Profile Critique

[Herbwoman39]

Okay gang, with 2007 just around the corner and a distinct lack of interest in my profile, I'm looking for some input on how to make it a bit better.

What can I do to make my profile more interesting? How can I get more of the lovely ladies to drop me a line?

There will be NO nude photos. I don't want to scare people off. :(

[jedinudist]

I don't see anything wrong :D

Being honest and upfront is always the best route - but usually not the most productive. Which is fine with me - I'm not looking for quantity but quality :D

I have had very (read VERY) few replies to my profile that centered on meeting or interest in meeting me instead of my photography and artwork. Which is sexually frustrating sometimes, but still the best thing for me.

It will happen - when ur not looking for it.

I hope 2007 is a great year for u!

[FerociousFeline]

Your profile looks good to me, but then, I'm really not very good with that sort of thing myself, so I don't really feel qualified to judge lol! Let's face it, most of all relationships that are worth a flip are those where chemistry is a primary ingrediant. Since the only way you can really put out bait for chemistry is to just showcase yourself and what you love (about both yourself and others) then I think your profile is not really in need of a rework. (now mine, that's a different story lol)

FF

[LoveLion]

Just erase the whole thing and start form scratch. Whenever I update any of my online profiles or anything, I do that. It lets you start completly fresh and up to date rather then building on something you made a while ago.

I just finally added pictures to mine, no nudes though.

[Long Duck Dong]

hugs ya herby :tong: :tong: :tong: :tong:

mmm i think that the thing that may turn people off is ya honesty

you are a bi virgin.. and wanna make friends, not fuck buddies....I give you full marks for that.... but others may see it as no sex....

for christ sakes....don't change hun.....if people can't accept the fact that you wanna * fall in love *, and not fall into bed...then.... there is pretty of others in bisexual.com

i love ya profile, cos its honest, open and got warmth and I can't help with any changes cos you have already done a awesome job with it

[julie]

Okay gang, with 2007 just around the corner and a distinct lack of interest in my profile, I'm looking for some input on how to make it a bit better.

What can I do to make my profile more interesting? How can I get more of the lovely ladies to drop me a line?

There will be NO nude photos. I don't want to scare people off. :(

hey, hi herbwoman :)

hmm... no feedback from women here :cool: sadly, not a huge surprise really. Most of the interest i've had in my profile has been from men or couples looking for a 3sum :eek:

Well, i've read your profile and looked at your pics (now you have drawn my attention to them ;) ) at will give you my very honest critique, if that helps?

..Personally, i really like your straightforward honesty in stating what you are looking for in a relationship. Much of what i'd be looking for too, i guess. Less is usually more for me, and i think this is pretty much all i want to know about you from a personal ad. It creates enough interest for me to want to discover more about you.

..Reading about your vocation plus successful business and family life felt quite intimidating and a turn off for me, if i'm being brutally honest :( It took away the mystery of the lady with the intriguing username.

Detracting from your uniqueness by thrusting your other roles/ achievements into the spotlight came across more as a job application. For me, a personal ad is where i want to feel invited to explore a little more about you Herbwoman, the woman herself.

This same theme of detraction seems to continue in your pictures. You hide behind toys and i so wish you didn't... I like your face, it interests me and i see depth there. The same depth i see reflected in the posts you write here. The depth of a beautiful deep and complex adult woman becomes diluted when the only pictures i see are of you hiding behind childrens toys.

..I want to shout to you ' be proud of who you are, you are a beautiful and intriguing woman'

This is what interests me, so much more than the social status you may or may not have achieved.

...Stand proud beautiful lady. You have no need to hide. Dont defend your weight, it is part of the whole package of who you are, it needs no special mention...

...i hope this helps?

with love Julie x :female: :bipride:

[littlerayofsunshine]

Herbwoman,


I honestly think your profile is great. It shows that you are open, fun loving, light spirited deep thinker. You're pretty and love to smile.

Profiles are not to see how many different people you can get to answer. You have what you seek and what you seek would love to read your profile. It may put off some people, but those who it puts off are probably not those that would peek your romantic interests anyway. So it weeds out the one night standers, and the do a threesome with me and my hubby repliers.


Your ad is genuine and someone just as genuine will reply.

[welickit]

Why wait to be contacted??? Make the first move yourself. Find someone you are interested in and drop them a line. :2cents:

[deremarc]

OK, coming from a straight girl (I hope that is allright?) if I were looking for a relationship with a woman, I think your profile is great. It "fits" what you are looking for.

If you are more interested in finding someone to explore having sex with though, it probably could be tweaked a bit. I see more in there about who you are as a person, and less about sex. Your profile would make me interested in becoming friends with you, and maybe something would lead from there. But, it is rather platonic I guess. So, if I were more interested in sex, I might steer away. But, that's a good thing right? You are not looking for that type of person if I understand you from your profile and posts.

But, I think you look and sound great. And, as for your pics...they show you and also show a playful side, which is fun.

Best of luck! :)

[someotherguy]

I'm afraid I can't help. The luck I've had with women was because they wanted a man, so none of that would apply in your case. I'm sure you know more what women want than I do, so maybe all you need to do is include in your profile those kinds of things a man wouldn't respond to, and by default that will attract women who aren't looking for men. It's not logical, and maybe that works in its favor. I was once given advice to make a personals ad appear like a picture the other person could see themselves in. That makes it an invitation and not some kind of job interview, or worse, when people list their favorite songs or tell about their pets. But then again, maybe that stuff works with bi women. The one thing I do know is whatever you say will turn some people on just as much as it turns other people off. You can blame that on ex-US-president Abe Lincoln, who decreed that we can't please all of the people all of the time. I'm sure you'll find someone. The trick is to ignore bad advice, like this.

[deremarc]

How about a profile like this:

Hi, I am a married woman with a great husband, a wonderful family and an awesome job that I am turning into a career. It would seem as if my life were very full, but it is not complete. For the last couple of years, I have been fantasizing about being with a woman. Now, with my husbands full support, I am attempting to find what I am looking for.

I don't want to just meet and take off our clothes and "go at it". I know me and I would not be comfortable in that situation. Besides, what excites me about the thought of being with a woman is being able to explore the whole package-emotionally and physically. It's the thought of connecting in that way with a woman, that gives me my sleepless nights. :)

I'm not looking to replace my husband as my primary relationship, but I do want to find someone that I can connect with, have great conversations, and have fun with (with the hopes that it will end up in the bedroom).

So, to all you ladies out there...hope to hear from some of you soon. Now that I have made up my mind-I can't wait to get started! ;)

[julie]

How about a profile like this:

Hi, I am a married woman with a great husband, a wonderful family and an awesome job that I am turning into a career. It would seem as if my life were very full, but it is not complete. For the last couple of years, I have been fantasizing about being with a woman. Now, with my husbands full support, I am attempting to find what I am looking for.

I don't want to just meet and take off our clothes and "go at it". I know me and I would not be comfortable in that situation. Besides, what excites me about the thought of being with a woman is being able to explore the whole package-emotionally and physically. It's the thought of connecting in that way with a woman, that gives me my sleepless nights. :)

I'm not looking to replace my husband as my primary relationship, but I do want to find someone that I can connect with, have great conversations, and have fun with (with the hopes that it will end up in the bedroom).

So, to all you ladies out there...hope to hear from some of you soon. Now that I have made up my mind-I can't wait to get started! ;)

wow! now thats more like it
:bigrin:

[Herbwoman39]

Thanks for the input guys. With all this in mind, I have a direction for tweaking.

Yep, she'll find me. One of these days, she'll find me. Whoever she is :)

[mannysg]

You profile is good, but I agree with Julie about the job stuff. I'd cut the job/career info to just say "Professionally I am an Herbalist and Aromatherapist." I like deremarc's proposed profile.

As for pics, you are a pretty lady, and nude pics would NOT scare people off! If you're not comfortable with nude pics, then don't post them. Simple as that. :) However, I would suggest that you have a couple more pic on there, especially ones that focus more on you.

[Herbwoman39]

Since I was up til 4 am celebrating, I look like death in a can right now. I'll put up some new pics in the next couple days.

The reason I left the job/schooling part up is that I wanted to give the indication in a subtle manner that I am an educated woman with a good (albeit unusual) career so I'm not out for a Sugar Momma. I also thought that would be a good explanation for my screen name. Someone actually asked me once if it were a reference to cannabis. I'm D&D free. (Although I used to love AD&D ;)

Plus, I think that mentioning what I do and the fact that I am continuing to pursue formal knowledge says that I am able to commit to something.

As to the pics of myself with the Disney characters, that's just part of who I am. I still love those things from my childhood and I allow myself to play regularly :) I wish i has the photo of myself, Alice and the Mad Hatter in the Tea Cups. I love that shot.

[Sapphrodite]

As great as profiles are, it might be an idea (if you dont already) set aside a set date/time you spend in the chatroom each week. Could be 20mins on a Thursday night or whatever fits into your routine, but I find that a static profile will only draw so much attention. My profile was posted here for over six months with no replies, then I started going into chat and within 2 weeks made lots of friends and received responses from both genders.

I find that it's easier to feel like you know someone once you see them interact in a group, plus it gives you a much better idea of chemistry and humour, both of which I sometimes find hard to capture in a profile. Just a suggestion since you seem to be very interested in finding someone in real life to connect with. Good Luck sweetie!!!

~ Sapphy ~ :tong:

[Herbwoman39]

Oooh! Great idea Sapphy! Makes sense to me that unless you've interacted with someone, the profile is just kind of like baiting the hook and then wondering why the fish aren't jumping into the boat :bigrin:

BTW, I put up a new pic. There will be another shortly.

[NEJack]

Well, I am going to ask the same question. No one has contacted me...ever. But I am sure those I have contacted me checked my profile before replying. And some have been considerate enough to answer. So it has to be good. Comments, advice?
I am intregued by the suggestion to periodically delete the profile and write a new one. Seems to be a way of keeping it fresh. Comments?

[mannysg]

Oooh! Great idea Sapphy! Makes sense to me that unless you've interacted with someone, the profile is just kind of like baiting the hook and then wondering why the fish aren't jumping into the boat :bigrin:

BTW, I put up a new pic. There will be another shortly.


Excellent pic!

[willbeyours2]

Hi There ,

Don't change what you are looking for or who you really are!!!! It is better to honest in what you are looking for or for that matter what you are not looking for. It took me a year to find the right person ( i hope) it is pretty new ..... but never the less I have had to kiss a few toads before my prince came along so to speak. Don't give up and CERTAILY DON'T CHANGE WHO YOU ARE!!!!


All the best,

Bill

[Herbwoman39]

I learned the "Be True To Yourself" lesson years ago. That's why I remain honest in my profile and honest in what I say to the people I talk with. This is who I am: romantic, fun-loving, intelligent, sometimes weird...an eclectic personality looking for the right lady who won't be freaked out by the mildly bizarre. :bigrin: I am not "normal" nor will I ever choose to be so. The right lady will love and cherish that quality in me.

[deremarc]

I learned the "Be True To Yourself" lesson years ago. That's why I remain honest in my profile and honest in what I say to the people I talk with. This is who I am: romantic, fun-loving, intelligent, sometimes weird...an eclectic personality looking for the right lady who won't be freaked out by the mildly bizarre. :bigrin: I am not "normal" nor will I ever choose to be so. The right lady will love and cherish that quality in me.

Great! Put that in your post. :)

[PolyLoveTriad]

I didnt see anything wrong with your profile at all. Dont listen to the guy who said some people will think it means no sex. Had I been looking for a woman, I would have replied to your profile :) I think your honesty of being a bi virgin is a plus to be honest. A lot of chicks dont want to dive right in, they want to learn, and tells them you want to go slow and explore and learn as well.

Give it time to find someone, I know people who have never met anyone or gotten replys and they have been on here for a really long time.

Good luck sweetie :o)

[Herbwoman39]

Great! Put that in your post. :)

I adjusted it a little bit and it fit VERY well. Thanks :)

[Herbwoman39]

At this point I'm just trying to cover every contingency so I don't get emails with questions I didn't think to cover (albeit briefly) in the profile.

Where are these women who don't want to jump in? Many I've run into just want to get into my pants. There have been a couple though. One sweet lady I even met for lunch and shopping once. But the rest just seem to want to knock me over right there.

And thank you for saying what you did about replying to my profile :) it was very sweet of you.



I didnt see anything wrong with your profile at all. Dont listen to the guy who said some people will think it means no sex. Had I been looking for a woman, I would have replied to your profile :) I think your honesty of being a bi virgin is a plus to be honest. A lot of chicks dont want to dive right in, they want to learn, and tells them you want to go slow and explore and learn as well.

Give it time to find someone, I know people who have never met anyone or gotten replys and they have been on here for a really long time.

Good luck sweetie :o)

[tom_uk]

At this point I'm just trying to cover every contingency so I don't get emails with questions I didn't think to cover (albeit briefly) in the profile.

Where are these women who don't want to jump in? Many I've run into just want to get into my pants. There have been a couple though. One sweet lady I even met for lunch and shopping once. But the rest just seem to want to knock me over right there.

And thank you for saying what you did about replying to my profile :) it was very sweet of you.

smiles,

just checked out your updated profile...

i especially like your Shakespeare quote and your new pics showing wider aspects of your personality :)

time for you American ladies to form an orderly queue methinks ;)

love Julie xx

(oops just realised i've written this through tom_uks account, it is julie though!)