me and my girl

[james1715]

There are some confusing bits of my life that i desperately wish would fall into place. Ive posted here before but i think this post will be different....

I have this girlfriend who has been mine since june. She has been by my side through a lot. I see a shrink and we seem to have established that "there is no basis from which to say i am homosexual," which seems true.

So i am with my gf and sometimes i feel with her and yet others i feel worrisome and detached emotionally from her. She is in love with me and has said through various conversations that shes not going anywhere. I dont know how i feel about her all the time, it seems to shift and sway.

I wonder sometimes if i have a curiosity about homosexuality (or bisexuality or whatever) and it is because i say "thats forbidden" in my head that i am magnetized more to it. Its like that which is denied is what one tries to experience. I feel as though if i said all is ok, there are no forbiddens in life, that i would be more calm and genuine in my feelings.

For instance we take guy on guy porn. Sometimes, most of the time, it does not attract me. Yet overtime of this non-attraction, it becomes an attraction until i embrace it and it seems like some kind of equilibrium is reached afterwords.

I need to find my answers myself for them to be true, but its hard to do this.

[Long Duck Dong]

dude, lol stop looking for the answers and look at the question......

you are trying to reason out ya fuild sexuality .... and believe me its so common in people, and its a constant thing for life

the fact that you are confining it to sexuality is ignoring the other aspects of ya life..... one day you may love peanut butter, and for 6 months you may love it.... than it changes and for a time, you crave maple syrup....then its back to peanut butter

its not odd, weird or strange to go thru times with a yearning..... its perfectly natural..... lol.... sadly we are taught that life and ourselves need to be stable.....and constant..... snorts.... never gonna happen.....

live life on a seesaw, would be a better way of seeing things..... cos we are fuild in nature.... our balance shifts, and we need to rebalance ourselves to find the balance again.... and cos the world is mainly 95 % bisexual in some form...they too are finding the balance..... its just that about 60% of the world refuse to face the truth.....

many bisexual capable people will find that they are attracted to different aspects of sexuality.... doesn't mean SFA....( sweet F**K all )...most of them will never act on it.... but cos it affects our emotional and mental state of being, we feel like we can be falling in and out of love with people

i am a prime example...lol..... i have people around me that i love dearly and some days I wish they would bugger off....and i have days that i threaten to chain them to the floor so they can't leave..... but as a constant... they are always there if i need them and vice versa.....its part of the fun of being in love, or having close friends....and its part of human nature

[james1715]

That was a very helpful post for me, thank you. Its just a very frustrating and depressing thing to not know how i feel sometimes and it causes friction with my gf even though she is 100 percent in the loop. i want to be less dramatic, think less, and fele more.

[luvrnpa]

This is why I'm on this site. For people like you to let me know that I'm not alone. Even though I'd like to, I can't act out on my bi-sexuality. My wife would not approve of cheating. Same sex or not. She does not understand bi, or doesn't want to? Doesn't matter to me. We both like sex with one another. And it's good! I'd like to thank all who post their opinions because their feelings help me to best uderstand my own. And with that said, I'm going to look at some of the dirty pictures on here. (LOL) :) :tong:

[TorontoGuy2007]

could be other factors in your life are causing you to struggle with this relationship. stress, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, problems at work, problems with your health, problems with family or friends..

any of these could distract you from being able to totally let down your guard and open your emotions and totally enjoy and appreciate love with your girlfriend.

it took me 25 years to get my first girlfriend, and when i was with her, i was sort of still in denial that it had happened.. guess i was so used to lonliness and failure, that i couldn't quite believe what i was finally getting into. it seemed too good to be true.. i was more worried about the relationship ending, than taking it one day at a time and enjoying it.

could be that although you love your girlfriend, maybe she's just not quite a perfect match for you.. (then again, nobody is perfect), but perhaps there's just not enough to satisfy all your needs.

something tells me that you feel as though you could be doing better than this relationship and that you are feeling as though there is an "opportunity cost" of sorts that is passing you by.

sometimes we get this idea in our mind as to what exactly defines success, and when we get what we think we want and need to be happy, and when we don't seem as happy as we thought we'd be, we often second guess our situation in life..

maybe you are gay, maybe you are bi, or maybe this girl just isn't enough to satisfy you, or maybe she is but you feel the need to see others before making a final decision that this is the right one for you on a permanent basis.

not that anything i am saying makes sense, but i guess it's normal to be confused at times and to have good days and bad days regarding our feelings of our current relationship situation..