Latex: have we got the problem, uh, licked?

[biwords]

Here's a question I haven't been able to work out, but maybe some of you have.

I've never had someone cum in my mouth and was greatly looking forward to it. Unfortunately, the safe-sex literature I've been reading says it's an unsafe practice except within a monogamous relationship, since it can transmit syphilis, gonorrhea, etc, etc, and that HIV transmission, though not common, can occur as well.

I asked my gay first cousin who said that if he were in a bathhouse and the person he was with insisted on using a condom for oral, he'd just walk away.

I suspect that even the so-called ultrathin condoms (which I gather are only 20% thinner than regular) seriously interfere with the pleasure and intimacy of oral sex. On the other hand, I am STD-free and would like to keep it that way.

I'm very interested to hear from others on this. Have you tried oral with a condom? Do you use one regularly for oral? If you were with some new guy who insisted on it, would you walk away? Do you ask your partner/date not to come in your mouth?

Is there a halfway position -- tongue and lips on bare skin on the perineum, balls and shaft, but a condom over the head at least when it looks like partner/date is nearing his key moment?

[dans94]

I don't particularly like condoms with oral sex but what can ya do? Your partner doesn't have to cum in your mouth to transmit ANYTHING. There are plenty of fluids coming from the penis even when first starting a bj if the person has had a hardon for very long. Bottom line, it's a personal choice but it brings new meaning to the term "he has a cock to die for." :eek:

[biwords]

Or "he who wraps and licks today, lives to lick another day".
Wasn't sure from your posting what your own practice is, if that's not too personal?

[DiamondDog]

I've used a condom for reciving oral sex when I lived in an area where there was a very big syphilis outbreak, and I was having sex with a guy who I didn't know.

Don't listen to people who go to bath houses, a lot of times they don't care about safer sex and bath houses are notorious for diseases and meth.

One main point of oral transmission by HIV is through the tonsils. Because of irritation of the penis to the back of the mouth, transmission there is higher than any other method, barring open exposure to blood cells not normally present (such as the gums and other open wounds).

HOWEVER, although the virus can establish infection in individual tonsil cells there, there is still only limited progression into a primary infection.

In other words, the tonsils get banged around and irritated. Transmission can occure there more often than other transmission points in the healthy mouth, but it is also not common for it to "take hold."

Also, pre-cum has a MUCH higher viral load in an HIV+ individual than actual semen.

The HIV virus builds up in the testicles and other points. When precum occurs, it flushes all those live HIV bodies out.

Risk of exposure when unsafe sex occurs with an individual of unknown HIV statis is about 1:1000.

It goes down to 1:1 when unprotected sex that includes determined exposure possibility when the exposure occurs with an HIV+ person with a high viral load.

Basically, if you have unsafe sex with a person who has a high viral load, and there is an exposure point, HIV *WILL* transmit. It's not just a risk at that point.

I was told all of this info by accredited doctors and epidemiologists.

If you do give oral sex to a person you don't know, don't swallow, and don't let them cum in your mouth. Also, don't brush your teeth before giving oral sex.

Why not just date a man, have him become your boyfriend, and both get tested?

[biwords]

Your posting was pure gold -- thanks!
The boyfriend idea is a great one, tho complicated in my case by the fact that I have a common-law wife whom I love. Problem is, I can love two people.....(now there's a topic for a thread!).

[dans94]

Or "he who wraps and licks today, lives to lick another day".
Wasn't sure from your posting what your own practice is, if that's not too personal?

Thanks, can I use this one? I have only given oral to one man using a rubber...oops, condom. I didn't know him but was hornier than hell. The other few people I have had oral with are friends that I trust...with my life, I guess.

[biwords]

Of course you can use it! and you've given me much to think on and, frankly, wrestle with -- thanks. I'd still be very interested to hear from other site members how they feel about using condoms (thin ones) for oral sex.

[tydwater51]

I've heard and read a lot about HIV transmission through unprotected oral sex but most of it seems "theoretical" and/or conflicting. Does anyone know, are there any actual documented cases of oral transmission?

[biwords]

My family doctor says that yes, there are.

[DiamondDog]

I've heard and read a lot about HIV transmission through unprotected oral sex but most of it seems "theoretical" and/or conflicting. Does anyone know, are there any actual documented cases of oral transmission?

yeah there are documented cases. People say it's impossible to become poz from oral sex but it's not true (I wish it were).

http://www.thebody.com/sowadsky/latex.html

[Tommy2020]

Reminds me of the joke about the couple who wanted to spend the night together. They went to a bed and breakfast for their first night together. It was at a farm house. The following morning, after a torrid night of safe sex. the owner / farmer yelled upstairs that it was time for breakfast. To that, the couple yelled back that they were living on the fruits of love. The old farmer yelled back... "If that is what you're doing, quit throwing the skins out the window, they're choking my hogs."

Tommy2020

:):):):):)

ED... nature's way of saying, 'no hard feelings'.

[biwords]

I'll try not to think of that when next ordering a bacon sandwich.

[Domino]

Condoms taste horrid when sucking cock.

[biwords]

Domino: what about the flavored ones?

[darkeyes]

We should all be aware of the dangers of unprotected oral sex. It is less likely for HIV to be passed orally, but it is a fact that we must all live with. However, in some ways it is all moot to me, for it has been a while since I sucked on cock, clad or otherwise, and is not top of my priority list, but I have never yet enjoyed the experience of oral sex with clothed willie. It has always seemed unnatural and quite simply I wont. Guys must lose sensation when wearing a condom, and it is the whole experience of sex which has always meant so much to me. A wrapped up cock is hardly the whole experience for me, and the taste of condom, flavoured or otherwise is hardly an attractive proposition.

Maybe I am selfish. Possibly irresponsible, but I hope people do not consider me so. As far as I am aware HIV when passed orally, happens not as a result of digestion (though I do not entirely dismiss this possibility) and passing into the system that way, but when sores or skin breaks exist for the infection to pass into the body, and if ever I or a partner had such sores or breaks oral sex with male or female has never been an option.

[spartca]

There are definitely risks with unprotected oral sex, but HIV is generally not considered one of them.

Here is a nifty chart that shows all the risks of most sexual activities:

http://www.dph.sf.ca.us/sfcityclinic/stdbasics/stdchart.asp

Hope that helps! :)