Coming out??

[KChsnyFan4Life]

So....I've havent been here in a long while....I have recently had the courage to tell my parents....they did not take to well of it....and they told me I couldnt do anything when I still live at home...which I do....but they confused me with some things they told me about myself but I still dont believe it....I still feel for women.....I then discussed it in detail with my mom and I told her I can no longer hide and live a lie....and I can no longer wonder...She told me I sounded like it was like drug experimenting....but I dont see it that way....she also used the "its just a phase" the other day....I feel better that I came out but yet I feel horrible because I cannot be my true self and do what I need to do to make myself happy.....any advice?

[DiamondDog]

You did the right thing by telling your mom.

It's not her fault that she didn't get it, lots of parents can kind of go into the closet when one of their kids comes out of it.

They do this in a wide vareity of ways like denial, or telling themselves that it's 'just a phase', or 'experimentation'.

I'm not putting you down when I write this I'm just telling you how I've seen some parents and people react.

Eventually she'll understand that this is just a small aspect of you and that you're still the daughter that she loves.

[TorontoGuy2007]

sometimes it takes time for coming out to a parent to sink in. her reaction was proabably reflex and instict (as opposed to a planned written statement).

you can still be yourself, just that there may be limitations as to how much of yourself you can express at home.

the message that may need to be clarified is that bi doesn't necessarily mean gay.. this is the reaction i seem to get from many. just reassure your parents that nothing else has changed.. you're values and priorities in life are the same, whether they are school or work, etc,

hopefully this won't dominate the topic of conversation with them from now on.. try to do and say things that will remind them that you are still the same person, and that sexual orientation is only a small part of you..

[NorthBiEast]

If she's having trouble adjusting to the concept, let her know that there are support groups for the parents of people with alternate sexualities. PFLAG is the only one I can think of off the top of my head, but there are others too. It may help her to correct some misconceptions, and also to express her worries and fears to other mothers who have been there.
:bipride:

[KChsnyFan4Life]

she keeps denying it and saying they had me tested for my chromosomes a long time ago.....but when it comes down to it she thinks im lesbian...because if the chromosome thingy....but I dont think of it that way...being bi has nothing to do with chromosomes

[but that's my name!!]

she keeps denying it and saying they had me tested for my chromosomes a long time ago.....but when it comes down to it she thinks im lesbian...because if the chromosome thingy....but I dont think of it that way...being bi has nothing to do with chromosomes

"chromosome thingy"? XY female?? Sorry I don't mean to chase you around the forum :)

[Long Duck Dong]

Actually they are working on that chromosomes thing....the chromosomes don't decide sexuality but they define appearance and attributes of the body

and its thought that a tweak of the chromosomes may help us understand why some males are more feminine and some males are more masculine, than the average person

[but that's my name!!]

Actually they are working on that chromosomes thing....the chromosomes don't decide sexuality but they define appearance and attributes of the body

and its thought that a tweak of the chromosomes may help us understand why some males are more feminine and some males are more masculine, than the average person

Okay this is really interesting now; where do I find out about this?

[KChsnyFan4Life]

Okay this is really interesting now; where do I find out about this?

I dont know what type of test they are talking about but thats what my mom said....

and its okay you are my new stalker....JK.

my parents and I had a huge fight last night about it!! ughhhh

[TorontoGuy2007]

i think it would help if your parents got online and did some research. as others have said, there are support groups and tools that they can read.. they need to know that bisexuality is more common than they may think..

and yes, i have also read that chromasome stuff has to do with gender stuff. heck, tell your parents that the goodnews is that you do not desire to change sex or gender.... heck, tell them to read some of my posts from about 2 weeks ago, then they will realize you are much more normal that me and others out here in transgenderland!

[but that's my name!!]

my parents and I had a huge fight last night about it!! ughhhh
I don't know your family but you should probably be careful how far you push things, but don't give in, don't live a lie cos you'd regret it. Good luck.

[ambi53mm]

So....I've havent been here in a long while....I have recently had the courage to tell my parents....they did not take to well of it....and they told me I couldnt do anything when I still live at home...which I do....but they confused me with some things they told me about myself but I still dont believe it....I still feel for women.....I then discussed it in detail with my mom and I told her I can no longer hide and live a lie....and I can no longer wonder...She told me I sounded like it was like drug experimenting....but I dont see it that way....she also used the "its just a phase" the other day....I feel better that I came out but yet I feel horrible because I cannot be my true self and do what I need to do to make myself happy.....any advice?

KC...I know often that sometimes this is easier said than done, but as soon as it's humanly possible you need to strongly consider declaring your independence and moving out. Parents often mean well but sometimes have the bad habit of perpetually seeing their children as always being 15. This is not in the chronological sense but in terms of making the assumption that you're incapable of knowing your own mind. Your parents know you on some levels probably better than anyone else on Earth...however as much as they would like to, they can not know your heart and soul’s desires.
One ideal to help cope in the meantime, is to set a goal towards that day. Put aside whatever you can afford on a weekly basis. Call it a” freedom fund for the future” It’s taking an action in a positive direction as opposed to being the victim of circumstances that you cannot control. On a lighter note, if all else fails…consider getting a puppy LOL if it’s a Great Dane or St. Bernard your parents may even consider contributing to the ‘Freedom Fund”….It worked on me as a Dad… Good Luck :)

Ambi :)

[but that's my name!!]

KC...I know often that sometimes this is easier said than done, but as soon as it's humanly possible you need to strongly consider declaring your independence and moving out. Parents often mean well but sometimes have the bad habit of perpetually seeing their children as always being 15. This is not in the chronological sense but in terms of making the assumption that you're incapable of knowing your own mind. Your parents know you on some levels probably better than anyone else on Earth...however as much as they would like to, they can not know your heart and soul’s desires.
One ideal to help cope in the meantime, is to set a goal towards that day. Put aside whatever you can afford on a weekly basis. Call it a” freedom fund for the future” It’s taking an action in a positive direction as opposed to being the victim of circumstances that you cannot control. On a lighter note, if all else fails…consider getting a puppy LOL if it’s a Great Dane or St. Bernard your parents may even consider contributing to the ‘Freedom Fund”….It worked on me as a Dad… Good Luck :)

Ambi :)
ABSOLUTELY.