How Do I Know?

[BiGuy19]

Ok, I'm a double virgin and never went anywhere with a guy, so how do I know I'm bisexual?

I label myself as bisexual because if you have any feelings towards the same sex and the opposite, you're bisexual. When it comes to emotional attraction, I'm a 2 or 3 on the kinsey scale, and when it comes to physical attraction, I'm a 1 or 2.

[entropy]

I think you know when you know. One of the best ways to figure out though is to see how you feel when you're actually in the situation. But for everybody, it's always important to be comfortable when experimenting your sexuality and to do what's best for you.

Everybody here has gone through the same process, and some of us are still not sure. best wishes **hugs** :male: :flag3:

[BicuriousWA]

I think you know when you know. One of the best ways to figure out though is to see how you feel when you're actually in the situation. But for everybody, it's always important to be comfortable when experimenting your sexuality and to do what's best for you.

Everybody here has gone through the same process, and some of us are still not sure. best wishes **hugs** :male: :flag3:

You make a good point entropy. I keep wondering how my feelings will change when or if I am ever in the situation. I hope my feelings get stronger or are at least validated. I can't wait to find out.

[FriedDuck]

why you not have sex with guy or girl yet?

i know i am bi long b4 i have sex with any1 at all.

dont try 2 put ur attraction on kinsey scale. either u can fall in love with same gender or u cant. same 4 opposite gender. i try very hard to love a man and i cant love man like i can with woman but i love sex with both man and woman. some bi ppl can love both men and women but i cant.

sorry 4 spelling in post write english is not something i good at. :(

[Cerealk]

What if you turn the question around a bit...

How would you know you are hetero?
How would you know you are gay?

Even if I havent had sex with girls or guys, I have had 2 girlfriends. Would that make me straight? If so, I can I explain to myself why every night for the last 3 months I have been wishing to be sharing my bed with a man?

When I was in college, I did a few experimentation on my feelings (I do that often, best way imo to not hurt anyone or myself if im not sure). I would just randomly pick a guy during a class and imagine I was with him. Every time, I didnt feel any awkwardness or repulsion, it felt natural and confortable. I cant say I ever loved a man, but I know I can and want to.

Its true that atm I can hardly relate to being attracted by women, but I guess thats mainly due to the fact that there is no woman in my social circle currently.

But I know deep inside of me that if I meet someone Im interested in, the gender wont be an issue for me. The hard part is telling if its a guy if he could be interested in same sex relation. Im working a way to read that =P

[bi-robin-calif]

Well, you've jumped right into the middle of the endless debate over just what is and what isn't "bisexual."

For me, the problem stems not from my bisexuality but from *labels.* I'm 56. I had my first sexual experience (with a boy) when I was 13. My first sexual experience with a girl was when I was 17. And I never had sex with another male partner from the time I was 13 until I was in my 30s. So was I straight for 17 years? And between 13 & 17, since I had had sex with a boy but not a girl, was I gay?

So was I bisexual or not before I was 30? If you went strictly by labels, maybe I was. But I had no desire for same-sex sex until then, so maybe I wasn't.

I haven't had sex with either a man or a woman in almost 3 years. So am I still bisexual?

My inclination at this point is that I would really love to have someone make love to me, but when I'm lying in bed at night fantasizing about what it would be like, it's always a man I fantasize about. I'm not sexually interested in a woman right now. So am I gay?

But when I start to think about perhaps settling down in any kind of LTR, I always picture myself with a man and with a woman. Not neccessarily in a 3-way scene, but each of us knowing about each other, being friends, and being okay with it. So does that make me bisexual? Or polyamorous?

Sexuality is analog, not digital. What do I mean? Analog sound is based on waves--which is how your ear hears things. Digital is based on ons and offs: their is either a signal present or their isn't. It's either yes or no. With analog, there are more subtleties to be heard.

The same thing with sexuality: it's not a matter of "either/or." It's always in flux, changing.

My advice (not that I'm in any position to give good advice!) is simply to stop worrying about *what* you are and concentrate on being *who* you are. When you know that, you'll realize just how sillly and meaningless labels truly are.

[bi-robin-calif]

How would you know you are hetero?
How would you know you are gay?


Tee-hee! If so-called "straight" friends ever ask you about your sexuality, turn it around on them:

"Where you born straight?
"When did you first realize you were straight?"
"Is it because of the way your parents raised you?"
"Hod do you know you're straight? Mabe you just haven't found the right girl yet."

[tomtrhino]

I was like you at 19. Had fooled around with girls and guys and finally at 19 had real sex with both and once both at the same time as a threesome. Believe me if you're curious you will like it when you try it even if women remain your main focus. Cock and pussy are both great and some of mankind need both, and many more men would dig cock if they just got the courage up to try it. Don't deny yourself this pleasure.

[tomtrhino]

You might try letting an older bi guy introduce you to man-man sex. We've been through your unsure period and know how to make it good for you.And my wife will help.