polyamory

[Daisy999]

Polyamory is a bigger sham than swinging.

At least with swinging people are honest and just say that they want to have sex with you, and they're clear that it's ONLY sex and that it won't toy with your emotions.

With polyamory people will slut around and say that they're in "love" with you or open and honest when my BF and I have found that people aren't honest and lots of people DO lie and sleep behind their partner's back, or just want to be a homewrecker and split a commited couple apart. I've met people who are poly who acted like they're "above" or "better than" people who are closed/exclusive in their relationships. Also people talk about triads or relationships with a 3rd person but they're not willing to commit or seriously talk about it when it comes down to it.

There's nothing new and revolutionary, life changing, or special about polyamory despite what authors of such poly manifestos such as 'The ethical slut' will tell you.

It's simply having an open relationship and people (no matter their orientation) have been doing this long before today, for decades and hundreds of years before 2007.

It seems to me like people who are self proclaimed poly have to tell you all the time that they are just to validate it to themselves about how revolutionary it is, when it's only having an open relationship. It's about experiencing novelty, something different than a closed/exclusive relationship nothing more.

[Domino]

Daisy I think I love you. I will happly gain 50-kg for you I will become a swinger, I am almost sure you would love me to be black too, so I will double up on the fake tan as well.

[darkeyes]

Polyamory is a bigger sham than swinging.

At least with swinging people are honest and just say that they want to have sex with you, and they're clear that it's ONLY sex and that it won't toy with your emotions.

With polyamory people will slut around and say that they're in "love" with you or open and honest when my BF and I have found that people aren't honest and lots of people DO lie and sleep behind their partner's back, or just want to be a homewrecker and split a commited couple apart. I've met people who are poly who acted like they're "above" or "better than" people who are closed/exclusive in their relationships. Also people talk about triads or relationships with a 3rd person but they're not willing to commit or seriously talk about it when it comes down to it.

There's nothing new and revolutionary, life changing, or special about polyamory despite what authors of such poly manifestos such as 'The ethical slut' will tell you.

It's simply having an open relationship and people (no matter their orientation) have been doing this long before today, for decades and hundreds of years before 2007.

It seems to me like people who are self proclaimed poly have to tell you all the time that they are just to validate it to themselves about how revolutionary it is, when it's only having an open relationship. It's about experiencing novelty, something different than a closed/exclusive relationship nothing more.*softly snoozes*

[Woahman]

Polyamory is a bigger sham than swinging.


It's simply having an open relationship and people (no matter their orientation) have been doing this long before today, for decades and hundreds of years before 2007.


This.... is rediculous IMHO. WHO! stated that it is a new thing? polys have been around for so very very long! An open relationship is a very different thing to polyamory. You can fuck someone yeh thats easy.. but actually having a dual relationship, FEELINGS involved, which is something you dont seem to take into account in many of your posts from what i have seen.
Why does it matter if someone can love 2 people 3 people.. 100 people? There isnt enough love in this world as it is.
An open relationship is the POSSABILITY if either partner having some form of relationship, be it physical or what ever, with someone else and the fact that they are okay with that. Thats simply not the case with Poly.

Thats enough of a rant for me. All of this.... my opinion.. take what you will.

I'm going to quote a wise friend of mine to conclude this soap boxing match.

"Enoll: At the end of the day it all comes down to what you want and how you feel."

[ElizabethJane]

Though I don't agree with you - I'll toast to your decisiveness and determination in voicing your opinion! :bighug

[Woahman]

Though I don't agree with you - I'll toast to your decisiveness and determination in voicing your opinion! :bighug
What can i say.... im a reasonably opinionated firey 20 y/o that will stick my ground. Thanks tho! :bigrin:

[meta23]

Yup, definitely a troll.

[Woahman]

Yup, definitely a troll.
ME??? are you calling ME a troll?!?!!!?!?!?!!?!?! :confused:

[deletetacount123]

ME??? are you calling ME a troll?!?!!!?!?!?!!?!?! :confused:

Aww not you Woah, You could never be a troll unless your tiny and cubby, big eyed, colored hair sticking up!!! (remember the troll toys? lol) :)

meta23 was refering to Daisy.

As for the topic....I just think people should do whatever they enjoy doing. There is nothing wrong with anything if you like it :) If we were all the same then the world would be boring.

[TorontoGuy2007]

poly is not my thing.

i am not even going to try to understand or judge those who do feel the need to be polyamorous.

bottom line, i think it is sad that there are people out there who cheat, and i also think it is sad that some people want to use their bisexual label as a reason to ask permission from their spouse to have an additional fling on the side, yet they expect their spouse to remain loyal and faithful to them.

heck, there are people sending me private messages all the time that publically admit that they are married yet they want "descrete sex" on the side with others. if this is the case, then why be married in the first place? why take those wedding vowes if you don't really hold those values?

but hey, in the end, as long as both parties are comfortable with the arrangement, then there's nothing wrong with being polyamorous.

however, based on the facts i have seen shared on this site over the many recent months, it appears that most relationships that are somehow polyamorous never seem to last very long.

i've always believed that the definition of "in love" means that you only want to be with one person. if you think you love two or more people, then it isn't really "in love", it's just love, or perhaps lust.

[Solomon]

Polyamory is a bigger sham than swinging.

At least with swinging people are honest and just say that they want to have sex with you, and they're clear that it's ONLY sex and that it won't toy with your emotions.

With polyamory people will slut around and say that they're in "love" with you or open and honest when my BF and I have found that people aren't honest and lots of people DO lie and sleep behind their partner's back, or just want to be a homewrecker and split a commited couple apart. I've met people who are poly who acted like they're "above" or "better than" people who are closed/exclusive in their relationships. Also people talk about triads or relationships with a 3rd person but they're not willing to commit or seriously talk about it when it comes down to it.

There's nothing new and revolutionary, life changing, or special about polyamory despite what authors of such poly manifestos such as 'The ethical slut' will tell you.

It's simply having an open relationship and people (no matter their orientation) have been doing this long before today, for decades and hundreds of years before 2007.

It seems to me like people who are self proclaimed poly have to tell you all the time that they are just to validate it to themselves about how revolutionary it is, when it's only having an open relationship. It's about experiencing novelty, something different than a closed/exclusive relationship nothing more.

so your copy and paste works, too bad it's not a brain.

[Fire Lotus]

Oh Daisy, there ya go, generalizing again. There will be cheaters and liars in any relationship structure, whether it be mono or poly. Luckily what I have found in the polyamorous circles I know of, there is integrity, sincerety and honesty.

Niether poly or mono relationships are right or wrong, nor one better than the other. (This is my opinion. I'm not stating this as fact.) They are just different. One way just works better for some than the other.

Before you go lumping everyone in one catagory, try reading more than just one book on the subject and talk with other polyamorists, more than the few you did with your boyfriend before you make such judgments.

[izzfan]

I've never completely understood the whole polyamory thing myself but if ppl are into it and their partners are ok with it then it seems to be ok, I mean I can see how monogamy could get a bit boring for some people [I dont plan on getting into a relationship until I'm a bit older -relationships can gobble up your time, money etc... and alienate friends in some cases] and I have met people in open relationships and it seems to be pretty cool - I mean as long as you love your partner strongly and set down rules about what each of you can do then I don't see the problem with polyamory.


It seems to me like people who are self proclaimed poly have to tell you all the time that they are just to validate it to themselves about how revolutionary it is, when it's only having an open relationship.

If anything 'polyamory' [meaning 'many loves' - from either latin or greek] is an older term than 'open relationship' which seems to be a much more recent term for it.

Daisy, you really have to stop making sweeping generalisations and being so judgemental about everything. I mean you're entitled to your opinion by all means [hell, that's the whole point of forums] but the way you often word it comes across as judgemental, snobbish etc... Nevertheless, you always seem to provoke debate which isn't an entirely bad thing.

Izzfan :flag3:

[s_shunpike]

Daisy -

Seems to me from the various posts that you have had some very very bad experiences that you are letting overshadow your ideas of people. As with everything there are certainly exceptions to the rule. There are indeed people you will encounter out there that will use the terms poly, swinging, open marriage, etc to cheat on their significant other.

In my limited experience I have found that a good bit of detective work and old fashioned intuition can really root out the phonies from the reals. If someone tells you they are in an open marriage or a poly relationship - in most cases it should not be an issue to be able to confirm with the other person involved to check the facts. My spouse and I believe in an open relationship. One of the rules we abide by, and expect others to is approval of the other person. I would have no problems with someone I was interested in being with speaking with my spouse to confirm the nature of our relationship. Having a problem would be a HUGE red flag for me.

Please do not allow a few bad apples to spoil the bunch. Rather, remove the bad apples from the bin and enjoy the rest. :bigrin:

[Daisy999]

This.... is rediculous IMHO. WHO! stated that it is a new thing? polys have been around for so very very long! An open relationship is a very different thing to polyamory. You can fuck someone yeh thats easy.. but actually having a dual relationship, FEELINGS involved, which is something you dont seem to take into account in many of your posts from what i have seen.
Why does it matter if someone can love 2 people 3 people.. 100 people? There isnt enough love in this world as it is.
An open relationship is the POSSABILITY if either partner having some form of relationship, be it physical or what ever, with someone else and the fact that they are okay with that. Thats simply not the case with Poly.

Thats enough of a rant for me. All of this.... my opinion.. take what you will.

I'm going to quote a wise friend of mine to conclude this soap boxing match.

"Enoll: At the end of the day it all comes down to what you want and how you feel."



If you've read books or articles on Polyamory the writers claim that it's a new thing and it's not.

"Polyamory" is simply having an open relationship or a relationship with multiple partners. Nothing more.

Queer men and women and heterosexuals have been doing this for decades and long before the 20th/21st century.

Polyamory is a symptom of individual fear of comittment to another person/people. All of the people I have known or met who call themselves "polyamorous" seem to just use the descriptor as an excuse to get together with anyone they find attractive.

I don't see why you're flipping out when I'm telling you the truth about it.

[s_shunpike]

Daisy -

Please check out the multiple sites that deal with Polyamory. They will help you understand that it is not about having sex with multiple people. Here is a good one:

http://www.polyamory.org/

http://www.polyamorysociety.org/

[Daisy999]

Daisy -

Please check out the multiple sites that deal with Polyamory. They will help you understand that it is not about having sex with multiple people. Here is a good one:

http://www.polyamory.org/

http://www.polyamorysociety.org/

I read your links and it's still EXACTLY like an open relationship which people have been having for hundreds of years.

If a relationship isn't closed/exclusive then it's open.

The idea that polyamory is all about "love" and not sex is a sham. Humans are always looking for sex and don't put their emotions first. This is a proven fact.

Anyway, polyamory is just simply an open relationship.

I don't see why people have to dress it up with all this fancy jargon, theory, act like it's "better" than being closed/exclusive, act like it's more "natural" for everyone, say that "everbody" is wired to be in open relationships, or that if you're not into open relationships that you're simply "blinded" by society.

All of these are examples of how people who are in open relationships or self defined "poly" use to justify their open relationships to themselves. For most people in open relationships they're simply experiencing novelty of not being in a closed relationship. Even the self described "experts" about open relationships agree with me on this one.

The simple fact is that open relationships have very weak morals and ethics. I don't herald them as model relationships. Yes I've been in them before and they break people apart since nobody takes them seriously or is that mature or has that type of emotional stability.

I have yet to see a single open relationship work, and the problems in them are not healthy.

There are several flavors of polyamory, depending on your hangups, kinks, social status, religious beliefs and the amount of work you want to put into it. Here's a primer on the major forms of polyamory, with some general guidelines that will help you find the right kind of fuckfest that your thoughtful, sensitive soul craves.

Polygamy
In practice, polygamy is the ugliest of all forms of polyamory because it's almost always a tool for men to have more women, without allowing women the corresponding luxury. Mormonism and Islam both practice forms of polygamy which tend to work out in a very oppressive sort of way.

Cons: Exclusively heterosexual (a con if you're not, or if you like threesomes or moresomes). Oppressive, not politically correct. Illegal in many jurisdictions. Concept frequently abused by cult leaders to take liberties with underaged girls. Not socially acceptable in most Western countries.

Pros: Exclusively heterosexual (if you are). Good if you're the man (and not stricken with conscience). Presumably OK if you're a woman who wants the security of being married without the full-time hassle of maintaining an exclusive relationship, but you don't hear a lot of women advocating this point of view.

Basic Sluttiness
This is the tried and true form of non-monogamy, and the easiest on which to embark. You sleep around. You avoid long-term committed relationships.

Cons: You are almost certainly raising the odds that you'll catch a disease, although you can mitigate that risk by the usual means (discussing sexual history, using condoms 100% of the time, refraining from bloodletting, etc.). Sure, you might end up alone and embittered, but frankly that could happen anyway. At least your expectations will be low.

Pros: Low-maintenance. When you don't cultivate relationships, basically the only work you have to do is the actual pickup (and the occasional hysterical scene). Depending on your skills, appearance and personal hygiene, this may balance out in your favor. Also, there's no need to explain your quirky life to friends, families and coworkers, because everyone pretty much understands this approach.

The 'Understanding'
This is another popular approach. When you have an Understanding with a committed partner, you basically reap the benefits of a steady relationship while occasionally scoring strictly casual sex on the side. Although they deny it, it's a pretty safe bet that Bill and Hillary have some sort of Understanding.

Cons: It doesn't count if you just sleep around without telling the other person, even if you're "pretty sure" they "know the score." The Understanding requires an explicit agreement, otherwise you're not really a polyamorist, you're just an asshole (adulterer). Things can get complicated and unpleasant if one partner brings home a disease or accidentally falls in love with a "casual" fling. May result in awkward social encounters at cocktail parties or the weddings of mutual friends. The process of picking up a partner may be complicated if you choose to explain your position, which is the correct ethical (and practical) thing to do.

Pros: Much less impactful and exhausting than having full-fledged relationships with more than one person. The Understanding is the easiest form of polyamory to conceal from your children, neighbors and parents.

Swinging
Swingers are generally couples who jointly take part in sexual activities with other couples and singles. This can either be done within a context of group sex or as part of a structured "swap" in which the partners trade off with each other (either in the same room or separately).

As in any group sex situation, it's not required that the participants be bisexual, but it does tend to make things go a lot more smoothly if everyone involved enjoys and is at least comfortable with each other's naughty bits.

Cons: Swinger subculture is still afflicted with a weird kind of '70s sensibility. It's exponentially harder to find TWO people that TWO other people like enough to share spit with than it is for one person to hook up with one partner. People who are insecure about their sexual performance may be disturbed by the sight, sound and smell of their life partner having a good time with someone else. VERY awkward if you try to pick up another couple you've been friends with for years, only to discover that they are appalled at the very notion.

Pros: The family that fucks together, stays together. No hidden worries about what the other person is up to, since adventures are undertaken together. Group dynamics can often be very energetic (this is a double-edged sword, of course). Out of all the forms of polyamory, swinging is probably the most likely to get you thrown out of the PTA or to be used against you during a murder trial.

Anything That Moves
Both partners just fuck whomever they want, whenever they want, however they want, with no particular regard for any of the abovementioned finicky distinctions. You can frolic with partners jointly or separately. At the end of the day, you come home to your partner. OK, maybe the end of the week. If you haven't come home by the end of the month, you're probably more "broken up" than "polyamorous."

Cons: Chaotic, confusing, often hurtful. Sounds better on paper than it actually works out when people's feelings are involved, unless both people are really, really, REALLY committed to the lifestyle (or if they just don't care about each other that much). Ironically, unstable people are very attracted to this approach, but it really takes a well-adjusted person to survive it.

Pros: If you can deal with the emotional roller coaster, the upside is you pretty much get to do whatever you want.

Structured Polyamory
What's life without rules? If you just can't deal with the insanity of the "Anything That Moves" approach, there is a recent movement toward creating new and theoretically improved guidelines for sexually expansive lifestyles. People who use the word "polyamory" are usually referring to this approach.

In a "poly" relationship, a couple (gay or straight) comes together in a "primary" relationship. Your primary is the person you come home to, and the person who comes first in the event of a conflict of interests.

After the primary, many poly people choose a "secondary," which is a person with whom you establish a regular and theoretically stable relationship that is less than the first. This basically means you don't live together. If your primary and secondary have their office Christmas parties on the same day, you go with the primary.

After the secondary, there's also the casual sex, which is just pretty much casual sex. Many poly couples do this, some don't. It depends on whether you come to the lifestyle out of a commitment to sexual freedom or to accommodate a sticky situation involving a relationship interloper.

Many poly participants are bisexual, but this isn't a requirement. It's extremely helpful if you can get along with your primary's secondary, especially if you can all get it on whilst you get along. Even then, poly relationships are often turbulent.

There are numerous variations on this theme, including three-way equal relationships called triads, and even four-ways. There are very few people with the discipline to make these approaches work, and virtually no one who can manage anything more than a four-way.

Cons: A lot of rules and jargon to learn. Waking up to find a stranger in your bed that you didn't invite. Sometimes poly people choose this lifestyle because they're so incredibly needy that one person can't possibly take care of them enough. (Two people usually aren't enough to take care of them either.) Polyamory is extremely difficult to hide from parents, neighbors and co-workers.

Pros: You get most of the benefits of the other approaches, while mitigating some of the negatives. On paper, this looks like a sensible mature way to go about having a sexually liberated lifestyle. Because it looks good on paper, however, sometimes people try it out when they really aren't up for it, and much angst results.

[s_shunpike]

:( Daisy,

I tried to give a chance. People have tried and tried to make this an open forum for discussion with you - to give opposing views. Unfortunately it seems that you either do not want to hear opposing views or are simply not willing to entertain them. Either way I find it sad, we grow as people by being willing to hear all sides of a coin and agree to disagree. Not by slamming people for what they do, or how they feel.

shunpike OUT! :(

[IanBorthwick]

From what I saw she read NONE of those links. This once happy little community is getting ripped a fresh one by someone with strong convictions about things she knows little to less than zero about, and refusing to listen to those who know something about it.

I have not started any threads and screamed from the hilltops to the fact that I am Poly. In fact I have gone out of my way not to emphasize it at all. It's simply who I am and nothing more than that. Had Daisy taken the first link and looked it over a little bit she would learned that that a Poly person is not always engaged in sex with those they love. And I mean sex in every single fashion imaginable including Cyber! This describes what I have known for ages, and what she refuses to look at in order that she continue to froth about it. In my life there are several people I have loved while I was in love with someone else. This is going on even NOW, Daisy. These peopel I know from the internet, knowing their thoughts and minds, seen their pictures and felt deep and abiding love for them. Now nothing sexual has ever even come into the picture but I am in love with them nevertheless. These people live half the country away from me but it changes nothing.

The basis of a poly persons heart reaching out in love to several has nothing to do with sex. As we've seen from other threads you've started, you have some kind of agenda or pain driving you on to be blind to the difference between love, lust, having sex and what a relationship is. I feel sorry for you, but a closed mind is closed out of choice whether it is conscious or not.

[Daisy999]

From what I saw she read NONE of those links. This once happy little community is getting ripped a fresh one by someone with strong convictions about things she knows little to less than zero about, and refusing to listen to those who know something about it.

I have not started any threads and screamed from the hilltops to the fact that I am Poly. In fact I have gone out of my way not to emphasize it at all. It's simply who I am and nothing more than that. Had Daisy taken the first link and looked it over a little bit she would learned that that a Poly person is not always engaged in sex with those they love. And I mean sex in every single fashion imaginable including Cyber! This describes what I have known for ages, and what she refuses to look at in order that she continue to froth about it. In my life there are several people I have loved while I was in love with someone else. This is going on even NOW, Daisy. These peopel I know from the internet, knowing their thoughts and minds, seen their pictures and felt deep and abiding love for them. Now nothing sexual has ever even come into the picture but I am in love with them nevertheless. These people live half the country away from me but it changes nothing.

The basis of a poly persons heart reaching out in love to several has nothing to do with sex. As we've seen from other threads you've started, you have some kind of agenda or pain driving you on to be blind to the difference between love, lust, having sex and what a relationship is. I feel sorry for you, but a closed mind is closed out of choice whether it is conscious or not.

You've bought the Poly manifesto hook, line, and sinker. There's a sucker born every minute.

Are you seriously telling me that given the chance you wouldn't fuck your internet friends or have sex with them? Give me a break. :rolleyes:

They say that it's all based on honesty, communication, and love and whatnot but it's really not. It's just something they say to tourists/new people, as I've seen others post about here.

Actually I know TONS about open relationships AKA polyamory, more than most people here. I've actually been in 3 way relationships where yes there was sex involved and it wasn't with people who live halfway across the country who I met on the internet who I've never even met, and I've spoken at many confrences on the subject. I wrote a thesis on them and I'm friends with several notable people who do research about open relationships who will agree with everything I've posted about them on here.

The fact of the matter is, you're having a relationship with more than one person, you're bringing others into a relationship or entering a relationship with multiple partners, and relationships don't have to have sex involved with them but most do or will eventually, so how is that NOT an open relationship? Even my research friends will agree with me on this one, that you're having an open relationship no matter what you want to call it.

Next time read my posts and what I'm saying before you type out a contradictory post full of BS and make yourself look like an idiot.

[entropy]

Count them, at least 3 topics and probably over 10 posts where Daisy999 is antagonizing our users...

Can we ban her please?

[flexuality]

You've bought the Poly manifesto hook, line, and sinker. There's a sucker born every minute.

They say that it's all based on honesty, communication, and love and whatnot but it's really not. It's just something they say to tourists/new people, as I've seen others post about here.

Actually I know TONS about open relationships AKA polyamory, more than most people here. I've actually been in 3 way relationships and I've spoken at many confrences about them. I wrote a thesis on them and I'm friends with several notable people who do research about open relationships who will agree with everything I've posted about them on here.

The fact of the matter is, you're having a relationship with more than one person, and relationships don't have to have sex involved with them, so how is that NOT an open relationship? Even my research friends will agree with me on this one, that you're having an open relationship no matter what you want to call it.

Next time read my posts and what I'm saying before you type out a contradictory post full of BS and make yourself look like an idiot.

One of my favourite sayings:

"If you give a person enough rope, they'll hang themselves."

Doin' a bang up job with the rope there Daisy! Take all ya need lol!

[spoiledangel860505]

Count them, at least 3 topics and probably over 10 posts where Daisy999 is antagonizing our users...

Can we ban her please?

Drew, please ban her.

[Daisy999]

Drew, please ban her.

Don't ban me because I speak the truth. Sometimes the truth hurts.


Swinging is seriously so suburbanite and middle class and you can say the same thing about polyamory which is argued by many to be a type of swinging, and judging from the experiences that myself and many other people have had in both "communities" they are practically one in the same.

[IanBorthwick]

You've bought the Poly manifesto hook, line, and sinker. There's a sucker born every minute.

Are you seriously telling me that given the chance you wouldn't fuck your internet friends or have sex with them? Give me a break. :rolleyes:

They say that it's all based on honesty, communication, and love and whatnot but it's really not. It's just something they say to tourists/new people, as I've seen others post about here.

Actually I know TONS about open relationships AKA polyamory, more than most people here. I've actually been in 3 way relationships where yes there was sex involved and it wasn't with people who live halfway across the country who I met on the internet who I've never even met, and I've spoken at many confrences on the subject. I wrote a thesis on them and I'm friends with several notable people who do research about open relationships who will agree with everything I've posted about them on here.

The fact of the matter is, you're having a relationship with more than one person, you're bringing others into a relationship or entering a relationship with multiple partners, and relationships don't have to have sex involved with them but most do or will eventually, so how is that NOT an open relationship? Even my research friends will agree with me on this one, that you're having an open relationship no matter what you want to call it.

Next time read my posts and what I'm saying before you type out a contradictory post full of BS and make yourself look like an idiot.

Amazing. Simply astounding. Everything you have written up to this point has been about sex, so in that case I am at a loss as to what you are talking about when it comes to "BS" and bought the "Manifesto, etc". Your definitons so far have been centered aroudn sex, how it occurs in this lefestyle and how you find it distatsteful. I've read your venom and found it jevenile at best. it shows intelligence but no wisdom.

How do you call "Loving" someone an open relationship? How can it be open when it has never been consumated or acknowledged? Your definitons and rancor spew out over and over for no reason than it's:

A) Something you really have no concept of as you have admittedly only spoken to people who share your views with an open mind and

B) Are centralizing your arguments without knowing what you are arguing about, around a definiton that does not include what you are screaming about.

Polyamory is CONSENSUAL. Open relationships do not require consent in all cases and centered around SEX.

By the way, I don't read Poly anything or go to poly websites. Just like being bisexual, it's something I know I am and have had feelings about for years. In my life I have made love to very few people, but LOVED many with their knowledge and without. Most of the people I have loved I have never touched, kissed, or had any other intimate contact with. You had best go over your definitions one more time. Allow me to help you.


Definition of Polyamory (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory)


Defintion of Open Relationship (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open_relationship)

The key difference involved are simply stated as this,"An open relationship denotes a relationship (usually between two people) in which participants are free to take other partners; if the couple making this agreement are married, it is an open marriage. While "open relationship" is sometimes used as a synonym for "polyamory" or "polyamorous relationship", these terms are generally differentiated. The "open" in "open relationship" usually refers to the sexual aspect of a non-closed relationship, whereas "polyamory" refers to the extension of a relationship by allowing bonds to form (which may be sexual or otherwise) as additional long term relationships...." I copied that from Wikipedia.

Now, I ask that Drew please take this young lady aside and tell her it is impolite to attack a person here on Bi.com, against his rules in fact.

With that said I bid adieu to you and all of Bisexual.com. I'll not be coming back soon if at all due to the misandrony as well as this odd behaviour being allowed to continue here on what was supposed to be a warm and inviting place, but which has shown itself to anything but.

[Daisy999]

Amazing. Simply astounding. Everything you have written up to this point has been about sex, so in that case I am at a loss as to what you are talking about when it comes to "BS" and bought the "Manifesto, etc". Your definitons so far have been centered aroudn sex, how it occurs in this lefestyle and how you find it distatsteful. I've read your venom and found it jevenile at best. it shows intelligence but no wisdom.

How do you call "Loving" someone an open relationship? How can it be open when it has never been consumated or acknowledged? Your definitons and rancor spew out over and over for no reason than it's:

A) Something you really have no concept of as you have admittedly only spoken to people who share your views with an open mind and

B) Are centralizing your arguments without knowing what you are arguing about, around a definiton that does not include what you are screaming about.

Polyamory is CONSENSUAL. Open relationships do not require consent in all cases and centered around SEX.

By the way, I don't read Poly anything or go to poly websites. Just like being bisexual, it's something I know I am and have had feelings about for years. In my life I have made love to very few people, but LOVED many with their knowledge and without. Most of the people I have loved I have never touched, kissed, or had any other intimate contact with. You had best go over your definitions one more time. Allow me to help you.


Definition of Polyamory (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory)


Defintion of Open Relationship (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open_relationship)

The key difference involved are simply stated as this,"An open relationship denotes a relationship (usually between two people) in which participants are free to take other partners; if the couple making this agreement are married, it is an open marriage. While "open relationship" is sometimes used as a synonym for "polyamory" or "polyamorous relationship", these terms are generally differentiated. The "open" in "open relationship" usually refers to the sexual aspect of a non-closed relationship, whereas "polyamory" refers to the extension of a relationship by allowing bonds to form (which may be sexual or otherwise) as additional long term relationships...." I copied that from Wikipedia.

Now, I ask that Drew please take this young lady aside and tell her it is impolite to attack a person here on Bi.com, against his rules in fact.

With that said I bid adieu to you and all of Bisexual.com. I'll not be coming back soon if at all due to the misandrony as well as this odd behaviour being allowed to continue here on what was supposed to be a warm and inviting place, but which has shown itself to anything but.

Now you're just acting like a spoiled brat "Screw you guys I'm going home!" when someone says something that you don't like that's true.

Sometimes the truth hurts. Polyamory, or open relationships aren't all about love. Trust me, you want to hear it from me than from getting involved with a couple and having them tell you "sorry we don't need you or want a relationship with you anymore", or find out that they've been cheating on you.

Wikipedia isn't a good source. ANYONE can go on there and edit it and it's been proven NOT to be a relilable source at all. Anyway, the definitions you even posted even said how being "polyamorous" is simply having an open relationship.

I've browsed the poly links you gave me and it's still a middle class manifesto, just like swinging was in the 1970s and if you believe in it so much why do you have to keep posting links and definitions to validate it to yourself? I never knew that your entire reality and world view is this fragile.

Why waste all that energy and "love" on people from the internet who you won't ever meet? Why not find people in reality who you can love and who will love you back for who you are, instead of strangers online?

I love how polyamory is supposed to be so 'free' and 'open' yet self proclaimed "poly" people feel the need to be so clearly defined.

I find that people like fancy words and terms to be able to sleep at night. I'm not one of them.

An open relationship and what consitutes as "cheating" are decided by the people in the relationship. It's as simple as that. Polyamory is an open relationship no matter how you want to define it or say it.

I'll say it again.

The fact of the matter is, you're having a relationship with more than one person, you're bringing others into a relationship or entering a relationship with multiple partners, and relationships don't have to have sex involved with them but most do or will eventually, you're having an open relationship. Even if you're having a relationship with multiple "lovers", or you're professing your love for more than one person, and in this relationship where sex somehow isn't involved or is never going to happen, you're still having an open relationship with multiple people. So how is that polyamory NOT an open relationship? Even my research friends will agree with me on this one, that you're having an open relationship no matter what you want to call it. All of these examples that I've written about and the examples that you have written about none of them are a CLOSED or EXCLUSIVE or "monogamous" relationship so they're OPEN relationships no matter what words you want to use to describe it.

I'm sorry if you don't understand this or grasp it.

Why are you getting angry that it's being equated with an open relationship or that it's defined by myself and many other accredited people as an open relationship? There's nothing wrong with having an open relationship, and I think it's rather silly of you to be offended this way. Grow up.

Do you even know what misandrony means? I don't hate men and it's not like I'm some man hating lesbian. There's nothing in my posts that conveys that I'm that way or that I hate men. I flame ideas not people.

Try to keep an open mind dearie, it's better for you in the long run.

[Solomon]

I am so grateful that you're not polyamorous, that'd be too much of a chance that you'd get knocked up and have kids that're uglier than you.

[Daisy999]

I am so grateful that you're not polyamorous, that'd be too much of a chance that you'd get knocked up and have kids that're uglier than you.

You can knock me up whenever you want to! Do it as much as you want, make me a baby maker!

Make me a Conservative man's dream for a woman, a submissive sex slave barefoot and naked chained to the kitchen sink! A slave to her womb!

I'll even let you do some kinky role/age play and we can pretend that I'm your stepdaughter! All in fantasy of course! I hear you're into that. ;)


I am a step father to five kids... three of them are girls, women now. two are guys. Frankly, for me I have had fantasies, that's where it ends. They are all very attractive, but me having sex with them... I don't know i'm actually just glad it never became more than a discussion between me and my wife.


btw, i'm not only a step-father, but i've also enjoyed incest, in fact it was with my cousin that became my first gay act as well as my first sexual experience at all.

in short, i believe i was a bit more screwed up when i was told about how wrong that was. so i'm NOT convinced that incest is wrong in principle.

[Solomon]

You can knock me up whenever you want to! Do it as much as you want, make me a baby maker!

Make me a Conservative man's dream for a woman, a submissive sex slave barefoot and naked chained to the kitchen sink! A slave to her womb!

I'll even let you do some kinky role/age play and we can pretend that I'm your stepdaughter! All in fantasy of course! I hear you're into that. ;)

sorry, i'm really not into crawling under rocks that your heroin addiction puts you under. i do have standards and morals ya know.

[Daisy999]

sorry, i'm really not into crawling under rocks that your heroin addiction puts you under. i do have standards and morals ya know.

I'm not a heroin addict. Up with hope, down with dope! My friend's ex husband was and that's what drove them apart.

[Woahman]

If you've read books or articles on Polyamory the writers claim that it's a new thing and it's not.

"Polyamory" is simply having an open relationship or a relationship with multiple partners. Nothing more.

Queer men and women and heterosexuals have been doing this for decades and long before the 20th/21st century.

Polyamory is a symptom of individual fear of comittment to another person/people. All of the people I have known or met who call themselves "polyamorous" seem to just use the descriptor as an excuse to get together with anyone they find attractive.

I don't see why you're flipping out when I'm telling you the truth about it.




exactly.... RELATIONSHIP!!! not just sex which is what you seem to be blabbering on about... and as for "flipping out", i dont "flip out" i say what i want to. You aren't telling me ANYTHING because you seem to know nothing. When you have something valid to say then i may believe you are TELLING me something till then.. BAH!

AND! as for this little display of disgusting mis-use of this communitys forums


You can knock me up whenever you want to! Do it as much as you want, make me a baby maker!

Make me a Conservative man's dream for a woman, a submissive sex slave barefoot and naked chained to the kitchen sink! A slave to her womb!

I'll even let you do some kinky role/age play and we can pretend that I'm your stepdaughter! All in fantasy of course! I hear you're into that. ;)


Now who is acting like a spoilt little brat who isnt getting her own way. This site is NOT! about personal attacks.. and if you wish to use it as such i think you should leave it RIGHT now, because quite frankly NO ONE! wants you here.... do you even want to be here, cos it sure seems like you dont!