Coming out resources

[dbowerstroy]

I am giving consideration to coming out to my wife - telling her of my curiousity of bi-sexuality - and specifically of my craving for male intimacy.

I am looking for resources - books, web articles, etc. that will help me to explain my position, that this is "normal" and "common" and how difficult it is for me to experience this, that it is not a choice for me but rather it is part of what I am from my experiences, etc.

My hope is understanding, acceptance, support and embrace rather than shock, rejection, and her feeling threatened by it.

Suggestions appreciated.

[Lorcan]

The bi resource center online has a lot of good articles about it.
There is:
Bisexuality: Some Questions Answered
http://www.biresource.org/pamphlets/qa.pdf
Myths About Bisexuality
http://www.biresource.org/pamphlets/myths.pdf

The most non-theatening thing you can tell her is that you have not cheated on her, and you won't cheat on her. If you can't make that promise, I don't know how she'll take it. Otherwise it would sound like " my vow to you is not going to stand in the way of my desires."

Once it sinks in, and she's ok with it (give her time), then you can proceed with "what cheating means to us" and ponder a more open marriage.

[but that's my name!!]

You could bring up sexuality in conversation, the 'a friend of a friend' kinda thing to test the waters and see how she feels about these things.

[NorthBiEast]

I think that in any healthy relationship, honesty is not just a goal, but a necessity. Even if she is uncomfortable with your desires, I think she will appreciate the fact that you trust her to talk openly about it.

I've been lucky enough to have a husband who has supported me from the very beginning. I started with, a "you know, this may seem wierd, but this is where I'm at right now. I don't know what it means, and I don't know where to go from here, but I want you to be part of my journey."

Good Luck! :flag1: