Monogamy with one gender, Poly with the other?

[Herbwoman39]

Here's an interesting notion I'm throwing out to get some input on.

As a bisexual, do you think it's possible to be monogamous with one gender while being polyamorous with the other?

For instance, I'm monogamous with my husband. I will not have any sexual relations with other men, nor do I have any interest beyond drooling over certain Hollywood cuties. HOWEVER, when it comes to women, I'm in touch with three or four different women and would happily sleep with all of them if they'll let me.

Or am I just hitting my second puberty? ;)

[Fire Lotus]

To answer your question, yes I do think it is possible.

My husband and I are a polyamorous couple. Although I'd say I identify more closely as gender monogamous. I'm happy with just having one man. While it could be alright to have sex/relationships with others, I don't look for them. One the other hand, I have great interests in women. If/when the oppertunity arises for play or relationships with them, I'm so there. However, if I'm ever to find a woman to get serious with, the play with others will stop. One is all I really need.

[DeafF2M]

I certainly can relate to this...

While I am capable of having sex with many men, I have never had the inclination to sleep with any woman other than my wife.

hmm... this is a really thought provoking subject... I'm going to think on this.. :bibounce:

[DiamondDog]

Lots of people are closed/exclusive with one gender but have an open relationship with another gender.

[LoveLion]

I think it is very possible. Especially with the notion of marriage. Alot of married couples dont mind allowing their parters to be with another member of the same sex because they dont feel threatened by them (threatened that they may lose their partner to the other person permanently). This usually happens when one person in the marriage is straight and the other is bi. The straight person doesnt think that their partner could ever express real love for their own gender and thinks that their partner will only be with a member of his/her own sex for sexual reasons. This may be untrue for some bis though, but the strait partner doesnt realize this.

I think it is great to let your partner experiment with someone of their same gender. Its like giving them a gift, allowing them to experience something that you can never give them.

I dont think I would be able to bring myself to let my partner be with someone else regardless of gender. I would just get jelious and suspicious. Maybe its because I am monogamist by nature. Man or woman, I can be with either, but only with one person.

Anyways, back on topic. Yes I think it is possible. When it comes to sexuality, anything is possible!!

[pasco_lol_cpl]

We think its quite possible to be in your situation. There are many like yourself out there.

[dibbspixie]

both my wife and i are the same we will only sleep with each other or members of the same sex. we are both very happy with this.
Some people think its a strange situation but for us and alot of people its the best way to be.

[littlerayofsunshine]

While I would be completely happy with only being with hubby, and also having sex with females. Our current situation, allows me to dabble in the penis pool, from time to time.

[deletetacount123]

Im only into monogamous relationships.
Just how I am. I like to be with one person a time cause to me, it means more that way in a relationship.

I guess deep down I know if my partner is Poly and sleeps with other people I probably would become jealous and I don't want to be... even if I know that other person, I just wouldn't feel comfortable at all being with a polyamorous person.

I don't know if that makes me a bad person but I do believe in just doing what makes you comfortable.... if your not, then you're gonna be miserable.
I just tend to like to do things in my comfort zone :-)

[Fire Lotus]

I don't know if that makes me a bad person but I do believe in just doing what makes you comfortable.... if your not, then you're gonna be miserable.


That doesn't make you a bad person at all. Mono relationships is what you believe in and what works for you. And you are right, if you are in a relationship dynamic you are not comfortable with, you will be miserablle.

Before I got involved with with my husband, I had only been in mono relationships and was quite content with that. When I met my husband, I knew he was already poly. Going into that relationship was fine with me too. I can't exactly explain why that is. I just know I feel secure in knowing what he feels for me will not change or lessen if he gets involved with someone else. I feel the same about him if I were to get involved with someone else.

[deletetacount123]

Fire Lotus, Thanks :-)

Ya, right now Monogamy works for me and is what I believe in..... and is also what Im most comfortable with too :-)
But I do have a open mind and I know its bad to say "never" cause half of the times you actually do, whatever you said you would never do lol
I don't know.... Ive only been in Monogamy relationships and I feel comfortabe there. :-) You can't help who you fall in love with I know.... so what happens will happen and be talked about at the time.... I just hope people are honest at the start lol :-)

Tasha