blondebabe
Feb 20, 2007, 7:15 PM
Ok, so I seem to have managed to land myself in somewhat of a complicated situation which has seemingly resulted in me losing one of my best friends. I found this site earlier and wondered whether any of you had been in a similar situation or just if you had any thoughts on this? It might take a while to explain, so please bare with me!
I would probably define myself as being bisexual, although I won't deny that I do prefer females. However, I have not told anyone in 'real life' that...but a few people that I have met on the internet are aware of my feelings.
So... late last year I became close friends with my manager (J) at work. In the few months that we were friends, it was really intense and it was literally a case of we could tell each other anything etc and we just felt completely at ease.
Following a work party, there were rumours at work that we were sleeping together and these have continued since. This is because they found out that when we went out we would share a bed - obviously, being men at work, they rather liked this idea!
Anyway, early January I was thrown out of my mum's house after an argument... (there's just over 20 years age difference between J and I - she's 39) so I stayed with J for a while. Now there'd always been an element of touchy-feelyness to our friendship and quite often sexual undertones in terms of what we were saying in front of others etc... but it became even stronger at hers...she was a lot more touchy feely, there was a lot more sexual innuendo from both of us, we would be like sweetheart/gorgeous etc, she would tell me to come into her bed as soon as her boyfriend had got up...
Then the one night we were talking until the early hours of the morning and she told me that she had once slept with a woman and how it took a woman to know what turned a woman on etc. I said that I believe you fall for the person and not the gender so if I was interested in someone then it wouldn't stop me the fact that they were female.
The following morning I was leaving for a few hours...anyway she was at the computer table and I went over to show her something. And she put her hand in the front pocket of my jeans and kind of pulled me closer and was half caressing my leg. It's not that I felt uncomfortable with this because I didn't in any way, but it did confuse me slightly as I wouldn't have done this with a friend.
That night we got absolutely and utterly trased, we then went to bed as usual - her boyfriend was away so I was sharing with her. One thing led to another and we ended up pulling. This of course led on to something else and so it continued... we didn't end up going all the way, but even so this lasted for an hour so it wasn't exactly like it was just one drunken pull.
Afterwards, we were fine with each other for a week and then she just stopped talking to me completely. It was about another week and a half until I heard anything else - she was leaving to move 3 hours away after her boyfriend (of 2 years) had dumped her. I rang her to try and offer my support etc but she didnt want to know.
So we didnt speak again... then on friday last week I sent an email to try and sort things out between us. Only her ex read it instead and rang her to tell her that I had phoned him and told him what had happened between us. She has still not seen this email. So of course yesterday afternoon I got some really nasty text messages from her and I think that we can safely now say that we probably wont be speaking again.
But I just don't understand what happened. Or how she feels about it etc. I don't get why she wont talk to me anymore, especially as she initiated it. And... just generally everything that went on between us. I feel like I was played for a fool from day one and that she was never really interested in being friends just used me while she needed someone.
But argh...any opinions???
I would probably define myself as being bisexual, although I won't deny that I do prefer females. However, I have not told anyone in 'real life' that...but a few people that I have met on the internet are aware of my feelings.
So... late last year I became close friends with my manager (J) at work. In the few months that we were friends, it was really intense and it was literally a case of we could tell each other anything etc and we just felt completely at ease.
Following a work party, there were rumours at work that we were sleeping together and these have continued since. This is because they found out that when we went out we would share a bed - obviously, being men at work, they rather liked this idea!
Anyway, early January I was thrown out of my mum's house after an argument... (there's just over 20 years age difference between J and I - she's 39) so I stayed with J for a while. Now there'd always been an element of touchy-feelyness to our friendship and quite often sexual undertones in terms of what we were saying in front of others etc... but it became even stronger at hers...she was a lot more touchy feely, there was a lot more sexual innuendo from both of us, we would be like sweetheart/gorgeous etc, she would tell me to come into her bed as soon as her boyfriend had got up...
Then the one night we were talking until the early hours of the morning and she told me that she had once slept with a woman and how it took a woman to know what turned a woman on etc. I said that I believe you fall for the person and not the gender so if I was interested in someone then it wouldn't stop me the fact that they were female.
The following morning I was leaving for a few hours...anyway she was at the computer table and I went over to show her something. And she put her hand in the front pocket of my jeans and kind of pulled me closer and was half caressing my leg. It's not that I felt uncomfortable with this because I didn't in any way, but it did confuse me slightly as I wouldn't have done this with a friend.
That night we got absolutely and utterly trased, we then went to bed as usual - her boyfriend was away so I was sharing with her. One thing led to another and we ended up pulling. This of course led on to something else and so it continued... we didn't end up going all the way, but even so this lasted for an hour so it wasn't exactly like it was just one drunken pull.
Afterwards, we were fine with each other for a week and then she just stopped talking to me completely. It was about another week and a half until I heard anything else - she was leaving to move 3 hours away after her boyfriend (of 2 years) had dumped her. I rang her to try and offer my support etc but she didnt want to know.
So we didnt speak again... then on friday last week I sent an email to try and sort things out between us. Only her ex read it instead and rang her to tell her that I had phoned him and told him what had happened between us. She has still not seen this email. So of course yesterday afternoon I got some really nasty text messages from her and I think that we can safely now say that we probably wont be speaking again.
But I just don't understand what happened. Or how she feels about it etc. I don't get why she wont talk to me anymore, especially as she initiated it. And... just generally everything that went on between us. I feel like I was played for a fool from day one and that she was never really interested in being friends just used me while she needed someone.
But argh...any opinions???