PDA

View Full Version : I FINALLY did it!!



Herbwoman39
Dec 30, 2006, 2:28 PM
I am SO proud of myself! For anyone who has been following my journey you'll know it has been difficult for me to meet other women. First, because I have been concerned about the impact on my relationship with Hubby. Secondly because I have been painfully insecure and shy.

Last night Hubby and I came to quite the interesting understanding. He has decided that he's okay with me dating women that we are both attracted to even though I have stressed to him that he isn't going to play with us.

But this is beside the point. My big announcement is that last night at Cafe TuTu Tango I met the most amazing woman. She is a professional Tribal Belly Dancer. She was there performing for the clientelle at the restaurant.

After rehearsing in my head for about 15 minutes I went up to her, introduced myself and told her I thought she was a fascinating woman and I'd really like to get to know her better! And she gave me her business card!!

I also think she's Bi because I saw her kiss another woman on the lips and she had a man there holding a glass of water for her to sip from between dance routines.

So I emailed her today and asked her about classes and casually mentioned getting together for coffee.

I think now that I've introduced myself to one woman, it'll get easier to talk to others.

Cross your fingers kiddies!

LoveLion
Dec 30, 2006, 3:19 PM
Way to Go Herbwoman! Im proud of you taking that step. So far I havent practiced my bisexuality (although I did literally JUST come out with it) but I can wait to meet someone. IT seems as the new year rolls in everyone is starting new stages of their life this year. fantastic.

codybear3
Dec 30, 2006, 4:13 PM
My fingers are crossed for you, Herbwoman...I do hope everything works out in your favor... :paw: :paw:

Chaia
Dec 30, 2006, 4:34 PM
Well done! The first step is always the hardest! That took a lot of courage, so congratulations!

coyotedude
Dec 30, 2006, 5:28 PM
Awesome! You know what they say about the journey of a thousand miles!

Good luck! Have fun. And safe journey....

Peace

Biboz49
Dec 30, 2006, 6:28 PM
Fantastic! :wiggle2: Feels great doesn't it? The feelings are even better when you know you're ready to take that next step. I remember how amazing it felt on my first time. The next few days I was flying high. Being with a guy for the first time was even better than expected and I wished I'd clued in to my desires so many years earlier. Have a wonderful time discovering everything you've wanted!

innaminka
Dec 30, 2006, 7:05 PM
Last night Hubby and I came to quite the interesting understanding. He has decided that he's okay with me dating women that we are both attracted to even though I have stressed to him that he isn't going to play with us.



Any step forward is a step in the right direction. Follow your heart.
I don't understand the conditions imposed by your husband however - you can date someone HE is also attracted to?
In other words he is saying its alright to date other women but he maintains a veto?

I wonder if this is really what you want?

anyway, good luck in your new world. I hope it succeeds for you.

Herbwoman39
Dec 30, 2006, 9:02 PM
Any step forward is a step in the right direction. Follow your heart.
I don't understand the conditions imposed by your husband however - you can date someone HE is also attracted to?
In other words he is saying its alright to date other women but he maintains a veto?

I wonder if this is really what you want?

anyway, good luck in your new world. I hope it succeeds for you.

*I* don't quite understand his logic either. He may be thinking he'll get a 3-way out of it or maybe he just wants me to be happy. Heck. he may just be humoring me thinking as shy as I am that I won't actually have the courage to do anything.

If he started getting scared or insecure and he didn't want me to date this woman, I'd honor his veto in a heartbeat. He's my primary relationship and I'm going to honor his feelings.

For the time being however, I'm going to take advantage of the situation...slowly...and at my own pace. I still don't know if Lacey is Bi, either.

pasco_lol_cpl
Dec 30, 2006, 11:11 PM
Regardless of the conditions set by your husband, I say congratulations and wishes of good luck are in order.

meteast chick
Jan 1, 2007, 8:15 AM
BEST OF LUCK IN 2007 HERBWOMAN! I wish you only the best in your exploration of your sexuality and any endeavors you may choose to take.

Allthough your husband has put...um...eh...'restrictions' of sorts on your tryst, i'm not sure if it's better or worse than my soon to be ex. He knew I was bi and there came a point where I needed to explore it. So I asked him, and I got a big flat 'hell no, if you do that I'll leave you and take the kids'. Well, of course that sucked, but also, at least I knew what I was getting into.

Do you?

luv and kisses,
xoxoxoxoxoxo
meteast

Lorcan
Jan 1, 2007, 11:27 AM
Any step forward is a step in the right direction. Follow your heart.
I don't understand the conditions imposed by your husband however - you can date someone HE is also attracted to?
In other words he is saying its alright to date other women but he maintains a veto?

I wonder if this is really what you want?

anyway, good luck in your new world. I hope it succeeds for you.

A lot of primary partners have veto power over this. And as far as him being attracted to her, is it visual attraction or just general attraction? I like it if i have a general attraction to my partners boyfriend. Just because he is going to be in my life. I don't want to feel "yuck" when i see him.

querty
Jan 1, 2007, 4:25 PM
Way to go! - being curious myself, and having backed away from a few chances in the past simply cause I was too ..... something, I can appreciate the step you took. Just setting myself up on this site and not feeling bad about intimate chats was a big step. Whether or not you know her preferences is beside the point. You took a step that could lead to another. That takes guts. You rock! Not sure why I am so excited for you without even knowing you.

Cant speak to hubby's motives, but when my wife and I were considering opening our marriage, one of the primary rules was we both had veto power, even if it was only due to a "feeling about it". Top rule was, our relationship was first. Always first. We soon backed away from the idea of a open marriage, before anything took place, having decided the time was not right for us.

Best of luck! Be safe!

onewhocares
Jan 2, 2007, 12:56 PM
Well done my dear, well done. I am proud of the determination you have, working toward what YOU want for your life.


Belle