Need advice

[BlueMoon203]

I have been on an off this site for the past 6 or 7 months. I have been with my girlfriend for just over 4 1/2 years. Recently, I have had thoughts of being bisexual. I definatley notice myself being attracted to men, with one in particular (who unfortunately is straight). I have never acted on these feelings because of my relationship. I thought about coming out to my brother awhile ago because I know he will be the most supportive of it. I know that no one can give me a clear answer of whether I am or not, I was just hoping to meet some people in this community.

[arana]

Welcome to the site BlueMoon! I hope you've been enjoying it here and making new friends.

You're the only one that knows how strong your urges and feelings are towards other men. It could just be a fantasy thing or it could be more. Some don't truly know until they've tried being with the same sex if it's really what they want or if it was just the their personal "idea" of how being with another would be. I wouldn't "come out" without really knowing though. Have you talked to your girlfriend about these feelings you've had yet? Maybe she has similar curiosities that you both could share and discover?

Best of luck to you in your journey!

[ncbeachgoers]

Wow, tough one buddy. My first wife knew I was bi prior to marriage. After the "I do's", the Bi thing was a no go for her.
My fiance is cool with the Bi Thing although it is sooooooooo hard to find someone.
Have you watched BrokeBack Mtn with her and closely observered her reactions? If she freaks, then that MIGHT be a hint of her true feelings. Both the guys are really hot, so its an easy watch for the females. Most straight guys make puking noises during the movie.... Don't blow a good relationship over fantasies. If you do try the bi thing on your own, keep it SAFE and secret. Maybe hint around that you had a "casual, and safe " Bi experience prior to your first dating, see how she may react also...

Good Luck :male:

[twodelta]

Try taking this test. It may help to make things a little clearer in Your mind. Good luck.
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=7742036330261174146

[onewhocares]

Well first of all Blue Moon, I LOVE the name. It is the name of my most favorite beer in these parts, Boston. Since you are new, I must tell you that I am the spouse of a bi male; we have been married twenty years. From what I have learned is that NO, not all women are as open as I toward the spouse who is bi. I have always thought that it was just another one of the many wonderful sides of the man that I LOVE. I have loved all the parts of him. Never be embaressed or ashamed of the feelings that you are feeling.

I do agree with ncbeach that Brokeback Mountain does not given enough attention to the wifes of the men. Perhaps I am naivee that I would think they should be accepting. If you have found a woman whom you love, then go with it. Be honest, be open, be giving, be understanding. I hope you shall be rewarded with LOVE.

Belle

[AngelOfTheMystic]

Welcome and I hope that you like it here. There are a lot of people here that have the same problem as you do. I'm sure that you will be able to get the advice you are looking for. I wish you the best of luck and wish you all the best!

[LoveLion]

Glad to meet ya bluemoon

[findingpeace]

Have you watched BrokeBack Mtn with her and closely observered her reactions? If she freaks, then that MIGHT be a hint of her true feelings. Both the guys are really hot, so its an easy watch for the females. Most straight guys make puking noises during the movie.... Don't blow a good relationship over fantasies. If you do try the bi thing on your own, keep it SAFE and secret. Maybe hint around that you had a "casual, and safe " Bi experience prior to your first dating, see how she may react also...

Good Luck :male:

lol - I have to say that Brokeback Mtn was my wife's first introduction to gay sex and she was turned on by it - made talking about it even easier for me - and then jumping in and doing it even hotter for both of us :)

As far as the fantasies go - talk to your g/f about them. Don't keep them secret because they probably won't go away - nor should they (and even if they do, you know how to be open about some of the most intimate parts of yourself). Then if everything is comfortable and you want to explore, be open about your desires.

Good luck - and remember that life should be fairly messy or it really isn't living.

[DiamondDog]

I'd tell but that's me. I believe in honesty and if a person won't accept me for something that's just an aspect of myself I figure it's their loss.

Also, I think that it's something you should tell a person you're in a relationship with, not as if it's a deep dark secret or anything but like I wrote before, honesty is the best policy for me.

[thick]

i myself have struggling with the thought of "am i gay" i find myself daydreaming about being with other men. I am most sure of the fact that i am bi not gay maybe this helps with "crossing over" ill let you know...good luck and be true to Yourself!