Advice on being discreet?

[Havesomefun]

Hello All,

I was looking for some advice on exploring my bisexuality discreetly. I am 30 years old and have come to a comfort level with myself that I am bisexual, however have had only one brief same sex experience to confirm this fact. It was in a different Canadian city with little risk of being 'exposed'. Although I am not ready to come out further at this point to friends etc, I want to explore my sexuality further.

Do you have any advice on the best way to do this?

Thanks!

[ambi53mm]

Hello All,

I was looking for some advice on exploring my bisexuality discreetly. I am 30 years old and have come to a comfort level with myself that I am bisexual, however have had only one brief same sex experience to confirm this fact. It was in a different Canadian city with little risk of being 'exposed'. Although I am not ready to come out further at this point to friends etc, I want to explore my sexuality further.
Do you have any advice on the best way to do this?
Thanks!

Prior to the internet I explored my bisexuality with a friend who took a risk in approaching me one night and we enjoyed a very discreet relationship that spanned over quite a few years. I don’t believe I give off any vibe of being bisexual per se but I am known for being somewhat unconventional and open-minded when it comes to other areas in life. I often thought about going to another city and trying to create a persona that appeared gay and hitting places that catered to the homosexual population but never resorted to actually carrying through with it. This was long before I came to understand the difference between being bisexual and being homosexual and perhaps even more important the arrival of AIDS.

The internet has changed the way I’ve come to meet other like-minded people and has opened the windows of opportunity. I’ve been fortunate in meeting others like myself who wish to remain discreet but have the desire to explore. It’s not without risk but I’ve met other males in the same boat that for one reason or another wish to remain discrete and have a way of going about doing so with precaution and discretion. It’s not always for sexual purposes but with two in particular it became sexual. My advice is to be careful and play safe. If you narrow down your search and can find just one partner that fulfills your desires then you’ve limited your exposure. Th3e two males I became sexual with as well as myself were tested prior to and after and all had clean bills of health. It offers me the safety and the discretion I prefer and allows for a more meaningful relationship with both. Neither of the other two have ever met nor will they. We made a pact among ourselves that should we wish to explore beyond what we enjoy that we would inform one another prior to or immediately after doing so. These days I have just the one occasional friend and I trust him he’s been to my house, met my family and is of such a character that I have no need to question his honor, nor give him cause to question mine. He may jokingly accuse me of having my cake and eating it too LOL, but values what we share together.

Ambi :)

[kitten]

Ambi has excellent advice for you.

I follow up with be patient and take your time to find a trusted friend and/or mentor that will match your pace. Coming to this site has given me the opportunity to meet and talk to like-minded friends. Through our chat and emails I have begun to feel comfortable with my own feelings, desires and preferences. I am learning a new language as it were. This is a safe place to talk and start to explore by reading the forum and chatting with other members. Best wishes to you!

[Havesomefun]

Thanks to both of you! This site seems likely an excellent place to start!

[DiamondDog]

Start going to gay bars/clubs in your area.