What does bi-curious mean?

[jenny2006]

I don't like the word 'bi-curious', I'm not sure why but to me it seems to give the idea you can choose to be bisexual, like it's possible to get interested in it and suddenly become bisexual, like getting interested in a new hobby for example, but the fact remains I don't really know what it means.

Wikipedia defines someone who's bicurious as 'having a sexual orientation, behavior, or self-identification, which is close to but not quite entirely heterosexual or homosexual.' and goes on to give several more detailed definitions but they weren't very helpful.

A lot of people seem to use it to describe someone that has feelings for both men and women but haven't had experience with both, but I don't like the way it's used in that way because it breaks bisexual down into being about behaviour rather than feelings. You're not 'straight-curious' until you've slept with someone of the same sex if you're straight, or 'gay-curious' if you're gay but haven't slept with anyone.

I haven't had any experience with either sex but I still very much count myself as bisexual because I know who I'm attracted to, whenever anyone asks me how I can know I'm bi when I've not had any experience I feel like asking them if they want me to draw them a diagram to help them out. To me bisexual means being attracted to both sexes, simple as that, and has nothing to do with behaviour, and the term 'bi-curious' very much comes across as 'confused' or 'basically straight or gay but interested in a few kinky experiences'.

But anyway, anyone want to enlighten me as to what it actually means? Can anyone give a definition everyone could agree on? Or explain at least what bicurious means to them or why you might choose to label yourself as such??

[someotherguy]

It's one of the very rare examples of a term that may mean slightly different things to different people. The rock-solid definition may not exist. To me it means someone thinks about gay sex but hasn't tried it yet, at least to the extent they want in order to satisfy their curiosity. Once they try gay sex and they still say they are bi-curious, it's because saying so worked so good the last time. Some people mean they are bisexual and curious but fail to specify about what. It could be they have been bisexually active for many years and are curious about something unrelated, like what it would feel like to jump about in the reduced gravity of the moon, only they are being vague and so we don't understand them fully, which is a common bisexual trait, come to think of it.

[TorontoGuy2007]

i think it's a phase of denial. people think they are bi, but won't want to officially acknowledge their feelings until they have some sort of definitative momemt or until they actually have a physical experience that proves their theory..

[Daniel1395]

Okay obviously i don't want to offend anybody and im sorry if i do but this is just my opinion.

For me if somebody says they are bi-curious to me it means anybody who only has a sexual attraction to somebody of the same sex but have not experienced it yet, but who are also sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex.

erm did that make sense

I consider my self bisexual and not bi-curious, even though i have not had sex with a man or a woman, because not only am i sexually atracted to men and women but i also have affectionate and romantic feelings for men and women.

[izzfan]

I mean, I can see how the term 'bi-curious' could be offensive as people don't excatly choose to be gay/straight/bi/transgendered etc.... However, I think it refers to when someone has slight bisexual feelings and doesn't quite understand them yet, but doesn't go into denial about them, they are curious about the bisexual side that is present within them through no choice of their own. Sometimes this will just remain as curiousity and they may be a 1 or a 5 on the kinsey scale, but others may choose to explore it further and realise that they are actually more like a 2-4 on the kinsey scale [I think I've got my figures for this correct - 0= totally str8, 3=50:50, 6= totally gay, correct me if I'm wrong] .
You could also attribute the concept of 'bi-curiosuty' to the prescence of biphobia/homophobia in society which forces people to repress any bisexuality that they have for years before finally beginning the gradual process of discoveringthem.

Just my :2cents:

Izzfan :flag3:

[ambi53mm]

bi-curious when reversed is curious bi and to me that as simple as it gets.


Of course suoiruc-ib is also bi-curious reversed but might tend to confuse us more than we already are, aren't, are, aren't, are.....am!

Ambi :)

[12voltman59]

When I first came to this site a touch over a year ago---to me the ----term "bisexual curious" meant that I had this part of myself--a part that has been there all my life but I had no name for for most of that time and did not really comprehend or understand it.

I had some experience over the years with other guys, but those experiences were few and fleeting and also--for most of those years was I strongly attracted to females but yet had that lingering, incessant desire to have a sexual experience with another guy. (When I decided it was time to figure this "bisexual curious thing" out once and for all--- all I thought I wanted to do with another guy was to have only the sexual aspect but I am amending that parameter.)

I have been "investigating" my "bisexual curiousity" rather intently for the past few years and thanks to this site---I have come to satisfy much of that curiousity and have gained more knowledge about this subject--enough at this point to say that I am no longer "bicurious" but truly bisexual--even though my understanding of this is still growing and evolving----

Among the things I have found thanks to the folks here--it has helped to smash a few of the myths and concerns about bisexuality I had held that put the brakes on from me exploring this aspect of myself such as: 3-way sexual encounters are only between two females and one male---I would never have thunk it a woman would want to "do it" with two guys and that if I have periodic sex with another man or men----that would kill any chance of being with a woman ever again.

To many of you those might seem like stupid ideas--but then again--look at the misinformation that is out there about we bisexuals coming from such sources such supposedly wild, wicked and radical Hollywood---I just watched some new network show the other night on NBC that had a character ranting and raving that there "is no such thing as bisexuals, just merely people who are gay and haven't figured that out yet!!!!!" :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

I just want to say to all of you bisexual queers on here--thanks for helping me learn more about this whole "bisexual curious thing!!!!"

That is my story and I am sticking to it!!!!!!!!!!

:) :) :) :) :) :cool: :cool: :cool: :cool: ;) ;) :bibounce: :yinyang: :yinyang: :bounce: :bounce: :grouphug:

[RebekaLee]

i think it's a phase of denial. people think they are bi, but won't want to officially acknowledge their feelings until they have some sort of definitative momemt or until they actually have a physical experience that proves their theory..

I think Toronto's post best decribes it for me. I only dated men for the longest time. If I was ever interested in a woman I hid the feelings b/c, how I grew up, that was 'wrong.' So when I first started exploring my sexuality a few years back...I didn't feel 'worthy' of calling myself bisexual. Yes, I was attracted to females more then i was males. But if it came down to it, what if that wasn't really for me either?

So I chose the term 'bicurious.' I knew what I was attracted to...but because of society pressures I didn't know if I could handle all the added stress that can come along with being in a same sex relationship.

It was also a good transition word for myself. The whole process of me coming out wasn't just coming out in public and to friends and family. It was coming out to myself. I was so confused on what I really wanted. If I wanted to stay on the 'safe' path and stick to guys, or cross the line and date a girl.

So those are my reasonings for the word bicurious. Also during my exploring I've realized that it does not matter what you call yourself. It is a word for yourself, and to help you best describe yourself. So if someone feels more bicurious then bisexual...then so be it.

Oh, and btw, I started refering to myself as bisexual this time last year. It will be a week next Saturday. I had met a girl, we spent the night together. It was nothing sexual. But holding her in my arms and waking up next to her...well, i decided there was no use denying my feelings anymore. We dated for a few months then broke up. Now I wonder if my next adventure will be with a man or a woman. Oh the joys of being bi. :bibounce:

[nothings5d]

I haven't had any experience with either sex but I still very much count myself as bisexual because I know who I'm attracted to, whenever anyone asks me how I can know I'm bi when I've not had any experience I feel like asking them if they want me to draw them a diagram to help them out. To me bisexual means being attracted to both sexes, simple as that, and has nothing to do with behaviour

God, I'm glad someone else out there has the same problem I do. Still a virgin, to both sexes, but know that their bi. I accepted the fact that I'm bi months ago but haven't "come out" to anyone for fear of them asking me, "How do you know if you haven't tried it?" Even my parents seem a bit of a problem for me to talk to about this, though I know they will be accepting of it.

Oh yeah, and I hate the term bi-curious myself. I think it mainly applies to people who think they're bi but don't want to fully admit it to themselves yet, and to people who are actually either gay or straight but think, "It's cool to be bi." Kind of like people who are actually straight who call themselves gay because "It's cool."

Oh, and Izzfan kinsey goes 1-8 so to correct your figures, if I understood you right
1 or a 5 would be 1 or a 7 and 2-4 would be 2-5

[SLIMES]

i think it's a phase of denial. people think they are bi, but won't want to officially acknowledge their feelings until they have some sort of definitative momemt or until they actually have a physical experience that proves their theory..

Why would someone in denial describe themselves as this? In some contexts it can refer to a Kinsey 1. I have conversed with bi-curious individuals in the past and i have a lot of respect for someone (a Kinsey 1) who could probably enjoy life without any same-sex contact but is prepared to accept the possibility of same sex feelings.

We've discussed in other threads the idea that most people have the potential for same sex activity. It's obvious if we look around us that there are many who deny this. We should welcome and support those who are prepared to acknowledge that side of themsleves without trying to 'recruit' them into the LGBT community. i am someone on this forum who believes that sexuality is a very fluid thing that can change from time to time and is extremely complex. If we accept this,then there should be no such thing as the LGBT community and hopefuly one day we will be able to just accept that we all have different and varied impulses.

At the moment we have Kinsey 5s and 6s = the gay community
2s to 4s = us
0s to 1s =everyone else

The minority of Kinsey 1's who have the courage to acknowledge their orientation (even within the closet) should be respected. I'm bi and i have to acknowledge that otherwise I'd go mad. (I'm a kinsey 3). Someone who is a Kinsey 1 doesn't have that pressure. If they describe themselves as bi-curious and we suggest that they are either Bi or straight is to hypocritically espose the same 'one or the other' ideas that we all want to fight. I.e. you have gays and straights saying that people have to be either one or the other. and then we suggest that people are either part of our community or not.

If as Kinsey suggested 90% of us are bi in a sense, then why suggest that bi-curious ppl are in denial. In a sense they're are bi but they just want to express the feeling that they are predominantly str8.

I'll edit this when I'm sober lol.

[Chaia]

bi-curious when reversed is curious bi and to me that as simple as it gets.


Of course suoiruc-ib is also bi-curious reversed but might tend to confuse us more than we already are, aren't, are, aren't, are.....am!

Ambi :)

LOL!!!
:)

[bigdaddyden59]

I have "bicurious" in my screen name. To me anyway...it means what it says. I'm curious about having sex with another man and I haven't found the right guy whom I trust and feel comfortable enough with to explore these curiosities yet.

I don't beleive that I can call myself a true bisexual until I've had at least one experience. Who knows...I may not enjoy it all, maybe I'll find out it's true that sometimes fantasy is better than reality...Maybe I'll enjoy it alot and then identify myself as a true bisexual.

Anyway...Just my two cents worth....

[NorthBiEast]

There was a time when I considered myself to be "bi-curious" even though I had never heard that phrase before. I knew I was feeling something, but I didn't know what it meant, or what I wanted to do about it, if anything. I've since recognized that I was feeling attraction, not just to one person, but to women in general. I now consider myself to be "bisexual" even though I'm still eagerly anticipating my first FF experience. :2cents:

[Lisa (va)]

Let me first say that I agree that a persons sexuallity is much more a mental state of being rather than the actions themself.

Folks have a hard enough time defining "bi" in terms that fit everyone. We are all individuals with varying levels of desires that can change one way or the other with time. I have always had the feeling that the individual should not feel the need to label themselves but define their sexuality as it fits them instead of trying to fit a generalized definition.

As far as 'curious' or 'bi curious' it may simply be a transition period within the person as he/she accepts these feelings that have surfaced and use the term until such time that they define their sexuality to define themselves and not actions

just my :2cents:

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[letsgetnaked]

I used the term "bicourious" in my profile because I'm just that. Courious, I've never been with another male, the idea is intriegueing (is that spelled right?) I am a married man an know I the to eat at the y so to speak so I not female courious. If and when I do try same sex with another couple or person, then I recon I will have to change my profile to just simply Bi. But untill then I'm still courious, courious, courious... Don't know if that helped but that's my story an I'm stickin to it

[Sara&Bobby]

(Saera) I sometimes call myself bicurious but mostly bisexual as I always like looking but have never had the guts to go up to someone of the opposite sex, and thus have never experienced it.

I really don't know what it would feel like to be with someone of the opposite sex, i can only imagine it would be wonderful but that is why i sometimes consider myself bi-curious.

I especially considered myself to be bi-curious when i was just realising that i was bisexual, which was around the 16-yr-old mark. I noticed that I was noticing girls etc.

[gentlepen9]

Curious? I don't think I ever went through a curious phase. I've been curious about frog legs though. It just so happen I got the chance to try them and they were pretty good, much thanks to the chef though. But I wouldn't make them a added staple to my grocery list. :tong:
I guess to me being "bi-curious" is where you're intrigued by the idea of having a sexual experience with someone of the same-sex but you're not sure if you want to add such experiences to your regular sexual activities. So you just have to try it and see.
I think it's different to wonder what it's like to be with a man or a woman as opposed to wondering what it's like to be with a specific individual. As I see it bi-curiosity is more so a sexual curiosity based upon the gender of the other person rather than the individual.

[NakedBike]

This is my second day of reading and first post. I was drawn to this sight as a means perhaps to better define my "self". I've considered posting numerous times but realize like many things I've read-I am confused by what I am pondering. I've lived a predominately hetrosexual life. Being said by a matter of convience my first sexual relationships were with my best friend and neighbor while sleeping out in the backyard. Were it a one time thing I'd have to dismiss it as curiousity but we did keep it up (pun intended) for a couple years. Concurrently I discovered that my other neighbor-female loved to have her nubile privates lovingly caressed by both fingers and tongue. So while I found stroking cock and sucking dick entertaining I think I was much more heavily drawn to women. I had a very open and strong verbal relationship with my mother-who was forced to leave the military for an indiscretion with another female....hmmm.....she herself believed that an attraction to the same sex was natural and therefore for the most part I felt comfortable with myself.
I have over the years developed wonderful platonic relationships with a few men-some straight-some bi- some gay-I'm an artist and as such the sexual diversity seems to be greater among my peers. But....I also do building as a trade and within this circle my "bi-ness" seems to put off some of the real macho straight guys-and for the most part I appear very straight. O
I'm married to a hetro wife-have been true to her since wedded. I don't think I so much as thought of sex with a man for years-I do most frequently have the urge to have sex with other women that I find attractive but can fantasize about past relationships as a means to "relieve" the tension. My wife and I will watch porn and she enjoys watching girl/girl/guy but doesn't seem to care to act upon the possibility-that being said it would be near impossible as my son would be around and that would certainly make it beyond anything possible. I haven't thought guy sex except very rarely until recently. And then I thought ....cheat? tell? What of rejection? I would love to have sex with my wife and another man. Last fall my wife was away at a conference for grad school in Maine. We rode together their on our motorcycles (nakeds of course). The grad program she is in deals heavily with diversity-and this is both racial as well as sexual orientation. I met a number of people at the conference and absolutely lusted for two women-one straight-one bi- and you guessed it a fucking guy-the more I got to know him the more I "liked" him. He was 15 years my junior so I was surprised by some of the things that were said -enough so that I realized that attraction was mutual. I passed off that meeting with my wife and how lovely her friends were but didn't really go into detail as to how lovely I thought each were.
Ah that point of the post-bi-curious. I believe that man was the first true sense of "lust" I had but what also showed was am admiration for the individual along with the "lust"-this hitherto had only occured with the feminine gender in my life. Unlike when I meet an attractive woman I may know them platonically but desire them physically/emotionally (but never act upon that as a part of monogamy within my marriage)-I still "know" from past and present relationship how it "could feel". With senerio #2-this lad is only a 2-dimensional model. I am therefore than bi-curious. I haven't considered any future interactions yet with regard to the above but I do thinks it some how helps define what I currently am with regard to my sexuality.

[bhg08054]

...
But anyway, anyone want to enlighten me as to what it actually means? Can anyone give a definition everyone could agree on? Or explain at least what bicurious means to them or why you might choose to label yourself as such??
IMHO, it defines the time after you've come to understand what bisexuality is, and before you've decided if that is what you are.

[findingpeace]

However, I think it refers to when someone has slight bisexual feelings and doesn't quite understand them yet, but doesn't go into denial about them, they are curious about the bisexual side that is present within them through no choice of their own.
Izzfan :flag3:

I think that may be the best description I've heard.

I still have a hard time naming that what I feel and how I am is bisexual. I'm still curious about these feelings and drives for men that are very different than my feelings and drives for women. Sometimes I say I'm bisexual, but really more just coming to the understanding that I'm simply "not straight."

I know down the line that I will probably label myself confidently as bisexual, but I haven't explored the same sex attraction enough to embrace it. Therefore I am still curious about bisexuality and claiming it as my own. I want women all the time and men sometimes to play with - therefore I don't fit my own stereotype of bisexual being a 50/50 thing and until I work through my own awareness of who I am I probably won't completely accept that a 70/30 split is valid bisexuality :-p So I may sound confused, but not at all ;)

[Sparks]

I don't like the term bi cuisious etither. But we all have to start somewherer. Havining sucked and barebarbacked on many occasions, there is nothing better than man with man sex. I love womem.I just want to share.

[miamiuu]

I think if you are attracted to a person of the same sex physically, or emotionally you are bi. It is easier in my opinion just decide you are bi and live your life than take the time wondering if you are bi curious.