bisexuality, hate / slur campaigns, the net and media

[Long Duck Dong]

dealing with the hate /slur campaigns

This is a area, that has become all too common, the anonymous people that enjoy the net and the media, seeing the actions of the ones that use the net as a tool for hurt and suffering.... and sadly a lot of the time, its us that can be a big part of it

IF I look at bisexual.com... it never fails to impress me.... no mods.... no speech police....no abuse.....just what is the secret to bisexual.com ???
Its a community site, with a mixture of people from different cultures, races, countries, and sexualities, but its not a breeding ground for a lot of the issues that other sites display.....why is bisexual.com so different.... well i will tell you at the end of this post

lol... I have been the * victim..* of a hate / slur campaign ( not connected to bisexual.com in ANY way )..
well i say victim, but i spent most of my time, reading the dribble, and laughing my head off....
not only was it costing these people to post their crap on the net..... but the people that they wanted to read it, came, looked, laughed and left......all they did attract, was the mal contented, unadjusted, socially inept people that needed a false name to post a heap of BS about a person that was ignoring their crap.... my only crime was being bisexual

and thats just how dangerous the net and the media has become......

for many of us, there is no * truth * anymore.... just site after site, story after story, of twisted words.... a persons opinion put up as the *truth*... and it only takes a few minutes to post a thread, pass a judgment, make a comment...and let the fun begin.........but bisexual.com is different

day after day, we come to the site.... sit and view profiles,, chat, and laugh, joke and smile.... talking about how some of us, are hiding a * secret *from the world.... never really thinking about how much of a knife edge we walk.....

each day, we have new people join.... and they are overwhelmed to that hugs, and kisses, from total strangers....people that hug and love the person behind the name.... without caring if that the new person * fits * the criteria.......mainly cos we are a family and thats the only criteria needed

it is sad that many of the people in the site, are under a *cloud *.... a partner / family etc, that may not know about their bisexual secret....and they are search for a * home * until they come here........and then they feel safe.... but ever present in the back of their mind...is the thought ~ what if somebody *outs * me ??? ~

lol the day i think the law will protect me, is the same day, i will go barebear in a orgy of aids suffers........

we have no real protection against the nastiness of gossip, be it true or false.....no law in the land can protect you against humiliation, a lost confidence, a ruined marriage, a slandered reputation........and yet you are about as anonymous as a green and pink painted elephant in the middle of the street at rush hour .... the real danger however, is not you posting in a site...or posting a pic..... sadly in most cases.... its the people around you.... the ones that actually know you in real life, that are the ones to watch

most websites / news stories attacking a person.... are started by a person with a personal issue against the person in real life.... and 7 times out of 10... they have met the person in real life.....

I live in a small christian town ( 50,000 ) and i am so outspoken.... as a wiccan witch, a bisexual... a friend of LGBT/hetero people, a well respected and loved spiritual teacher.......I am no stranger to hate campaigns.... in fact i encourage them to go after me.... cos as long as people attack me, they leave my fellow LGBT alone

sadly... with hate /slur campaigns on the net and in the media spotlight.... its the innocent that get *hung*....their rights to privacy and the chance to heal, are gone.....their names and faces plastered over the net.... as people rush to attack the *villain *...and its a sad fact, that in peoples rush to put down the LGBT community and attack us, using the bible and religion and other means, they are possibly attacking their own partner, family member, workmate, fellow christian etc etc

that, my friends, is the secret to bisexual.com

many of us are out, and have nothing to fear, and safe in our linked arms, are those that are not *out* but protected while they draw the strength, courage and knowledge from us, until they, too, come * out *, then they will link arms and stand strong, as another steps forward, ready to make the step
and often you are our friends, our work mates, our fellow christians, our partners, our family....

thank you drew, for our home away from home......and thank you to all the members that help make bisexual.com a place of peace and serenity

[AngelOfTheMystic]

You are very welcome!! I know that me for one am very proud to be a part of this site. I love it and the people here as well!

[Herbwoman39]

I've said it before and I'll never tire of saying it, this is my family. This is where I can come be myself and no matter what is happening, there's always someone here to reassure me that everything is going to be alright.

Thank you Drew and thank you brothers and sisters of my heart :)

[izzfan]

Great article LDD, you never cease to amaze me - as I've said in previous posts, you should really contact Drew and ask him to put some of your posts in the 'articles' thread. Yeah this site rocks! :cool: and I definately think freedom is part of it, I mean there is only minimal intervention in cases where it is probably needed [abuse/harassment etc...], this gives people freedom to frankly discuss things rather than not talking about things for fear of the 'speech police'. I mean you are right about the community atmosphere and that is very true, I don;t know how you managed it Drew but congratulations to you! Bisexual.com is just so much better than most forums, perhaps it is due to a sense of bisexual solidarity...who knows?

As for hate campaigns, espcially those by religious people.... I mean any 'Christian' who runs a hate campaign against their fellow person is going against numerous rules in their bible [Isn't there a commandment about bearing false witness?]. By the way, I am pretty much an atheist (very slightly agnostic) and I have a rather negative view of ORGANISED [I have to emphasise that lol.. I have no problems with personal belief] religion.

I think this site is great for people who are still in the closet... I mean, before I went to university I was pretty much in Narnia lol. I used to 'lurk' in numerous web forums [including this one] as I couldn't sign up at the time without attracting suspicion. Now that I am both 18 and at university [away from my old life.... I came out to most of my family over the summer, but I haven't told my dad or any of my old mates except my best mate] I am free to come out about myself and join this forum- being in the closet caused me all sorts of self-confidence/ self-perception problems. I mean bisexual forums like this one and Transgender forums were a lifeline back when I was in the closet as they let me know that I wasn't alone or 'abnormal'. I haven't actually joined any transgender ones purely because of the atmosphere that many of them seem to have which is for too 'respectable' for me. I mean they are nowhere near as diverse as this forum... I mean they are just filled with middle aged, middle class, usually married men and they seem to spend most of the time going on about being 'discreet' and 'respectable'... I mean if the gay/bi rights movement had done that, we'd still be where we all were in the 1950s! I don't mean to run down the TG community (hell, I was TG since I was 13!) but this is just something I have noticed about a couple of their webforums [I mean there probably are TG webforums that are as great as bisexual.com but I just haven't found them yet]

I guess I like bisexual.com for the sheer diversity of age, nationality etc... that it has and the fact that you can discuss sexual matters frankly and honestly. I mean on here I think we are all united by bisexuality and the diversity of the site is great because it provides an atmosphere for debate and the sharing of different opinions and experiences.

Izzfan :flag3:

[someotherguy]

If a person lives daily with fears about being found out and mistreated, then that is kind of a sore spot, and so anything that touches it will seem more painful. I haven't seen any hate campaigns lately, except for very marginal ones, such as will always exist against whatever group you could care to use as an example. The mainstream media are very much gay-friendly these days. I would have to go out of my way to find something to feel offended by. I understand there are people whose view of homosexuality is hateful, and many more whose view is merely condescending, but I find most people to be supportive and encouraging, so I have no trouble ignoring the few haters.

[Long Duck Dong]

well someotherguy.....most the the slur/ campaigns are mild on tv cos they have to be careful what they say.. the net is a totally different matter...

I have had my 76 year old flatmate attacked, windows smashed, my car broken into.... numerous lies and BS told about me, threats etc.....

but that pales in comparision to the people that visit bisexual.com and share time with us, knowing that their secret could cost them their job, marriage, friends, etc

i have seen lives destroyed and families torn apart by LGBT rumours and speculation...and i see it cos i live in the front line....I work on the front line.....the part around me in r/l are the people that walk that line.....

as i have posted in the past, I go with my friends to the local pub.... what i generally don't say, is that i go as a friend / bodyguard.....and its not isolated to different groups...like religion.....

the idea behind gay bars etc is friendship, support, cruising and strength in numbers.....

but nothing has the destructive power of a gossiping tongue