want to woo you from your boyfriend, or does she want to share you, or was she just seizing the moment without any longer-term implications?

- If you came out to your boyfriend, would he be willing to share? (apart from the prospect of a threesome, I mean!). Would you? Would he be willing to continue with you at all, or does he feel he needs someone straight for his own security?

- If you love him and he's not willing to share, that will presumably mean you can't explore your same-sex desires. Are you OK with that?

- Does the incident/relationship with the co-worker threaten your job in any way? What if the two of you have a relationship and it doesn't work out?

[wildcattk]

I don't think she wants to woo me away, think it was a more seize the moment without thinking of any implications thing.
The good thing it doesn't influence my job in any way as we do do complete different things, we just share the office space together. I'd be willing to share my relationship, but very unsure of what my boyfriend might say, do or think. I've never discussed the issue with him.

[TorontoGuy2007]

i think biwords has done a great job identifying all the basic options and potential consequences you have to choose from. great post words!

[tink1978]

I have to agree with the previous two post, and add.

You need to decide if she did it only because she was drinking? Try going out with out the alcohol and see what come of it.

Also you need to do a hypothetical question to the boyfriend, some thing like, What do you think of either open relationships or three some and see what his reaction is? and if he asks where this comes from say that you read it in a really girly magazine, most of the time I use Oprah.

Just a thought.

Hope this helps

Tink :2cents: :tong: