Well so much for THAT idea

[Herbwoman39]

As you all know I've been agonizing for months about coming out to my parents at the end of this week. I had thought that maybe if the timing was right or the subject came up, I might be able to do it on the cruise.

Uhm...not so much.

Late last night I called my Mom to make sure she knew what she needed to bring ID-wise and she told me that after 42 years of marriage my father is leaving her. Trust me when I say that this divorce is long overdue. It is a good thing and they'll both be happier once everything is said and done. This is not just my father's crap but my mother has definitely contributed her fair share to the shit pile as well. So he isn't the villain in this piece.

Because of this bit of news and all the crap they are dealing with I think it would be incredibly unfair and insensitive of me to even consider bring it up.

Just wanted to give my family here an update :)

[someotherguy]

So, you're in denial about the fact that it was your prolonged reluctance to declare your true sexual identity that caused the slow and painful demise of your parent's otherwise solid marriage?

How can we help you assume blame for this latest stumble?

[TorontoGuy2007]

Hi Herb,

having parents divorce can certainly be a shock. mine broke up when i was 6 and things have never been the same for me since. sadly, it drove me further away from both, and only now, at 33, am i starting to reach out to them.

this could be an opportunity for you to bond closer to your mother, and although you won't want to come out right away, it could make it easier to tell her your true feelings as a bisexual.

Jeff

[csrakate]

So, you're in denial about the fact that it was your prolonged reluctance to declare your true sexual identity that caused the slow and painful demise of your parent's otherwise solid marriage?

How can we help you assume blame for this latest stumble?

I truly hope you are being sarcastic in this post...but even if you are, this response is the last thing Herbwoman needs to hear...sarcastic or not!

Herbwoman...I am sorry to hear about your parents. It is never easy, no matter how old you are....it's still hard to deal with parents divorcing. And you're right to wait...why pile anything else on them at this time. Just enjoy knowing that YOU know who YOU are and be satisfied with that.

Hugs,
Kate

[but that's my name!!]

It could be amuseing if when it's all over your your mother gets together with a woman. :bigrin:

[skiflydive]

Dang it BTMN you JUST beat me to it

[Herbwoman39]

Herbwoman...I am sorry to hear about your parents. It is never easy, no matter how old you are....it's still hard to deal with parents divorcing. And you're right to wait...why pile anything else on them at this time. Just enjoy knowing that YOU know who YOU are and be satisfied with that.

Hugs,
Kate

Thank you SO much Kate. You have no idea how badly I needed your kindness.

I just feel so stupid for these little crying fits I've been having occasionally today. After all, it's not MY marriage ending and Lord knows their marriage has never been (in my memory) a truly happy one. You'd think I'd be happy that they're finally getting on with their lives. And really, I am. I just occasionally burst into tears for no apparent reason.

<HUGS>

But That's My Name: I could only hope...but Mom is straight :)

Jeff: Sometimes I think I might have been better off if they had split earlier in my life. Then I wouldn't have had to listen to the constant arguing, bickering and fighting.

skiflydive: LOL! A day late and a dollar short, eh hon?

And finally, someotherguy: That was mean and I cried.

[someotherguy]

It was gallows humor, and if misplaced here, my error, but in no way mean in spirit.

[Herbwoman39]

It was gallows humor, and if misplaced here, my error, but in no way mean in spirit.

Forgiven :)

[wanderingrichard]

reading this, and the circumstances, i think you've made a good decision..the divorce alone is gonna be trying enough..no telling what coming out to them would add to an already bad time

[Long Duck Dong]

grabs herbwoman and gives her and her mother and father a massive hug....

divorce is never a easy choice..... but having a awesome daughter like you from the marriage, is something that both your parents can be proud of, and i hope the divorce is peaceful and hassle free.

[twodelta]

Hey Herbwoman - Only wish I could give You this in person :grouphug: - Dave

[AngelOfTheMystic]

Herbwoman...I'm sorry to hear about your little set back there and your parents. I hope that it all works out, but just wait I promise the right time will come soon enough!

[deremarc]

Divorce is like dying in that there is never a good age for it and it is always hard to deal with.

Divorce is hard to deal with when it is your parents--no matter what age you are.

I'm sorry to hear about your parents...when going through something like this, your emotions can swing from one end of the other.

But, just from what I have read from your posts...your parents marriage was more than worthwhile..it brought a wonderful woman into the world.

I also applaud your maturity...I've read how much you want to find the time to be able to allow your parents to know who you are and what you want out of life. But, it is very mature and caring of you to set your feelings and plans aside considering what your parents are going through now.

And I do agree that after the dust settles, and your parents have dealt with this issue, it may become easier to talk to them about feelings, needs and desires.

Best of luck to you and hugs.

Dere

[Herbwoman39]

Oh thank you all for the love and support. I'd say you have no idea how much it means to me, but really, I think you all know :o)

I've got to finish packing. I'll post a few pics of Mexico in my profile when I get back :bigrin:

Love;
Herbie

[littlerayofsunshine]

Herbwoman,

You're a beautiful soul. Have a great trip and take care. (((((Hugs)))))

[LoveLion]

Sorry to hear about your parents, but if it is how you say it is then maybe its for the best.

I think your decision not to tell them was a wise and unselfish one. Let them get through this whole mess, and then when the time is right and everyone has settled down tell them. Last thing your mother probably needs is more on her mind.

Good luck with everyting! ((hug))

PS. someotherguy is NEVER serious and should never be taken as such ;)