Looking for the poly life

[PolyLoveTriad]

My husband and I are poly, and omg its sooooo hard to find a guy who doesnt just want sex! Why is that? I know a lot of men are married, I understand that, but for the single ones, most want a night of hot sex or a few hook ups. Finding a guy who is bi, to make friends with, and start a relationship with has got to be the hardest thing we have ever done lol

So Im wondering, just what would any of you suggest to find a bi guy who wants more than a hot night? Ill take all the help I can get lol !

[spartca]

I've had some luck at bi support groups and poly meetups... internet dating on sites like this work pretty well... have you tried okcupid.com? You might also try gay.com, there are actually a lot of bi guys on there.

[ncbeachgoers]

We understand completely!!..Want to have sex, 300 takers, want a relationship, you can hear the rush of people leaving your general vicinity!! :male: :female:

[Barejerrfla]

I wish you all the luck in finding your polyamourous relationship. I have been in a couple relationships in the past and they tend to get complicated, well beyond the sexual aspect. Time and how it is shared with each other, likes, dislikes, you also need to look at how secure your present relationship is......

[leizy]

totally difficult. first, finding a bi guy - tough. second, finding a bi guy with interests you share and whom you find attractive. tougher. last, finding a bi guy who is interested in a relationship, with both of you? the sample is so friggin small, it takes a microscope to see it!

we've had a couple of close calls, but no joy in mudville. i acually wrote a novella couple of years ago, about a married couple who do find such a guy. it was very much a cathartic and centering experience to write, as it helped me understand what my desires were, and express them to my wife.

good luck. if you find the answer, please let me know!
cheers.
david

[DiamondDog]

As a guy that's poly and single I figured I'd chime in and say that I don't get involved with married couples (especially the ones with kids) since I'd wind up being a 3rd wheel.

[spartca]

Personally I don't mind being the 3rd wheel to a couple - can be fun! Less rights, but less responsibilities to match. It's nice to be a secondary partner sometimes. I've had really nice connections like this go on for years! :)

[DiamondDog]

Personally I don't mind being the 3rd wheel to a couple - can be fun! Less rights, but less responsibilities to match. It's nice to be a secondary partner sometimes. I've had really nice connections like this go on for years! :)
What I mean is that a M/F married couple have something I don't, each other, years of being together in a relationship, and a legal marriage and all the rights that go with it.

Throw children into the equation and it gets even more complicated.

A secondary partner can easily dissapear if just one person doesn't get along or like you.

This can even easily happen in M/M/M relationships.

I think that by not having as many responsibilities you're setting up the relationship to fail since it's not being serious.

Of course now that the white, educated, middle-class hets have found polyamory, it's acceptable and universal. ;-)

[NorthBiEast]

The more I learn about it, the more this type arrangement appeals to me. My hubby likes the idea too. Of course, would take more work to keep everything balanced, but it sounds good if you can find the right match of partners (much like any romantic relationship, ) ;)

[Trinity-Fl]

As I've posted before, we lived as a triad (MFM) for almost 4 years. The children were older so less a problem.

When I met the couple with whom I shared the triad, I was at a point in my life where I could up and move and I moved in with them. For most men over 30 that is difficult and gets more so with time. Career, family and personal ties are hard to settle. But I did it. :) We tried to have as close to an equal triad as we could. We bought a home together and he bought a new pickup truck so we could all three sit comfortabley in the front seat. :)

Now the wife and I are a couple in a long term relationship. We now have a "steady" friend who visits with us once or twice a month. It's not as fulfilling as the live-in triad but it's better than not seeing anyone.

BTW, the triad met on the internet in a bi chat room. The current male partner is a business aquaintance.

We've had some nice relationships with men we met at our poly group, Central Florida Poly. We're heading to our third annual retreat in March. We still hold out hope for that perfect guy for whom we'd be the perfect couple.

CC-SC

[selfe]

http://polymatchmaker.com/

You might wanna try there. ;) good luck

Self

[BI BOYTOY]

HI THEIR .im sorry for the problem me and my wife is poly to and are currently looking for that sertain guy.and are having the same problem, i wish i could help.just wanted to say that their is someone in the same bout as you. i wish you the best of luck in your serch. :bigrin: