Women and Anal play

[zyzygy]

Hi All,

In my somewhat limited experience, I have been unable to find many women who would countenance the idea of anal play (even when lovingly and gently approached) and whilst there were a couple who permitted it, they obviously didn't enjoy it - which made it unsatisfactory for both of us.

Are there women who enjoy this activity, or is it one of those male porno fantasies? What particular acts or approaches do you like (or dislike)? What is the best way to be approached about this?

Thanks

Zyz

[lvbicpl69]

:male: cant say for all but My wife not only likes but WANTS it often

[BiCpl69]

I love it a lot. I have very intense orgasms anally. I like it best when my husband prepares me with his tongue, which makes me want it more.

[sexyminx]

i enjoy anal play and have found the best position for a woman to be is on top lowering herself at her own pace while u are also playing with her clit and maybe twisting her nipples this sends me crazy
also a little lube wouldnt hurt if they find it a little pain fully but once its in they will be going crazy for u :female: ;)

[cthawk]

Hi, when you ask about enjoying anal play, do you mean giving, receiving or both?

[zyzygy]

I deliberately left the question open. Yes. Both giving and receiving.

[DareMe]

About Pornography and Anal play. This is one spot where the rabbit fuck is clearly out, completly opposite to what is portrayed in porn flicks!

I think that when it comes to anal play, you have to learn to relax, yourself and your partner, and go slowly.

Just my 2c.

On the funny side, I saw a report that reffered to the subject of finger anal play as ringing the door bell!!!

Like the song went, you can ring my bell....ring my bell

he he...

DM :tong:

[cplfun13]

I love anal action with my husband. I never did it with just guys I dated, It is the next step up for me. I have to trust and feel more then just a sexual connection to someone in order for them to take my back door. How long of a dating period are you in before you try anal play? Maybe thats the reason.

[Woody]

My wife and I use an anal probe to ease into arse play.She then does me with a dildo and/or me her with my own equipment.Still yet to try a strap on.I know we both enjoy it,we keep asking each other for more.Once you get past the initial pain,over time it's a real turn on.

[lildi7]

I think that what turns women off, that have only tried it once, would be the first time pain.(the first time definately hurt for me) Then, they don't want to try it again. With practice and lubricant, pure pleasure follows.

[mike9753]

I think that what turns women off, that have only tried it once, would be the first time pain.(the first time definately hurt for me) Then, they don't want to try it again. With practice and lubricant, pure pleasure follows.

I'm a guy, but I think you are probably right. And I do think the same reasoning applies to men who have only tried it once. It takes a lot of patience and self restraint on the part of the top to slowly introduce anything into their partners anus. But it's well worth it.

Mike

[Sapphrodite]

As a former anal virgin who's changed her 'status' only a few years ago, I still recognize the pressure and fear that anal sex can bring into one's bedroom. I found that some sensation around my ass was nice but then froze up whenever there was any attempt to penetrate: a cross between reflexes and pain. I was a little curious, but without much of an option between anal sex or nothing, I chose nothing for a long time.

It seems to have a lot to do with learning control and relaxation of anal muscles (be you female or male) that can allow for pleasurable experiences, so the trick is not the anal sex itself, but how to get over the mental hurdles and become more open to anal play. Combining play in the general area with positive overall experiences creates a general curiousity without being overly adamant about anal sex.

Try expanding your oral skills in different positions, even if it's only a quick prelude to penetretive sex: in a traditional missionary or just before doggie, lick or tickle the anus in between oral-genital sex. With men, lick or stroke the perenium during oral; with women, stroke or apply gentle even pressure to the same area during oral or even sex itself. Making the connection between positive sexual experiences and anal stimulation may kick-start their own latent intrests in all things anal.

Once you get past initial stages and into the actual play itself:

- Helpful hint: Don't attempt any anal penetration immediately following orgasms. Often it's easier to be receptive to anal play before those PCG muscles tighten up due to orgasms.

- Try having some anal play in the shower - the warm water is very soothing and s/he will feel less self-concious about being clean 'down there'.

- Consider a desensitizer like Anal Eeze for initial toy play; be sure you dont have direct contact immediately after, otherwise you can numb your own tongue or genitals.

- Start with a small silicone or flexible toy that isnt much bigger than a finger - something s/he can experiment with alone when you're not around.

- Graduate to a small vibrating toy, like a small bullet or a very narrow vibrator, but put it in a condom for easy retrieval/cleanliness. Even without penetration, the vibrations will add sensation while helping desensitize the muscles to touch.

- Build up to larger toys and experiment at different points during sex - your partner may feel more at ease at the beginning or may want that kind of action later on... either way it's up to you both to figure it out!

- Once you do decide on full-on anal sex, do all the fun preliminary stuff first, so the muscles are relaxed and receptive. The first few times at least, you're going to want to use a condom to create a streamline shaft and so that if it's not working out, you can safely go back to regular sex w/o a bathroom trip. Oh and don't forget the lube!

- There are lots of fantastic positions out there for anal sex, but you may want to start off in the standard doggie for sake of ease of both people involved - no one expects the Kama Sutra the first time out of the gate... LMAO!! Let your partner press back into you at their own pace; resist the urge to thrust and once you get going, dont pull out too far. If you can keep the head deep enough in to stay past the two sets of muscles, it will be less painful for your partner's first experiences, and you're more likely to get a future invite ;)

- Once you have the hang of it - have FUN!!! I wholeheartedly agree that Receiver on top has got to be one of the best positions for anal sex - not only is it more intimate but the receiver controls the depth and speed, (and all their yummy bits are front and centre for easy access)!

Realistically it'll never be like in the porno's, but soon your lover will be experiencing fabulous G-Spot/P-Spot orgasms and begging for more!
Good Luck all!
Sapphy