coming out to parents

[Daniel1395]

why is it so hard to come out to parents?

Everyday i promise myself that i am going to tell them but i never do. Its just so hard i mean how do start off a conversation that ends in coming out.

I tried to come out to my mum yesterday but didn't, it just never seems like the right time.

Talking about my personal life with my mum is not something i ever do so its going to be completly random when i do tell her and i know it is going to be a shock for her.

I just hope she understands what it means to be bisexual so i can avoid awkward questions.

coming out to my dad should be easier because i don't live with him so i can just send him a message or phone him or something.

[AngelOfTheMystic]

I think that it's so hard to come out to parents because when you are approaching a subject like your sexuality to them it can be kind of scary and uncomfturable. I know that it's hard but just look at it like this they are your parents and they will love you no matter what, and if not at least you are being true to yourself. Good luck!

[leredacteur]

At the risk of becoming a bore on this subject, I must once again raise a question that has been posed before but never rationally answered: "what is this fascination with 'coming out' to your parents ?"
Why do you feel a compulsion to discuss your sexuality with your mother and father ? Have they, over the years, regaled you with tales of their sexual relations ? Do they ask you to tell them about your sexual exploits ?
The rule of thumb here should be, "Your FUCKING business is none of your parents' fucking BUSINESS !"
I speak with the weight of more than 50 years of experience behind my words. I have been actively bisexual since age 12 and the only people with whom I share the knowledge of my bisexuality are my sex-and/or-love partners, my doctors and my lawyer (for estate purposes).
My co-workers, relatives, neighbors, non-sexual friends and the local tradesfolk are not aware of my bisexuality because IT IS NOT THEIR BUSINESS !
Nor, I submit, is it your parents' business. You will not enlighten, inform or enrich your parents' lives by telling them about your bisexuality; rather, you will probably inject copious amounts of concern, worry and fear into those lives.
If they should accidentally find out about your bisexuality, so be it; you can acknowledge it to them, IF THEY ASK. But don't INFLICT the information on them; They are, presumably, older folk with their own life- and health- concerns. They don't need to know about your love life.
Please don't continue torturing yourself, worrying about how you're going to do something that you do not have to do. Enjoy your enlightened and rich sexual life. Permit yourself to feel a bit smug because your openmindedness and openheartedness allow you to experience a range of sexual pleasure that most people do not and cannot.

[TorontoGuy2007]

coming out to my mother, for me, wasn't really out of any obligation or need to tell her specifically. for me, it was about opening up myself in general. i have been keeping so many secrets to myself, that it really started to bother me. i had to open up, i had to tell somebody. i have to develop closer relationships with my family and friends who are closest to me..

for those who have followed my story, you know what a major emotional affect it has been for me to accept even for myself, that i am bi.

once you have accepted yourself, then telling others shouldn't be as hard

[LoveLion]

Your FUCKING business is none of your parents' fucking BUSINESS !

Well, its not just Fucking business involved here. I fully expect to have meaningful romantic relationships with men in the future and if I meet the right guy, to spend my life with him. When I end up in a relationship with a guy, I dont want to have to hide it from my parents. I want to be able to bring him home for dinner, or if it gets more serious, spend family occasions with both him and my parents (ie Christmas dinner etc).

I wouldnt want to shock my parents by suddenly telling them that I am with a man. And I dont really feel like I could start up a relationship with a man until I told them I was Bi. Basically I want them to know so they know what to expect from my life. They birthed me and raised me so I owe it to them to let them know about my lifestyle. And I want them to be able to take time to accept who I am.

Sometimes I find people on this site forget Bisexuality is more them just fucking, and it can get a little frustrating.

Anyway, on to the topic on hand. The reason coming out to parents is so hard is because they are so close to you. How many years of your life have you spend seeking their approval? 15? 18? 25? 50? We all want to be close to our parents and above all else be loved and accepted by them. Probably more so then anyone else in the world. So naturally telling them something that could potentially take all that away is going to be a little nerve racking, even for a full independent adult.

It was super hard for me to do, and I had to literally force myself to get those words out. I felt like I had to reach down my throat and yank them out forcefully.

Whatever the result through, you will at least have peace of mind afterwards

[Herbwoman39]

Many of us have always sought the approval of our parents. We want them to understand us, support us and be proud of us no matter who we are.

Telling our parents that we are "different" puts us in the position of possibly losing that understanding, support and approval that we crave so badly. So it becomes a frightening prospect to tell our parents that we are something other than they think we are or something other than they want us to be.

[Daniel1395]

Hey everybody thanks for the replys, i still have not told them but i am planning on doing it soon (again) lol.