Is my situation unusual?

[ZenGolfer]

(I just wrote a long post and then my gf walked in so I had to close it...so this is the abridged version)

I've known since I was young that the sexual aspect of bisexuality intrigues me. My problem is that it's ONLY the sexual part of it. I'm not looking for a male lover or companion and I'm not attracted to men...I'm attracted to sex with a man and a woman at the same time. My problem is that I've never had a chance to work on making this come to fruition. It's to the point where most of my fantasies surround sexual experiences of this nature and threepillows is my favourite porn site (thanks drew! :)).

My ex was hot on the idea, but we were young and were not secure enough in ourselves and our relationship to experiment in any crazy ways sexually. Anything private was fine, anything more was too much. My current gf of 3 years isn't into it. I've brought it up in the heat of the moment a few times and she never took to it. I figure that if she didn't take to it then, she'll never take to it in a normal conversation. She likes very plain vanilla sex, which is nice, but it's not helping me with my fantasies at all.

Is this weird? I don't really want to make out with a man (maybe if conditions were right in the moment), I just want to have sex with one in a threesome environment. What does it make me if I'm ONLY interested in the sexual portion of being bisexual? I did manage to get oral sex from a man in an Athens adult theatre when travelling, but have never had the opportunity to reciprocate. I feel bad about it, but I think that if I ever want to really pursue this (and I do), I will probably have to seek it outside the confines of the relationship. I think that I would only do this once, initially, to see if it's something that I want to do and then deal with the relationship part of it.

I dunno...have you guys been through this before?

[TrimBeardHairyBod]

Hi there, fella

Just a quick note to say I understand your position completely. I've been gay to date but fantasise about str8 sex within the context of a m/m/f threesome. I don't think I could handle a m/f liaison as I would be afraid the woman would want to become emotionally involved.

Here's wishing you all the best in your quest.

[sashawillowick]

not unusual..i think many people look at it that way..i'm one..i only have the fantasy of performing oral on a woman..that's it for now..no other type of bond whatsoever. i'm in a extremely committed relationship with a beautiful man whom i believe may have had the same types of fantasies although he doesn't admit it and i dare not bring it up..

good luck.. :)

[NoneYa]

Not at all, You are very normal, You are well on your way to a better sex life. I started the same exact way. I have since grown to a very open mind. But it took time to get here. You dont need to kiss, cuddle, caress a guy to enjoy yourself with one. Sometime just the sex is best. I wish your girlfriend were more open minded. That is the best life. When the two of you can go places most will never know. Nothing can truly describe it. Its zen like. I am lucky I guess. From the start, my wife and have known the other was bi, and we have acted on this together now for 13 years. The very thought of me and another guy still to this day makes her so hot. This feeling swings back the other way as well. Anyway, I say find a guy that want's to have some str8-up good times, no BS and just let your bodies go! OK how was that?
:cool: :tong: :tongue: ;) :( :bigrin: :eek: :) :male: :2cents: :rolleyes: :female: :flag3: :flag2: :flag1: :bipride: :color: :upside: :rainbow:

[DareMe]

Absolutly normal!

Relax, and stop worrying so much about it. I think we all pretty much have an attraction to sex. Pure raw sex.

[bigpanda]

I find myself in a slightly different situation, but maybe it can help.
I am bisexual/leaning toward straight and have no interest in having a "relationship" with a man, certainly not marriage. And I don't find guys generally to be attractive. It's only the ones you see in porno or in the Bally's Fitness commercials that I like. Lean, muscular and well endowed.
Of course, these are the guys I'm least likely to attract (see headline) and have learned that, even in a sexual relationship, it's emotion that counts.
Perhaps your gf would react better to an emotion rather than an urge.

[ZenGolfer]

I find myself in a slightly different situation, but maybe it can help.
I am bisexual/leaning toward straight and have no interest in having a "relationship" with a man, certainly not marriage. And I don't find guys generally to be attractive. It's only the ones you see in porno or in the Bally's Fitness commercials that I like. Lean, muscular and well endowed.
Of course, these are the guys I'm least likely to attract (see headline) and have learned that, even in a sexual relationship, it's emotion that counts.
Perhaps your gf would react better to an emotion rather than an urge.

Thanks for the thoughts...everyone.

It's weird for me, BP, I don't even find those men to be "attractive" per se. It's sorta like...only the midsection that I care about.

What do you mean by "react better to emotion"?

[foreverbisexy]

thought I would say what came to mind, I had a g/f whose boyfriend was not into men at all, never slept with one, but loved butt play for himself.

It's just a thought, especially since you are not physically attracted to them (correct me if I am wrong) maybe your gf can help with that?

I don't know it's just what came to mind when I read your last post

Have a great day!
foreverbisexy~ :2cents:

[kenny]

Im the same way Zen. I have had oral sex with probably 20 different guys over the past 25 years but have never been attracted to men. It actually discusts me to see two men kiss, even on video. However, I do love oral sex with a guy. No anal, no hugging, no kissing, just oral. Youre totally normal (or Im not)