How do you know if someone is..

[tanyaa88]

Hey hows everyone doing?

Well i was wondering how do you know if someone is bi-gay-lesbian,or is there no way other than asking them....

as much as i have feelings for guys i really want to meet a nice girl in my area, but im well...shy you could say
anyways any feedback comment whatever would be greatly appreciated..
thank you =)

[izzfan]

Short of asking them, it is very difficult to discern someone's sexuality just from appearences - appearences can be decieving lol or as my old 6th Form history teacher once said "Don't assume....it makes an ass out of u and me". Seriously though, just ask them in a discreet way and you'll be certain to get the right answer. Or you could compliment their looks/personality etc... and if they react with a sly grin then you might have a chance lol.
As for outward signs of being Gay/Lesbian/Bi, anything short of a rainbow flag or Bi flag badge, clothing etc... then its really difficult to tell. Some people claim to have a 'gaydar', I personally have a 'straydar' and I can usually tell if a person is str8 but not necessarily if they are gay.
One way of knowing whether someone is str8, gay, les, bi is to go to your local gay bar -this is one of the few places where people generally don't mind you openly asking them about their sexuality. Just remeber though that not all women there may be lesbian/bisexual as many gay men have str8 female friends who may be accompanying them (I think the correct slang term is a 'fag hag').

Sorry, but the only reliable way is to ask them discreetly or drop hints about your sexuality and see if they take an interest in you in that way.

Good Luck

Izzfan :flag3:

[someotherguy]

Feel the bumps on their head. Look for one towards the back on the left side. Plunk it, and if it sounds hollow, that's how you know.

[TorontoGuy2007]

hi tanya.. nice to see another canadian on board here.. it's literally impossible to tell just by looking at someone. but sometimes in conversation you might be able to pick up signs from them.. if they seem to be starting at your um certainly body parts or if they seem to be flirting a bit with you..

but yah, gay bars or gay/bi websites like this one are the best ways to guarantee you will come across bisexuals.. check the personals on this site, there seems to be tons of people on there who don't necessarily chat here on the forum..

[DiamondDog]

Some people have good 'gaydar' and some people don't.

It's not strictly a learned social skill, recognizing signs, or reading people. I think it's more intuitive/empathic than that. Call me crazy but a friend of mine swears that it's a form of telepathy and I believe him.

I must say I'm pretty flawless reading my own type and having them read me. I can even tell people who say that they're gay or het but who would technically be bisexual.

I can sometimes give off a "het" vibe at first since I don't always appear friendly or get talkative in some social situations but most people read me as bi/gay.

Also in queer settings I don't like being cruised/groped so I'll sometimes give off an unfriendly/guarded vibe, or a heterosexual vibe.

[AngelOfTheMystic]

I would have to agree with izzfan on this one. There is no sure fire way to tell unless they are like open about it or they they wear gay/lesbian parafanelia (sp). I would just very discreatly drop hints about your sexuality to people that you may be intrested in and see if you get any takers! Good luck!

[but that's my name!!]

there are pointers but nothing truely reliable.
openly and obviously flirting is in my opinion the best way.
most straight people are fairly blind in regards to flirting with the same sex.

being shy doesn't help, you just need to gain confidence, which is hard but better than not trying.