setting off a bomb inside my head, again

[Azrael]

Well, I'm single again. For the best, really. I care about her so much but she was so dramatic I was practically climbing up the walls. I could never seem to help her and it was sucking the life out of me. I have no ill will toward her, I just couldn't do it anymore. Since then she's succeeded in making me feel like total shit, which I guess should be expected. At a certain point I just couldn't ignore how much the relationship was messing with my head. The girl I was briefly with before was/is a cutter. The girl before her watched her dad beat her mother. I don't know why I keep getting involved with people who are so unstable. Not like I'm one to talk really, I've got plenty of problems of my own that I work hard on. Truth is, I've been wanting a boyfriend since last summer. I was involved briefly (no sex but lots of affection) with a really awesome 27 year old vietnamese architect. I scared him away with my manic psychosis, but the whole thing really stuck with me. I've only had one boyfriend and it wasn't that serious. *sigh* So we've established that I'm sorely deprived of male affection. Step one accomplished. Question is, where the hell do I meet a guy here in the Tampa bay area? I'm sure gay and bi culture exists here but hell if I know where to find it. At this point I'm just looking for a friend or two cause I'm still so screwed up by everything.

[Long Duck Dong]

hugs ya arzael...

move to nz, lol the weather is good, the people are friendly and the mental health system sucks like shit...

but at least you will get treated like one of the crowd...lol
a few of the people i hang with, have manic psychosis... and i generally ignore it...to me its no issue to fear or avoid..... its the sign of a person needing a understanding and supportive friend...lol

actually come to think of it, most of my friends are bisexual. gay, les trans and /or dealing with issue of the mind.....I hang with the most interesting people lol

[Herbwoman39]

((((((((((((((((Az))))))))))))))))))))) I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time sweetie. Just wanted to remind you that I'm here if you need to talk.

[rayosytruenos]

Well, I'm single again. [...] The girl I was briefly with before was/is a cutter. The girl before her watched her dad beat her mother. [...] I was involved briefly (no sex but lots of affection) with a really awesome 27 year old vietnamese architect. [...] I've only had one boyfriend and it wasn't that serious. *sigh* [...] At this point I'm just looking for a friend or two cause I'm still so screwed up by everything. Hi, Azrael!

If my count is correct, it seems that you have had 3 relationships with girls and 2 relationships with boys... When I went to the University, I was still a virgin and was so for a few years!!! I had (my only) one relationship, with a girl that maybe it lasted for 2 or 3 years, but I had to break it, as she didn't want to have sex before being married and I was going to explode, me or my gonads, not sure... :bigrin:

So by count and experience you have won, and I'm not a teenager anymore. I have to admit that I have sex encounters now, with guys mostly (they are easier) and with some girls, but nothing I could see as a relationship.

So I would say, be patient and stop looking, that's what I've done: stop looking, and live the moment, "carpe diem". There are lots of happenings around me that have proved how fragile life is and how quickly and suddenly it can be taken away or become senseless, so I just try to enjoy what I can and thank for it, who knows what the future has for me, maybe I'm dead tomorrow or in a coma; well, that could be tomorrow, but today I can show myself and the others that I'm still alive!!!

All the best,

ray

[twodelta]

....Question is, where the hell do I meet a guy here in the Tampa bay area? I'm sure gay and bi culture exists here but hell if I know where to find it. At this point I'm just looking for a friend or two cause I'm still so screwed up by everything.

Hey Azrael - First thing I might suggest is, don't put so much pressure on Yourself. Take a little time to "fall in love" with Yourself. Forgot who said it, but someone once said,"If You can't like Yourself, who else can?". The second thing is, stop "looking" for someone else. During the single periods of my life, I never found anyone when I was looking. Relationships always seemed to come around when I least expected them, and in the last place that I'd ever think to look. So, go out when You want to, stay home when You feel like it. Go to church occasionally, go to a hockey game, go to a sports bar and play trivia. In other words, just be Yourself and :bigrin: alot. And remember, life is kind of like Candid Camera....."When You least expect it" - Dave :grouphug:

[jedinudist]

Hey Azrael - First thing I might suggest is, don't put so much pressure on Yourself. Take a little time to "fall in love" with Yourself. Forgot who said it, but someone once said,"If You can't like Yourself, who else can?". The second thing is, stop "looking" for someone else. During the single periods of my life, I never found anyone when I was looking. Relationships always seemed to come around when I least expected them, and in the last place that I'd ever think to look. So, go out when You want to, stay home when You feel like it. Go to church occasionally, go to a hockey game, go to a sports bar and play trivia. In other words, just be Yourself and :bigrin: alot. And remember, life is kind of like Candid Camera....."When You least expect it" - Dave :grouphug:


Every good friendship in my life, and the one true Love in my life (my wife) all happened when I was NOT looking for them to.

Relax, take a few deep breaths, and just be yourself - live your daily life. That's when the right ones come along.

Best of luck to ya :D

[Azrael]

All points well taken. Much love and gratitude to you all.

[Colbalt_Blue]

You had said that you knew there must be a gay/lesbian/bisexual community in Tampa, but you were not sure where to find it. Maybe this would be a start? I went online to google and typed in "gay Tampa Bay" and this is one of the sites that came up. Seems to have a lot of information.

It lists bars, businesses, and has a area for search so you can type in your interests -- I suspect -- that will let you find groups that have the same interests you have.

http://www.gaytampa.com/gaytampa/welcome.html

I don't know anything about the site, and I don't know if it is a good site or not. But it might be a start.

Good luck on your search.

Steven

[smurf111978]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((( AZ )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry to hear things arnt going to well for you hunni. I'm very fond of you your a cute sweet guy who deserves the best in life. I'm always here for you babes if you need to talk any time you have my email & yahoo etc.

Take care now

Love, hugs and smooches

Smurfie
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox