What turns ladies on, or off, about bi guys?

[BiNStLouis45]

I'm curious to hear from you ladies...and guys...

What turns a lady on or off about bi guys?

It seems f/f is so much more accepted. Any thoughts on that?

Is there really alot less ladies into seeing two guys together than the other way around?

Where are all the gals into bi guys? I am begining to wonder if they even exist
!

Just an open conversation on this would be great!

Tim

[spartca]

I've found that there are actually a lot of women who love bi guys. It's just that it's not politic to admit it.

As far as what they like: a well-developed "feminine side," a feminist outlook that assists in maintaining egalitarian relationships, the mere suggestion of or the actual thrill of being a witness to men loving men are all a big turn-on for many women.

What they don't like: men who have sex with men (MSM) are at higher risk for HIV transmission, the common perception that MSM are not "real men," lack of desire to participate in familiar traditional gender roles.

I'm sure we can think of many others!

[Chaia]

Seeing two men being tender with each other...

[BiNStLouis45]

I have never had the chance to be with a guy in front or with a woman. I am searching for that however, in many different combinations...

Tim

[PolyLoveTriad]

It totally turns me on to see my husband with another man. I get the best of both worlds, so does he, double pleasure for me lol For some reason seeing him give a bj to another man just about makes my toes curl! Unfortunetly, finding a bi guy who wants to be in a serious 3 way relationship is a much harder thing to find so yes, we are still single! lol

Anyway, hope this gives u some insight :)

[warmpuppy]

My first wife admitted to me after our divorce that she had always fantasized about watching me make love to another guy. Wish we could have had that communication when we were still together.

[gentlepen9]

What attracts me to bi-men is the possibility to having a "fluid" relationship; a relationship that isn't governed or
bound by the "supposed" ideals of how a man and a woman are to behave in a relationship.

What I don't like about bi-men has more to do with society than the men themselves which is the secrecy to which some feel
they have to resort to in regards to their sexuality.

Spartca I think you touched on something that might be true. It probably isn't socially acceptable for a woman to openly admit that she likes or even prefers a bisexual man let alone admit that she likes m/m action.

I think that watching two men together is a "dirty" little secret that many women have. But a lot of us aren't in the habit of admitting what we like sexually let alone admitting to something that isn't considered the "norm". The more we start to see and get accustom to men being together more women will probably admit to liking m/m action.

[jazz5]

I think that watching two men together is a "dirty" little secret that many women have. But a lot of us aren't in the habit of admitting what we like sexually let alone admitting to something that isn't considered the "norm". The more we start to see and get accustom to men being together more women will probably admit to liking m/m action.

Yep! That is my wife. To my face she claims she doesn't like m/m or f/f but when she is alone and I walk into the room if there is a program like "L" or the gay male shows she is glued to the TV.

[bi~NOTIBBW~lvn]

Personally,
Being a Bi~sexual Female... mmm I really don't see an issue with men having the same needs as woman wants from another woman. Men are very emotional too when it comes to sex. Well, I have a friend who is a Bi~sexual male, he is awesome in bed with the females he has played with. I can say that cause I am one of them. Bi~men are generally more into it all vs. just wanting to get off and go to sleep. Don't get me wrong, there maybe a few of them out there. I am even like that at times. Then there is the sensual side that wants to make it last as long as possible. So, really people... stop judging about something that is happening in your own backyard.... I am not mad, just stating how I feel on the issue posted is all.... :bibounce:

[bicomrade]

This is a very interesting thread. It seems to me that most biguys don't think that women get turned on by watching two guys get it on. I told my wife about my fantasies of sucking a guys cock in front of her and she just about had me a heart attack. I also think many bi-guys don't want to admit to being bi-sexual with other guys. I sure din't until recently.

[NorthBiEast]

I wish my hubby was bi sometimes, I think it'd be great to see him with another guy.

[bigirl_inwv]

I LOVE bi guys. Gay/Lesbian porn is the only kind of porn that does anything for me. And there are many many times that I've wished my fiance was bi. I've seen him suck a dildo for me a few times, but that's as far as it's gone. (I'm working on that one, though!)

As far as why it turns me on.....I have no idea. lol.

[Becca0702]

I find it very erotic to watch a man with another man...not sure why but I do. I've enjoyed discussing fantasies, dreams and watching bi/gay porn with my ex-boyfriend as well.

[rockstarvomit]

I find myself extremely attracted to gay men, so it seems that a bi man would be the next best thing ;)

[bothbi2006]

Well my husband and i are both bi so we both get the best of both worlds.He loves to see me with a woman kissing and licking and then i love to watch him suck a man. We see same gender together and separate but we only play with other bi couples together.This works for us and we have a committed strong loving relationship.Our time spent just the two of us is more erotic than i have ever experienced with any other hetro guy. :flag4:

[Sparks]

What attracts me to bi-men is the possibility to having a "fluid" relationship; a relationship that isn't governed or
bound by the "supposed" ideals of how a man and a woman are to behave in a relationship.

What I don't like about bi-men has more to do with society than the men themselves which is the secrecy to which some feel
they have to resort to in regards to their sexuality.

Spartca I think you touched on something that might be true. It probably isn't socially acceptable for a woman to openly admit that she likes or even prefers a bisexual man let alone admit that she likes m/m action.

I think that watching two men together is a "dirty" little secret that many women have. But a lot of us aren't in the habit of admitting what we like sexually let alone admitting to something that isn't considered the "norm". The more we start to see and get accustom to men being together more women will probably admit to liking m/m action.


Well spoken, Angel.

[Avocado]

I LOVE bi guys. Gay/Lesbian porn is the only kind of porn that does anything for me. And there are many many times that I've wished my fiance was bi. I've seen him suck a dildo for me a few times, but that's as far as it's gone. (I'm working on that one, though!)

As far as why it turns me on.....I have no idea. lol.

Snap about the porn!

[carlb]

What attracts me to bi-men is the possibility to having a "fluid" relationship; a relationship that isn't governed or bound by the "supposed" ideals of how a man and a woman are to behave in a relationship.

I suppose, to some point, having a bisexual as a partner has one advantage: someone who's had same-sex partners knows what it is to encounter some of the annoying habits of that gender - the rude, pushy, ugly, aggressive - and hopefully is a little less likely to unconsciously repeat all of these same mistakes.


What I don't like about bi-men has more to do with society than the men themselves which is the secrecy to which some feel they have to resort to in regards to their sexuality.

I think there is a longstanding attitude that the male isn't allowed to show weakness, period. Unfortunate, but nothing new.

At some level, there is a long-evolved awareness that in too many species the interaction between males can drop to the level of a bullfight or cockfight - the winner in the field takes all, the loser gets the one-way trip to the Burger Barn or the fried chicken stand.

So this rooster is going to have to put on an utterly false face and act tough? Yes... no way he will surrender to a certain Colonel from Kentucky.


Spartca I think you touched on something that might be true. It probably isn't socially acceptable for a woman to openly admit that she likes or even prefers a bisexual man let alone admit that she likes m/m action.

Part of this may be that bi-males are already heavily stigmatized, both through homophobia and through fear that they represent a greater STD risk.

Another part may be that, from a very tender age onward, females are raised to see their sexuality largely as a means to an end - not just to get affection, but as a path to marriage and financial support. They're told and retold stories that begin "once upon a time" and end "she married the wealthy prince and lived happily ever after" right from the cradle, long before they're old enough to learn to read the words themselves.

Contrast this with the more infamous side of MSM, the one where males who like males don't even need a reason to have sex - just an opportunity. Casual sex, anonymous sex, you name it... it's all very easy to find (perhaps too easy, given the risks of STD's).

What woman wants to compete with that?

Instinctively, the attitude is that sex is something that women have that men want and that it's anything but free - this evolved largely because, through most of human history, the punishment for women having sex was babies which aren't inexpensive to raise.

The "lady of the night" is outright despised by other women not because she charges for her services, but because her asking price is perceived as far too low.

For a woman to compete for her partner against any MSM - gay or bi males who have relatively little to lose by giving men sexual pleasure for free - creates a very uneven playing field. Some women may feel threatened by that, and it's not just the ones that use guys as meal tickets.

A woman doesn't want to take the risk of losing her man to another man. Ever.

Maybe not even if he can be tied to the bedposts for a hot threesome. ;)


I think that watching two men together is a "dirty" little secret that many women have. But a lot of us aren't in the habit of admitting what we like sexually let alone admitting to something that isn't considered the "norm". The more we start to see and get accustomed to men being together more women will probably admit to liking m/m action.

Hard to say. There is some interest in women "turning the tables" and putting men in a position of being the ones to have to show a little vulnerability for a change.

Terms like "pegging" and "bend over boyfriend", in the context of using certain sex toys which allow the female to turn the tables and take the male role in penetration, are all neologisms.

The visibility that these ideas have attracted is a relatively recent phenomenon.

Meanwhile, the whole "fausse lesbienne" genre in mainstream porn plays to common straight-male fantasies of having two women or watching two women. Show most of this material to a real lesbian and she would likely roll her eyes in disdain. Quite simply, most of it has no basis in reality; it's some heterosexual male's fantasy and nothing more.

By contrast, male-on-male porn isn't in the mainstream. There's plenty being produced, but it's typically created with the intention of marketing it to actual gay males, not just straight women curious about watching two men or fantasizing about forcing a male to finally drop the tough-guy façade and actually show a little vulnerability for a change.

If it's out there, odds are that someone will watch it - and not just the original target audience. Nonetheless, at the moment gay-male porn not something that the average straight hubby can bring home to wifey as a romantic gift - inevitably either he's afraid of being labelled as gay, or he knows that she will fear that if he's bi she could lose this man to another man.

[carlb]

I LOVE bi guys. Gay/Lesbian porn is the only kind of porn that does anything for me. And there are many many times that I've wished my fiance was bi. I've seen him suck a dildo for me a few times, but that's as far as it's gone. (I'm working on that one, though!)

As far as why it turns me on.....I have no idea. lol.

Forbidden "fruits" are always sweetest? *wink*

[julie]

.....well, i'm turned on by bi guys (and bi girls too!) because they are bi, like me!

i think it has something to do with the empathy of being part of such a minority group..

i recently became very close again to a childhood sweetheart of mine... until recently, this man was probably the love of my life and the chemistry we shared all those years ago had not diminshed at our reunion.

This man wanted me back... he desired me and had no wish to share me. I was flattered, and very tempted to submit to this mans desires... yet i knew i couldnt. not because of disloyalty to tom_uk..although that was there, of course. but because this man, who i adore, is straight. a straight man who respected, but had no comprehension, of my (bi)sexuality. because of that, i could not contemplate going back there.

...this encounter made me really value just how much i gain from being in a 'bi' relationship with tom... and i now realise that straight men, and also lesbians, are off limits for me because, without empathy with my sexuality, i
cannot make that spiritual emotional connection that, for me, sex is just hollow without that crucial element.

but hey, thats just me.. interesting question though..thanks ;)

Julie :female: :three:

[Gemini523]

All I know is that while I have yet to be another man, my wife loves watching me suck her dildo, has an orgasm while taking me from behind, and would love to see me in action with another man. She is very turned off by guys kissing and/or cuddling with each other though, and I have to admit I feel the same.

[flexuality]

For a woman to compete for her partner against any MSM - gay or bi males who have relatively little to lose by giving men sexual pleasure for free - creates a very uneven playing field. Some women may feel threatened by that, and it's not just the ones that use guys as meal tickets.

A woman doesn't want to take the risk of losing her man to another man. Ever.



Excuse me?? If I was in the kind of relationship where I felt I had to "COMPETE" for my partner, then I would seriously question the relationship.

Bisexuality is not a competition - at least not for me and Solomon. I do not view our relationship as a "playing ground", nor do I see him as a "meal ticket."

And as far as your statement of "A woman doesn't want to take the risk of losing her man to another man. Ever." goes....I think that's a pretty arrogant blanket statement that only goes to show that ignorance does not only exist outside the bisexual community.

First, I do not own him and second, if I "lost" him to another man, then I probably didn't "have" him to begin with and I would be better off because that is not the kind of relationship I want in the first place.

[spartca]

Carlb and flexuality, you both make excellent points - carlb brings up the very real biological/evolutionary differences for women and men in terms of their risk or opportunity cost for sexual interactions... while flexuality points out that a solid relationship based on honesty, communication, and trust can weather the stresses of multiple relationships... your views are actually quite compatible I think! :)

[flexuality]

I'm curious to hear from you ladies...and guys...

What turns a lady on or off about bi guys?

It seems f/f is so much more accepted. Any thoughts on that?

Is there really alot less ladies into seeing two guys together than the other way around?

Where are all the gals into bi guys? I am begining to wonder if they even exist
!

Just an open conversation on this would be great!

Tim

I like bi guys...I just don't like all bi guys. Same for everyone else too really....I like some people, I don't like others. Some people like me, some don't.

What I do like about the bi guys that I do like is the sense of honesty about being bi I guess.

I think men tend to be more arroused visually than women (generally speaking) and while women like the visual too, we probably are also thinking things like "how would he treat me?" kind of stuff. :rolleyes:

[julie]

I like bi guys...I just don't like all bi guys. Same for everyone else too really....I like some people, I don't like others. Some people like me, some don't.

What I do like about the bi guys that I do like is the sense of honesty about being bi I guess.

I think men tend to be more arroused visually than women (generally speaking) and while women like the visual too, we probably are also thinking things like "how would he treat me?" kind of stuff. :rolleyes:

i feel very much the same way flex... x

[smonique]

In my "limited" experience. Bi men seem to be more open and actually more sensual. There is no holding back with the several pleasure zones of their bodies...specifically their ass or their mouths. Yummy!!!.

[ElizabethJane]

I think that making a judgement as to the differences between bi men and straight men, and gay men for that matter - and turn ons and turn offs - well it just propogates the differences already in place. People are people - we need to accept people for who they are. One thing that may be a turn on about one bi person or whomever - may NOT be a turn on with another person of the same sexuality. Everything is relative.

Personal attractions are just that - personal. heh

I for example happen to love a mans strong shoulders, and muscular back, where on a woman I love the nape of her neck, the slope of her lower back, etc. BUT - not every woman has a beautiful nape or lower back, and not every man has etc etc, you get my drift.

Life is beautiful isn't it? :bigrin:

[spartca]

I find it interesting that this thread has about twice as many views than most other topics, proportionate to the number of posts.

A lot of people are interested in reading about this topic, but folks are holding back from posting...

I wonder what's up with that?

[free2peek]

I first came out to my wife long before we even got married. She was turned on by m/m sex. In fact one of our favorite things to do together is watch bi porn. We, my wife and I, have found over time that many women find m/m or f/f sex a turn on. Why do you think Broke back was a big hit? Even if they don't want to admit it out loud. Point being their out there. Just be open to that person and up front from the start you might be surprised.

[jamiehue]

.....well, i'm turned on by bi guys (and bi girls too!) because they are bi, like me!

i think it has something to do with the empathy of being part of such a minority group..

i recently became very close again to a childhood sweetheart of mine... until recently, this man was probably the love of my life and the chemistry we shared all those years ago had not diminshed at our reunion.

This man wanted me back... he desired me and had no wish to share me. I was flattered, and very tempted to submit to this mans desires... yet i knew i couldnt. not because of disloyalty to tom_uk..although that was there, of course. but because this man, who i adore, is straight. a straight man who respected, but had no comprehension, of my (bi)sexuality. because of that, i could not contemplate going back there.

...this encounter made me really value just how much i gain from being in a 'bi' relationship with tom... and i now realise that straight men, and also lesbians, are off limits for me because, without empathy with my sexuality, i
cannot make that spiritual emotional connection that, for me, sex is just hollow without that crucial element.

but hey, thats just me.. interesting question though..thanks ;)

Julie :female: :three:
empathywithmysexuality is why im here.

[BiNStLouis45]

Wow, I have been out of town and away from my computer. I am suprised by the response, and pleased.

At times I can be sensual with another man, other times its more raw sexual.

I love the fantasy of forced bi, yet know the difference between real and fantasy. The lady ties the guy to the bed, blind folds him, then introduces another guy....or erotic dom/sub games in many differnt combinations. The couple goes to a dominant man or couple to see each other used in front of each other....or many other fun combinations....love two guys in the shower together....or deep in the woods, or cave, or tied over the Harley....:o)

Tim

[bigregory]

What really turns on the ladies about bi guys has nothing to do with sex.
Its the fact that they get a gay designer and a hetro handyman rolled into one. :lokai:

[spartca]

What really turns on the ladies about bi guys has nothing to do with sex.
Its the fact that they get a gay designer and a hetro handyman rolled into one. :lokai:

LOL you just described me fairly well! Thanks, you made my night with that one!!! :)

[Seeker72]

Well my other half does not like the thought of two men going at it, yet a female friend in Australia gets very turned on by the thought.

I asked her what it was that turned her on and she said that not only watching two men give each other oral was the turn on but the thought of seeing something considered "Taboo" by society (a secret as she put it) gave her a thrill that once wrapped into one bundle became a very erotic fantasy/action for her.

Both my other half and my friend are Bi, so it boils down to different strokes for different folks.

IMHO.

[bigregory]

LOL you just described me fairly well! Thanks, you made my night with that one!!! :)
I was truly happy someone saw my humor so thank you spartca. :tongue:

[CountryLover]

I was part of a circle of bi guy friends for over 10 years. I learned to love the freedom of expression - sexual, emotional and social.

I've found that men who have accepted their differing from the "norm" have a different perspective on life, a deeper understanding, or so it seems to me. That's VERY appealing to me!

Then of course, there's also the fact that I'm a TOTAL horndog and absolutely LOVE hot sweaty man sex ;)

[gjmwbimale48]

I have played with other guys with my current wife and 3 other gf's or ex-wife....

i can tell you that they are turned on by the same thing that turns guys on by see two women having sex.... it has to do with the taboo, and the upsetting of barriers.... and the sharing of a moment that is very very private.... plus usually they get to me the center of attention (for at least part of the time) by two guys that are very aroused and uninhibited..... whats not to like???

[littlerayofsunshine]

It's the build up, anxiety, passion, excitement, the giving in, getting lost in pleasure, finding one's self, and letting go. The heat, and desires, moaning, arching, the tender manipulations that men can perform with each other that turn raw and aggressive as passions increase. This and more, is what turns me on about bi-men. This and more, is what I get out of wearing my strapon.

[blech42]

I don't really know what tunes women (in general) on or off about bi guys. I can tell you that a past girlfriend of mine expressed her desire to see me kiss another man -well, make out, really. I talked with her about her idea/fantasy at the time relative to the whys and whatfores but the only answer she could provide was that she loved the idea of 'masculine intimacy'. I don't exactly know what she meant and, even though I tried to understand more fully, she eventually clammed up to my curiosity.

The one time that I've experienced a MMF threesome, the aforementioned girlfriend spent a great deal of time on the sidelines just watching. Honestly, I would like to have spent much more time experimenting and exploring with the other guy but he was just too much into being with my girlfriend. When it was all over and after he had left she and I discussed the matter: we both agreed that if we were to try that scenario again than we would like there to be more guy/guy action. My take on her point of view is that she wanted to see and know that I was enjoying the act of giving and receiving with another man. Of the women whom I've admitted to being my being bisexual this is often a sentiment that is expressed -that the "idea" of men receiving pleasure from "traditional" female sexual rolls is very appealing.

That's all I know so far. I'm still searching for 'that girl' of my dreams that understands, etc.......

[spoiledangel860505]

Two guys together is just as much of a turn on to me as two girls together. I think that alot of girls think two guys together is a turn on but don't admit it.

[TaylorMade]

For me... it started off with my love of football. I was a trainer for Varsity Football and wrestling in high school and watching the guys tease each other homoerotically (I always wondered about that. Why do straight men tease and joke homoerotically when they're in groups?). It went a long way while I was still trying to figure out my own sexuality. To my own mind in tune with history, it was like watching a rebirth of an ancient ritual of men bonding with men.
I supressed it because I worried about disease and not getting a man who was a "man". But as I've gotten to know men, wether, straight, bi, or gay. . .alot of my worries went away. My desires were stoked further when I think about how beautiful I personally find the naked male form . . .so it stood to reason. . .why NOT two men?

*Taylor*

[Rhuth]

Having never actually experienced a bi man, my reasoning for being attracted to the idea of a bi man is based in my taste in porn. I wish I could honestly state the cerebral and emotional reasons that Flexuality stated, but my reasons for liking it seem to be exactly the same reasons a men stereotypically enjoy watching two women. It’s just plain hot to watch!

I do have a cruel game that I play on occasion. I hesitate mentioning it, because it is really rather bitchy of me to do. It happens with the overly heterosexual male mentioned in another thread. Since I go out with women, we often times find ourselves being picked up on by these guys that will not take no for an answer. So I act interested in his overly masculine ways. I give a fake giggle at a derogatory joke about “fags”, and then initiate a conversation about what turns us on. At this point he thinks his evening is made.

I do not make any effort to lower my voice to avoid being overheard as I describe in detail what I would love to see two men do in the bedroom, then ask him if he would give it a try. Sometimes this makes him walk away, but sometimes they think they can say no and still have success with me. That is when I loudly explain that his lack of ability in the area makes him unattractive to me. Only once did this still not deter, and the bartender gave me an appreciative nod, and escorted him out.

The bartender was a hunk too! Bay area guys; go have a drink at Santana Row!

*handing the toolbox and the fabric swatches to bigregory and spartca*

[onewhocares]

I guess I have been one very luck women. I have only had the pleasure of sexual involvement with men who are bi sexual. I find, that on the whole, they are compassionate, loving, giving, intellectual, creative and so incredibly erotic. Seeing my husband with a man is so sensual. Yes, there are times when the sex is so hot, I can hardly stand it.

[BiNStLouis45]

Rhuth,

I am suprised you have never had someone take you up on the offer...

Tim

[wingnut]

I don't want to be a party-pooper, and, ladies, I really appreciate your thoughtful/erotic responses, but this site is kind of a poor sample to ask your question. Go to yahoo answers, or any type of large forum where the general public goes, and ask the question. 60% of answers will be from women who find man-sex "icky" or talk about how bi guys are "ticking timebombs" or "not masculine enough." 30% will be from homophobic guys (many of whom are secretly closeted) making ignorant, bigoted statements. Only a couple will be from chicks who actually like bi guys. I think this breakdown is relatively representative of the population at large.

That's why I like coming here, no one has any bi hate (except for Tasha... :cowboy: ), but let's not pretend that the people on here are anything approaching average in terms of bi understanding and liking.

[BiNStLouis45]

That is ok. I really wanted the opinion of ladies that are into bi guys. I do believe they are in the minority. I find it very difficult to admit to a lady I am bi, unless I know she is interested...and frankly have never met one that was...

Tim

[TashaSW]

What turns me off about bi guys is those who uses bisexually to CHEAT on thier wifes/girlfriends.

[allbimyself]

What turns me off about bi guys is those who uses bisexually to CHEAT on thier wifes/girlfriends.
Yeah! Str8 guys NEVER cheat.

[TashaSW]

Yeah! Str8 guys NEVER cheat.

OOOOOOH yes they do lol Since the question was "....about bi guys" I just answered to the question.

Hi Allbi long time no seeee.

[biwords]

I guess I have been one very lucky woman. I have only had the pleasure of sexual involvement with men who are bi sexual. I find, that on the whole, they are compassionate, loving, giving, intellectual, creative and so incredibly erotic. Seeing my husband with a man is so sensual. Yes, there are times when the sex is so hot, I can hardly stand it.

Belle, I think I want to have your baby! :bigrin:

[kitten]

The thought of bi men together makes me incredibly hot because of the pure passion and heat. Of course thats what makes me hot about bi-women together and any other combination of genders. Pleasure, release of inhibitions and the passion that I have found with my "passion pals" is astounding!

[Rhuth]

Rhuth,

I am suprised you have never had someone take you up on the offer...

TimHee hee... if I said the same things in the chat room here, I would get a very different response. I never play that cruel game until I get harassed by a guy who thinks it is cool and attractive to use homophobic slurs to pick up on girls. I talk loud and act as if all girls prefer a man with bi tendencies, so a homophobic man is deficient... which he is! I guess I am trying to change what is considered popular? Heterosexual guys are great. Just not when they say that anything other than heterosexual is unacceptable for the general public.

I am a little bit surprised that a bi guy hasn't approached me after I do that little routine on the homophobic guy. Maybe because I was so loud and making sure everyone around me was hearing me.

[wingnut]

Having never actually experienced a bi man, my reasoning for being attracted to the idea of a bi man is based in my taste in porn. I wish I could honestly state the cerebral and emotional reasons that Flexuality stated, but my reasons for liking it seem to be exactly the same reasons a men stereotypically enjoy watching two women. It’s just plain hot to watch!

I do have a cruel game that I play on occasion. I hesitate mentioning it, because it is really rather bitchy of me to do. It happens with the overly heterosexual male mentioned in another thread. Since I go out with women, we often times find ourselves being picked up on by these guys that will not take no for an answer. So I act interested in his overly masculine ways. I give a fake giggle at a derogatory joke about “fags”, and then initiate a conversation about what turns us on. At this point he thinks his evening is made.

I do not make any effort to lower my voice to avoid being overheard as I describe in detail what I would love to see two men do in the bedroom, then ask him if he would give it a try. Sometimes this makes him walk away, but sometimes they think they can say no and still have success with me. That is when I loudly explain that his lack of ability in the area makes him unattractive to me. Only once did this still not deter, and the bartender gave me an appreciative nod, and escorted him out.

The bartender was a hunk too! Bay area guys; go have a drink at Santana Row!

*handing the toolbox and the fabric swatches to bigregory and spartca*

I wouldn't approach you because I'd be afraid you'd ask the same thing- and loudly. People around you don't know you're trying to put a homophobe in his place, all they see is what appears to be a loud, crazy chick who likes asking guys if they're into guys in an elevated voice. :2cents: :bigrin:

[BiNStLouis45]

Thanks for all the replies....just wishing I could find that perfect bi couple in St. Louis...

tim

[BiNStLouis45]

Does anyone enjoy one partner suprising the other with someone of the same sex...blindfolds, light bondage, sensual touch and another man for her man....or woman for her....maybe pegging, maybe one man dominating the other while his partner watches or helps.....I love the thought...

Tim

[Provmale]

I had my first bi experience with a male about a year and half ago. There was always some interest on my part in the male orgasm, but it was my girlfriends over the years that drove me to open up and try. It was a huge turn-on for them, and a big turn on for me to thrill them. I have given oral to a couple of men now while in the company of women and it is quite satisfying to please the right guy and feel them lose control--and amazing to hear the response close by of a girlfriend who had wanted to see this for who knows how long. Ideally, these situations can happen if women express their desires to men. Yet, relationships are complex and men and women often hide what they want. Sex is just one of the opportunities that get missed.

--David

[truelove201]

What turns me off about bi guys is those who uses bisexually to CHEAT on thier wifes/girlfriends.

:female: that's a frightening idea i hadn't thought of...makes sense to...I'll have to add that to the list of things to discuss re: this issue with my hubby

[DiamondDog]

Does anyone enjoy one partner suprising the other with someone of the same sex...blindfolds, light bondage, sensual touch and another man for her man....or woman for her....maybe pegging, maybe one man dominating the other while his partner watches or helps.....I love the thought...

Tim

I have done bondage, restraint, discipline, SM (paddling, spanking, flogging, and whipping), sensory deprivation, Daddy/"boy" and Daddy bear/cub roleplay (this is NOT incestal age play or chickenhawk shit it's more a role of trust than a role of strict control like the complete opposite of a Master/Sir. A boy is submissive, a Master/Sir tells you how it's gonna be, and a Daddy helps you figure it out for yourself.), wax/sensation play, edging/cum control (both manual and verbal), CBT (cock and ball torture mainly ball stretching/doing stuff with cock rings), tit play (clamps/clothespins/fingernails/teeth/tongues), W/S, and sex that involves face shaving/beard trimming!

I've done all of this with gay and bi men, mostly gay male couples who I'm friends with, and I really love it! It's a lot more intense than sex with a woman and more powerful.

I don't always do any/all of this when I have sex and vanilla sex can be nice too even when it's "lite" restraint like being pinned down by some guy while you are making out with him.

I've had sex with men where while I was sober I had endorphin rushes and all sorts of powerful feelings/sensations, and neurochemicals released in my brain, for a natural altered state of consciousness.

I can't say I've ever had any of that when having sex with women, as most women don't know what they're doing when it comes to pleasing men, especially when it comes to manual (masturbating a guy), oral, and anal sex (fingering, rimming, toys, etc.).

[vices2habits]

I have enjoyed reading all of the responses posted here... and am "on the same page" with many (probably most).

Some thoughts in response:

BiNStLouis45 (Tim): a feminist outlook that assists in maintaining egalitarian relationships...

My comment: Indeed... One's horizons do expand, so to speak, once on the receiving end of actual penile penetration... one gains an appreciation for one's female counterpart

AndYouMake3: For some reason seeing him give a bj to another man just about makes my toes curl! ...

My comment: And that is part of the thrill for us in performing the taboo...

gentlepen9: What attracts me to bi-men is the possibility to having a "fluid" relationship; a relationship that isn't governed or bound by the "supposed" ideals of how a man and a woman are to behave in a relationship...

My comment: The proverbial "friendship without walls" ...

Flexuality: Bisexuality is not a competition...

My comment: Spot on... 'nuf said

smonique: In my "limited" experience. Bi men seem to be more open and actually more sensual. There is no holding back with the several pleasure zones of their bodies...specifically their ass or their mouths. Yummy!!!...

My comment: I like to think that this is true... openness to accepting what simply feels good without putting -- or allowing to be put -- some externally-imposed, fundamentally irrational limit which ruins the simple beauty of the experience

BiNStLouis45 (Tim): At times I can be sensual with another man, other times its more raw sexual....

My comment: Which is when the more masculine side is driving... with a guy, its OK to just fuck because you wanna fuck... minimal conversation, minimal foreplay... just lemme get it hard and then slide it in there, dude!

bigregory: What really turns on the ladies about bi guys has nothing to do with sex. Its the fact that they get a gay designer and a hetro handyman rolled into one...

My comment: GG... Giant Guffaw. A gem of insight and rare wit

CountryLover: I've found that men who have accepted their differing from the "norm" have a different perspective on life, a deeper understanding, or so it seems to me. That's VERY appealing to me! ...

My comment: Maybe -- I'm not claiming to know this for certain -- but maybe we are searchers by intrinsic nature, and bisexuality is but one of many territories to wander into and see what it looks like, feels like, tastes like... and fuck that yellow tape, anyway!

littlerayofsunshine: It's the build up, anxiety, passion, excitement, the giving in, getting lost in pleasure, finding one's self, and letting go. The heat, and desires, moaning, arching, the tender manipulations that men can perform with each other that turn raw and aggressive as passions increase. This and more, is what turns me on about bi-men. This and more, is what I get out of wearing my strapon....

My comment: The strap-on in the greatest toy for couples who want to fantasize role-reversal, but just can't allow themselves to cross the real line with a real guy... or just can't find the right partner, don't know how, etc. For me, it added an amazing dimension to an otherwise plain-vanilla relationship, unlocking something in that lady that only such complete domination of a man could unlock...

Rhuth: It’s just plain hot to watch! ...

My comment: I agree... but I wonder whether, when women watch gay porn and rarely see the cum-in-mouth shots as they would in hetero porn, do they wonder WTF? I do.

Rhuth: ...I do not make any effort to lower my voice to avoid being overheard as I describe in detail what I would love to see two men do in the bedroom, then ask him if he would give it a try. Sometimes this makes him walk away, but sometimes they think they can say no and still have success with me.

...I am a little bit surprised that a bi guy hasn't approached me after I do that little routine on the homophobic guy.

My comment: If I'd heard that, you'd have my number in your hand... or you'd be picking a guy from the crowd while I waited ;-)

Provmale: ...I have given oral to a couple of men now while in the company of women and it is quite satisfying to please the right guy and feel them lose control--and amazing to hear the response close by of a girlfriend who had wanted to see this for who knows how long. Ideally, these situations can happen if women express their desires to men.

My comment: Right. But it is only the rare one who does voice this desire... but thankfully this is changing with the younger folks. And the desire itself may only be a fleeting one... one indulged in during those rare unhurried moments where real life and its demands are suspended for only a very brief time, and then the desire -- for a hundred reasons -- never gets acted on. Which is why every swing club really ought to have a dedicated bi-guy night (as does Black Key Club in Providence, RI and also Swingers Palace in Pittsburgh, PA)... for there one can act on that sperm-of-the-moment desire, and see whether it has the potential of becoming what you'd always dreamed about while masturbating.


[object Object]

[BiNStLouis45]

A great review...Thanks!